Preshy561:

Just take a look at you.
That woman should leave your cheating ass asap.
Wonder whoever that's giving you this likes to continue disgracing yourself online.
Shameless isn't it?

Lol easier said than done. This particular man is loaded and a real man. Real men cheat

zeb04:
save it for your wife Oga sir.

I’m giving you advice now. Better listen and stop being emotional unless your husband is a weakling who would not throw you out for cheating

Hehe bukatyne has cum

Preshy561:

Just take a look at you.
That woman should leave your cheating ass asap.
Wonder whoever that's giving you this likes to continue disgracing yourself online.
Shameless isn't it?

Being sincere is now a crime right? U are single & knows nothing about marriage OK. Face ur boyfriend, girlfriend matter. When u're wise enough,..The gods will notify you.

Optimus212:


Being sincere is now a crime right? U are single & knows nothing about marriage OK. Face ur boyfriend, girlfriend matter. When u're wise enough,..The gods will notify you.

@OP, I will be back.

bukatyne:


@OP, I will be back.

We are waiting . my fingers crossed

Optimus212:


Being sincere is now a crime right? U are single & knows nothing about marriage OK. Face ur boyfriend, girlfriend matter. When u're wise enough,..The gods will notify you.

the side chick you were sleeping with, no be boyfriend/ girlfriend matter she they do before you started licking plate.

Only God knows the number of Lagos Agberos that deposited there before you came to lick plate.

Anyways, I no judge you oh. Carry on. Oga sir.

Planet3xi:



We are waiting . my fingers crossed

Hahahahaha

I wish I could decipher your previous moniker.

bukatyne:


Hahahahaha

I wish I could decipher your previous moniker.

Come meet the real person. Which would it be. Chicken republic. Mega Chicken or A local restaurante. I know a Lady that makes the most tender and sumptuous meat on the island.

Optimus212:

Hi Nairalanders....Please Admin, help me push to Front Page, i'm in dire need of people's opinions.

Pls ignore my writing skills because the way the matter be, my head dey shake like this.

My story is brief.

I am married to my wife & we're blessed with 3 kids,
..My wife starves me of sex over minor issues, even when we've settled by my apologies & me assisting remarkably well in house chores.
There was a period 2 years back she starved me of sex for 4 months because of one little misunderstanding we had back then which was unbearable for me & made me to cheat on her,..And my relationship lasted for more than a year with that lady.

Right now she (my wife) has started again with same attitude, its going to a month now. I am confused because I don't want to cheat on her again. What do i do? Should i keep facing such punishment? For how long? Or, should i file for a divorce? Don't you think such attitude will have reoccurrences in time coming?. It is disturbing me badly because I find it difficult to be sleeping alone at nite without her by my side. I have begged & begged her to let whatever anger towards me that is deposited in her to just die off, yet to no avail. The funny thing is, we'll discuss and play very well before going to bed but, whenever I start making advances towards her, she shows up a different attitude.

I am confused!! It is really really disturbing me. How & where did I go wrong?.

Pls, matured advices only, you can insult me too, of course its Nairaland but, I need serious advice, I am very worried.
Thanks.

I am happy you have realized that adultery kills a marriage so we know that is a no.

From all your posts on this thread, I would say that you have a healthy libido and you are still sexual interested in your wife (I would guess she is still sexy/good looking).

Your wife knows this and has decided to make it a weapon.

I do not know what the problem is however, of she can laugh with you and relate normally till it is time for sex, then it is a non-issue except if she is psychotic or she has issues with your sexual performance.

You know why playing with her, doing more chores etc. Would not work in your case? Because you are rewarding bad behavior. She misbehaves and you keep dancing round to please her. It has registered that if I sexual starve my husband, he will bend over to please me.

If the issues she had with you was not giving her attention or not helping with chores etc, the above would have helped.

Don't just reward bad behavior in your spouse.

What is the solution?
1. Engage her once again, apologize for breaching the trust in your marriage and assure her that you have never cheated again. Whatever the issues are, look into them genuinely and adjust where needed.

If she does not change, then:

Learn how to control yourself sexually. It will be hard however, don't let her feel you cannot do without her.

Stop playing with her or giving her attention. If she ignores your sexual needs, ignore her need for attention and learn to be self sufficient. If she wouldn't cook, feed yourself. Whatever leverage she has on you, learn to provide or beat it.

By now, she would start trying to get your attention by throwing more tantrums... Let her be. If she offers you sex because she is turned on, don't oblige her.

If you do not care about your appearance prior to now, please do. Change your haircut, mode of dressing, get good cologne etc.

When she finally comes around genuinely (not because she needs sex or something else), respectfully lay down the ground rules. If she has issues with you, discussion is the way to go.

Now, if after first engagement, she says your sex life is the problem, get self help books on sex and seduction and up your game in the bedroom.

In all of this, do not cheat or behave in any manner that you will have a blame.

Couples should not treat sex as a treat or reward. It is a duty (I am even taking live out of the equation) you pledged to do.

Goodluck.

Newly married obviously. revisit your statements few years from now

zeb04:


Very married.

bukatyne:


I am happy you have realized that adultery kills a marriage so we know that is a no.

From all your posts on this thread, I would say that you have a healthy libido and you are still sexual interested in your wife (I would guess she is still sexy/good looking).

Your wife knows this and has decided to make it a weapon.

I do not know what the problem is however, of she can laugh with you and relate normally till it is time for sex, then it is a non-issue except if she is psychotic or she has issues with your sexual performance.

You know why playing with her, doing more chores etc. Would not work in your case? Because you are rewarding bad behavior. She misbehaves and you keep dancing round to please her. It has registered that if I sexual starve my husband, he will bend over to please me.

If the issues she had with you was not giving her attention or not helping with chores etc, the above would have helped.

Don't just reward bad behavior in your spouse.

What is the solution?
1. Engage her once again, apologize for breaching the trust in your marriage and assure her that you have never cheated again. Whatever the issues are, look into them genuinely and adjust where needed.

If she does not change, then:

Learn how to control yourself sexually. It will be hard however, don't let her feel you cannot do without her.

Stop playing with her or giving her attention. If she ignores your sexual needs, ignore her need for attention and learn to be self sufficient. If she wouldn't cook, feed yourself. Whatever leverage she has on you, learn to provide or beat it.

By now, she would start trying to get your attention by throwing more tantrums... Let her be. If she offers you sex because she is turned on, don't oblige her.

If you do not care about your appearance prior to now, please do. Change your haircut, mode of dressing, get good cologne etc.

When she finally comes around genuinely (not because she needs sex or something else), respectfully lay down the ground rules. If she has issues with you, discussion is the way to go.

Now, if after first engagement, she says your sex life is the problem, get self help books on sex and seduction and up your game in the bedroom.

In all of this, do not cheat or behave in any manner that you will have a blame.

Couples should not treat sex as a treat or reward. It is a duty (I am even taking live out of the equation) you pledged to do.

Goodluck.

God bless U real good.

As for d mode of dressing & looks, I believe am at d top of my game, one of d things she brags to outsiders about. She always compliment my fashion sense & extra great taste for good colognes which she says I spend fortunes on.

As for sexual performances, by God's grace am blessed sexually which she can also attest to.

I am still trying to figure out why these acts, she's complaining I use to insult her. My brother, is cautioning someone insult? There are things I don't like, if I take drastic measures or refuses to adhere to her suggestions, she gets mad & later uses sex as a weapon against me. I cnt be pleading to a woman I legally married for sex, its un-manly. I have stopped all advances, let's see where this her pride will lead us to. Its jst that I dnt want to go out again cos of d kids.
But I'll try to resist her for as long as I can. Thank God i have something doing. I have my own firm.

bukatyne:

Healthy living advisor extraordinaire.

Kudos.

bukatyne:


Hahahahaha

I wish I could decipher your previous moniker.

My apologiesm didn't know you was married.

Optimus212:


1. God bless U real good.

2. As for d mode of dressing & looks, I believe am at d top of my game, one of d things she brags to outsiders about. She always compliment my fashion sense & extra great taste for good colognes which she says I spend fortunes on.

3. As for sexual performances, by God's grace am blessed sexually which she can also attest to.

4. I am still trying to figure out why these acts, she's complaining I use to insult her. My brother, is cautioning someone insult? There are things I don't like, if I take drastic measures or refuses to adhere to her suggestions, she gets mad & later uses sex as a weapon against me.

5. I cnt be pleading to a woman I legally married for sex, its un-manly. I have stopped all advances, let's see where this her pride will lead us to. Its jst that I dnt want to go out again cos of d kids.

6. But I'll try to resist her for as long as I can. Thank God i have something doing. I have my own firm.

1. You are welcome

2. Good one

3. Hmmmmm

4. We are not there when you 'cautioned' her so yes, correction if not done respectfully and in love will be disrespectful. I would have said maybe she felt disrespected however, playing with you till it's time for sex is odd. As per suggestions, depends on what it is on, how your family is run, validity of previous suggestions and stakeholders in the matter.

5. I agree it is unbecoming for anyone to beg their spouse for sex. It is abnormal.

6. Good for you.

LordKO:


Healthy living advisor extraordinaire.

Kudos.

Gracias.

Optimus212:


Being sincere is now a crime right? U are single & knows nothing about marriage OK. Face ur boyfriend, girlfriend matter. When u're wise enough,..The gods will notify you.

When last did you buy madam gifts? Or do a family hangout?

ThundrCork:
Newly married obviously. revisit your statements few years from now

Badt

Planet3xi:



My apologiesm didn't know you was married.

It's all good.

Optimus212:


God bless U real good.

As for d mode of dressing & looks, I believe am at d top of my game, one of d things she brags to outsiders about. She always compliment my fashion sense & extra great taste for good colognes which she says I spend fortunes on.

As for sexual performances, by God's grace am blessed sexually which she can also attest to.

I am still trying to figure out why these acts, she's complaining I use to insult her. My brother, is cautioning someone insult? There are things I don't like, if I take drastic measures or refuses to adhere to her suggestions, she gets mad & later uses sex as a weapon against me. I cnt be pleading to a woman I legally married for sex, its un-manly. I have stopped all advances, let's see where this her pride will lead us to. Its jst that I dnt want to go out again cos of d kids.
But I'll try to resist her for as long as I can. Thank God i have something doing. I have my own firm.

I really feel what you are going through in your marriage.Personally,and as a Christian i think it's wrong and a sin to deny a partner sex in marriage without any tenable reason(medical or spiritual circumstances). Can you confirm with all sense of certainty that your wife didn't engage in sexual intercourse for 13months?

Optimus212:


She still believes am cheating on her ever since d last destructive experience she had but before God and man, I am not cheating on her. Whenever she accuses me, I sometimes accept just to get her mad, d accusations don tire me. And she does not like it when I shout madly at her but brotherly, I am d man of d house, I gast show her dat am in charge nau.

1. Gain back the trust you've lost.
2. Stop yelling at her.

The two of you should communicate your needs better.

Planet3xi:




When last did you buy madam gifts? Or do a family hangout?

I doubt he hasn't done this countless number of times.I want the op to reply my mention first before i say my mind.

Jorussia:
I doubt he hasn't done this countless number of times.I want the op to reply my mention first before i say my mind.

Yesterday was his wife. Today we will deal with him together. . Ayam wait ing for his response too

Op you call it minor issues, what type of minor issue will keep a woman bitter for months? I don't get it you two discuss and laugh together but when it comes to sex she says no? I believe u just don't do it right when it comes to sex and she lost interest in it, not like she's keeping malice over minor issues she's only using it as an excuse, hope you are not a 40sc man, cause 40s men irritate women

Jorussia:
I really feel what you are going through in your marriage.Personally,and as a Christian i think it's wrong and a sin to deny a partner sex in marriage without any tenable reason(medical or spiritual circumstances). Can you confirm with all sense of certainty that your wife didn't engage in sexual intercourse for 13months?

I don't know but, I didn't engage her sexually for 13 months, then she was with child (my second child's pregnancy).

Immediately I noticed she was pregnant, I didn't meet her again till 4 months after delivery. Medically, a man should engage in regular sex with his partner whenever she's with child. Though its optional but advisable.

Op bros. Nwanne ayam waiting for the reply to my last question o

Planet3xi:




When last did you buy madam gifts? Or do a family hangout?

1. As for surprise gifts,....very regular.

2. Outing is also regular, both with the kids.

My worry is, is it that I can't get angry or disagree sometimes agressively with her options? Because I have noticed whenever we have such arguments is when she uses it against me or is she been immature in marriage? but she ain't no kid, a married graduate with kids, not 1 nor 2 but 3. She ought to have learnt or somehow be experienced in a way in marital issues.

Anyways, am just keeping calm at d moment & have restricted myself from making any advances of sex towards her.
Let her use her head & judge herself. I believe with time, her reset button will be activated. I can't be begging my own wife for sex, for what?? That's improper!!

Optimus212:


1. As for surprise gifts,....very regular.

2. Outing is also regular, both with the kids.

My worry is, is it that I can't get angry or disagree sometimes agressively with her options? Because I have noticed whenever we have such arguments is when she uses it against me or is she been immature in marriage? but she ain't no kid, a married graduate with kids, not 1 nor 2 but 3. She ought to have learnt or somehow be experienced in a way in marital issues.

Anyways, am just keeping calm at d moment & have restricted myself from making any advances of sex towards her.
Let her use her head & judge herself. I believe with time, her reset button will be activated. I can't be begging my own wife for sex, for what?? That's improper!!

She loves you that's why shes doing al this sir Women sha. Once they know their men is calm and collected them don't overpower you be that. Many people can't be consistent with of d treatment without self destructing.

Gbpereluvmama:

sex is an emotional food. A married men that is sexually satisfied becomes emotionally stable, once he's emotionally stable, he's family enjoys him. U have cheated before and u know the effects on ur marriage, there's nothing worth the destruction of ur marriage. Don't even try to cheat, its not worth it. Its ur wife, there are some things only u know about her that no one knows and that's why u chose her among all the thousand women in this world. There's also sth with wives generally, if de know ur weakness, they use it against u. Ur a boss, u have a competitive market, invest ur time in research and other things for now, then also control ur thoughts, always be conscious of sexual thoughts and push them aside, with time u won't give a damn about sex. once she knows u don't beg her for sex any longer no matter how long, then she will stop using sex as a weapon to punish u. just an advice to a brother in the MMA( married men association). Remember divorce is not an option.

GOD Bless U real good bro.

Noted!!

Optimus212:


I don't know but, I didn't engage her sexually for 13 months, then she was with child (my second child's pregnancy).

Immediately I noticed she pregnant, I didn't meet her again till 4 months after delivery. Medically, a man should engage in regular sex with his partner whenever she's with child. Though its optional but advisable.

My brother the truth is this your matter is very delicate.Either your wife has a very low sex drive/libido or she is discreetly getting sexual satisfaction outside in a very intelligent manner.I urge you to do a thorough background check on your wife before ruling out any possibility of infidelity on her side.For a Lady to comfortably be with her husband without sex for 13months under the same roof with or without pregnancy is not ordinary.

Planet3xi:



She loves you that's why shes doing al this sir Women sha. Once they know their men is calm and collected them don't overpower you be that. Many people can't be consistent with of d treatment without self destructing.

Women too like petting. A friend of mine posted this too on Facebook in a marriage Forum, na so so pet pet pet & prayers prayers, dem just dey talk say make I dey pet her. Is she a baby? For how long should I continue petting her, it is the same petting that I have been doing that is warranting this her attitude.

This is reality, it is a psychological issue not spiritual. I think am getting the best advises here on Nairaland than that Facebook of a thing. Its jst as if the people here are different in terms of Wisdom.

Optimus212:


Women too like petting. A friend of mine posted this too on Facebook in a marriage Forum, na so so pet pet pet & prayers prayers, dem just dey talk say make I dey pet her. Is she a baby? For how long should I continue petting her, it is the same petting that I have been doing that is warranting this her attitude.

This is reality, it is a psychological issue not spiritual. I think am getting the best advises here on Nairaland than that Facebook of a thing. Its jst as if the people here are different in terms of Wisdom.

i


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