I will be sharing with you both the wrong reasons to get married and also the right reasons to get married. Let me start by telling you a story.

Sometime ago, I was listening to a radio talk show and a woman called in and was crying profusely. She has been married for years now but no issue yet. She just discovered that her husband cheated on her with another woman. He has a child with that woman without her wife knowing about it. She said her husband doesn't regard her and that he treats her anyhow because she hasn't been able to give him a child. It hurts and it's a painful experience.

Recently, I heard a story of a woman that her husband gave 3 months ultimatum to either get pregnant of a baby or pack. If not for God's timely intervention, she would have been sent packing because she has no issue.

Almost everyday, people are getting married but for the wrong reasons little wonder why many marriages are meeting their unfortunate end when those reasons either cease to exist or are not coming forth.

I always advise people to either ask or try to find out from their partners, through their conversations, why he's or she's getting married to them because the reason(s) why someone get married to you will, to a large extent, determine their approach to you, how they will relate with and to you in the marriage. Everything they do will revolve around that reason.

What I want to do in this article is to show you the wrong reasons to get married and then, of course, the right reasons to be married.

Wrong reasons to get married..

1. Only To have children

When a man gets married solely because he wants to have children, especially boys that will carry on his name, and you are unable to give him a child or a boy, just like the cases of the two women above, he may discard you, sent you packing or begin to maltreat you.

Don't get married to a man that values children more than you. Children are good and wonderful but they shouldn't be the primary reason for marriage. You shouldn't get married because you want to answer a dad or mum, you want to have children. What are you going to do if the children don't come as expected?

Moreover, you are not going to stay with your children forever, one day they will grow, leave the house to go and start up their own family. You're always going to be stuck to your partner.

2. Only Love

A lot has been said and written about love and many people hold different perspective as to what love is. Whatever the view, one thing is common, love is a good thing.

Feelings are wonderful and great, you know those butterfly feelings in your tummy. As wonderful as feelings are, they're s not enough reasons to get married because because feelings are subject to change. Right now you have great feelings for her or him and in the next minute, you will be asking yourself whether you really love this guy or lady. So, feelings are not enough. There are other factors you need to consider.

Many people got married because they have great feelings for the guy or the lady and when the realities of marriage begin to manifest, it dawn on them that feelings indeed are not enough reason to marry anyone.

Feeling come and go. So, you shouldn't be making an important decision such as marriage based on your feelings which are not stable. You need more concrete and stable reasons. However, you shouldn't marry anyone that doesn't have feelings for you or someone you don't have feelings for too.

Remember I said that getting married ONLY for the sake of love without considering other factors is wrong not that love is a wrong reason perse. I hope you understand this.

3. Money

A lot of ladies are on this table. In fact some of them have clearly stated that they cannot marry a man that doesn't earn below certain amount of money per month. Money is good. It makes life easy and pleasant but it shouldn't be your sole purpose for getting married.

Things change. You may get married to a rich man and then things happen and he's back to square one. Nobody is praying for that but let's be realistic. You may also get married to someone that doesn't have enough and then things happen and boom, he will blow.

I'm not asking you to marry a poor man but money shouldn't be your first consideration for marriage, that's my point.

A lot of ladies got married because the man is wealthy and can take care of them. They have the man's money but not the man. Emotionally, physically, even spiritually the man is not there for them. That's why most of them cheat.

4. Appearance

A lot of men are on this table. They want to marry because of how beautiful, naturally endowed a lady is. Any lady that's not fully breasted and hipped and isn't beautiful doesn't tickle their fantasies. Looks changes. The body will wrinkle someday, what will happen then?

Some ladies too are on this table. They want to marry tall, dark and thick six packed and handsome men. Well, looks are great but they should not be your first priority.

The body will grow old one day. The face will be covered with wrinkle one day. The breasts and hip will fall one day. Go for what lasts.

5. Sex

Both guys and ladies are on this table. That's their number one reason for marriage. As a matter of fact, they have learned as many sex styles and positions as possible waiting to get married. Sex is great, really great but when you are fully and sexually satisfied with what next?

Sex is a great part of marriage but it isn't all that marriage is about. Marriage isn't made up of sex only. After the orgasms and ecstasy what will happen next? So, get your reasons right.

According to statistics, sex is among the top three causes of problems in marriage. A lot of people enter into marriage with a lot of sexual fantasies but when reality counter those fantasies problem ensued. Since they couldn't take it, they will file for divorce. Sex is not all that marriage is about, get it straight.

6. Status

Status which also connotes the position of someone in life is another wrong reason people get married. These days nobody wants to marry a liability nor someone that's still in the making process. Everyone almost wants a ready made.

Once status in life shouldn't be the only reason you are getting married to her or him. He's rich, honorable, respected, travels wide and near etc., shouldn't a factor in wanting to marry him. Don't get me wrong, I am not asking you to marry a lowlife but to make sure you are getting married for the right reasons to avoid future problems.

7. Pressure

This pressure normally comes from 4 areas; family, friends, society and age.

Your family members are heaping fire on you, pressurizing to bring a man home as a lady or to bring a woman home as a guy. Whenever you call mum, the conversation will not end without her telling you to bring a man or woman home. Other family members will start recommending daughters of their friends or colleagues to you as a guy for consideration to marry.

Your friends are telling you to go and married or they are all getting married in their numbers and you feel left out thus desperation and pressured set in. You know what I mean, one of your friends will call you and will begin to tell you what her husband is doing for her or they will start to give you levels as a married woman concern.

Age is another source of pressure especially for ladies. I used to wonder where it is written that every lady should be married at 25 or 26. So, when they get to that point and nothing is happening, they become desperate and pressured. Many of them end up making a mistake.

Finally, the society is another factor. It seems to have a thermometer it uses to measure when someone is supposed or is due to be married and if you are not, you will be pressurized to go and marry.

Listen, you are the one getting married not your family, friends or the society but you. That you are above 25 doesn't mean you should get married. Marriage should be when you have found the right person not when your age says 25 or 26 as a lady.

So, take your time and make sure you are getting married for the right reasons and to the right person. Remember, if you allow your family, friends, age and the society to pressure into marriage, you only will bear the consequences either good or bad. Marry at your own will and discretion.

8. Loneliness

Loneliness is another wrong reason people venture into the great institution of marriage. But unfortunately, marriage doesn't cure loneliness. As a matter of fact, marriage magnifies it.

More often than not, loneliness is always as a result of idleness. Idle mind and hand, Satan will always provide an employment.

The Bible said that Adam was alone but not lonely. Do you know why? He was a very busy man. He was naming the animals, taking care of the garden etc.,that God had to interrupt him to get married. You can be alone without being lonely. (Genesis 2:15-18)

When you get married because of loneliness, you will choke the life out of your partner due to the fact that you constantly need his or her presence to be out of loneliness. You will frustrate whomsoever it may be that comes into your life and you will never get of loneliness.

So, learn to be busy. Learn to enjoy your own company. Sometimes, in marriage you will need to give your partner space. It's not all the time you guys will be together talking and keeping each other company.

9. Pity

Pity is just a wrong reason to marry. Whatever may be the case, don't marry anyone out of pity. It takes more than a pity to be married. When the realities of marriage begins to set in, you will understand better.

He is poor and no lady wants to accept him, she's from a poor family, there's no body to take care of him or her etc., consequently, you want to marry him or her. Marriage involves more.


It's good to be sympathetic. It's good to help people. But when it comes to marriage, you need to be realistic. You need to make sure you are doing so for a concrete reason.


10. Appreciation

As weird as it may sound, appreciation is a wrong reason to get married. Probably, the lady stuck with you all the days of your brokenness or probably he supported and trained you in school, so you are highly obligated and thus you get married to him or her to show appreciation.

Listen, you can actually show appreciation without using marriage. What if both of you are not compatible? What if she is not your size? What if there is no common ground between you guys, are you still going to forge ahead and marry?

Right Reasons To Get Married

1. Love

Inasmuch as love is not enough reason to get married, however, you shouldn't marry someone you don't love nor someone that doesn't love you. You can't survive in marriage without love.

Love should be the foundation of your marriage but just like you know building a house doesn't stop at the foundation, other things come after foundation. Foundation gives a house structure and sustainability. That's what love does.

So, marry someone that loves you and marry someone you love too. Don't make a mistake about this if successful and fulfilling marriage is your desire. But, don't stop at love, consider other things.

2. Compatibility

Another crucial and critical reason you should get married to anyone at all is that you guys are compatible, compatible in your belief system, values, hobbies, interests, purpose, dreams, visions, personality, even genotype etc. In my opinion, compatibility should be the number one reason you should get married.

After God created everything, He discovered that among the things He created none was compatible to and with Adam, he(Adam) was just alone. Consequently, He took the initiative to make a suitable helper for him, little wonder Adam screamed when he saw Eve, his beautiful damsel, "This is the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh".(Genesis 2:23)

The importance of compatibility can never be overemphasized. It holds the key to marital success and fulfillment. Do you know that incompatibility is the leading cause of divorce in marriage not abuse or infidelity? I was shocked to discover that recently.

Amos 3:3 asked a very critical question, "Can two walk together, except they be agreed". Two people can never walk and flow together except their is an agreement. Irreconcilable differences will be the order of the day.

3. Companionship

Companionship is another crucial reason for marriage. When Adam was created, he was alone. Consequently, God created a woman compatible with and to him to keep him company.(Genesis 2:18)

When you marry because you want someone to spend your life and your moments with, I tell you that not having children will not matter much because it's the person's company you want more.

4. To fulfill destiny

Let me clearly say that, you can fulfill destiny without marriage like Paul or our Lord Jesus Christ, but marriage makes destiny fulfillment a lot easier. Fulfilling destiny should be another reason to marry. Don't just only marry for fun, marry to fulfill destiny.

The primary reason God created Eve was because Adam was alone in the assignment he was given, so Eve was created to help him. Marry someone you will fulfill destiny together with.(Genesis 1:26-28)

The sole reason you are on earth is not to get married but to fulfill destiny. You are on earth because there is a destiny you need to fulfill. So, it's good to get married but make sure you are doing so to help you fulfill destiny.

I have done my little best to provide you with the wrong and right reasons to get married so will you be making an informed decision and also know what you are getting yourself. You will do well to go over them again and go on to make the right decision.

#ImpactfulLiving
© Okolie Samuel