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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / SEX Is Not A Sin!..and Has Never Been A SIN!! (408 Views)
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SEX Is Not A Sin!..and Has Never Been A SIN!! by Whitewolf8: 11:58am On Mar 31, 2019 |
Biologically speaking ...Sex is natural sex is fun Consider our closest DNA relatives, the African great apes, especially bonobos and chimps. We are all social, group-living creatures that thrive from community and cooperation. Female bonobos have multiple male partners and the sperm sort out who wins the genetic lottery of having their genetic material passed along to conception. When no one is the father, everyone is the father; the community as a whole cares for its young. There is no requirement for “paternity certainty” in their genetic makeup, Can you imagine a world where we genuinely felt responsible for each other? We used to have that, and we messed it up somehow along the way. This is all to say that sex enables bonding not only between individual people, but also between communities. Some primitive human tribes don’t have words for “jealousy” or “monogamy” or “marriage.” These are concepts that do not exist. Sex is so natural and so fun that everyone should be having it with everybody all the time! (Don’t forget the condoms !) But let’s not focus on the “how did it happen?” and rather on the “how do we fix it?” I ask you, reader, which makes more sense: Sex leads to orgasm (hopefully ), which causes a release of oxytocin that promotes a human bonding experience such that our instincts drive us to have sex even when we’re not trying to ( or able to ) get pregnant? Or: Sex is only for reproduction, so don’t have sex if you’re already pregnant or otherwise can’t become pregnant, don’t masturbate, and whatever you do, don’t have sex with someone of your same gender? I’m no anthropologist, but being a human and having known lots of humans over a not-so-short period of time (including hundreds of sexually active patients), I feel confident saying that “reserving” sex for “special occasions” like getting pregnant or after you're married is absurd. There are plenty of theories why our divorce rate is as high as it is. I'll tell you what I see all too often when I counsel married patients. When we are told that having sex is shameful, we fail to develop the skills to communicate with our partners about sex and all the complications that come with it. We also fail to engage in introspection, which would help us sort out complex feelings, urges, preferences, and proclivities. That makes it even harder to talk to our sexual partners (and it keeps us from asking questions from medical providers or other sources of guidance who could help). Unsurprisingly, this leads to sexual dissatisfaction and decreased bonding between partners. Huh. It’s almost as though biology WANTS us to have sex, regardless of what the local clergy say. We need to teach our children what sex is—and what it isn't. The sooner we acknowledge and accept that it is abstinence-only sex education, not pornography, that is a serious public health issue in our nation, the better. Sex education as we know it takes about five minutes to explain, because we only explain the biological aspect. Erection, vaginal lubrication, penis-in-vagina, ejaculation, ovulation, fertilization, implantation, pregnancy. But we know that's far from all there is to having sex, and if you don't teach it, the children are going to learn it for themselves. Kids typically figure out orgasms before they even know why private parts are private. Instead of shaming children for masturbating, we should calmly explain that it is a healthy part of being human (oxytocin release), but it is something to be done discretely in private. Treating sexuality as natural, not shameful, will hopefully help them avoid growing up with sexual anxieties that interfere with future interpersonal relationships. (On a related note: Sex education is incomplete, and unethical, if it does not include education surrounding what active consent is and is not.) For the love of the children and their future happiness as adults, do not shame their sexuality! Do not demonize having sex , which was exactly part of how they came to exist! Show them that sex can lead to having babies, but it also can be pleasurable for the sake of being pleasurable, that it can be a bonding experience between partners (of any gender), that it can feel good and also bring up confusing emotions, and most of all that it is OK to have it if and when they are ready. Then, one day, we may see a generation of adults who know what they want from sex and how to get it—consensually, married or unmarried, and with protection. what do you think?? |
Re: SEX Is Not A Sin!..and Has Never Been A SIN!! by anochuko01(m): 12:03pm On Mar 31, 2019 |
i think sex between two unmarried person is a sin... |
Re: SEX Is Not A Sin!..and Has Never Been A SIN!! by Nobody: 12:06pm On Mar 31, 2019 |
Stop telling the truth. |
Re: SEX Is Not A Sin!..and Has Never Been A SIN!! by Emereolevanwill(m): 12:13pm On Mar 31, 2019 |
Y tell them to masturbate, but discretely? |
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