Are you brain damaged? Why would you waste your time trying to get even with him? You need to take a walk! And all you are keeping malice over is him having a girlfriend in America? Not even that he sleeps with his own blood sister? Are you so unattractive that you cannot find another man? Oh please your pissing me off with your nonsense.

He

After the 7 years, you're going to be alone with him. Forget the plans.

Bottomline: Are you happy with him?
2) Can you stand his infidelity?

If your answer to both is 'Yes'. I wish you good luck as long as you remember to use raincoat o!

I dont know poster, maybe you dont see your worth. Why do you hate yourself so much to stay with this maniac? Trust me you will find better men to marry. Not this useless fool you are groveling over. He doesnt deserve your love or attention. So what if it has been 7 years. Tell him to F*UCK off!

omotee you have a big heart for you to have forgiven him u should have left as well but why do you feel pips should praise u for this when you are acting like you have psycho probs.7yrs is not forever do you knw y I am mad at you?I am afraid you are the kind of woman that will look the other way while this guy of yours sleeps wit his daughters just to keep your marriage.If you were a good person you would have found a way to save the sis by somehow letting the parents knw.He prolly started having sex wit her when she was too young to knw the diff btw rt and wrong and here you are quietly encouraging the act just to keep a man.
How old is the sister?
One day the sis who considers herself his wife will kill u with poison.This act is a wicked thing of the highest order and he may most likely not marry you cos you knw too much and if he does its cos he knws you will accept the crap he is dishing out.bet your life on this he will sleep wit your daughters and continue sleeping wit his sister till whenever.Worst part is you are now a monster with your silence.
Pls leave him he does not deserve a sane woman atleast not yet until he cleans up his act.You have not lost seven years but with this knowledge you have gained the rest of your life.have courage to leave no matter how old you are take a leap of faith and stop being a coward.I knw how you are tinking but u need to walk away

omotee4u:

He who wears d shoes knows where it pinches. I don't blame u all. My beef with him is not abt d girl but because she brings back memories of his act with his sister. He said he started d relationship wt d girl cos he felt I was going to leave him when I got to know abt his incest. U are all detaching urself from dis story b4 u respond. Take a minute, imagine urself in a 7yrs r'ship wt formal plans for marriage and then dis. Don't I get any credit at all?

Don't be blinded by the word "Marriage" it is a very serious commitment and you ought to be smart about it.
It isn't just a title. You are just going for the Mrs bit and not thinking about what happens afterwards.
You lack self esteem and you need to work on that first as you can't truly love another without loving yourself unconditionally first.

Make the right decision about this or suffer the consequences. I wonder why you'd even think to marry this man after
all you know. WOW!

omotee4u:

He who wears d shoes knows where it pinches. I don't blame u all. My beef with him is not abt d girl but because she brings back memories of his act with his sister. He said he started d relationship wt d girl cos he felt I was going to leave him when I got to know abt his incest. U are all detaching urself from dis story b4 u respond. Take a minute, imagine urself in a 7yrs r'ship wt formal plans for marriage and then dis. Don't I get any credit at all?

My dear what credit do you want us to give to you? That you have been in a relationship that is as abusive as this for seven years or what (Or you dont think this is abusive?). How can remain with this guy? I wud not tell you to leave this guy because its obvious you still want to continue the relationship. But think of this, a guy that forked his sister might also sleep with your daugthers when you eventually get married and have kids. A guy that started an affair because he felt you were leaving him when he was even at fault will keep strings of affairs after your marriage because he wont be so sure of what to think of you, since you were so daft as to continue with him after all that you have found out. If you are soo afraid that you do not want to throw away a seven year old relationship then pls get ready for a married life of trouble and unhappiness. A relationship that is broken is better than a broken marriage. Be wise my friend, he is definately not the end of the world, you just might be blocking your chances of meeting the good guys out there. Forget about the long term relationship, because  if he is that serious about the marrying you, you wud have been married by now, introduction done since sept last year, a year gone by now and no wedding, wise ooo

Jesus!

i see no reason why some people are getting themselves worked up cos it's so obvious the poster aint ready to leave the guy. wth her responses, i want to blv she still loves the guy (i doubt if it's the normal love anyway) and she has 4given him once again or in the process of doing that.

@poster, this aint a matter of giving credit but it has to do with your life. u are talking about 7years that has gone by when we are looking at u spending the rest of your life with someone who sleeps wit his sister and is not showing any sign of ending this heinous anytime soon. If u are cool with forgiving him anytime he wrongs u, then stick to him and marry him quickly but i want u to know that the 7years you are shouting about is nothing compared to spending your entire life with him. give it some thouhg dear.

all the best.

@ poster

I understand your plight. I mean seven years is not seven months! But listen, you are focusing on the wrong thing her.

You shd be thinking of the future, not past.

Think about what could happen, seven years from now when your husband thinks your little girl is really really cute . . . His own daughter! Trust me, men are not like that. Not every guy cheats around or sleeps with their sister. Your BF is not normal and pls don't let him make you as twisted as he is.

Better late than sorry!

oh my poor girl!!! I am so sad for you. You are lost as lost can be!!! I understand you love him but you need to take a step back from this and see it differently. You are in danger. He doesnt love you and the kind of personality that would sleep with his sister is not good in anyway for you. No one is really calling you names. They are concerned for you. You had to know during the 7 years something was off. You cant find the right man for you while you are bothering with him. It sounds like you need to take a break and work on yourself. Please i beg you to focus on you right now and you will see it all clearly.

Poster, it seems 2 me u re d only one on the other side. Ok Reverse scenario; lets assume u re d one sleeping wt ur elder brother, having an "offshore romance", and other unthinkable stuffs, do u see dis guy forgivin u? Don`t be deceived, there are ppl who had worse case than urs and still ended happier quitting d r/ship. An older cousin of mine dated a guy for 10yrs dat didn`t end up in marriage. Now she`s in d UK happily married with kids.

These are red flags for u 2 see d direction of ur future wt dis guy. U will be ruined wt dis man n come back 2 dis same forum asking "what do I do?". A word is enuf 4 d wise. I join those asking u to leave. Pick race.

Seek councelling from ur priest(s)/pastor/imam or a mentor. Lastly, go on ur knees and prayer like ur life depends on it for the good Lord to deliver u. Best of luck

Tell him dat he needs to get his d1ck shot off 4 good. Pls poster don't allow love to make u loathe the rest of ur life.

Hang in there, Darling.  
Just when You've had enough and can no longer sustain, You wouldn't need advice on what to do.

^^^ Did you change your username

Funny enough, There's more sibling *** going down than we allow ourselves to believe 

Lord have Mercy!

@omotee4u; I almost did not reply this post becos i was crying as i read your story. From the deepest part of me, i feel VERY sad for you, i feel so sad becos i know right now, you are not really interested in any advice that has to do with your leaving behind a man who molest his sister, A lot of people have posted words of advice for you to meditate on, but are you ready to heed those words? You are hurting becos the man in question is not hiding his affairs with other ladies from you not becos you can see that you are in an abusive relationship, I'm glad somebody mentioned years to you-well if you're worried about years, let me tell you my own story but not on your post. I will just say we dated for 13years, we are not married and we don't see anymore, If you wouldn't mind i will like to meet you, i think i might be able to help you but ONLY if you are ready to be helped. MOST pains and tears go away but EMOTIONAL ABUSE NEVER leave a normal person behind. If you are what you have said you are(a loving person), you will NEVER have a child for this man becos your child or children will ALWAYS be TRAUMATISED by what your husband would do to them. I'm talking from experience, If you can look beyond YOU, You will SAVE another soul, most likely, YOUR daughter's, Untill you say ' I CAN' , you won't. All the best girl.

This is a sick relationship.
He is a demented person dat sees nothing wrong in incest.
Just think about ur daughters who will b molested by their father. Why would u want them to go thru dat trauma becos u cant walk out of a 7 year old relationship?
Am shocked.

Ujujoan:

^^^ Did you change your username   

I had to.

Omotee4u: Since you use the 'Pinch shoe" proverb, then use it to solve this issue at once!


1. when you go shoe shopping you select the shoe you want the most -this guy for instance.

2. You try on the shoe to make sure it fits-so far, this guy seems like the right guy.

3. You notice that the shoe pinches while walking around -Do you still purchase the ill fitted shoe? In your case you embrace this bad dude/shoe.

4. You've purchase the shoe and have worn it til they're battered- Do you still wear them till your feet are exposed because you've had them for years? People are laughing at you for wearing old, broken shoes and think you're a victim of proverty.

See where this is going? You "man" is an ill human. You want to live a life with "it" because he's all you've had for seven years, while disregarding the facts that you've been exposed to. He maybe out molesting children and you will not be immuned when justice makes a call to your door. Don't be fooled his family knows about the family rammming going on and will not want you or any outsiders in the family, move on chic! move on.

Ur points.

Omotee4U: It dosen't matter when it began, It-Is-What-It-Is!! Let me be straight up with you. When it comes to sex by force or by incest there is ZERO excuse for it. You keep trying to grow flowers and fruits out of a cesspoool, You'll never get bloosoms or roots. Your man is a PERVERT!!!!!!! The sister and brother have been ramming like ungodly creatures for years! Adult siblings don't all of a sudden have sex with each other! Either yu have a tree root growing in your face why yu are so presistent to hold on to this subhuman OR you have some Un-Natural burden of your own why you feel the need to associate yourself with such ranglings.

This world is big and full of men, Find one! Remember the members of this board who have forewarned you! YOU are setting up a situation for an unborn boy or girl child to be molested by yu man and their auntie. Also, you've been warned that you may be poisoned or properly thrashed by said Sister-In-Law/Bed Mate.

Are you three sleeping together Something NO Right!

abeg maq una leave this poster.I hav no sympathy for fools.This is a clear case of incest & the poster continues to maq excuses for the beast in a bid to gain sympathy.Well i'v got news for u;u ain't gettin none frm me.If u insist on sticking with this brute creature then i wish u all the best

omotee4u:

your points are well taken and they have given me strength like never before. To make my story interesting, hear this: he was not forcing his sister. They started as adults when she said she was afraid to sleep alone in her room one night and had to go to his. I confronted her with it and she said I should just keep praying 4 dem. Evrybody in their family (immediate and extended) knows about it and has not been on speaking terms with d guy cos they think he should have behaved better. Am not making excuses 4 him o, am just letting u know how much of an I've been.

Everybody give a standing ovation for this omugo omotee. Now you are taking his side that it's not his fault, so your prayers were not answered. When the same God told you to flee from all youthful lust. Your boyfriend was busy doing (may be still doing)her sister. Are you that bad in bed that you cannot satisfy him. His he that ugly that he can't get it somewhere else.
So you want to put yourself in a situation that no family would be able to come to your house. putting ur life and that of unborn children at risk.

it's like u have made up your mind to go ahead but some future evil can easily be averted if we use our head.

If you are tooo scared to be lonely and u need emotional attachment, there are plenty guys that can give u reprieve.

Yes, he might be ur first love, he might be d one u lost ur virginity to but sincerely this man does not worth the whole care are giving to him.

the beauty of life is to love and to beloved.

madam you need God"s help now that you have tried to help the sick kids and they dont want it.GET OUT OF THE SICK TRIANGLE.since the whole family knws abt it (a lie) and they tolerate it he expects u to tolerate it too.