i need you to advice me on what to tell my co-worker.he told me that his wife confessed to him that she slept with her former boyfriend when we were on an inspection trip to another state.she also confessed that she was remoted and not intentional.i actually told him about you guys hoping to return a good advice to him at the end of the day.

Since she is bold to confess,probably it was a mistake they should go for pregnancy test may be she is pregnant for the man and does not know how to tell the hubby.

The man should just find heart to forgive, if she no tell am nko.

Girls i mean Ladies i mean women can be so crazy at times

What will his options if he decides not to forgive? Are there kids involved, will he lose anything if he loses her. I don't accept that charmed story, she will be charmed many more times in future.

Why was she confessing at that point in time? could it be that she found out that she is pregnant for the former boyfriend? the motives really do matter you know.

Since she confessed, the husband should find a place in his heart to forgive her. I think the guy is trying to blackmail her if she doesn't come back to him, that was why she confessed cos she cannot pay the amont of money involve. In all forgiveness is very paramount here (FORGIVE HER) I just hope she won't do it again.

What if the lady did not urter a word of and often gos back to eat the remnant of the stuff wat would he have done(all would have been good) but since she was not happy on her action, she confessed.

your friend should let it be and draw her more close to himself, she wil neva disappoint him again.

Maybe I am old fashioned but for me that is the end of that marriage.
a woman should know that once she takes that step there should be no going back.
When faced with that temptation she should ask herself if it is worth it ruining her home for some little fun that has a stale taste afterwords.
MY father told me when I was getting married that whatever I do do wrong i could always come home and they would even help me plead with my husband, but not cheating.
Forgiving is not so easy, because he will never forget what happened.
If I were in the ladies shoes, I would leave on my own, because even years later the man may take a drastic decision and justify it with this act.

mutter:

Maybe I am old fashioned but for me that is the end of that marriage.
a woman should know that once she takes that step there should be no going back.
When faced with that temptation she should ask herself if it is worth it ruining her home for some little fun that has a stale taste afterwords.
MY father told me when I was getting married that whatever I do do wrong i could always come home and they would even help me plead with my husband, but not cheating.
Forgiving is not so easy, because he will never forget what happened.
If I were in the ladies shoes, I would leave on my own, because even years later the man may take a drastic decision and justify it with this act.

What?! In one thread, you're telling a woman that's married to a man that cheated on her and hid a child for YEARS to stand by her husband because he needs her. But, when the tables are turned, the woman isn't worthy of that same forgiveness? How about no one take steps outside their marriage and things will be fine? I can't believe a woman in 2010 actually thinks like this; talk about battered-wife syndrome.

In the other thread the man cheated on the woman before the marriage. So I don`t think it is the same thing.
Besides, it may be a hard pill to swallow, but this is the reality of the world we live in even today, especially as Nigerians.
You may wish to kick against it but it is the reality.
As a woman you stand at a disadvantage to the man.
The reality it is a mans world. Men are still polygamous. A man at 40 or even 60 with kids has no problems finding another wife, for a woman it is different.
What does this have to do with wife battery?

It goes both ways. I know at least one NIgerian couple were the wife cheated. The manis even a pastor and they definitely stayed together. You will be suprised. Some real born again christian men will not end their marriage because of cheating

@ Mutter

Seriously you should try to pause for a while and consider what you want to say . . . before you say them!

A woman that cheated and felt guilty enough to confess knowing it could end her marriage is irresponsible (at least you implied that) ? So woman are above making mistakes? I mean men are polygamous and are free to cheat cos they can always get other wives; but women are not that lucky?

Seriously, I think you are taking this men's world thing too far. If a man decided to forgive a woman who cheated on him, I think he can find a way to deal with that!

@ Poster

I can only say to you that your friend has two options. To leave or to stay! If he feels he can't deal with it, then he's free to walk. I can't imagine cheating on my hubby but if I do, I'll never tell. But that's because I won't want to put him in this position.

But that lady took the risk and courage to tell . . that should count for something.

For the rest of the marriage / relationship, they will always have issues with trust and the man will always view whatever the lady does with suspicion, even when she is innocent. And nobody wants to be in a situation like that.

The only thing you can tell him- is walk away. Despite the fact that he maybe able to forgive, the lack of trust in the relationship is still present and will for ever be, and that will never be giving back!! Tell him to walk away while he can!!

Ujujoan,
i do not have to pause to consider because years of experience have had their impact.
I did not imply the woman was irresponsible. I am not in the position to throw any stone.
Fact is, when a woman takes that step she should know there is no going back and ask herself if it is worth it.
Do you want to deny that it`s a mans world.
Women are like flowers that wither so fast the biological lock ticks fast.
Better make hey while the sun shines and you are in full bloom. Find a man to love and cherish you, so that he will find every new wrinkle to be a sign of happy years spent together.
At age 45 a woman cannot easily start a family for a man it is no problem at all.
This is the reality of life.

confession is the end of that marital bliss. Confessiong is a sign of honesty and repentance but what happens to the rest of the marriage

Don't subscribe to that remote control ish. If the husband can forgive, he should forgive and pray he's able to forget.