*gives a standing ovation to jokingmary*

Efemena_xy:

you mean your credit don finish abi??

If its finished then u're in trouble cause there would be none to sell to u

Ur kilin me alredy.ur jokes r rib crackin, u've gat skills dawg, lfmao

Debayurr:

your kilin me alredy.your jokes r rib crackin, u've gat skills dawg, lfmao

Thanks man

^^ jm happy sunday

same to u my brother
U be better person

Why u insult me now?

Ok, sorry I forget say u no be better person

Point of correction i am a bestest person not a better person. 4 goodness sake i was taught good , gulder , goodest and better, best, bestest in school . Abi u no go school?

I forgoted u are not even betterest but bestest person

Now u're talking. Btw I'm waiting 4 more of those 9ice jokes of urs

^is dat a joke?

A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side.

She is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The fireman says "Hey little girl. What are you doing?" The little girl says "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"


The fireman walks over to take a closer look. "Little girl that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says. "Thanks mister", says the little girl. The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little
girl has tied the dog to the wagon by it's testicles.

"Little girl", says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster."

The little girl says, "You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!"

Not so 9ice. What about another try

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course", comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland", replies the second man.

The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Lets have another round to Ireland."

"Of course", replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Wherein Ireland are you from?"

"Dublin", comes the reply.

"I can't believe it", says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."

"Of course", replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"

"Saint Mary's", replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.

"What's been going on?", he asks the bartender.

"Nothing much", replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

1   Brian Wilson, my assistant tax accountant, can always be found
2   hard at work in his cubicle.  Brian works independently, without
3   wasting company time talking to colleagues.  Brian never
4   thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
5   finishes given assignments on time.  Often he takes extended
6   measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7   breaks.  Brian is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8   vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9   knowledge in his field.  I firmly believe that Brian can be
10  classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
11  dispensed with.  Consequently, I duly recommend that Brian be
12  promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13  executed as soon as possible.

Addendum:

That idio*t  was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the
report sent to you earlier today.  Kindly re-read only the odd lines.

O'malley twins

RELATIONSHIPS
One of my friends always prided himself in landing such a cool job, and a beautiful, Agbani babe in the same month. On this year's Valentine's Day, he went over to the flat he had gotten and furnished for her, to take her out to Taipan for dinner. While she was in the shower, the Razr phone he had bought for her weeks before began ringing, and he picked the phone to see the Caller ID.
He chuckled to himself when he saw 'Mugu No 2'. He shook his head, wondering why all the
guys would never stop disturbing his babe. Seconds later, he picked the phone again, his curiosity picked at what she had saved his number as. He dialed his number and dropped the phone when he saw the caller ID. He picked his jacket and walked out.
She had saved his number as 'Mugu No 19'.

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."

The grandmother was curious.

"What trick is that my dear?" she asked.

The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again."

The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.

One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.

The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"

Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.

After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.

The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad."

When her two teenage daughters returned from school
the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but
then began to laugh about the situation.

Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Keith "

funny lol,

The Warden

A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.

He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?'

The boy replied, 'What turkey?'

The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'

The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!'

The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you.

If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?'

The little boy said, 'I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!'

impressive!!! I luv emthumbs up poster,d name really fit

Thanks