I looked at the pills in my shivering hands. Everything I had worked for, everything I had achieved, now burnt down to the twelve pills that would decide my fate. I looked up and saw a woman in the mirror. A woman with perfect makeup, expensive weave-on that fell down loosely in waves, a shiny silver necklace, an emotionless face and cold, calculating eyes. I blinked, she also blinked.

Yes, that woman was me, Mrs. Ruth Udoji, owner and manager of the Salonica Fashionista, wife to the number one business tycoon in the country, the man who was known to be successful at anything he laid his hands on, Mr. George Udoji. I was famous, my husband was famous, even my children who were just in primary school were beginning to obtain a level of popularity in the country. I had practically everything I had ever wished for when I was young; a good job, a big and homely house, lots of cars lining the garage, a good family with a perfect husband and adorable kids.

Yet, why doesn’t it feels complete? Why has the gaping hole refused to disappear? It has been there for as long as I can remember. It had driven me to look for things that would fill it up with the feelings it sought. Yet why does it only gets wider with everything I achieve? After searching for forty-three years for something I didn’t understand, something that would finally ease the deep ache within me, I still felt the emptiness I had felt initially when I began to seek complete and utter happiness.

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