Op, you are making a big mistake.Your in contentment will put you in a disgraceful situation.Its your choice to keep up with the adultery but how long.How do you think your intergrity in the office will be rated? You are becoming shameless and that is the height where you will get to,and everything will begin to be going to the wrong direction.Retrace now that you still have chance.Stop lusting over that man.Make up your mind to love everything about your husband.Its all in our mind.Control how your mind uses you.

Marbella003:
I have a main account but I decided to create this one to post this in order to avoid embarrassment or reveal my identity.

I got married 4 years ago to my husband. He was in his 40s and I was in my 20s. The age difference between us has never really been a problem as we are both educated, well spoken, have similar personalities and share a lot of interests, and as a result we mesh well. My husband is a very caring and thoughtful man. This is one of the traits that made me fall helplessly for him, along with his intelligence and fun personality. I will not reveal anything pertaining to kids as this might punch a hole in my wall of anonymity.

I've always loved my husband and I still do. But I've never really been sexually attracted to him. This is not to say that I find him unattractive. No. He is okay as far as physical appearance goes, but his look has never been the kind to turn me on sexually. To put it plainly, I find that I'm only sexually attracted to young men around my age with tall, athletic bodies and with the energy and agility to please a woman satisfyingly in the bedroom. I met this kind of man in my work place and after we talked a few times I couldn't help but become attracted to him. I realized he was also attracted me, and fast forward to a week ago, we had sex in a hotel room.

I'm ashamed to admit that sex with him was glorious, but it truly was. It was better than anything I had ever done with my husband. I loved how he tossed me around the bed and did stuff to me that my husband doesn't do and I liked how ever part of his body felt firm and strong. After the act I felt a wave of shame wash over me. I recognized that I had committed an atrocity and I knew I had broken my marriage vows. The guilt of what I had done followed me around like a stench. I hated myself for betraying a man that had always loved and cared for me.

The problem I now face is that despite the guilt and the shame I constantly feel, I still yearn to experience another period of sexual bliss with my colleague. I can't help it. I'm torn. I already told my colleague that that one time was the last but deep down I don't want it to be. I know that if I tell my husband about what I did, that it would mark the end of my relationship with my colleague, but I don't know exactly how my husband would receive this information. I don't want him to look at me and see a betrayer of trust; a woman lacking integrity and virtue. No. I even thought of resigning from my job or requesting a transfer so as not to be in close proximity with my colleague but I know that wouldn't solve anything as I still have his social media info and occasionally stalk him(yes I do). I'm so conflicted. I don't know what to do.

This thread is one of the first I am seeing men give concrete advise as regards a cheating wife.

None of the dramatics, we are getting there.

@OP: You married your husband for money hence the 20yr gap while you desire a young guy sexually.

So far, your husband has been good to you, doing his own side of the bargain. Still you found a side bobo and after round 1, you want more (naturally).

These facts tell me that you are currently not capable to think long term or deep enough to match actions with consequences.

If you were,
1. You wouldn't have married papi when it is a young man that sets you on fire.

2. After sleeping with the young man, you would have cleaned mouth because you know that long term is destruction.

That side, except you have a mind shift, you will sleep with the young guy again and again and when he is done, you will pick someone else.

It is good that you did not lay the blame on him however on yourself so the solution is not him changing or gyming but your mindset has to change.

Unfortunately in sexual matters, the intended heart wants what it wants.

So you need to retrain that heart to desire your husband and learn styles that make up in charge so you tell him what to do.

You would be shocked that your husband also desires to flip you but is scared you might not like it.

You can also initiate role play where you are his girl and ask him to do whatever he likes.

Again, older men marry younger women for their youth. Have you brought youthfulness to his life or are you waiting passively for him to initiate?

Worst case, get good dildos and fvck yourself to stupor if that would satiate you.

Need I say you should go and sin no more?

However, if you want to destroy your marriage and future of your kids, you can ride on with the dude.

cococandy:
We are polygamous in nature.

Go with the flow.

Lol

What's this?

bukatyne:


Hmmmm.

For all we know, she might have married a virgin.

The problem is the age gap.

But she says it's not

Small cheat wey woman cheat we don reach page 3! . Double standard!
Op! Na knack you knack, you no kee person.
.
Just dead the relationship with the dude.. If you wanna cheat, long distance with no strings. There are Brostitutes you can pay off sef. Don't dare talk about it to your husband.
With all your husband is and more, I'd advise you stay contented to avoid doom. Have more sexual discussions. Tell him what you want and how you want it. Age has got nothing on a man.

jnrbayano:


But she says it's not

She said young able bodied men turn her on.

Her hubby is 40+ while she is just 20+

bukatyne:


She said young able bodied men turn her on.

Her hubby is 40+ while she is just 20+

I read your advice to her and that is nice

I can't add anymore

jnrbayano:


I read your advice to her and that is nice

I can't add anymore

Thanks.

Small something...

You are obviously polygamous in nature

Don't get caught, you hear?

keeping fvcking your colleague since your heart wants him, keep it a secret cos what your husband doesn't know won't kill him.


But hear me this is how your story will end: after a 2nd round with this " glorious sex giver" you'll fell in love with him and become very attached , you'll start planning on killing your husband but because he's a good man and u don't want blood on your hands , you will sluggishly give him a divorce , he'll plead but your heart is hardened , you and your glorious sex giver will move in together planning marriage, your husband will decide to move on but b4 doing that he will want to affirm the paternity of the kids and then BOOM he'd discover He's not the real father ( you've been a wh*re from day 1) he'll then bring the kids to your work place dump them with you and leaves, move to another state and starts afresh, months later your glorious sex giver starts giving u attitude cos he's tired of you and he'll suddenly leaves you for a sexier girl , Now all the guys at your workplace will know you're a free giver and they'll sweet-mouth you and get their own share of the pvssy , but karma makes you loose your job and will never find another and you'll end up in a brothel selling your body for 500naira ...suddenly both of the kids will die and you'll continue selling your body till the pussy is worn out ...and you'll die a useless death with no honour, no husband no kids ...but you'll be a FULFILLED WH*RE

Super story, u get luck say ur husband no from nsukka na under the influence of madness u for still dey feel ur colleague.

Good to hear this. Just tell which one is his own child?

femi4:
Love is no longer enough, the person must be sexually attractive ....This is just the definition of LUST

After like 7 rounds both of you will get tired of each other, the sex....I ve been there before

Lemme assume! The Op has just a boy* every other tns from the man makes her blush buh since she’s got much experience before marriage, she knows wah exactly a good bed experience is and she seem missing dt since she was taken to the altar!

Anyways* I don’t see any chance of you desisting from the path you just chosed, however, you can only work on yourself by fasting n praying n keeping your libido down* chose to be happy with your man no matter the size of your man, enjoy like dt woman* tell him how he needed to improve n spice up your bed experience; he wud improve*

Forgive yourself, seek God’s forgiveness, and move on with your life*

The mind telling to still sex that man or any other man out of wedlock only wanna destroy you; n we all got choices anyways*

Wish you the best

Chubhie:

Perhaps, good counsel would be adhered if she first burns out some of those fire in her downstream sector. I don't like good counsel going to waste

This is why people should not bring their problems to social media. People like you will lead them astray.

my sister told me how her former classmate slept with her boss( a young man) to get a job.her husband had earlier told her he will set up a business for her,but she insisted on working in an office( probably for social media sake).now the young boss is craving for more sex and the lady is in dilemma

it is for this reason some yoruba men put magun on their wife

Someone has said it 'forgive yourself and move on'

I know koyyes, trapQ, cococandy et al will avoid this thread.

I have a main account but I decided to create this one to post this in order to avoid embarrassment or reveal my identity.

How am I sure it is not even...


...make I no talk wetin dey my mind!

Oloshi olriburuku! Ile aiye E Ti baje!
Live With that Guy too You Hear, has he Mess Smelly Mess Near You, Him don Shit For Your Side Before see If the Strong Sexual Desire would still be there after 6 months of you both living Together. Mumu Girl
Ode! You did a Bad Thing, a very very very Baaaaaad Thing!
This is why we say Y'all Should Get married as Virgins, Can You see what's Going on Now
You are Selfish! accept it You are Not Fit to be in that Marriage or any Marriage and If your Husband Is A Loyal Spouse he definitely doesn't Deserve You

I pray God restores your peace and separate you from this guy. Truth is there will always be someone better than our spouses in every way. But you have chosen to marry whom you did marry (except it's a forced marriage, which in your case is not) , let's be content.

Godliness and Contentment is of great gain.

U should have bring d news to us first b4 having sex with him
Enjoy ur life ur God will judge u

My own advice, ur husband must not know and flee from the new guy

Marbella003:
I have a main account but I decided to create this one to post this in order to avoid embarrassment or reveal my identity.

I got married 4 years ago to my husband. He was in his 40s and I was in my 20s. The age difference between us has never really been a problem as we are both educated, well spoken, have similar personalities and share a lot of interests, and as a result we mesh well. My husband is a very caring and thoughtful man. This is one of the traits that made me fall helplessly for him, along with his intelligence and fun personality. I will not reveal anything pertaining to kids as this might punch a hole in my wall of anonymity.

I've always loved my husband and I still do. But I've never really been sexually attracted to him. This is not to say that I find him unattractive. No. He is okay as far as physical appearance goes, but his look has never been the kind to turn me on sexually. To put it plainly, I find that I'm only sexually attracted to young men around my age with tall, athletic bodies and with the energy and agility to please a woman satisfyingly in the bedroom. I met this kind of man in my work place and after we talked a few times I couldn't help but become attracted to him. I realized he was also attracted me, and fast forward to a week ago, we had sex in a hotel room.

I'm ashamed to admit that sex with him was glorious, but it truly was. It was better than anything I had ever done with my husband. I loved how he tossed me around the bed and did stuff to me that my husband doesn't do and I liked how ever part of his body felt firm and strong. After the act I felt a wave of shame wash over me. I recognized that I had committed an atrocity and I knew I had broken my marriage vows. The guilt of what I had done followed me around like a stench. I hated myself for betraying a man that had always loved and cared for me.

The problem I now face is that despite the guilt and the shame I constantly feel, I still yearn to experience another period of sexual bliss with my colleague. I can't help it. I'm torn. I already told my colleague that that one time was the last but deep down I don't want it to be. I know that if I tell my husband about what I did, that it would mark the end of my relationship with my colleague, but I don't know exactly how my husband would receive this information. I don't want him to look at me and see a betrayer of trust; a woman lacking integrity and virtue. No. I even thought of resigning from my job or requesting a transfer so as not to be in close proximity with my colleague but I know that wouldn't solve anything as I still have his social media info and occasionally stalk him(yes I do). I'm so conflicted. I don't know what to do.

REFER your case to REGINA DANIELS for Clarification

Marbella003:
I have a main account but I decided to create this one to post this in order to avoid embarrassment or reveal my identity.

I got married 4 years ago to my husband. He was in his 40s and I was in my 20s. The age difference between us has never really been a problem as we are both educated, well spoken, have similar personalities and share a lot of interests, and as a result we mesh well. My husband is a very caring and thoughtful man. This is one of the traits that made me fall helplessly for him, along with his intelligence and fun personality. I will not reveal anything pertaining to kids as this might punch a hole in my wall of anonymity.

I've always loved my husband and I still do. But I've never really been sexually attracted to him. This is not to say that I find him unattractive. No. He is okay as far as physical appearance goes, but his look has never been the kind to turn me on sexually. To put it plainly, I find that I'm only sexually attracted to young men around my age with tall, athletic bodies and with the energy and agility to please a woman satisfyingly in the bedroom. I met this kind of man in my work place and after we talked a few times I couldn't help but become attracted to him. I realized he was also attracted me, and fast forward to a week ago, we had sex in a hotel room.

I'm ashamed to admit that sex with him was glorious, but it truly was. It was better than anything I had ever done with my husband. I loved how he tossed me around the bed and did stuff to me that my husband doesn't do and I liked how ever part of his body felt firm and strong. After the act I felt a wave of shame wash over me. I recognized that I had committed an atrocity and I knew I had broken my marriage vows. The guilt of what I had done followed me around like a stench. I hated myself for betraying a man that had always loved and cared for me.

The problem I now face is that despite the guilt and the shame I constantly feel, I still yearn to experience another period of sexual bliss with my colleague. I can't help it. I'm torn. I already told my colleague that that one time was the last but deep down I don't want it to be. I know that if I tell my husband about what I did, that it would mark the end of my relationship with my colleague, but I don't know exactly how my husband would receive this information. I don't want him to look at me and see a betrayer of trust; a woman lacking integrity and virtue. No. I even thought of resigning from my job or requesting a transfer so as not to be in close proximity with my colleague but I know that wouldn't solve anything as I still have his social media info and occasionally stalk him(yes I do). I'm so conflicted. I don't know what to do.

sorry to say, you will always remain like this. your wrong decision of marriage will haunt you forever. Change if you would. No good feeling at either end. You stay with your husband and suffer lack of pleasure, you keep with your adulterous life and shatter your virtue. I see no good end here. As a Christian, I will say you stop being adulterous and discuss sex improvement with your husband.
As for the confession part I have nothing to tell you.

a hoe will always be a hoe

the problem here is not even that the op cheated, the problem is that she still plans to cheat again...I have no advice for a hole like u

I would have loved to give a beautiful advice but the did is already done.

You either end whatever you have with your colleague now or you will soon have a broken home and become single again. Remember that most Nigerian men right now find it difficult to marry women who are divorced and already have kids.

Don't distroy your home because of sex. That guy will never marry you being that he knows you are married already and he is somewhere boasting to some friends how he bleeped a married woman in his work place.

Better use your head before its too late.

Women are the most difficult creatures to understand. Very confused lots