I looked around one more time, no one was in sight, the sun was shining at its peak and I can hear the distant sound of cars, I dropped my bag on the large stone behind, then I picked up the shovel, I dug and dug, the ground was hard but it didn’t matter, I dug harder each time and in no time I had a pit deep enough right in front of me

Then I dropped the shovel, I was sweating profusely and was hot from the effect of the sun, I picked up the kerosene and placed right beside the pit, then I sat, opened my bag and picked Up the carefully folded empty piece of paper I had kept for this purpose and my black pen

‘Dear Ex’ I started

I know I have been crying a lot at almost every little thing, I cry at nothing sometimes, I break down at almost anywhere, but it’s time I put a stop to that, I have been living a confused and unsettled life, I built a wall around my heart and no one has been able to penetrate, I run from anyone who tries too hard for the fear that they might succeed, I stopped taking care of my skin and now I have rashes all over my face, my skin is fading and I look very unkempt, I have felt more like a failure in a year than a normal individual should feel for a whole lifetime, it still amazes me how I was strong enough to overlook suicide, well maybe dieing isn’t one of my things, I feel nothing anymore, not sad not happy, I don’t get excited, neither do I get scared, I just live like I don’t

It’s a year since he broke my heart and left me for someone he claimed was like a younger sister to him, I built my dreams around him, my visions with him, I let him take over my life, let him make my decisions, he was my bad habit, I mean I kept up my appearances for him, I cut my hair short, just the way he liked it and slimmed down my diet to keep my shape, the way he loved it, I kept everyone else at a distance so he would feel secure but still, he had the guts to leave without looking back

I have held onto my grieve long enough, I have mourned him enough, my life had been on hold, all my plans were with him and now l have to make new plans, new dreams without him hanging somewhere in between, I trained him and built him to fit into my future, now it’s time to build someone else, time to let go

It’s scary when I think about it, how do I ever get to trust anyone again, I mean I have to start to get to know someone else’s age, name and damn! Favourite colour, didn’t he think for a minute that he might be ruining me by leaving, who spends 5 years promising eternity, just to leave in a day and never look back, but I guess it’s time to face reality, this is reality, my reality.

So I am here to bury my sadness, to bury the relationship I nursed for 5 years, time to say goodbye, time to stop feeling pathetic, he has moved on well enough and I have been holding back, it’s enough, I have cried enough, I have been useless enough, it’s time to rewrite and move on, time to love again.

‘Goodbye’ I wrote in tears, folded the note and threw in the pit, poured a little kerosene and watched my sorrows burn, as the smoke lifted into the air, I felt my heart grow lighter, I Could feel my sadness lift with the smoke, when it was all burnt, i picked up the shovel one more time, I covered the pit with sand and With each heap of sand I whispered, “Go to hell” and as I poured the last heap, i could as better or so I think,

so I picked up my shovel and my bag and headed for the road and as I left without looking back, I hoped and hoped that with this, I would be able to start again, and I had said my good radiance to that bad rubbish, I really hoped that my psychologist was right

This place is a clutch!,Even books are here?!

CANlBUS:
This place is a clutch!,Even books are here?!

what do you mean

Short but interesting