@ Jennykadry, i support you girl, as " head of the house" a man needs to earn and spend "head of the house money", lol For real though no matter how much a woman makes, it nice to have your man take care of you and it dosen't even have to be too expensive. A woman should always contribute but she should never become the sole bread winner except under special circumstance s like if the husband losses his job. Even then, if a man losses his job he shouldn't sit at home waiting for Madam to bring the bacon, i would rather we use our savings for him to start a business so he can be a proper head and not just head of the house by mouth only.

Gbam!

She didn't say anything new. However, black women should not beg MOBO44 to marry them when they start to approach the limit of their biological clock . .

Tudór:

Really?? If you can do that if sh.i.t happens after marriage, why not before??

What is the difference??

why not before ? Cos he is completely comfy financially and needs nothing from me, what I was told is the money i mak should be my pocket money, Why not before again? Cos he chooses to play and act the man that he is,and I ain't objecting

nothing new, nothing wrong.

I believe that a man should be able to support his girl but this girl is all sorts of extra with her demands. She's going to find herself 40 and alone if she doesn't stop with the 'Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!' attitude. And isn't the same one saying she's becoming celibate until marriage? Good luck with that one, hun. She really has nothing to offer it seems, yet is demanding the world on a golden platter. How old is she?

jennykadry:

why not before ? Cos he is completely comfy financially and needs nothing from me, what I was told is the money i mak should be my pocket money, Why not before again? Cos he chooses to play and act the man that he is,and I ain't objecting

Wrong answer. You misunderstand my question.

Uche Iwja claims she can never date a man without money, you agreed with her but later claim if your husband suddenly becomes without money you would support him, not so?

Question is why can't you do same before marriage?? You meet a man without money cant you
support him and "let him feel the man that he is in a positive way" If you can't then what is the diffference?

The difference is I 'd rather make a man who has sworn to be mine till death do us part, I'd rather help a man who if he decides to leave me today, would have to go through some legal door before he gets me out of his life,and thats a husband, not a "boyfriend" who might decide to leave me tomorrow and if he does needs no permission , needs to sign no document but could walk out freely without any attachment or bond.

Back to uche iwuji, yes I agree to the fact that I cannot and never did anyways date a man who has no money not to talk of marry , when I mean money, i aint talking about oprahs or bill gates type of money, but someone who has some sort of income coming into his pocket, someone that could feed me my three square meals if i havent got a job, someone that will take care of me with the little he's got if I am on unpaid maternity leave, someone that would go out everyday and struggle with what hes got , come back home  and take care of his family, an average income earner who can afford to buy me a gold/silver/diamond engagement and wedding ring even if it is 0.5ct instead of the "grease after two days will wash away plated iron" the aba boys make

Someone that has sthg doing so that if someone falls the other person can lift the other partner up

jennykadry:

The difference is I 'd rather make a man who has sworn to be mine till death do us part, I'd rather help a man who if he decides to leave me today, would have to go through some legal door before he gets me out of his life,and thats a husband, not a "boyfriend" who might decide to leave me tomorrow and if he does needs no permission , needs to sign no document but could walk out freely without any attachment or bond.

this holds no water. You can easily enter into a contractual business agreement with a boyfriend cant you?

Back to uche iwuji, yes I agree to the fact that I cannot and never did anyways date a man who has no money not to talk of marry , when I mean money, i aint talking about oprahs or bill gates type of money, but someone who has some sort of income coming into his pocket, someone that could feed me my three square meals if i havent got a job, someone that will take care of me with the little he's got if I am on unpaid maternity leave, someone that would go out everyday and struggle with what hes got , come back home  and take care of his family, an average income earner who can afford to buy me a gold/silver/diamond engagement and wedding ring even if it is 0.5ct instead of the "grease after two days will wash away plated iron" the aba boys make

Someone that has sthg doing so that if someone falls the other person can lift the other partner up

The fact remains that there are men who are poor not just because they are lazy or "made in aba" but due to some circumstances beyond their control. That they might have the qualities of a good husband are good human beings but you rule them out because they have "no money" just shows you to be shallow minded and superficial at best especially when your excuse is as flimpsy as "no legal loops for him to jump".

Tudór:

this holds no water. You can easily enter into a contractual business agreement with a boyfriend cant you?

Boyfriend you say? But not husband, get those two right. I would rather do things for a man that made me a "MRS" than a "MISS"

Tudór:

The fact remains that there are men who are poor not just because they are lazy or "made in aba" but due to some circumstances beyond their control. That they might have the qualities of a good husband are good human beings but you rule them out because they have "no money" just shows you to be shallow minded and superficial at best especially when your excuse is as flimpsy as "no legal loops for him to jump".

And have a man tell me during a heated argument that I bought him with my money? thank you. Call me shallow minded who cares? I dont regret nothing.

Why?Mind you Money is not everything

Actually, nowadays I think we have to be coherent with ourselves, we want equality so yes we have to support this in all ways, I mean I don"t need my man or expecting him to give me money, if he wants to I don't really have to ask him. A man should give by heart and not because something was pre established by a any form of society and culture. In Africa a lot of our sisters used to think men HAVE TO take care of them and it's true technically, but what do we mean by taking care of someone, that's the issue

As for me giving me love, joy, attention is more than giving me money or paying me my hair cut and all staff, if I want something I pay it because I don't know how to demand and a woman should not demand but deserve, and guys have to know how to give pleasure to their women without expecting them to ask for. Now, if my husband or fiancé can afford I'll be honest that would be great but I don't have this habit to demand or waiting something from him, and I think a lot of our brother would espect us more if we are able to be more independent (finanacially) and less demanding. this is my opinion, not an absolute truth.

in africa women dont USED TO THINK MEN SHULD TAKE CARE OF US, we still think n nt used to.

actually nayar you need to get married first before u understand married life, a woman does nt demand but gets it simply cos her hubby is giving it to her frm his hrt, when i wanted a car i told him i wanted to buy a car,d dude refused nd i begged for months cos mine was already terrible looking, i was subjected to going by train or bus,i even stole his car keys alot of times to get myself to work,lol,nothing was stopping me frm getting me a cheap car but he just refused wtout a good reason,after a few mnths he got me one as a surprise.

my husband can tell me 'baby lets go make your hair,if he drives me to hairdresser might decide to pay for it b4 he leaves,wat will u tell him 'oh pls keep your money,i can afford it'

Yes it is africa nd not white, nd believe it or nt a lot of them african men feel very happy when their wives come to them and ask for a chewing gum, they knw their wives can afford it but also feel the pride in it when they say 'baby take this, go treat yourself'

I could put on a lovely jewellery today dat costs a million dollars bought by me,if pple admire it, i'd just simply say i bought it,but i could also put on a 20 dollar ear ring my hubby bought for me n if the same pple admire it 'God knows dat i could scream my hubby bought it for me a million times' but there is this joy that accompanys the 'my husband' word,i appreciate more the things my hubby bought for me than d one i bought myself ,that word 'my husband' comes wt so much love ,pride,security n happiness u could ever imagine. All these all come under the joy ,attentn n happiness u r talking about

Yes it is african nd culture,i was born nd still is an african,living outside the african continent will never stop me from being african,i dont do the westernized world cos i am  nt western or a white,i am an african,i am proud of my roots n heritage and i am going to continue doing africa.

My dear you're right for one point: pI'm not married but I'm sorry I disagree with your comment. It's not about white or black it's about single thought of everyine. I'm also an African and even though Iwas born away from my homeland, I'm still one, but actually a lot of African males nowadays appreciate an independent woman, I mean a girl who shows she's not demanding too much, with all due respect and non offense but I know some of African males who complain about the fact girls are materialistic, and spend too much or are too much demanding. Life nowadays it's very difficult and expensive so as for me If I can allege my man by affording a gfit by myself why not? But you can understand than this kind of statement like our sister Uche can shock or offense, then some people will confirm with that Africans are materailistic, even though they're not the only girls who like money.

I repeat ig a guy wants to buy me something I' be very glad and flattered and that would worth more in my eyes as if I would asked him I don't know if you get it. You can be an African and not be too demanding, it's not westerner it's about personal mentality, and let me remaind you that if it's "our culture" to ask for jewels or any other gift it was because in our culteure Afrcian women were not used to work, now there are more and more so logically, role will change or are changing.

you dont even get my point,i am nt talking abt dating here but marriage,i am nt talking abt african men saying their african gurlfriends r demanding n materialistic ,my post on this thread haas been on marriage.

going to my hubby once in a while nd taking 5 dollars lunch money does nt make me less independent,wat is his is mine vice versa, same way my hubby could go to ATM wt my card nd withdraw money,this is marriage nt dating.

You have been far frm home nd dont understand home,men born in africa still av dat mentality even though they live abroad, there was a time my hubby couldnt keep up wt my stuffs nd started asking when i bought them,wat i started doing was go to him smtimes nd tell him there is dis 10 dolls shoe i want him to buy for me,so whenever he asks his qstions again,i just remind him dat he bought it for me,i didnt want him to feel i was competing wt him ,i wanted him to feel man as well, wen i moved into his house nt kidding or trying to flatter myself ,the things i bought myself during my singlehood wit my pocket money was so much dat his sisters were like 'jenny even if u dnt buy anything for yrs u wont lose anything' he knew when we met though i was very young then dat i liked taking care of myself,,my parents r nt super wealthy but they brought us up wt d mentality dat we didnt have to date men for money, i was a shopaholic until my mum called me one day nd tld me to go to my huuby once in a while nd ask him for things else he is going to feel i just married him for d sake of being called a mrs, nd seriously my hubby even got angry one day when i just go out to get myself important things wtout taking a dime from him,my mums advice came handy nd i started going to him smtimes for stuffs nd peace returned.

I knw african men even d whites knw,heidi klum makes good money but it does nt stop seal from pampering her silly


This is marriage nt bf nd gf thing

Jenny I do get your point, and I do know our brothers too and I'm still with my statement about marriage, a lot of african brothers say sometimes we spend too much money sometimes on useless things, and some are even afraid because they know some women will be too much demanding. Now I'm not saying, it's not good for a guy to give presents to his wife, but we african women should avoid this kind of statement "I don't date someone who does not have money" are they not people also?

it all depends on d motive behind it

I myself wouldnt date a man that has no source of income coming ino his pocket,yes money,u knw why ?i will tell u, a man must be able to afford me an engagement nd wedding ring wtout me contributing a dime,i am nt going to allow a man propose to me and then use my own money to buy me a ring, second off sh1t happens nayar any one of them could lose their life investment after marriage in a twinkle of an eye,what happens then?they take their kids to live under d bridge wt them,hawk on d streets nd stuffs?nope,both should av some income coming in,by so doing if one partner falls d other can bring him/her up.

So if i say i wont date a man wtout money will i be called a golddigger?yes apparently but my reasons r genuine enuff nd dats all dat matters

I'm not talking about dating a homeless but you can evolve with your husband in life bringing your capital as well, you're not obliged to expect too much from your husband, yes he has to be responsible, ambitious(not necessarily bill gates) hard working and perseverant that's what it's a husband for me. You can work hard and try to be rich but it's difficult so is he supposed to be alone for that? do no think so anyway I respect your point but I definetely disagree with Uche's statement that could offense.

Is the girl in question paralysed or doesnt have a brain of her own?

Why do you need another human being to take care of you

dayo will always be on threads like these, fighting for men's salary

Ileke-IdI:

always fighting for men's salary

dayokanu you're a african male but you seem to have the same opinion as I have,

lol dayo has d same opinion as u based on d singles area

Dayo will nt tell me dat he wouldnt pamper his wife once in a while even if shes d independent one

hello jenny, don't be so sure a lot of men think like him, I would even say more and more actually

hello lovey

do u love been pampered?

Any man dat isnt ready to pamper his wife wen he can ,needs some spanking. A dude must nt b a millionaire to pamper his wife

heyyyyy sister jenny who doesn't yes I do love been pampered but I don't want a guy think I can do things by myself adn always waiting for him to pamper me, I don"t know if you get me ssiter, I didn't tell I don't want any gift or attention from my husband hell no but I can put money on the foreground, because Love is not about money first but feelings and comfort, now if you have both then you're lucky, but me I 'm searching for a man who loves me first of all.

Nayah:

heyyyyy sister jenny who doesn't yes I do love been pampered but I don't want a guy think I can do things by myself adn always waiting for him to pamper me, I don"t know if you get me ssiter, I didn't tell I don't want any gift or attention from my husband hell no but I can put money on the foreground, because Love is not about money first but feelings and comfort, now if you have both then you're lucky, but me I 'm searching for a man who loves me first of all.

You will find that "him"

Amen!!! sister jen!!

what this babe is trying to say is dat there is no love without finance.let her suit herself.

sexy back this her own opinion

jennykadry:

lol dayo has d same opinion as u based on d singles area

Dayo will nt tell me dat he wouldnt pamper his wife once in a while even if shes d independent one

Pampering a wife is something you do willingly.

Not a wife making demands for it, A good wife would always get what she deserves not This braindead female whose only asset is a pussy called Uche EWUji, Hope she knows what Ewu means in Igbo

Lol dayo u seem to have forgotten that a man can neglect a good wife at some point due to workload or some unfinished business he is handling, A woman inturn can demand for it out of anger cos she isnt getting the attention she wants, it doesnt make her less good