I was sixteen years old and extremely foolish.
My foolishness was also garnished with a heavy helping of adventurism.
This daring nature that defied reason.
Somehow unlike Christopher Columbus, I just felt that I was born to discover something no one else had discovered before.
So I chased knowledge, in all forms, like a drug addict running after a line of cocaine with his leaking nose.
I read about Alchemy.
And got fascinated by the pseudo-science.
The possibilities of using naturally occurring elements to create other naturally occurring elements was exciting.
And the potential of using naturally occurring elements to improve the naturally occurring abilities of living organisms was intoxicating.
Like Kryptonite and Clark Kent.
This was in the days of JAMB.
When our days were filled with going for extramural classes where instead of studying for our impending entrance exams to university, we sat listening to and telling tales of ‘clandestine deals’ that would enable us attend university in style and free us from a lifetime of 9 to 5 jobs.
This was when the phrase - “He has hit!” before it went local as “He done hammer!” - was popular and boys looked to pilfering and selling their parents money, gold and any other valuables in order to shop at “Homeboys” in Ojuelegba, and acquire that ‘Janded” look which was the passport for climbing the social ladder.
It was at this time, that stories about the power of mercury spread like wild fire.
That naturally occurring element.
Not the one’s that were housed in thermometers which were also known as quicksilver, owing to their silvery colour, but the rare ones that few people ever saw.
Red mercury.
That mystical element that held untold powers.
The tales were that with it, herbalists could invoke endless wealth, just the same way the tales of female panties in the hands of herbalists creating wealth are rife these days.
Boys were in search of red mercury.
They heard it was in the glass contraptions in power transformers, so they broke them, extricated the mercury and left neighbourhoods in months of darkness.
Then they walked around Lagos in search of that person, who would connect them with that herbalist, who would invoke that money, which would make them forever rich.
And as expected they only found fraudsters who exploited them and relieved them of the little money they had or made them loot their parents property to raise the money that would pay for the missing “ingredient’ the herbalists needing for his invocation to work.
I heard of mercury and was mesmerized by it’s power.
And its mystery.
There was nowhere you could find information on it.
The internet cafes at the time were just coming on stream and when you went to search on MSN and Netscape, you saw little information on it.
What you saw where people wanting to know more about it, or people speaking about its numerous powers and applications.
It was used for nuclear bombs, Space shuttles, Ginormous telescopes, Submarines and the list went on and on.
It built a longing for it in me that felt like a drowning man craving for air.
I needed it.
I wanted it.
And unlike the boys who wanted it to obtain wealth, I wanted it to obtain infinite knowledge.
Somehow I had this belief that through the powers of alchemy, mercury was the sole naturally occurring element that when ingested could improve the mental powers of the brain in geometric proportions.
To make that easily understandable, I believed that if you drank mercury, you will become superhumanly smart.
So I sought after mercury.
Days.
Weeks.
Months.
Then I found it.
With a friend of a friend, who had lost incredible sums of money looking for a herbalist to invoke it and give him untold wealth.
He was so frustrated and disillusioned, he gave me the mercury for free.
It was the last of three.
And was in a metallic container that had an opening in the side, through which you could see the red viscous liquid.
The metal container had a “MADE IN THE USSR.” stamp on one side.
And on the other side, was an inscription in a language I believed was Russian.
And he told me that he had got it from some guy, who had bought if from some sailor, who had stolen it from some ship, where it was being used to stabilize the electrical power in the ship’s engines.
He told me not to open it in the presence of electricity or natural light.
It had to be in a dimly lit dark room.
Lit by a native palm oil lamp.
If not the mercury will disappear.
I hurried home in mounting excitement.
I was going to become the smartest human the world had ever seen or would ever see.
I would outdo King Solomon in wisdom and outshine Albert Einstein in intellect.
When I got home, I found a Nescafe tin, emptied out the coffee, poured palm oil into it, took the cover, drilled a hole in it and threaded a tiny piece of cloth through it. I then covered the tin with its coffee and waited impatiently for the oil to permeate the piece of cloth, before I lit the cloth.
It took some time to finally catch fire, but when it did, it was a steady flame, that was blue at the base and red within.
I took it into my room, drew the window blind, turned off the light, and took the saw which I had kept on the bed and began to cut through the thick metal container. It took a herculean effort, until I finally opened the container.
There was a glass vial in it.
Like those used in hospitals to house injectable fluids.
I carefully hung it over a plastic cup, and used a nail filer to cut through it.
Slowly.
Until it cracked open and the red viscous fluid poured into the plastic cup.
At last, my red mercury.
Not.
It had separated instantly.
Red colouring that had stained the cup and ordinary mercury that had pooled together.
Silver and red.
Separate but together.
I dropped the broken glass vial and lifted up the cup with one hand the native lamp in the other.
So I could see clearly.
The silver fluid moved in a gelatinous whole.
Smoothly.
Unmixed.
Over the red fluid around it.
Unstained.
I put it down on the table in my room.
Covered it with a blank cloth.
Opened the door and hurried out to the kitchen to get another cup.
I practically ran.
Got it.
Came back.
Shut the door behind me.
Removed the cloth.
Lifted both cups.
Then slowly turned one above the other and the silver fluid flowed as one whole dollop until it dropped into the other cup.
There they were now.
Two cups in my hands.
One with the quicksilver or mercury and the other with this red colouring fluid.
It was a let down of massive proportions.
So disappointing I had to sit down on the bed to save my knees from buckling down under me.
I can’t remember how long I sat down there thinking.
About everything.
My dreams which had gone up in smoke took up most of my thought.
It was hard to bring myself down from the dizzying heights I had climbed as I fantasized about the immense knowledge I was going to have.
Then it occurred to me, that I could still be smart, maybe not as smart as I would have been with red mercury, but smarter than I was at the time.
After all quicksilver or ordinary mercury was still mercury.
It had to also have some potential to make you incredibly smart.
So I stood up and walked over to the table.
I picked up the cup that had the quicksilver or mercury in it.
Said a short prayer.
And lifted it to my lips.
Just then, the door swung open and light rushed into the room.
I squinted as I looked towards the silhouette that stood in the open doorway.
Panic seizing me at the same time as I shouted.
“Nooo! Shut the door!”
It was my father.
Instead of shutting the door, he reached in and flicked the light switch.
The room came alive.
I stood there, slowly lowering the cup until I placed it back on the table.
He didn’t ask any questions in that moment.
Just a stare, that went from me, to the cups on the table, the saw, the native palm oil lamp, the broken vial, the sawed through metal container and the black cloth, then back to me.
Then he said in a calm voice.
“Follow me.”
I could smell trouble like a foul scenting perfume.
It emanated from him.
He walked out of the room.
And I followed him.
Through the living room that was in front of my room, through the pantry where the large freezers where, through the corridor that had a large window which looked out to the trees in the compound, up the staircase, pass the room where the water heaters were and then into the library.
He looked through the books that lined the shelves and pulled out a large red book.
Encyclopaedia Britannica.
He opened it to a page, walked over to one of the tables in the library beside which the Atari computer sat, and laid it open on it.
Then he turned to me and motioned me over.
All he said to me was simply.
“Sit down and read.”
I sat down and stared at the open page in front of me.
It had at the top right hand corner, in bold the word - MERCURY.
I had seen it before.
Sought it out myself.
But because he had asked me to.
I began to read it again.
In a scheming way.
Fast.
Then I looked up at him.
He said to me again.
“Read it.”
I lowered my gaze and read it again.
When I was done.
I looked up again.
He said again, calmly.
“Read it.”
I read it for the third time but this time slower.
And as I read I began to see things I had seen before but hadn’t really seen.
Elemental and methylmercury are toxic to the central and peripheral nervous systems… The inhalation of mercury vapour can produce harmful effects on the nervous, digestive and immune systems, lungs and kidneys, and may be fatal… The inorganic salts of mercury are corrosive to the skin, eyes and gastrointestinal tract, and may induce kidney toxicity if ingested.
Neurological and behavioural disorders may be observed after inhalation, ingestion or dermal exposure of different mercury compounds… Symptoms include tremors, insomnia, memory loss, neuromuscular effects, headaches and cognitive and motor dysfunction… Mild, subclinical signs of central nervous system toxicity can be seen in workers exposed to an elemental mercury level in the air of 20 μg/m3 or more for several years… Kidney effects have been reported, ranging from increased protein in the urine to kidney failure.
I couldn’t believe it for a moment.
So I read it again.
Then I looked up at him.
And all that came out of my mouth were the words.
“I didn’t know.”
He nodded his head, sat down by my side and said again in his calm way.
“I want you to tell me why you decided to drink it. Please don’t hold anything back. There is a reason why I came into that room at that very moment. God wants this to be a teaching moment for you. He wants to use this to lead you towards that purpose he has destined for you, but then you will not be helping him do that, if you lie or you hold things back. Please be truthful.”
I had expected him to be really mad at me, but he wasn’t. There was just this feeling that all was well and it was okay if I opened up.
The scent of trouble had dissipated.
So I told him about red mercury and my quest for knowledge.
And as I spoke his eyes misted over.
A tear rolled down his cheek.
I didn’t notice it at first because I kept looking down at my knees as I spoke.
But when I looked up and saw it, the words caught in my throat.
I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt wash over me.
And sorrow.
There was silence for a moment and it was shattered by the sobs that rushed out from somewhere deep in me.
It shook me.
Every nerve and every cell.
My father reached out and pulled me to him in a deep hug.
And as I cried and he cried.
He started speaking to me.
“Jude, do you know how much your mother, your brothers, your sisters and I love you?”
I couldn’t answer as the sobs shook me over and over again.
He continued.
“You already have what you are looking for. Remember the Tree of Knowledge in the garden of Eden? Remember what it did to Adam and Eve? That is what happens when you chase knowledge without understanding the power, purpose and the seduction of knowledge. Experiments are not a game, you cannot use yourself as a guinea pig. There is a reason why people go to university to learn and study. Please don’t do this to yourself and to us. I am always here for you to run your ideas by. A sounding board. I will not judge you. I will simply advise you as a and lead you away from danger as a father should. Even King Solomon had advisers.”
And when we separated.
And he was even calmer.
He said to me.
“Do you think your mother will want to know about what you were about to do?”
I shook my head.
“Neither do I. I know you have told me the truth and that you weren’t planning to take your life because of something you have not disclosed, am I right?”
I nodded.
“So do you promise me that this will never happen again?”
I nodded.
“Say the words.”
“I promise.”
“Do you love yourself?”
“Yes I do.”
“Do you believe you are alive for a reason?”
“Yes I do.”
“And do you want to find out what that reason is?”
“Yes Dad.”
He smiled and patted me on the knee.
“Good. I want you to write an essay for me - I want it in a week - Three thousand words - Why I Want to Be The Most Intelligent Man in the World.”
I wrote that essay.
In 6 days.
A period of digging deep.
Self-reflection.
Honest exploration of desire.
The understanding of delusion.
And the many faces, power and seduction of knowledge.
An enemy and a friend.
That essay saved me from me in so many ways.
I had a father.
Johannesburg.
Jude Idada
January 30, 2019
https://www.zeroclan.tk/2019/01/that-mystical-element-that-held-untold.html?m=0