LOW SELF ESTEEM
“… Leah was hated…” (Genesis 29: 31).
Leah was the first wife of Jacob who was given to him as wife by his uncle Laban who was also Leah’s father. The opening verse said Leah was hated especially by her husband, she was treated with contempt and automatically, it affected her both psychologically and emotionally because she her younger sister Rachel, was loved by the same man, yet, this same man who called himself her husband could not love her. She felt she needed to be loved just like her sister was because no woman married to a man would want to be hated by her husband. Giving birth to her husband’s first child and son was a spotlight for her to let go of low self esteem but she wasn’t still loved by him. What a sad story!
Verse 33 of the same chapter said
“… Because the LORD has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also…”
She felt her husband would love her after giving birth to three sons (verse 34) but her husband didn’t love her (chapter 30:15). This shows that giving birth to sons and daughters doesn’t keep a man because Rachel had no child yet, she was greatly loved. Not only was she affected emotionally, it also diminished her self esteem. This brings the issue of low self esteem to mind.
WHAT IS LOW SELF ESTEEM?
Self esteem is a confidence in one’s own worth or abilities. Therefore, low self esteem is a lack of confidence in one’s own abilities and a bad feeling about oneself. Low self esteem can be caused by;
Dwelling on your flaws: this is as a result of being conscious of your flaws and weaknesses.
Taking the negative words people say about you to heart: Leah felt she was married to Jacob because custom demanded that the eldest daughter was to get married before the younger. However, Jacob chose to marry Rachel (though she was the younger daughter and her elder sister was unmarried) instead of Leah because he found the desired qualities he wanted in her.
Leah had her own beautiful qualities and abilities and there was a man who could have loved her for her own abilities if she was not given to Jacob based on tradition. The sad part of this story is the fact that Leah did not discover her qualities and abilities and could not be confident in herself, instead, she dwelt on her flaws and had the notion that her sister was better than her, which was one of the reasons her husband could not love her.
One way or the other, we have all heard negative words about ourselves, people have used our flaws and weaknesses as means to spite us, yet, we take all these to heart. Did you know that self esteem does not only affect the mind but the brain also? It weakens the ‘road’ (a term in neurosurgery which is responsible for the intelligent quotient and some forms of reasoning). It is true that no man is perfect, we all have weaknesses and are prone to mistakes nut it is also true that we can correct our mistakes and work our weaknesses to become strengths.
Going down the memory lane, I discovered that when I was growing up, in a bid for parents and elders to correct us and make us change from bad to good, they often compared us to other kids doing well or say abusive words to us. You hear statements like; ‘can’t you be like that boy, can’t you use your head, why are you this foolish, dull, stupid’ and so on.
Yet, it didn’t really make us change. Instead, we began to live our lives to please these people in order to get their good remarks. However, some children were so affected that their self esteem was diminished from childhood. I have a friend who sees himself as being useless, and when I asked why, he said “my father tells me I am useless everyday”. It took the grace of God to let him realize he wasn’t useless. Most children who have been affected this way; do not find someone who would have told them that they actually have their own unique qualities and should be confident in their abilities; rather, they are made to dwell in their flaws and weaknesses.
Even among youths today, many have been victims of low self esteem due to many reasons such as;
Being the broke or poor one among rich friends, not having money to buy things like their friends
Being the dull one in class, being that child that is always booed in class
Being that one who cannot just do anything right.
Low self esteem has many effects such as depression, insecurity, crime and in extreme cases suicide. However, low self esteem can be stopped; we can stop being its victims. Here’s the good news;
God understood mankind so well that He prepared everything he (man) needed for his survival. God understood the issue of self esteem – low self esteem that He gave about 66 verses in the Bible to let us know that we are to be confident in our abilities and qualities and not wallow in low self esteem. Songs of Solomon 4:7 says
“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you”
God called us His love, He said we are beautiful, so you should not feel bad when people call you ugly or body shame you because your Maker and Creator said you are altogether beautiful, everything thing about you is beautiful. He further said there is no flaw in you. Although we have flaws, but through Christ we can overcome them. He said in His word that we can do all things through Christ that strengthens us. He also said that His grace is sufficient even when we are working on our flaws and weaknesses. Glory to God!

Now, the big question is, how do we overcome low self esteem?
Make a list of the good qualities you have and be confident in your abilities. If you feel you do not have any good quality, trust God to help you find your qualities remembering God’s word in Songs of Solomon 4:7.
Tell the Lord to strengthen and help you work on your weaknesses and help you convert those weaknesses to strengths.
Do not live your life pleasing others in order to be like them or to be accepted by them. Reason being that YOU ARE SPECIAL, YOU ARE GOD’S OWN PURCHASE, and BOUGHT WITH A PRICE. YOU ARE BORN OF A KING. YOU ARE YOU!
Surround yourself with things that make you happy. Nobody should dictate your happiness. You deserve to be happy.
Lastly, never let the bad, evil and negative talks by others about you get to you. Their bad statements should not count. They should not be the base for your life, instead, let God be the base for your life.
THANKS FOR READING
I PRAYTHAT AS MANY AS WILL READ THIS ARTICLE WILL BE BLESSED.