....So in my pursuit of finding a suitable spouse, note that I'm not desperate but extremely and really careful not to end up with the wrong man reason why I'm a bit picky.
My ex would have been perfect but life got in the way... Okay enough of that

Recently, I got introduced to this young good looking comfortable guy by a friend of mine. I met with this guy and to him, he has found his wife lol my friend gave him good recommendations about me so.... lol . Anyways, these are the red flags after spending just few minutes getting to know him in his car:

1. He has part of his hair dyed - gold (side front line)

2. I think he drinks, though I have not asked him but he was comfortable waiting for me in a bar which I refused to meet up with him there.

3. He told me about his previous relationship and how he was supposed to be married late last year, done introduction but due to a slight argument his fiancee left and even aborted her pregnancy for him

According to him, he is glad she left as he could have ended up with a murderer but going back to my room, I asked my self... What on earth could have prompted his ex to go all the way to terminate the pregnancy of a man she was about to marry? What kind of deep situation could have led to such horrible thing?

This got me a bit scared, or am I just overreacting for nothing?

It's a red flag!

Hope you guys have fūcked tho?

J

HopeLoveLife:
....So in my pursuit of finding a suitable spouse, note that I'm not desperate but extremely and really careful not to end up with the wrong man reason why I'm a bit picky.
My ex would have been perfect but life got in the way... Okay enough of that

Recently, I got introduced to this young good looking comfortable guy by a friend of mine. I met with this guy and to him, he has found his wife lol my friend gave him good recommendations about me so.... lol . Anyways, these are the red flags after spending just few minutes getting to know him in his car:

1. He has part of his hair dyed - gold (side front line)

2. I think he drinks, though I have not asked him but he was comfortable waiting for me in a bar which I refused to meet up with him there.

3. He told me about his previous relationship and how he was supposed to be married late last year, done introduction but due to a slight argument his fiancee left and even aborted her pregnancy for him

According to him, he is glad she left as he could have ended up with a murderer but going back to my room, I asked my self... What on earth could have prompted his ex to go all the way to terminate the pregnancy of a man she was about to marry? What kind of deep situation could have led to such horrible thing?

This got me a bit scared, or am I just overreacting for nothing?

my advice is to do some digging, ask his ex some questions, find out his relationships and friendship history.

Nothing is wrong with drinking but does he drink excessively? Have people told him to stop drinking before and does he get angry when they do so? Does he get drunk often? Does he do it first thing in the morning?

What are his values? If his hair is dyed gold, does he always dress flamboyantly or brightly? Is he easily irritable and hyperactive? Does he seem too much in your/ other peoples business(intrusive)? Is he capableof remorse and change? Get to know him more and find out.

Seeing as this is your first impression keep it in mind. But still treat him well with respect and emotion.

HopeLoveLife:

This got me a bit scared, or am I just overreacting for nothing?

You're simply making assumptions upandan.

Calm down. Get to know this guy well and see if there's any possibility of settling down with him. And most importantly, be mindful of the fact that there's no angel out there.

So yes, you're overreacting and getting unnecessarily nervous.

Why not date/know him for like a month before you start passing judgment

CreepyBlackpool:
Why not date/know him for like a month before you start passing judgment

Good point.

CreepyBlackpool:
Why not date/know him for like a month before you start passing judgment

Okay, I'll try to get to know him first... Thank you...

Splinz:


You're simply making assumptions upandan.

Calm down. Get to know this guy well and see if there's any possibility of settling down with him. And most importantly, be mindful of the fact that there's no angel out there.

So yes, you're overreacting and getting unnecessarily nervous.

Thank you for this

funmisticqueen:
my advice is to do some digging, ask his ex some questions, find out his relationships and friendship history.

Nothing is wrong with drinking but does he drink excessively? Have people told him to stop drinking before and does he get angry when they do so? Does he get drunk often? Does he do it first thing in the morning?

What are his values? If his hair is dyed gold, does he always dress flamboyantly or brightly? Is he easily irritable and hyperactive? Does he seem too much in your/ other peoples business(intrusive)? Is he capableof remorse and change? Get to know him more and find out.

Seeing as this is your first impression keep it in mind. But still treat him well with respect and emotion.

You are absolutely right... I need answers to the following and I'll only get these answers once I get to know him better.
Thank you so much.