Hey guys! African American lady here. My BF just went back to his homeland from outside the U.S. Just wanted to know how common is it for men to adopt a sibling one father pass away. If common...how common is it for a girlfriend to take on the title of Mom from the child? I'm not Nigerian and was a Lil thrown off during Video Chat when I was introduced. I'll bring it up to him but wasn't expecting that. I don't mind the situation, I was just thrown off about it. What about the child's mother....you know...my BF actual mother is the child's mom. ALSO Is it normal for a man to wear a ring and not be married? He never had to tell me that he was wearing a ring so....I dont know. He wanted to let folks know he has been taken now. I appreciated that but wondered... is someone trying to give you away? Why can't you just say I'm taken?

if the child is indeed his younger brother is sister, it is very normal here for one to adopt such a sibling and bring him or her up, especially if the boyfriend is the first child.
on the issue of the child calling you mom, tell him or her to call you be a nickname or alias like big aunty, small mummy etc.
as for the taken part, the guy is protecting your interest, some families will not want to hear I am Taken they want to see rings and pictures.

You bf is married in Nigeria. That was his son he introduced to you. Foreign women are considered dumbbb...they are mostly dumbb too. Normal naija woman would have decoded the encoded sharpsharp. Cheers.

It's likely that's his child.

And the mother will come and join the family once the husband's papers are complete.

Ubunja, Come and tell the truth as you know it.

sisisioge:


You bf is married in Nigeria. That was his son he introduced to you. Foreign women are considered dumbbb...they are mostly dumbb too. Normal naija woman would have decoded the encoded sharpsharp. Cheers.

calm down na

shege45:
calm down na

Let's tell her the truth. Sometimes, our men break these women into several pieces after these scams. Imagine if she's your daughter, won't you want to tell her the absolute truth? Mommy ke, calling non maternal females mommy is common here. Most children are compelled to call women on that arent their mothers mommy to show respect, especially in the local settings . My Nieces and Nephew sometimes call me mommmy when my mom wants them to remind me that I'm older than their mothers . Whew!

sisisioge:


Let's tell her the truth. Sometimes, our men break these women into several pieces after these scams. Imagine if she's your daughter, won't you want to tell her the absolute truth? Mommy ke, calling non maternal females mommy is common here. Most children are compelled to call women on that arent their mothers mommy to show respect, especially in the local settings . My Nieces and Nephew sometimes call me mommmy when my mom wants them to remind me that I'm older than their mothers . Whew!

lol na true sha
No vex

sisisioge:


You bf is married in Nigeria. That was his son he introduced to you. Foreign women are considered dumbbb...they are mostly dumbb too. Normal naija woman would have decoded the encoded sharpsharp. Cheers.

must you just assume

It's done over here and your brother as I think may be real with you

MoxxxxO123:
It's done over here and your brother as I think may be real with you

I mean boyfriend

sisisioge:


Let's tell her the truth. Sometimes, our men break these women into several pieces after these scams. Imagine if she's your daughter, won't you want to tell her the absolute truth? Mommy ke, calling non maternal females mommy is common here. Most children are compelled to call women on that arent their mothers mommy to show respect, especially in the local settings . My Nieces and Nephew sometimes call me mommmy when my mom wants them to remind me that I'm older than their mothers . Whew!

But classifying them as dumb was unfair naa

ImaIma1:


But classifying them as dumb was unfair naa

Come and beat me

sisisioge:

Come and beat me

Can I volunteer dear?
#Sharpens the 'kane'

Dionne005:
Hey guys! African American lady here. My BF just went back to his homeland from outside the U.S. Just wanted to know how common is it for men to adopt a sibling one father pass away. If common...how common is it for a girlfriend to take on the title of Mom from the child? I'm not Nigerian and was a Lil thrown off during Video Chat when I was introduced. I'll bring it up to him but wasn't expecting that. I don't mind the situation, I was just thrown off about it. What about the child's mother....you know...my BF actual mother is the child's mom. ALSO Is it normal for a man to wear a ring and not be married? He never had to tell me that he was wearing a ring so....I dont know. He wanted to let folks know he has been taken now. I appreciated that but wondered... is someone trying to give you away? Why can't you just say I'm taken?

he's probably married and that's kid. Try and probe him the more, look for information about him online and be very sure though! We really can't tell but high probability of just playing games with you, especially being a yoruba guy hahaha

Hey babygal, are you single love to mingle

Dionne005:
Hey guys! African American lady here. My BF just went back to his homeland from outside the U.S. Just wanted to know how common is it for men to adopt a sibling one father pass away. If common...how common is it for a girlfriend to take on the title of Mom from the child? I'm not Nigerian and was a Lil thrown off during Video Chat when I was introduced. I'll bring it up to him but wasn't expecting that. I don't mind the situation, I was just thrown off about it. What about the child's mother....you know...my BF actual mother is the child's mom. ALSO Is it normal for a man to wear a ring and not be married? He never had to tell me that he was wearing a ring so....I dont know. He wanted to let folks know he has been taken now. I appreciated that but wondered... is someone trying to give you away? Why can't you just say I'm taken?

Well I've video chat with his entire family and they want me to visit. I couldn't this time but I also want to learn the language 100% just about before I visit. I'm understanding things. His mom was wondering why didn't I come with him. Idk. His whole family was wondering why I didn't come. It was both of our choice to wait till Jan when I'll be more ready. As for the ring, he never had to tell me about the ring Caz he's always holding his phone. So if he's married in Nigeria....idk...it would be odd. He knows that I'd never help him get citizenship. We've made that clear. And we talk a lot in public places while he's in Nigeria the whole time. Would a wife that hasn't seen her man in 4+ years allow that? And would Nigerian men leave the daughters behind for that long. He's 29 the girl is turning 16. How likely is that too be his. He is elder brother too.

If you don't mind I can teach you how to speak the language absolutely

Dionne005:
Well I've video chat with his entire family and they want me to visit. I couldn't this time but I also want to learn the language 100% just about before I visit. I'm understanding things. His mom was wondering why didn't I come with him. Idk. His whole family was wondering why I didn't come. It was both of our choice to wait till Jan when I'll be more ready. As for the ring, he never had to tell me about the ring Caz he's always holding his phone. So if he's married in Nigeria....idk...it would be odd. He knows that I'd never help him get citizenship. We've made that clear. And we talk a lot in public places while he's in Nigeria the whole time. Would a wife that hasn't seen her man in 4+ years allow that? And would Nigerian men leave the daughters behind for that long. He's 29 the girl is turning 16. How likely is that too be his. He is elder brother too.

sisisioge:


Let's tell her the truth. Sometimes, our men break these women into several pieces after these scams. Imagine if she's your daughter, won't you want to tell her the absolute truth? Mommy ke, calling non maternal females mommy is common here. Most children are compelled to call women on that arent their mothers mommy to show respect, especially in the local settings . My Nieces and Nephew sometimes call me mommmy when my mom wants them to remind me that I'm older than their mothers . Whew!

older than their mother?

PSTEMMA1960:
older than their mother?

Yes...so?

sisisioge:


Yes...so?

nothing my sister, that line just cracked me up that was why I quoted u........maybe she is indirectly telling u to go and get married and have ur kids as well (but sometimes it doesn't work that way)

Dionne005:
Well I've video chat with his entire family and they want me to visit. I couldn't this time but I also want to learn the language 100% just about before I visit. I'm understanding things. His mom was wondering why didn't I come with him. Idk. His whole family was wondering why I didn't come. It was both of our choice to wait till Jan when I'll be more ready. As for the ring, he never had to tell me about the ring Caz he's always holding his phone. So if he's married in Nigeria....idk...it would be odd. He knows that I'd never help him get citizenship. We've made that clear. And we talk a lot in public places while he's in Nigeria the whole time. Would a wife that hasn't seen her man in 4+ years allow that? And would Nigerian men leave the daughters behind for that long. He's 29 the girl is turning 16. How likely is that too be his. He is elder brother too.

Lots of Nigerian women allow their husbands marry another woman abroad for papers.
They know and see it as the man doing what’s good for their family’s financial future.

The man’s whole family and Nigerian wife even plays a part in this scam sometimes, welcoming the “Oyibo” and taking her around when she visits.

You have been told the truth here, do with it what you will, just don’t cry love scam years from now.

CanadianNaija:


Lots of Nigerian women allow their husbands marry another woman abroad for papers.
They know and see it as the man doing what’s good for their family’s financial future.

The man’s whole family and Nigerian wife even plays a part in this scam sometimes, welcoming the “Oyibo” and taking her around when she visits.

You have been told the truth here, do with it what you will, just don’t cry love scam years from now.

did you read where she say the girl is 16 years.

No one even asked the vital question like what was the living situation of the guy... it could be that he got his resident permit and needed no help... People can't help themselves in terms of jumping into conclusion recklessly with two feet. . ...

@OP
1...I suggest that you believe in your man until you find a reason not to...
2... Some men like wearing rings.. even when they are single some wear necklaces.. .. it's individual choices...
3... Do not let anyone here make u doubt your man... No one here knows the circumstances surrounding you meeting him and fallen in love with him..
4....When next they are inviting you over to Nigeria.... try and clear your schedule and go... so u can see things for yourself. .. open your pretty eyes and see so that you can have reason( or no reason) to doubt your man...over there u will know if the kid is his or truly his sibling...

People here are about to sow a seed of discord between you two if u let them....

Richy4:
No one even asked the vital question like what was the living situation of the guy... it could be that he got his residents permit and needed no help... People can't help themselves in terms of jumping into conclusion recklessly with two feet. . ...

@OP
1...I suggest that you believe in your man until you find a reason not to...
2... Some men like wearing rings.. even when they are single some wear necklaces.. .. it's individual choices...
3... Do not let anyone here make u doubt your man... No one here knows the circumstances surrounding you meeting him and fallen in love with him..
4....When next they are inviting you over to Nigeria.... try and clear your schedule and go... so u can see things for yourself. .. open your pretty eyes and see so that you can have reason( or no reason) to doubt your man...over there u will know if the kid is his or truly his sibling...

People here are about to sow a seed of discord between you two if u let them....

God bless you for this. I dont know why we Nigerians wont allow our oyibos find out truth themselves instead of acting like they know all. Give her likely reasons not giving wrong impression and assurances. Truth is a big thing for any relationship to thrive and succeed so miss trust your BF until ue proves otherwise. Never use other people's negative relationship experience to generalize it kills 5he relationship.

sisisioge:


Let's tell her the truth. Sometimes, our men break these women into several pieces after these scams. Imagine if she's your daughter, won't you want to tell her the absolute truth? Mommy ke, calling non maternal females mommy is common here. Most children are compelled to call women on that arent their mothers mommy to show respect, especially in the local settings . My Nieces and Nephew sometimes call me mommmy when my mom wants them to remind me that I'm older than their mothers . Whew!

These are ssumptions ,and not necessarily true,the fact that it has happened before does not mean it is the same.

CanadianNaija:


Lots of Nigerian women allow their husbands marry another woman abroad for papers.
They know and see it as the man doing what’s good for their family’s financial future.

The man’s whole family and Nigerian wife even plays a part in this scam sometimes, welcoming the “Oyibo” and taking her around when she visits.

You have been told the truth here, do with it what you will, just don’t cry love scam years from now.

I feel as if you didn't read my post but quoted. I said I'm not helping him get his citizenship in any manner. Zero help. And he knows that. We will be married after he gets it. We have discussed this. And the girl is 16 which means he would have conceived at 14 or 15. Is it normal for boys to be having babies that age? I know it can happen in America but it's not a thing. Anyways we are both too young for a teenager to be calling us mom and dad.

olas24u:

These are ssumptions ,and not necessarily true,the fact that it has happened before does not mean it is the same.

Be deceiving your fellow woman.

sisisioge:


You bf is married in Nigeria. That was his son he introduced to you. Foreign women are considered dumbbb...they are mostly dumbb too. Normal naija woman would have decoded the encoded sharpsharp. Cheers.

Don’t say this without providing evidence. It’s really dumb

Dionne005:


I feel as if you didn't read my post but quoted. I said I'm not helping him get his citizenship in any manner. Zero help. And he knows that. We will be married after he gets it. We have discussed this. And the girl is 16 which means he would have conceived at 14 or 15. Is it normal for boys to be having babies that age? I know it can happen in America but it's not a thing. Anyways we are both too young for a teenager to be calling us mom and dad.

Please ignore the stupidity you read here. This forum is a terrible place to get advice and negatively affect your relationship. Can you imagine the advices you are getting from people who really don’t know and care about you.

goldenboyofpsy:
God bless you for this. I dont know why we Nigerians wont allow our oyibos find out truth themselves instead of acting like they know all. Give her likely reasons not giving wrong impression and assurances. Truth is a big thing for any relationship to thrive and succeed so miss trust your BF until ue proves otherwise. Never use other people's negative relationship experience to generalize it kills 5he relationship.

Very disgusting especially from sisiloge. She sounded like a stupid Arrow. You don’t know this people or the relationship dynamics, but want to sound like an expert. How stupid!!!!

Boss13:


Don’t say this without providing evidence. It’s really dumb

I understand your struggles dude but you've got to grow some conscience