Plebian:
I met him at a party, something about his eyes struck me. we exchanged contacts and started talking.

He told me he was bipolar, but I did not think too seriously of it until we got sexual. I realized just how depressed and empty he felt. (an alcoholic too)

I thought in my corky mind I could save him, but I started realizing that his depression was rubbing off on me cos I was falling in love with him.

I decided to give distance, but I really couldn't stay away, he said he loves me but I don't think he fully understands what love is, I let him have his way most of the time. I try to handle his mood swings and multiple personalities, but I feel it's taking a toll on my mental too.

He begs me not to leave him, but he would be emotional distance for days, I am heads over heels in love with him, and I want to help him get better I just don't know how to.

kill him before he kill himself

graciousolo:
I do not respond to post often except in cases like this.

OP, you are a smart person. I can tell that from miles away.

When dealing with mental health issues we have to be careful because it is usually complex. In this case I'll advice you avoid the saviour complex and let him see reasons why he should see a Psychologist or a Psychiatrist. You do this while still showing empathy and reassuring him that you are here for him.

I'll also advise that you see the same psychologist to teach you how to(and how not to) relate with him or read up on it. This is because people tend to be at loss as to how to relate with people with mental health diagnosis for instance they may begin to treat them as if they are fragile and this will have adverse effects.

NB: MentallyAwareNG (find them on google/twitter/IG) offers pro bono mental health services.


Big ups.

Thank you, you've been helpful.

LordKo we need your analysis here

BiggyB242:


Among all the eligible bachelors in Nigeria, you choose to fall in love with a bipolar guy. Why do ladies like stress? They will turn down a good guy then date a womaniser and try make him a good guy.

Firstly, you can't change anyone only if he or she decides to make a U-turn.
Secondly, anytime he treats you like shits he blames it on bipolar. Be awoke sis.

same way they want to marry a black dude but want white children. Confused lots

He is gonna kill u someday if u remain in the relationship

prettysassygirl:
He is gonna kill u someday if u remain in the relationship

He being depressed and suicide doesnt mean he's gonna kill her if she remain in the relationship, something bleeped his life in the past which he cant forget, or maybe he's scared of something, and he believes taking his life is the only way to get away from that thing.

Plebian:
I met him at a party, something about his eyes struck me. we exchanged contacts and started talking.

He told me he was bipolar, but I did not think too seriously of it until we got sexual. I realized just how depressed and empty he felt. (an alcoholic too)

I thought in my corky mind I could save him, but I started realizing that his depression was rubbing off on me cos I was falling in love with him.

I decided to give distance, but I really couldn't stay away, he said he loves me but I don't think he fully understands what love is, I let him have his way most of the time. I try to handle his mood swings and multiple personalities, but I feel it's taking a toll on my mental too.

He begs me not to leave him, but he would be emotional distance for days, I am heads over heels in love with him, and I want to help him get better I just don't know how to.

Walk him to seek help. A psychiatrist will do both of u good.

starstaz:


Walk him to seek help. A psychiatrist will do both of u good.

convincing him is gonna be hard, but ama push through.

Gulher:
To fix him is a psychiatrist's job, not yours. The ability to handle a patient's case without letting it rub off on you is a skill on its own that they teach psychiatrists, social workers, and the like in school.
Playing the psychiatrist may not only worsen his condition, you will be ruined as well.

Hhmmm. This is deep!

Plebian:
convincing him is gonna be hard, but ama push through.

Think you're moved with more of pity than love for him.
How patient and enduring can you be at the sight of provocation and frustration?
Are you a therapist by profession?
With what you typed and I quoted here, you're already seeing the danger but trying to close your eyes on it. Would have been better if he's not alcoholic.
Don't be blinded by love. Someone mentioned that you read up or seek professional counsel on how to handle him, do this and thereafter, weigh it if you can cope with him.

Tedpgrass:
Get him some psych help as as soon as possible.
CBT + drugs to help stabilise his moods..

You need to be careful.. You're his girlfriend not his saviour!! Stop trying to fix.. Helping him to heal is the best you can do in a healthy way.

He also needs to want healing otherwise he sucks the life out of you.

Good luck and take care of your own mental health.


.

I understand what it means to be depressed, and I just stay away from people cos I'd just end up dragging anyone that wants to save me into my abyss. You really can't save someone that is depressed and gone. It's difficult.

starstaz:
Walk him to seek help. A psychiatrist will do both of u good.

Is there a difference between a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist?
Which of the two is better in this situation?

BTW, how far with the OP's lover boy?

Plebian:
Nah I have had my own fair share of infatuations, this is different, what I feel for him is more motherly.

I bet you really are enjoying the sex.

anonimi:


Is there a difference between a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist?
Which of the two is better in this situation?

BTW, how far with the OP's lover boy?

Thank u for ur Query or Quest,

A psychiatrist is Doctor of Medicine , in fact , a specialist in d field of mental health. And is certified by his training to deliver a psychotherapy session.

A psychotherapist on the other hand is not necessarily a doctor of medicine but a psychologist, whose training is of course psychotherapy. thanks.