Of recent I've discovered that my anger is getting the best of me. I get angry at things that are not worth it.

I've worked on it before and I overcame it for a while but lately, it's coming back. An incident happened on Friday that's been playing on my mind on how I could have handled it better.

Nice suggestions please.

We only keep quiet a d walk away from scenes

We only keep quiet and walk away from scenes

smile

Just keep quiet and walk away. I'm one of the most attacked fellas on nairaland, especially by some youths who support a particular party. They call me all manners of names sef, even insult me, but in my responses, you'd never see a trace of insults. I either walk away or I remain neutral and courteous. Insults wont leave a patch on your skin. The way you react to anger and insults determines how charismatic you are. Knowing how to manage them is an attribute of a good leader

the ones that have temper should come and advice

btw why do you let things get to you?

This is how I did mine. Used to be very angry, discovering these scriptures through being taught in Church helped me;


Ecclesiastes 7 King James Version (KJV)

9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools



Ephesians 4 King James Version (KJV

22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;

23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;

24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.

26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:

27 Neither give place to the devil.

28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.

29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.


The old man which gets angry, lusts, steals has been crucified. But it is you that will put it off.
Meditation on these scriptures will help you.
Now I control my self very well.

A wise man once said: Do not say or do anything when you are angry because you might live to regret it later..

Take a deep breath, count backwards from 15 then tell your self - it's not worth it.

Moreover, whoever makes you angry has control over your emotions. You actually handed over power to them to ride on your state of mind. Now ask yourself, are they worth such authority?

I will advise you take it to the Lord in prayer. Tell Him to help you work on your temperament, and like people also suggested above, leave the scene temporary when you're provoked. If you love music, that could also help.

smoke weed. also for people with anxiety.

handsomebanana:
Of recent I've discovered that my anger is getting the best of me. I get angry at things that are not worth it.

I've worked on it before and I overcame it for a while but lately, it's coming back. An incident happened on Friday that's been playing on my mind on how I could have handled it better.

Nice suggestions please.

Then you never truly worked on it.
Anger is an emotion one must rein in at ALL times, not some times but at ALL times. You don't try to eliminate it, that is impossible. You can only manage/control it.

Arthur Schopenhauer once said, "...To speak angrily to a person, to show your hatred by what you say or by the way you look, is an unnecessary proceeding - dangerous, foolish, ridiculous, and vulgar..."


There's a story of a Japanese judge, Itakura Suwo-no-kami Shigemune, who was very fond of Cha-no-yu (the tea ceremony). He is most famous for his habit of grinding his own tea while sitting in the court as judge. And the reason was this.
He once asked a friend of his named Eiki to tell him frankly what was the public opinion about him. His friend told him people say he gets irritated too easily and subsequently gets angry to the point he begins scolding people who have brought their cases for him to judge. People therefore avoided bringing lawsuits before him, and even if they did, the truth does not come out.

Shigemune thanked his friend and agreed that in fact he had noticed too that he spoke too angrily and sharply, and that in fact he will see to it that it does not occur in the future.
He loved tea and loved it even more if he grinds it himself. So after this, he had a small tea mill placed before him in court and in front of it the paper-covered shoji was drawn so no one could see, and Shigemune would sit behind them and grind his tea to keep his mind calm while he heard the cases.
It is said that he could tell whether his composure was ruffled or not by looking at the tea, which would not fall evenly to the ground with the proper smoothness if he got too irritated.


You may think it's just a story, but it's from anecdotes like this we come to hear terms like 'the calming effect' in anger therapy.
The logic is simple. You must figure out your calming effect. Something that makes your nerves the most relaxed and your emotional vibrations the most peaceful. It could be anything - a physical thing, as with a Itakura Shigemune, or a memory you can draw on.

If you have none of those, no worries, therapists are known to suggest you create the calming effect by choosing a 'gesture' you can focus on to distract you from whoever or whatever is about to anger you.
Some people crack their knuckles continuously, some might walk around with something chewable and pop it in once they start to get tense (the idea here is they won't have to talk if their mouth is busy chewing, lol).

Even Queen Elizabeth II is known to drop her handbag or switch it from hand to hand when she's getting bored, irritated, or tired of a conversation. And if doing that will be too obvious, some say she starts to play with/rotate the wedding ring on her finger...once her helpers and attendants see this, they know it's time to save the Queen.

Cheers...

Thanks for your help. I appreciate