Poster,I bet u know the truth but you want to start HIDING under the regular story of "I have had weight issues since my childhood " - that's just pitiful - It's not hard to lose weight,just reduce your eating!!! The fact that you opened this thread shows that you still dont want to deal with it. That's not a bad thing but dont expect to be treated like a beauty queen (This guy just wants his papers which is painfully obvious but then u just want a man)

"I am a very pretty and well endowed lady and I receive compliments all the time, but all my fiance says is that am FAT! " - Why cant these guys giving you compliments just be with you so you wont need a guy. BTW, if SIZE 14 at 27 was the new HOT, then you would have had several suitors at your door instead of dating someone you barely know.

THERE ARE ONLY 2 CHOICES - U EITHER LOSE WEIGHT OR YOU DROP THIS GUY LIKE A BAD HABIT. U cant eat your cake and have it!!!

As much as you might want to grab an opportunity for marriage, please be cautious about it.

my opinion:

You are a nigerian with tradition, so dont be tongue tied : Speak to your parents and inturn they will discuss with him and possibly his parents too. I know the reason why i am saying these because when the chips are down, the ball will eventually fall in their court,so why keep a life changing event like the one unfolding  from them?.

Meannwhile you can call for a postponment to allow you sort out the differences between you both, except these issues are cleared or sorted out please dont put yourself in perpetual bondage.

I know of guys who will do anything to marry a fat lady like you, if you have not met the lucky man, PLEASE WAIT.

Its not food wherein you manage what  you have.

What is worth doing at all, is worth doing well.

God knows best and he will guide you in taking the best of decisions.

It's obvious that ur fiance doesn't appreciate u the way u are

what if after ur wedding u add up ? will u kill urself in the name of trying to  loose weight  

U know what to do    

@POSTER,

I am happy you said the truth about yourself being appreciated by people but let me tell you some things today, people nowadays comments on look to make other happy and not telling the truth, your man to be is very honest and sincere to you. For the fact that he complained abt your weight, he's only doin you a great favour. Some of these people giving you one advice of the other will never tell you the truth. Just ask yourself this simple question or create a thread on nairaland with this topic: when getting married, who will you prefer; FAT, NORMAL SLIM, TOO SLIM? then you will see responses of some of these people advising you now that he doesn't like or appreciate your look. Do you know that there is tendency for a lady to be FATER after marriage. I can bet it with you, it will get to a stage you yourself will not like your look at all. Take this or leave it, even if you get married to someone that appreciate your FAT look, i can assure you that time will tell when you husband will be runing after beautiful lepa girls. Your man to be like you and he wants the best for you, pls do yourself a great favour now and try to slim to normal. No guy is interested in fatties but they may dciv u and eat your money.

Put urself in your man's shoe and answer this question or any woman in the house can answer it: Can you marry a FAT MAN?

Stop giving this innocent lady a wrong advice. Let her slim down to normal.

For whosoever that will further contribute to this thread, first of all ask yourself this simple question: Can I marry a FAT MAN or a FAT LADY?

Thanks

Why are you on diet if you truly do not want to lose weight, dose he really luv u 4 whom u r??or 4 wat peplle wil say about him, i dont think he luvs u

What matters is love not size

I have this feeling the man is not marrying her for her. (he might want other things from her)
On the other hand , the girl can be true to herself and do some f.uc.king exercise if she has to.
she might have a stomach the size of the O₂ arena and still wants someone to have all that nasty wobble with a smile.
Or nasty humongous bingo wings at 27. (get the dumbells in, ya mug).

The man better be up to scratch( i'm talking near-tyrese) if he's demanding body statistics.
whats he bringing? just a chance of her getting married?

No aspect of this relationship has a decent score

Anyway, if they can't meet in the middle or come to a solid agreement before they marry, they can both
p.i.s.s off.

What do you expect from internet marriage, I believe that the best marriage is getting attracted to the person's physical appearance first before the inner character.

But all the same girl, talk it over with him, perhaps he may change his attidue towards your weight.

Nevertheless, if you cannot cope with his compaliants you better quit because you might end up not loosing weight.

What is all these noise abt being fat or fatter after getting married?Do u think men too dont add weigth after they getting married since the woman will be feeding them very well?
Take a look at Tunde and Wunmi Obe, they still the best couples in town to me anyday.The moment a man begins to complain abt you esp when his friends r yabbing him abt this, then he doesnt truly love you.Afterall the guy didnt really complained the first time they met but only started when his friends were talking.
It is a matter of choice.As for me, i wear big 16 and sometimes big 14(Uk)& 5'7 and my guy is huge and far taller and he loves me for this.He can never stand a lepa girl so anytime lepa passes and am with him,i know there is nothing but when big yash passes i know he will look at it.So it is a matter of choice like i said and so everything depends on combination.
U r just 27 and there are guys that will love u becos of ur physique please.Dont condemn urself or loose that weight for someone that will appreciate it and ask you to add little flesh later.
And how do u know if the guy is not even dating another girl already only to be hammering on the issue that u r fat, u r fat.Please just wake up and move on with like.

I really appreciate everybody's contribution on this topic, but you need to understand that it's very easy to say than to do. I will advice the lady to;

1) Pray & think properly whether she really loves this guy or just wanted to get marry at all cost.

2) Call the guy to ask him whether he really loves her.

3) You need to know the reason why you are getting married, some people don't know the reason why they are getting married, they just listen to what people say and belief it.

4) Don't be misled by the contribution on this forum, the final decision is yours.

5) Before you can conclude pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase! you need to know the mind of this guy, spend some quality time with him, not only to discuss I love you alone, know how he thinks, whether stable or unstable person, ask him some technical questions surprisingly, try to provoke him just to test his emotion. Because if someone is pretending when you behave funny surprisingly the truth will surface.

6) Its good to know where you are going before you embark on a journey.

7) I smile the way some people think when it comes to the issue of making choice of husband and wife. The first time I spoke with a lady regarding friendship that suppose to lead to marriage, I asked myself this question " do you want a wife or girl friend"? Most people failed to think about the coming generation i.e. how you want your kids to look like, that's why you will see a tiny guy with a tiny lady.

In conclusion final decision is yours. God Bless U.

collinsfbi:

@POSTER,

I am happy you said the truth about yourself being appreciated by people but let me tell you some things today, people nowadays comments on look to make other happy and not telling the truth, your man to be is very honest and sincere to you. For the fact that he complained abt your weight, he's only doin you a great favour. Some of these people giving you one advice of the other will never tell you the truth. Just ask yourself this simple question or create a thread on nairaland with this topic: when getting married, who will you prefer; FAT, NORMAL SLIM, TOO SLIM? then you will see responses of some of these people advising you now that he doesn't like or appreciate your look. Do you know that there is tendency for a lady to be FATER after marriage. I can bet it with you, it will get to a stage you yourself will not like your look at all. Take this or leave it, even if you get married to someone that appreciate your FAT look, i can assure you that time will tell when you husband will be runing after beautiful lepa girls. Your man to be like you and he wants the best for you, pls do yourself a great favour now and try to slim to normal. No guy is interested in fatties but they may dciv u and eat your money.

Put urself in your man's shoe and answer this question or any woman in the house can answer it: Can you marry a FAT MAN?

Stop giving this innocent lady a wrong advice. Let her slim down to normal.

For whosoever that will further contribute to this thread, first of all ask yourself this simple question: Can I marry a FAT MAN or a FAT LADY?

Thanks

beat me to it,some of my lady friends(Orobo)say to each other on FB,you are cute,baby you are looking nice and these ladies are in their 30s and no man to show for it,and in here someone is telling the poster to straight up and face the facts in front and she comes to NL to hear people saying,baby you are cute.No man,I say again,No Man will marry an Orobo and be happy.How you wan handle the thing?after all everybody around is a business person,his or her loyalty depends on that.

Fantababy,
My honest advice to you is to leave this guy alone for your own sake. I am married and I can tell you that marriage is very difficult and you do not want to add the pressure of looks to your wahala. So if he thinks u are fat now what will he say when you are pregnant? I believe a size 12 is a beautiful size and if u are happy with urself he shd be happy with u. I was a US 6 when i got married and got to a 12 when i was pregnant I'm stuck at 10 and not once has my husband complained ( ok to be honest he complained when i jumped into his arms ,lol!). But the truth of the matter is that u do not need this guy and if he truly loves u he will tell his friends that he doesnt care how old u look, that he loves u and will love u forever. I think he wants to use u for whatever his intentions are and then chase small small girls around abi? Just my 2 pence.

nigboy:

What matters is love not size

there is nothing like love,that mirage fades with time,you withstand the storm when it comes with what you physically have(Kids,House,Money,Friends,etc and your total dependent on GOD.

I was into this situation some years back , there was this FAT girl i know online and got her pics , I really loved this girl and she loved me too but i have an issue with her weight , I suggest she lose weight but she took that word against me then and the relationship stopped , However few years later she got married, the guy left her and now her weight is really giving her problem , she visits doctor almost everyday and now forced to lose weight.

Poster , I think you should appreciate the guy that he tells you the problem he has with you, he is open minded. I am very sure he wants you to lose weight as to make you good, presentable every time and to be able to rock everywhere with you . I want to believe he said this to as to be comfortable and faithful to you all the time. He wants to be proactive which i consider to be a good. Also, it seems the poster is not also comfortable with her look and regretted not watching her weight long before.

I think what we NLander should do is to give suggestions on how the poster will look good to her fiance instead of condemning the guy. Remember head cutting is not the solution to headache.

However, I suggest the poster go for weight losing if you wont consider it offensive.

My dear, I've read your post with attention and really feel sad about what you're experiencing, I think a lot of people have told you this, "your fiance as to accept you as you are" if this guy has choosen to be your fiancé so your future husband, I just don't understand why he's so rude with you now. Yes actually I think a woman has to take care of her and especially when she's married, despite the fact our black sister used to neglect a bit themselves when they are in the household meanwhile I don't really blame her because when you manage a house it's everyday marathon.

However, this "weight issue" should'nt not be taked in account if someone loves you, being beautiful physically attries but does not last, others criterias as the patience, understanding, self control and respect should be predominating. My dear sister, you're a woman so you're beautiful and never let someone tells you the contrary. If this guy is too much focused on your weight until risk to break your relationship, now ask you some questions. But if it's only for your medical care just try to take account on it, because your health is important too.

Be brave
Love,

collinsfbi:

@POSTER,

I am happy you said the truth about yourself being appreciated by people but let me tell you some things today, people nowadays comments on look to make other happy and not telling the truth, your man to be is very honest and sincere to you. For the fact that he complained abt your weight, he's only doin you a great favour. Some of these people giving you one advice of the other will never tell you the truth. Just ask yourself this simple question or create a thread on nairaland with this topic: when getting married, who will you prefer; FAT, NORMAL SLIM, TOO SLIM? then you will see responses of some of these people advising you now that he doesn't like or appreciate your look. Do you know that there is tendency for a lady to be FATER after marriage. I can bet it with you, it will get to a stage you yourself will not like your look at all. Take this or leave it, even if you get married to someone that appreciate your FAT look, i can assure you that time will tell when you husband will be runing after beautiful lepa girls. Your man to be like you and he wants the best for you, pls do yourself a great favour now and try to slim to normal. No guy is interested in fatties but they may dciv u and eat your money.

Put urself in your man's shoe and answer this question or any woman in the house can answer it: Can you marry a FAT MAN?

Stop giving this innocent lady a wrong advice. Let her slim down to normal.

For whosoever that will further contribute to this thread, first of all ask yourself this simple question: Can I marry a FAT MAN or a FAT LADY?

Thanks

@ collinsfbi
I swear you are the man ,  you hit the nail ,  Poster stop here and act now. You can never get anything better than this !!!! Take it or leave it!!!

The cameroonian Nayah!
How're u doing?

Fatness is gift from God, you can only manage it. but the truth is that, your guy does not really love you, he is after something from you, he would have turn you down the first time you met physiaclly, but using what people say's as an excuse tells you he is not a man. "one man's food is another's man poison" wait for your guy, there are thousands out there looking for big size like you. good luck!

@poster
You are fantababy abi?

A man that loves you will love ALL OF YOU,

We can't make the decision for you, ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT,


GOOD LUCK!

Oh ! What a pathetic experience

My candid advice is that you  should think twice  before going to the alter with this fiance of yours,
it's one thing to get married and another to derive the  much anticipated/expected joy  which  under normal circumstances  should be inherent  in every home.
Marriage should be enjoyed and not endured,your spouse is supposed to be your source of happines,friend,great confidant and comfort  at all times,how do you expect a guy who does not appreciate you  at this early stage of  your  relationship to be there for you in the long run after marriage.
My candid  advice  is that the golden hand-writing is clearly and boldly  written on the wall,the  choice is yours,marriage is "for better and for worse"
Dont be ignorant of the pains,stigma and the  emmotional truama of a divorce .
Be wise and ask  God for guidance  when taking your concious decision.
Good luck girl.

@poster
for the fact that your man wants you to slim down is doing you more good than harm. you are not the only fat person that their men wants them to slim. Slim down period. 9ja men don't like fat ladies.

Just advice urself and get it right.

Poster,

Go to Mauritania, they love FAT WOMEN!

there is a saying that a broken relationship is better than broken marriage!!!!! once there is no peace of mind but complaints here and there why not quit the relationship.A man that you are not comfortable with during courtship, how are you sure that you will be comfortable with him when the marriage have sealed?

Telling a girl she has to lose wieght is like telling someone to quit smoking. They are both bad for your health.

However, I'm a bit concerned about the man's worries. Is he worried that his wife will look older than he is or that she will have health issues as a result of over weight!

Jeez, men can be really dense sometimes! 

@OP

There are many men out there who love big women! There is a man out there who will love you 'just as you are'! This man is not proud of you and I am afraid he will walk out on you the first opportunity that comes his way once he gets whatever it is he wants from you that his making him 'endure' your size for now!

Sweetheart, let him go and marry a slim woman! Lose weight only if YOU are not happy with YOUR size or if your doctor advises you need to do it for medical reasons! Rebuild your confidence and prayerfully seek for that man that is truly yours!

eh phemmy I'm doing well brother and you how come you call me cameroonian first nayah loooool hihihi what about you?

@Ujujoan,
How is the heart breaking exercise?looking good in profile pic.

seyibrown:

@OP

There are many men out there who love big women! There is a man out there who will love you 'just as you are'! This man is not proud of you and I am afraid he will walk out on you the first opportunity that comes his way once he gets whatever it is he wants from you that his making him 'endure' your size for now!

Sweetheart, let him go and marry a slim woman! Lose weight only if YOU are not happy with YOUR size or if your doctor advises you need to do it for medical reasons! Rebuild your confidence and prayerfully seek for that man that is truly yours!

You people can give crappy advice sometimes.
The man may really love the woman, but he may really be physically put off by her weight. Is it so bad to tactfully encourage her to lose weight? Would he have been on her case about weight if it wasn't humanly possible to lose weight?

At 27, she doesn't have too much time to fast and pray for husband when she has a good prospect right here.

^^^^
Better run away from that man before he ruins your life. He needs you for the citizenship, once he gets it, you no go see am again o   And you for done born like two for am, you go come be single-parent, while he gets the best of both worlds. Run, baby run that guy is a fraud. You can work on your weight/self-esteem issues later but first things first, kick this fake guy to the curb.

Texazzpete hello, so you think this girl should think twice before quiting this guy because of her age?? Now I know a lot of people used to say girls have runing clock but as for me even though some people could been shocked, this is not about time but about having a goo husband. Being married to someone and having children "early" might be good becuase you'll have time to see our children growing, but now in the reality what's the most important being married early and be unhappy or take a bit more time to meet someone who share your values and doesn't see only your physical pedigree? For me I have already my respond.

some fools  here are immature and childish by saying that "no man will marry an orobo"
personally,i'm into orobo. .does it mean u guys r better than me.

we all have our own attractions and no one should be judged by who they are or who they are attracted to. .it's just a personal preference. .plain and simple.