. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
8. A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"
9. The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
10. Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.
11. When you look really closely, all mirrors look like eyeballs.
12. My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "No it doesn't"
13. What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto.