I scribbled in my diary.

Dear Diary,

My name is Zion Rufus. This is my Progressive Thought speech. ‘I am a Queen. I’ll Rule and Reign. Like the Phoenix I’ll rise out of the ashes, I’ve got my own back. I will soar, I will……

My fat booty friend distracted me. “I swear I’m hungry” Lola said, as she fixed the loose button on her jeans.

“Aren’t you always hungry madam” I replied. Terribly cranky and uncomfortable, I wanted the class to be over. Mary was waiting for me outside the block. I texted her so she’d know I was very much aware that she was still outside.

“Mrs. Joy-Rita will seize your phone, Becca” Lola pointed. She opened her bag and picked another eclairs. I shook my head.

“Bitch if you keep up with your chocolate-eating habit, you’d end up looking like Winnie.” I whispered. She picked another. ‘Dumbass’ I thought.

“Who is Winnie?” She asked, licking smears off the chocolate wrapper.

“I wonder what sort of childhood you had that you don’t know Winnie the Pooh” I scorned.

“Louisa why are you half naked?” The lecturer asked one of the few sane students in my class. Sadly, most of the students were completely ‘out of the box’. She wasn’t even ‘half naked’. In fact, she wasn’t in anyway naked. She had on a sleeveless top but Mrs. Joy-Rita tagged sleeveless outfits as ‘unacceptable’. Still, my concern was how to leave the class.

I sent another text to Mary. Detailing my predicament, and reminding her to call Lex.

After what seemed like a century and half, the class ended. My joy knew no bounds.

“Lola stop eating chocolates!” I yelled playfully. She pulled my hair back and ruffled my top. “You didn’t wear bra to school again, you this bad child” She fired at me. “I dey wear before?” I joked as we left the class.

Outside Mary was obviously restless as she stood by the gate of the department.

“Babes I’m so sorry” I apologized.

“Why did your class take so long?” Mary asked, she answered her phone “We are at the second gate… yea that Mass comm second gate…. towards CITS…. yea! Exactly. We’d wait outside” She said to the caller and hung up. “Lex?” I asked to be sure.

“Yea it’s Lex. She should be here any minute”. She opened her purse and handed me a bottle of perfume oil. “Awwwwww thanks” I said. Don’t mind the ‘awwwwww’, it wasn’t free of charge. Mary had just added the perfume line to the list of things she already had in place. Lex joined us, panting. I’d pant too if I had to trek down to Mass comm all the way from Sociology.

“Errrrr forgot to mention yesterday, Mr Bami called”. I watched their eyes light up with excitement.

“What did he say? How is he?” Mary couldn’t hide her joy. Lex was calm. Ever calm. Even in terrible situations.

“He confirmed we could use the house” I explained. Mary did a little dramatic dance. I could relate to her joy. Lex smiled too, obviously happy. “I haven’t told Ruthie yet, I’d simply text her. Then you can call Gifty.”

“When should we start packing?” Mary asked, grinning from ear to ear. “We can’t move until weekend”

Lex said calmly “Today is just Monday, we got classes tomorrow and till Thursday sef. Once we get to the house, leaving the island would be too hard and we can’t afford to skip classes….” she further explained.

She was right. All the fun experiences would cause us to forget we were still students. The noon/evening hours’ traffic would hinder us from getting to school on time.

“Weekend is fine. What do you think?” I asked Mary who had just gotten off the phone with Gifty.

“Sure. Gifty even said we should go after classes on Friday” She answered.

“We don’t even have to buy food. He said the chef would take care of it that all we need is to tell them what we want to eat.” I explained. “That’s thrilling” Lex said. “I’d order the blunt pack in advance, we’d pick it on Friday”.

With that we headed to Korede to get spaghetti. “Let’s go to Amina together Becca” Lex pleaded. “Sorry sis, I’m not coming to your hostel” I told her. Laughing.

It had been an awfully long day. I got on the bus, heading home. The girls already left for their hostel. I dreaded staying on campus. ‘That life ain’t meant for me’ I thought to myself. I fixed my ear pods and brought out my phone to drown my emotions with some good music.

Then WhatsApp notifications came to view. I texted Ruthie, explaining in details about our plans for the weekend and asking after her well-being. Moving to the WhatsApp status, I saw Dreadlocks’. Neither the dread nor the locks was there. I felt a knife in my chest.

Nothing could be compared to the heart ache I felt at that moment. Did he see my story and decide to get back at me? Was he sick? Did he just feel like shaving the hair off? I couldn’t even cry.

I texted ‘Why did you cut your hair?’

D.L: ‘Why did you stop answering?’

I was too numb to even type anything. ‘Why?’ Was all my heart could ask,‘Why’?

I wish I had the heart, I’d love him in a different way. But pain stricken, fear gripped, learnt lessons, built fences won’t permit me to ever let my guards down. Never again.

I remembered Ruthie’s words “You can’t be like this forever Becca”.

‘What will be will be’ I brought out my diary and concluded my writing. ‘I’m not forcing anything and I’d never let anyone trample on me or take advantage. I’m a Queen, Queens don’t bow. We rule, we lead, we shine, we triumph, we reign.

‘This is your Progressive Thought speech Becca Z, Rule and Reign’.

Satisfied, I smiled. He let the hair go. I’ll let my fear go. Let’s all rule in our kingdom.