Funny response

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Mine was when I told my dad that my grandma was a witch and that she initiated me into it so I have extraordinary power .My dad believed it and ran away same with my siblings,I said it because then my grandma was very wicked, she beat me and tell my mum awful things about me..I later confessed that it was a lie and that day I saw hell, everyone was beating me that I caused confusion at home.

I have two.
First one. Me and my elder sister woke up one morning and all we were doing was playing Ludo. My mum beat hell out my body that day.
Second one.
I went out one evening to play football.. We played till it was dark. Unknown to me my two uncles were at our house.. I just bounced inside the house like I own the house. My mum just use the opportunity to report me of always coming home late. They concluded I had a girlfriend ... You can imagine the rest of the story. The beating no be Small

When I dey primary school I lied to my friend that I bet barca will beat arsenal in d CL final after barca had won d cup...her sister heard n threaten to report me to my school teacher..as a stubborn boy I no send tot she no get d mind to go report me...to my greatest surprise d next morning for school na so I see d gal for my class...na so I take chop serious beating on top wetin I no do

My dad favorite line was always....my friend u are too playfull...d day u would break dis slidin door en u would wish u died....broke the sliding door mistakenly one day.,
that night paale(wu was in his forties den) chase me round the compound like say i b thief.....honestly i wish i died that nite cos las las....i still see death wey dem dilute small......close to 2 hrs flogging........meeeeeen see catrrh for my nose.....chai....i kan stool down after......that day i saw jesus at the right hand side of God!!!

In JSS2 I followed one of my ajebutter classmates home after school to play PlayStation 1. Their house was a mansion that always has AC on and all the curtains drawn so you can't see outside.

Na so I play game and chop chicken and rice sotay I forget say I get house. Eventually my friend asked me with worry, aren't you going to go home? I asked him the time and he told me it was 7pm. I instantly threw down my remote control, grabbed my bag and ran from VI extension area to 1004 estate. By the time I got home it was close to 8pm.

My parent thought I had been kidnapped. They asked where I was and I lied that there was fuel scarcity and there was no bus to come home. Of course that was a lie.

They tied me to the ground with rope and used iron springs from the sofa to flog the hell out of me. Then they used those same springs to flog the soles of my feet. I thought I was going to die that day. Damn!

.

I sneaked out of secondary school to a party,before i got back to school my younger sister had taken my school bag home and my school uniform was inside. . i had to wear bum shot home trying to sneak in saw my whole family sitting outside...
I couldn't go to school for two weeks. I received the beating that reshaped my destiny. .
Lol

Worst beating ke Na everyday me dy just beating

Creativebae:
I sneaked out of secondary school to a party,before i got back to school my younger sister had taken my school bag home and my school uniform was inside. . i had to wear bum shot home trying to sneak in saw my whole family sitting outside...
I couldn't go to school for two weeks. I received the beating that reshaped my destiny. .
Lol

Lmao

Due to my stubbornes,i got loads of epic beatings from my dad DAT I can't pinpoint which was worse..well,suffice to say all d beatings I got was a hit back to back..

Back then in primary school, we were in this maths class(primary 4) and the person teaching us was known in the school as the most wicked human God created (Both staffs and students can attest to this fact back then) as we were quitely learning in this class LO and Behold NEPA brought light (after one week of total Black out) devil come push my mouth to shout UP NEPA my people till this moment the tattoo that was drawn with coboko 2.2 still dey my body ooooo

ishowdotgmail:
Is only evil parents that will beat their children.... We don't do that over here mehn

You're not from here na

You won the nairaland version of the challenge.

luminouz:
Oh..mine was an April Fool's prank...on my way home from school..I bought eggs,dirtied my clothes, used
bandages from school clinic which I stained with red ink. Some yards to the house,i cracked the eggs ,put them in my mouth and let em dribble down my chin. With a mudafvcked up look on my face,I entered the sitting room and fell down screaming 'mummy'. Unfortunately,mumsy was with a friend and on seeing me they both yelled and came running. I allowed them to yank me up and I opened my EYES and yelled 'April fool' with egg yolk dribbling everywhere. Their reactions were instantaneous and synchronized as if they rehearsed it beforehand. They both dropped me and I never saw the two slaps(mum-forehand,her friend backhand) till they exploded in my face. The slap-fest continued from both women till around after the 10th slap,my mumsy now remembered say I be her pikin and snarled at the other woman saying 'do u think ur beating a goat ni'? And she punctuated it with another slap. I couldn't sleep that night cuz my face looked like I was stung by a 1000 bees. For 3 days after,my brothers dey call me 'puff puff' face!

IkemChris:
Back then in primary school, we were in this maths class(primary 4) and the person teaching us was known in the school as the most wicked human God created (Both staffs and students can attest to this fact back then) as we were quitely learning in this class LO and Behold NEPA brought light (after one week of total Black out) devil come push my mouth to shout UP NEPA my people till this moment the tattoo that was drawn with coboko 2.2 still dey my body ooooo

;DUp NEPA inside class

alexistaiwo:
You won the nairaland version of the challenge.

Lol...I stopped April fools prank after that day

I go do daddy and mummy with pastor daughter we are both less than 10 then, while we are still doing it my cousin caught us, i quickly invite the guy to come and do his own, so that he won't report, but the girl refuse, i beg this girl tired to allow him to do small, the girl no agree o, when the girl left, my cousin said he won't report as long i follow his rule and regulations henceforth, i said ok, the guy turn me to errands boy for 2 days until i vex for him, after my dad deal with me finish, pastor and his two hefty boys came to take permission from my dad to deal with me again to their satisfaction, and the permission was granted

Creativebae:
I sneaked out of secondary school to a party,before i got back to school my younger sister had taken my school bag home and my school uniform was inside. . i had to wear bum shot home trying to sneak in saw my whole family sitting outside...
I couldn't go to school for two weeks. I received the beating that reshaped my destiny. .
Lol

lmao..too funny

Though I have the most innocent look you can find.

I am as bad as they come.
Back in the days, I dey chop beatings back to back.

Infact I don't know which is worse.


The day I had my two wrists broken for leaving household chores to watch football.

The day I was caught in a PlayStation game house.

The day I received 50 strokes from three different teachers because I was reported by my mum.

The day I was beaten and had my back cut with razor and raw pepper was inserted (scars are still there)


I have more than 40 instances to chose from.


Last last what does not kill you will make you stubborner

OP you should also share biology broda @Broda_Ayo experience

I was sent fufu around 6pm. on getting there i saw my neighbor( a female) i started chatting with her doing all sort of amebo till around after 8pm. not until i saw a bike carrying my mummy home did i remember they sent me fufu. My right elbow actually got broken from the 2 by 2 my daddy used on me that day.

omojesu202:
that moi moi own ehnn...

if it was me, my mum will not still beat me, she will just say go n carry your food.
i can't remember that woman ever beating me

I hope you're not spoilt because by doing that to a child it is called negative reinforcement

Gotten my fair share from mum and dad.

I tire for them abeg.

You all are funny I swear.

they day ivlie to collect money from popsy. i collect d money go play Play station come back late in the Night. meanwhile theve been looking for me all about mhen i chop the beating of my life that Night.

pDudd:
In JSS2 I followed one of my ajebutter classmates home after school to play PlayStation 1. Their house was a mansion that always has AC on and all the curtains drawn so you can't see outside.

Na so I play game and chop chicken and rice sotay I forget say I get house. Eventually my friend asked me with worry, aren't you going to go home? I asked him the time and he told me it was 7pm. I instantly threw down my remote control, grabbed my bag and ran from VI extension area to 1004 estate. By the time I got home it was close to 8pm.

My parent thought I had been kidnapped. They asked where I was and I lied that there was fuel scarcity and there was no bus to come home. Of course that was a lie.

They tied me to the ground with rope and used iron springs from the sofa to flog the hell out of me. Then they used those same springs to flog the soles of my feet. I thought I was going to die that day. Damn!

which crescent you been stay?

stanliwise:
I hope you're not spoilt because by doing that to a child it is called negative reinforcement

dad was doing the beating

Davash222:
Was doing hide and seek with my siblings. Got eyes tied with black cloth. Popsy returned and I grabbed him shouting ‘I catch you, I catch you’.

Well, long story short, I took two tablets of paracetamol that night.

But what is funny about this na? Did the father not see that he was blindfolded? Nawa o

Was the day I went out to play football on a Sunday morning instead of going to church... The beating that day was historical.

Was told to buy 5 liters of kerosene
I bought 1litre and used change for game house
After 2hrs of Crash Team Racing, got home and filled up remaining 4litres with well water. With story of being among 10 million people on the queue at the filling station. Didn't know my dad had an A in chemistry. I got busted. Following day I had lost my last milk tooth and gotten a face like quasimodo. Remembering this still gives me the shivers.