AKPAN bought a new mobile phone. He sent a message to everyone on his phone book. The message reads: My mobile number has changed; earlier it was Nokia 3310, now it is Nokia 6610. Please take note,

· In a conversation: AKPAN : I am proud because my son is in Medical college
Friend: Really? What is he studying?
AKPAN: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.

· Akpan visits his Doctor
AKPAN: Doctor, in my dreams I play football every night.
DOCTOR: Take these drugs and you will be okay.
AKPAN: Can I take it tomorrow? Tonight is the final game.

· Akpan and his wife
AKPAN: If I die, will you remarry?
Wife: No! I will stay with my sister but if I die will you remarry?
AKPAN: No, I will also stay with your sister.

· AKPAN: People consider me as a “GOD”
Wife: How do you know?
AKPAN: When I went to the park today, everybody said, oh GOD, you have come again.









· AKPAN comes back to his car and finds a note saying “parking fine”
He writes a note and sticks it to a pole “Thanks for the compliment”

· How do you recognize Akpan in school?
He is the one who erases the notes from his book when the teacher erases the board.

· Once AKPAN was walking, he had a glove in one hand and none on the other hand. So a man asked him why he did so.
He replied: The weather forecast announced that on one hand, it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

· AKPAN: Why are all these people running?
Man: This is a race; the winner will get the cup.
AKPAN: If only the winner will get the Cup, why are the others running?

· In a classroom Teacher: “I killed a person. Convert this sentence into future tense”
AKPAN: The future tense is “You will go to jail”.

· AKPAN told his servant: “Go and water the plants!”
Servant: “It is already raining”
AKPAN: “So what? Take an umbrella and go”

Akpan is a dumb man