ednut1:
Bros life no easy as u paint am. Many guys are over 30 earning peanuts. How den go marry. Average marriage costs 2m plus renting and pimping house 1m don waka.

This is exactly where the guys are missing it. Who told you that you and your wife cannot hustle and make money together?, who told you that you must do a wedding that cost 2m naira like you said? who told you you must set your house before you marry. May God give you guys understanding about life.

agarawu23:
only foolish guys who aren't ready will be waiting to have millions before getting married.

Social medias and what they see online is making them stupid forgetting all hands aren't equal. One can easily marry a lady with less than 100k if he is ready to cut his coat according to his size. Not until a guy has it all before he can get married unless he is working towards satisfying his demanding wife to be who wants it all.

Oga, you no fit use 100k marry, abi you no go do traditional?

Now adays. Parents dey see their daughter as investment.
Especially those wey go sch

MelaninGold:
How old are you if I may ask. You seem to be in your thirties.

Not 30 yet, but getting there in a bit

ejibaba:


That's why I say pray for long life or pray to make it early in life so in the end you will achieve all you plan

Who doesn't pray? But leaving everything to prayer is like gambling. You don't wait to have everything before making that big decision because the truth is that only few can have everything.

ejibaba:


He should do what? Steal or kill himself? Pls, stop acting like you are not in Nigeria. This same attitude explains why they end up using you ladies for blood money.

No marriage is late

Stop being aggressive here. You ladies? Has M in front of my username changed to F?
Back to the discuss: he doesn't need to steal or kill himself but he still needs to think outside the box because if he doesn't, he's trapped, he's stucked for life. I'm in Nigeria, the fact he has 55k fixed income means that he has a head start.
He has wide range of options my friend. He could go into part time selling or transport. He can acquire skills on part-time basis. He should save from his existing income. If he can't, he should call it a quit.

And of course, there is late marriage. The words "late marriage" didn't exist for nothing.

MelaninGold:
Op is making some points here. But you need to be financially, emotionally and psychologically prepared before going into marriage.

A young man of 25 is old enough to get married but the economy of our country is very disabling. You will agree with me that some 25 year olds are still searching for admission due to the almighty JAMB or even finance. For those who are in school already,may be in 200l or 300l. Now, after graduation,NYSC.. looking for a job. This could take 2,3,4,5 years. When they finally get a job,they have to save enough before thinking of marriage.

Let's be sincere here..most men of 25-30 are not even serious-minded people.
Take Nairaland for example, I have observed that most young men and women are more interested in sex, violence, tribalistic threads than those that promote unity, innovation, education entrepreneural skills. Imagine if this peolpe choose to get married now.

Just to give an example of the disadvantage of late marriage. I know a family where the parents got married late. Mom was around 33,dad was about 36.They got married and had to start having kids. They have 5 children now, Their eldest child is 26, about to graduate. The other children are undergraduates. Parents are no longer working. Everyone now depends on the first born - soon to be medical doctor.

In a nutshell... early marriage is good y'all.

Yea it's good bro, but the economy does not shear the same sentiment; and trust me many of the guys you call "not serious minded" are so because of the forum in which they found their selves. Trust me they are more responsible offline, if the economy is nicer everybody go marry early my brother.

EncourageMe:
This is exactly where the guys are missing it. Who told you that you and your wife cannot hustle and make money together?, who told you that you must do a wedding that cost 2m naira like you said? who told you you must set your house before you marry. May God give you guys understanding about life.

even if u want low key. The lady ur family and hers may not agree

[quote author=truthsayer009 post=77552894]
Not 30 yet, but getting there in a bit[/quote

You better start working on it.

ednut1:
even if u want low key. The lady ur family and hers may not agree

who told you they won't agree, who?
me, I cannot come and kee myself, laiali!
I can't borrow a kobo from anyone to fund a-day party, kolework!

MelaninGold:

As hard as it may seem, not every woman wants a rich guy. Some are willing to settle for less. Provided love is present.

Well good to know, problem is even when you are willing to settle for less. A bare minimum must still be earned.

Look since I started living on my own & paying my own bills, I have been grateful to my parents & feel the need to apologize to every thing I have complained in life about.

How far can a 50k - 100k salary get you in a city like Lagos? Not really far. The minimum wage is 19,800 don't forget, everything I'm saying now will be a joke to you until you finish school & your eyes will be wide open.

[quote author=MelaninGold post=77553554][/quote]

Don't worry, I'll wait till you finish school, then come & marry you.

IkpuMmadu:


https://etimes.com.ng/the-consequences-of-late-marriage-and-the-very-reasons-why-you-should-marry-early-if-you-can/

By Anayo M. Nwosu

this is so true.from childhood omotola has been my mentor on marriage and career. I got Married at 20 immediately after b.sc, my husband was 26. We have 2 kids now after 8years of marriage. I'm back To my m.sc. I don't regret it . many of my friends who got married later due to hustle and career are finding it difficult to cope. They have become to independent to live or allow a man control them. Also the kind of men they find are the ones that have all n they are just looking for someone to sit at home and bear kids. It s not going down well with ma friends.
Marrying early also has its stress but sincerely you will enjoy it if you plan it well

MelaninGold:
Op is making some points here. But you need to be financially, emotionally and psychologically prepared before going into marriage.

A young man of 25 is old enough to get married but the economy of our country is very disabling. You will agree with me that some 25 year olds are still searching for admission due to the almighty JAMB or even finance. For those who are in school already,may be in 200l or 300l. Now, after graduation,NYSC.. looking for a job. This could take 2,3,4,5 years. When they finally get a job,they have to save enough before thinking of marriage.

Let's be sincere here..most men of 25-30 are not even serious-minded people.
Take Nairaland for example, I have observed that most young men and women are more interested in sex, violence, tribalistic threads than those that promote unity, innovation, education entrepreneural skills. Imagine if this peolpe choose to get married now.

Just to give an example of the disadvantage of late marriage. I know a family where the parents got married late. Mom was around 33,dad was about 36.They got married and had to start having kids. They have 5 children now, Their eldest child is 26, about to graduate. The other children are undergraduates. Parents are no longer working. Everyone now depends on the first born - soon to be medical doctor.

In a nutshell... early marriage is good y'all.

Early marriage is and will always remain the best. There's no doubt about this fact and I so much love your submissions. God bless your reasoning dear.
There are lots of factors that contribute to late marriage if properly dissected.
First is the area of finance. We all agree that the guy MUST be financially stable and have regular means of income before embarking on the journey. This does not mean that he must be earning millions before thinking of marriage. The amount he earns must be such that he can at least cater for two more persons I.e the wife and a child.
Secondly, he must be emotionally stable and have a great sense of humor, perseverance, tolerating and accommodating. These are ingredients that will help keep the marriage going.
Now, when you consider all these factors and lots more, how many young guys of nowadays have all these qualities and mind you, my second point has really contributed to success of marriage and lack of it also contributes to majority of divorce issues in Nigeria. But, to those that have the capacity to settle down at early age, please kindly do so.
For those still trying to find their feet, please don't take this post as depressant but rather, a wake up call.
May God answer our prayers.

loomer:


Oga, you no fit use 100k marry, abi you no go do traditional?

Now adays. Parents dey see their daughter as investment.
Especially those wey go sch

people marry with lesser amount. What's traditional marriage? No be to go villa go know your wife people? Na as u present yourself the family go take you. It all depends on the lady you are dating. Don't tell me all these married poor men married with over 100k

Macgabe:


Early marriage is and will always remain the best. There's no doubt about this fact and I so much love your submissions. God bless your reasoning dear.
There are lots of factors that contribute to late marriage if properly dissected.
First is the area of finance. We all agree that the guy MUST be financially stable and have regular means of income before embarking on the journey. This does not mean that he must be earning millions before thinking of marriage. The amount he earns must be such that he can at least cater for two more persons I.e the wife and a child.
Secondly, he must be emotionally stable and have a great sense of humor, perseverance, tolerating and accommodating. These are ingredients that will help keep the marriage going.
Now, when you consider all these factors and lots more, how many young guys of nowadays have all these qualities and mind you, my second point has really contributed to success of marriage and lack of it also contributes to majority of divorce issues in Nigeria. But, to those that have the capacity to settle down at early age, please kindly do so.
For those still trying to find their feet, please don't take this post as depressant but rather, a wake up call.
May God answer our prayers.

Thank you sir for your kind contributions. You have done well.

IkpuMmadu:


https://etimes.com.ng/the-consequences-of-late-marriage-and-the-very-reasons-why-you-should-marry-early-if-you-can/

By Anayo M. Nwosu

Mr poster calm down. Let people marry wen they re ready ND not because of an article. Many people marry young and end up running out because they were forced by society. My mummy married at 34 and yet was able to sponsor me. She was 55 when I graduated University at 20 nd my dad 58. So let nature take it's due course and I have a 1 year old sister. Because it did not work out for you, doesn't mean it can't work for another person.

ednut1:
Bros life no easy as u paint am. Many guys are over 30 earning peanuts. How den go marry. Average marriage costs 2m plus renting and pimping house 1m don waka.

Cut ur coat according to ur material and u will see marriage isnt dat a bigdeal.

chemgee:
I just wish you know how Japan, Norway and most 1st world nations view marriage.. why do Nigerians place so much value on marriage/children instead of making life better?
marry on time... give birth to children.. feed your wife & children.. buy car/build house for your family.. after that you na die.
is that what God created black man to do?
why don't we think about space exploration, curing diseases, scientific breakthrough.. the whole world is entering the 4th industrial revolution, 9ja still dey dance BTW 1st/2nd, but yet marriage, religion is wat fills our discuss..
You can go ahead and marry without any source of livelihood, bring children into this world to suffer/beg(almajiri style).

I must try my best to ensure my children ain't brought up in this country, if I can't afford it I will do my best to ensure they're born aboard, at least to secure dual citizenship..

everything for 9ja jus dey provoke person

no mind black man o

ednut1:
even if u want low key. The lady ur family and hers may not agree

waka leave them, look for another lady that will agree. If Bishop oyedepo wife was looking for already made man and big wedding, he would have missed Oyedepo now, but is there any man richer than Oyedepo now apart from just few men?

Well written.

But the slow minded family members are not yet through with marry this one, don't marry that one stupidity.

He is busy looking for a beautiful woman.

He is looking for youngie.

Stupidity is inbuilt. Follow come. Hating on your own.

SIRTee15:
Africans has a long way to go sha....
See what this one is discussing, an educated mind for that matter....
African youths will not talk of eradicating hunger or poverty in the continent....
They won't talk of creating wealth and adding value...
African young doctors won't talk of making STEM cell transplant easily accessible to millions of sickle cell patients on the continent....
It's all about getting married and having kids....
That's all they care about despite the investment in education....
Lord lugard was right after all- the African mind cares all about sex and procreation.....

no mind black man o

EncourageMe:
waka leave them, look for another lady that will agree. If Bishop oyedepo wife was looking for already made man and big wedding, he would have missed Oyedepo now, but is there any man richer than Oyedepo now apart from just few men?

u no fit compare that time and now

I totally agreed with the OP, i got married at 29 though i initial plan was to marry at 25.
My Dad passed away when i was 21.

Some of these guys on this platform can they keep a wife at age 25?.Marraige require maturity in the mind to handle issue in it. Without this divioce might set in. It is good to marry early as Op stated but capability of a man is another thing entirely now. I enjion u to do the needful as soon as u are fully mature, capable

ednut1:
Bros life no easy as u paint am. Many guys are over 30 earning peanuts. How den go marry. Average marriage costs 2m plus renting and pimping house 1m don waka.

that had been my mentality back then i was always of the opinion that how would i get married when i can't successfully cater for my self little did i realize that our sustenanace is not by our power or might, my two other friends at that time whom am better than financial wise got married out of nothing but with firm belief that things will be be better. Now they are happily married with kids i still remain single yet my financial condition has not greatly improved.

i wan do marriage now.....but i need money jere. all these marry now, marry now, na money e dey cost!!!!!! and where is the money with the kind job persin dey see do for this lagos.

stanley000:
lol but you are so on point. Marriage has nothing to do with maturity but unfortunately that's how our poor uneducated society sees it. How can a man be married with kids and still lives with his mother in the family and his children now depend on the mother that he supposed to be care of?? Now the society will still find a way to tag him as responsible, just because he was able to use his dickkk that now makes him matured? Nigerians are the sickest set of ppl if u ask me. Marriage should be when u are financially stable, that's why the ibos chase wealth first. When everything is set and ready then they find a younger lady to settle down with but that lady's enjoyment will be 80% guaranteed plus most of them already have a built home by then.... That's the perfect plan!!!

And that is why our women are the most entitled and ungrateful women in Nigeria

Because the unfortunate man has slaved his life to build something, and she comes into the picture when it's time for harvest

That is one thing we need to expunge from our midst as Igbos

Marriage is for companionship na what are all these ?

Yigiyaga:
Good information to those who choose to listen. I should have married at 25 if i can turn back time.

I wish I married at 25, It would have come with a lot of hardship. I was constantly thinking about it, all permutations worked against me. No job, no income, girlfriend was pushing me to have baby, but I stood my ground that I wasn't going to settle for less.
Now, I can afford basic things in life but I regret not starting family earlier.

MelaninGold:

Thank you sir for your kind contributions. You have done well.

Your are most welcome.

@OP, nice post but I don't agree with all its content.

Some got married at age 26 and never had their first child until about 15 years later, while some do at age 36 and the following year, they have a child. Although I get your point on this matter but it's still quite relative and subjective.

For the finance part, just work hard & smart and pray for God's financial blessings and then it won't matter if you married late or gave birth late. Try find out how old Tony Elemelu's first child is compared to his age, Jay Z also got married late but they've got the money to take care of their children even after 'retirement age'. My point, make money, don't depend on retirement benefits.

Finally, may God order our footsteps and direct our paths, we can only try but the final decision lies with him.

Emilokoiyawon:
Rubbish. Its better to marry at 50 and last till death than to marry at 20 and divorce at 21.

good on you! keep using that brain God gave you! its a good thing.