2special:
and you also involve your own family members while going.

i don't know how his family would react, I really don't want my family to know till I sort it out with his, thanks

Please don't have an abortion please.....so.many people out there want children but can't, yet God blessed you with a wonderful pregnancy, it doesn't matter how it was conceived....that child that might be the future of this country,r he star if his generation...never abort, besides the dude who got you pregnant is immature it seems he was with you just for the bleeps.

Ejusni:
Please don't have an abortion please.....so.many people out there want children but can't, yet God blessed you with a wonderful pregnancy, it doesn't matter how it was conceived....that child that might be the future of this country,r he star if his generation...never abort, besides the dude who got you pregnant is immature it seems he was with you just for the bleeps.

you are right, I know some of my relatives that have been praying for a child and he expects me to kill the one God bless me with, I can't even do that,
If you have sex you need to know that there are risks Involved, so he should man up and take responsibility, thanks

Silverlove1:
Pls mature advice needed and pls no insults, I have already insulted myself enough.

I have already posted about this same guy here last year and I'm sorry for not following your advice

To cut the story short, I have been dating my bf for almost a year now and we always have unprotected sex but he always pulls out and I always take drugs

But I didn't take any last month because he pulled out and too much of contraceptive drugs is not good for the body, I didn't think anything will happen since he didn't cum inside me, my biggest regret.

Last week, I didn't see my period so I used the pt strip test and it was positive, I also went for blood test and it was still positive

I informed him about it and he told me to go for abortion, when I refused he was so mean to me and told me that it's not his business that I should not call or visit him again,
I was so sad, it felt like he literally ripped off my heart, I cried all day, I couldn't stop crying.

So I decided to go for the abortion, when I checked how its done online, I was so scared, I couldn't bring myself to kill a life inside me

So I decided to let his family know even though they don't know me, I called his elder sister to explain after hearing my side she called her brother to confirm and he lied that he just met me and we had sex only once that I have been sleeping with other guys I was so shocked to hear that, because I really love him to the extreme that other guys don't even exist,
I told her that we now have DNA test that I'm not scared because I know that the baby is his, she believed me and told me not to see her parents, that I should settle it with him first

He came to see me and started begging me not to involve his family that I should go for the abortion, but I can't kill my child that was conceived out of love, at least from my own side

I'm just confused because if I tell his parents that would mean marriage and I can't stay in a loveless marriage
Pls advice needed

To be blunt with you, you get it ALL wrong from the beginning.

I have to read your previous thread to have some basic understanding and some information.

IT WAS NEVER YOUR DUTY TO SATISFY HIM SEXUALLY JUST BECAUSE HE CLAIMED TO HAVE HIGH LIBIDO.

Maybe if you had listened to some of the advise given to you earlier in your previous thread, this wouldn't have happen. Maybe when you broke up with him, you should have stood your ground.

But what will happen, will definitely happen.

NOW YOU ARE PREGNANT. I wouldn't support "Abortion" and I wouldn't encourage a man that his not ready to marry you be forced to because of your pregnancy.

There is always a consequence for every action, So I did suggest It is time for you to (WO)MAN UP and take charge of your life. You didn't say if you are a student or working, but YOU NEED TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY since it is obvious from your narration, "HE ONLY WANT SEX" not the result of SEX.

Now that you have the result of having unprotected sex, you need to take charge. DON'T ABORT & NEVER FORCE HIM INTO MARRIAGE.

If you can, I would suggest you keep the baby. It wouldn't be easy, but in the long run that would be the best decision for you.

Any short cut you are considering (ABORTION or LOVELESS MARRIAGE) would be a terrible choice.

If you choose, to go ahead to have the baby and raise the child by yourself, It wouldn't be easy, you would be stigmatized but you would survive and hopeful you had LEARNT YOUR LESSON.

ALL HE EVER WANTED FROM YOU IS SEX, YOU HAVE GIVEN HIM & HE HIS NOT READY TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. YOU CAN'T FORCE HIM TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN "PHYSICAL & MENTAL WELL BEING" IN THE FUTURE.

The best way is the hard way. Take charge, let his people know he his responsible but NEVER EVER AGREE TO ABORT THE BABY OR ENTER INTO A FORCE MARRIAGE.

Also let your parent know, they would be highly disappointed but it has happened already, with time they would adjust but you need to double your hustle.

oluwadamilolah:
Don't abort the baby, keep the baby and raise him/her on your own. Since he doesn't love you let him be, it's a very sad thing to be in a loveless marriage. He might realize he's mistakes and makes amends later you never can tell.

Good advice but is it that easy to raise a child without the support of the father?
What if her parents decides not to support or disown her?
I will advice you try to sort things out with your man and come to reasonable solution.

O boy
This one pass me o

When will you girls have sense??

She is even claiming love after the guy has denied her a.ss.. smh

Abortion means you want to put your life on the line.. if you die, it's your doing. Best of luck!

TheCar:


To be blunt with you, you get it ALL wrong from the beginning.

I have to read your previous thread to have some basic understanding and some information.

IT WAS NEVER YOUR DUTY TO SATISFY HIM SEXUALLY JUST BECAUSE HE CLAIMED TO HAVE HIGH LIBIDO.

Maybe if you had listened to some of the advise given to you earlier in your previous thread, this wouldn't have happen. Maybe when you broke up with him, you should have stood your ground.

But what will happen, will definitely happen.

NOW YOU ARE PREGNANT. I wouldn't support "Abortion" and I wouldn't encourage a man that his not ready to marry you be forced to because of your pregnancy.

There is always a consequence for every action, So I did suggest It is time for you to (WO)MAN UP and take charge of your life. You didn't say if you are a student or working, but YOU NEED TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY since it is obvious from your narration, "HE ONLY WANT SEX" not the result of SEX.

Now that you have the result of having unprotected sex, you need to take charge. DON'T ABORT & NEVER FORCE HIM INTO MARRIAGE.

If you can, I would suggest you keep the baby. It wouldn't be easy, but in the long run that would be the best decision for you.

Any short cut you are considering (ABORTION or LOVELESS MARRIAGE) would be a terrible choice.

If you choose, to go ahead to have the baby and raise the child by yourself, It wouldn't be easy, you would be stigmatized but you would survive and hopeful you had LEARNT YOUR LESSON.

ALL HE EVER WANTED FROM YOU IS SEX, YOU HAVE GIVEN HIM & HE HIS NOT READY TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. YOU CAN'T FORCE HIM TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN "PHYSICAL & MENTAL WELL BEING" IN THE FUTURE.

The best way is the hard way. Take charge, let his people know he his responsible but NEVER EVER AGREE TO ABORT THE BABY OR ENTER INTO A FORCE MARRIAGE.

Also let your parent know, they would be highly disappointed but it has happened already, with time they would adjust but you need to double your hustle.

you are absolutely right, but I guess when they say that love is blind they also forgot to tell us that it make one lose their brains completely, I guess I am among the people that love too much, if it's a crime sue me

My greatest regret was going back to him after I broke up with him, I guess I was already in love with him then, and the mistake has been made

What is annoying me most is that he knows my stand on abortion, I always tell him that I'm never going to do it.

I don't plan to marry him, he has broken my heart beyond repair, so we can't go back to the way we were before

I guess it's now me and my baby, but he would have to provide care for he or she, after all I didn't get myself pregnant
Thanks for your advice

flokii:
When will you girls have sense??

She is even claiming love after the guy has denied her a.ss.. smh

Abortion means you want to put your life on the life.. if you die, it's your doing. Best of luck!

i guess you haven't loved before or else you would understand that it just doesn't go away in a day or two

YOUNGELDER1:



Good advice but is it that easy to raise a child without the support of the father?
What if her parents decides not to support or disown her?
I will advice you try to sort things out with your man and come to reasonable solution.

reasonable solution like what pls, because the only thing he is talking about is how to take me to a doctor for the abortion, no that's not what I want
Thanks

Silverlove1:
i guess you haven't loved before or else you would understand that it just doesn't go away in a day or two

Eyah.. lover gurl

I won't advise anyone to abort cos it's very risky. You can keep the child if you can raise the baby with support from family members

If you don't want the baby abort it, I'd you feel capable of bringing up a child alone in the world don't. beside this would teach you not to have unprotected sex when you're not ready for the repercussions.

Silverlove1:
what if they are complications and I can't give birth later, I will be the one to bear it while he carry on with his life, and how do girls who commit abortion live with the guilt of killing a child u conceived, I'm not sure I can go through it. Thanks

Keep it.

Silverlove1:
Exactly, his family would accept me since he is even the only son, they aren't doing bad, so the cost to take care of the baby isn't the issue,
I don't want to bring my parents into it till I see his parents first, I can't believe guys can be so heartless

that he is the only son or child doesn't mean the family will be willing to accept you or the pregnancy... But if you are fortunate... They may decide to play a financial role in the bringing up of the child... As of marriage... He doesn't love you enough to marry you so that one you are saying that you don't want to get into a loveless marriage is only self consolation... One thing that is most likely to happen is that after the birth of the child, it's only a matter of months or years before he comes back to his senses at least to play a fatherly role even if he will not marry you... From there the second child can come in .. Lol

Sorry for typos

My dear, it's your life, it's your future." Life is what you make out of it".I have a 3years plus baby from a girl friend I love so much. But in your case, answer this question and get sense. Do you think you will have the support from him or his or your family members to raise this innocent soul or do you think this will be a setback in your career or education?
Na you matter pass for now, then the child follow. E go be president tomorrow, so what if na arm robber tomorrow. We live on assumptions.
"LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OUT OF IT "

flokii:


Eyah.. lover gurl

I won't advise anyone to abort cos it's very risky. You can keep the child if you can raise the baby with support from family members

Thanks

See below

SmellingAnus:
that he is the only son or child doesn't mean the family will be willing to accept you or the pregnancy... But if you are fortunate... They may decide to play a financial role in the bringing up of the child... As of marriage... He doesn't love you enough to marry you so that one you are saying that you don't want to get into a loveless marriage is only self consolation... One thing that is most likely to happen is that after the birth of the child, it's only a matter of months or years before he comes back to his senses at least to play a fatherly role even if he will not marry you... From there the second child can come in .. Lol

Sorry for typos

I really am not thinking about marriage now, I just want him receive sense and acknowledge that it's a baby we are talking about, his own blood and not a disposable thing,

I'm still facing the first one and you are wishing me the second one, lol

U keep playing with unprotected sex and unreliable withdrawal method..
Wonder what u were expecting..
Keep the baby..
Just keep it.
E get why..

You have two options here: abort the baby or keep it.

Just as some people have said here, I would not advice you to abort the baby. It should be a personal decision. If you are going to do that you should be ready to face the consequence. However, if you do it and it is successful, you will still go back to the guy for sure and you will not learn any lesson. If it is not successful, you will have learnt the biggest lesson of your life.


Now, assuming you keep the baby, you will also learn a great lesson 'cos the guy will not show you care and love when you need it most. You will feel lonely and bitter. You will hate yourself so much. You may even transfer that hatred towards the child. I must be honest with you, it is not an easy journey.

Besides, you will become a single mother and naturally the number of young, single guys that will be interested in marrying you will decline at an alarming rate. It is the part of the consequence you will face for keeping the baby.

So brace up and face the consequence- it will not kill you, it will make you stronger!

Meanwhile


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Silverlove1:
I really am not thinking about marriage now, I just want him receive sense and acknowledge that it's a baby we are talking about, his own blood and not a disposable thing,

I'm still facing the first one and you are wishing me the second one, lol

Lol... That's how the second one comes... Besides... A time will come you will be the one to demand for the second one... Even when he will not marry you... Don't mind me, some things may be too deep for your age now so let's focus on the present... You actually need a guide in your life that will correct you or point out to you when you are wrong and that will advice you on how to go about things generally if not I am afraid , just update me on how it goes .. I am interested in your matter...

ustanejnr:
My dear, it's your life, it's your future." Life is what you make out of it".I have a 3years plus baby from a girl friend I love so much. But in your case, answer this question and get sense. Do you think you will have the support from him or his or your family members to raise this innocent soul or do you think this will be a setback in your career or education?
Na you matter pass for now, then the child follow. E go be president tomorrow, so what if na arm robber tomorrow. We live on assumptions.
"LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OUT OF IT "

i know that it would definitely be a set back for me, but the issue here is that I can't go through that process, it will guilt ridden me in future and I don't want any blood on my hands

I know say no me first, but I can't live with myself if I do that, I guess I'm too much of a good religious girl

dododawa1:
See below

you haven't even seen the videos then that's when you won't even think about abortion, it looks so sad

SmellingAnus:
Lol... That's how the second one comes... Besides... A time will come you will be the one to demand for the second one... Even when he will not marry you... Don't mind me, some things may be too deep for your age now so let's focus on the present... You actually need a guide in your life that will correct you or point out to you when you are wrong and that will advice you on how to go about things generally if not I am afraid , just update me on how it goes .. I am interested in your matter...

i guess you are right, but I can't tell any of my family members now, I guess with time I will find a guide,
Thanks

Silverlove1:
i know that it would definitely be a set back for me, but the issue here is that I can't go through that process, it will guilt ridden me in future and I don't want any blood on my hands

I know say no me first, but I can't live with myself if I do that, I guess I'm too much of a good religious girl

Hmm, You know the truth in Africa we r too religious we forget the reality of life that's why Africa is poor. We pray for everything.

molybdenum0012:
You have two options here: abort the baby or keep it.

Just as some people have said here, I would not advice you to abort the baby. It should be a personal decision. If you are going to do that you should be ready to face the consequence. However, if you do it and it is successful, you will still go back to the guy for sure and you will not learn any lesson. If it is not successful, you will have learnt the biggest lesson of your life.


Now, assuming you keep the baby, you will also learn a great lesson 'cos the guy will not show you care and love when you need it most. You will feel lonely and bitter. You will hate yourself so much. You may even transfer that hatred towards the child. I must be honest with you, it is not an easy journey.

Besides, you will become a single mother and naturally the number of young, single guys that will be interested in marrying you will decline at an alarming rate. It is the part of the consequence you will face for keeping the baby.

So brace up and face the consequence- it will not kill you, it will make you stronger!

i guess it's as honest as it would get, I made my bed so I need to lie on it, killing an innocent child is a no no for me, so I believe that I have to face the consequences,
Thanks

ustanejnr:



Hmm, You know the truth in Africa we r too religious we forget the reality of life that's why Africa is poor. We pray for everything.

lol, that's definitely true, but religion is already ingrained in us, you can't just stop

Silverlove1:
i know that it would definitely be a set back for me, but the issue here is that I can't go through that process, it will guilt ridden me in future and I don't want any blood on my hands

I know say no me first, but I can't live with myself if I do that, I guess I'm too much of a good religious girl

And you r not a good religious girl. Am not trying to accuse you, but my dear a good religious girl should be a virgin.

ustanejnr:


And you r not a good religious girl. Am not trying to accuse you, but my dear a good religious girl should be a virgin.

do you know if I was one when I met him, I understand your point though

Silverlove1:
do you know if I was one when I met him, I understand your point though

Don't forget I have a baby from my lover, when the preg thing happen and she said" I can't abort it".I told her follow ur heart and I will stand by it.

Sweetheart people will support you hear on nairaland, but the won't be there to play a man role during your pregnancy and after child birth. You will carry your cross alone.

As I said its your life, it's your future in your hands. God will help us. But just reason as an unbeliever in some situations.

ustanejnr:


Don't forget I have a baby from my lover, when the preg thing happen and she said" I can't abort it".I told her follow ur heart and I will stand by it.

Sweetheart people will support you hear on nairaland, but the won't be there to play a man role during your pregnancy and after child birth. You will carry your cross alone.

As I said its your life, it's your future in your hands. God will help us. But just reason as an unbeliever in some situations.

i understand completely, thanks a lot

Silverlove1:
reasonable solution like what pls, because the only thing he is talking about is how to take me to a doctor for the abortion, no that's not what I want
Thanks

Did done already.
Babies are blessings but trust me you don’t want to go through all that without his support or the support of both families.


You scared of abortion & yet having unprotected sex no plan b noting..