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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. (3183 Views)
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Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by sisisioge: 12:30am On Jun 10, 2019 |
deltateam: You apparently can't read well. Please stay off my mentions. Good night. 1 Like |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by deltateam: 12:34am On Jun 10, 2019 |
sisisioge: Don't tell anyone they are too young to do anything again and don't give false promises. 1 Like |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Esthered: 3:17am On Jun 10, 2019 |
Imogenn: There's nothing like undesirable age as someone stated earlier. From your former post, I think you're a church goer but you should be conversant with the Word as it's the man's duty to find and you preparing yourself to be found by getting better emotionally, financially.... I hope you're not someone who thinks she must be in a relationship to be complete and at all points in time, you never want to be single. Singleness is a very good chapter in everyone's life and it's your duty to make the most of it. What achievements will you show your kids to spur them to greatness when you get married? Concerning your worries about being antisocial, i know that its the possibility of not being found by a man that's your fear but I'll tell you about an antisocial friend of mine that detests hanging out and after getting to the same undesirable age as you, she had challenges that made her depressed but upon recovery, she thought no-one may want to identify with her upon hearing her story. She maximised her singleness and a colleague from her university where they were both served in the choir, came and started expressing his interest in her, she was sceptical but gave it a trial and in less than 6 months they're planning their wedding. In the WhatsApp group of the choir they both belonged to back on campus, she's a passive member to have been noticed by the guy since years after we graduated but he came out of the blues and the rest they say is history. In summary, stop worrying about your singleness and if you'll see a good man. Start working on the value you'll add to yourself, your man and your unborn kids. Be optimistic but not anxious as everything will happen at the right time. Listen to Myles Munroe on The Myth of Singleness. 3 Likes |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Nobody: 4:09am On Jun 10, 2019 |
Imogenn:Majority of people advising this poster are not abroad. Or they came to the abroad already married so they have no idea what it means to be a single, lonely , isolated, minority in a very individualised environment. If you are already married or in Nigeria you will not understand so I will advise OP to listen to me. Yeah, cos I am also going through the same thing right now. Having said that, if you are someone that has lived in Naija or Africa having that sense of wanting to raise a good home, you will quickly find out majority of the people out here in the west are a downgrade from what you deserve or what your expectations are. For me, what I see are very weak moralled people and I do not blame any one here, its just they way the society has conditioned them. And the fact the p oster is female does not help matters cos unlike someone like me who is a guy and I can actually start hunting for people on the social media or whatsap groups, majority of people may prey on the poster if she does that. So my suggestion is this, would you mind going back to Nigeria to spend a couple years to sort out that part of your life ? I have about 3 years to stay where I am to get my citizenship so unless things change , I will probably just stay here till I get the citizenship and then go back to Nigeria to get a woman and probably come back here . Its better not to be married, or marry late than to marry the wrong person. I pray you find the peace you seek, I am currently in the same shoes as you and I can tell you, its a terrible place to be. But with adequate planning things will become better. Just be patient. You can hit me via mail, |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by BoboKush(m): 4:59am On Jun 10, 2019 |
Imogenn: Do u mind I be ur friend..... Nt relationship nt dating just friend? |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Nobody: 5:15am On Jun 10, 2019 |
Mindfulness:Ditto all of this 1 Like |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Richy4(m): 7:03am On Jun 10, 2019 |
calgaryFriend: Being abroad got nothing to do with her situation. In the so called abroad there are lots of activities that are always going on... A potential suitor or husband cannot find her at the comfort of her bedroom.. if she continues to lock herself up every time.. If she wants something she should get up and get what she wanted.. husband is not a pizza that u stay at home and order online... Based on your argument, independence day is always celebrated outside Nigeria.. Which one does she identify herself with.. Nigerians celebrate end of year party all over the world where they were formed.. Does she attend?.. OK let us say she doesn't like to mingle with Nigerian activities abroad, What about church activities.. where lots of people from different background were invited..does she attend?.... if she is working, At least some colleagues must have invited her for a birthday party and other work related function, does she attend? U made your argument sound like living abroad as a single man or woman was boring.. it is not.. Infact it's the most liberating.. She should work on herself first.. her insecurity and self esteem is pretty bad... Even going back to Nigeria to hunt for a husband will not solve it... 4 Likes |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by dep07(f): 7:29am On Jun 10, 2019 |
deltateam:Rotfl,Oh my God,Nairaland is a house of comedy.Did Sisioge offend you? @ Op,take it easy,you just ended a relationship .Trust me you need time to heal emotionally. You're just 25 for crying out loud. At this age, you should be thinking of self development ,take up new skills and while you are @ it please love yourself. |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Nobody: 8:06am On Jun 10, 2019 |
Richy4:I have 2 questions for you. Are you abroad ? Are you single ? Are you a christian ? There are single people abroad, I am talking of people with the same values and convictions... |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Nobody: 8:09am On Jun 10, 2019 |
Thank you. I’m that kind of person that hates crowds, If i have to interact with more than 2 people at once that I’m not familiar with, I get very paranoid and I start feeling very uncomfortable, that’s why I just avoid birthdays, or church events. I stay at home a lot. I know that’s one of my problems. I also think I’m very insecure, but nobody is perfect and I still have v good qualities about myself. I just don’t want to wait until I’m 30 then I’m running around looking for my husband, you get? I want to start now that I’m still in my 20s. Richy4: |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Nobody: 8:09am On Jun 10, 2019 |
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Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Richy4(m): 10:20am On Jun 10, 2019 |
calgaryFriend: Actually, U asked three questions.. So which one do i erase? Anyways...I can't go around announcing my geographical location. it is childish But yes I am outside Nigeria..Some people are commitment phoebes that could be why they are single and does not want to get tied down ...and Yes I am a christian.. Just want to let u know that this is not about me.. It's about the fact that u made it look like staying abroad and being single is a sentence to life everlasting boredom... It is not and based on the value you were talking about you can still have a wonderful life abroad without going to a night club or bar..if that's what you are insinuating... The Value you were talking about, Have u asked the OP if she has tried to locate people with the same value and conviction as u put it in her locality or location? It's not cool to paint everyone with the same brush.. There are people that are still good and still have that gentlemanly qualities in them.. U made mention that u will be traveling to Nigeria to hunt for a wife, I hope u won't make the same mistake others has been making.. Thinking that home based is better than those abroad..If you don't know who u want to marry and you think u will know her within 3 months period of your holidays, you might be in for a shocker... I don't wanna read your story here on how you went and brought a girl abroad to marry and she changed over night.. 1 Like |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by essenceplus: 10:21am On Jun 10, 2019 |
Imogenn: My crush is 30. I rather marry her at 30 than another beauty queen at 20 1 Like |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by essenceplus: 10:22am On Jun 10, 2019 |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by essenceplus: 10:29am On Jun 10, 2019 |
calgaryFriend: You spoke well my brother. Well mannered people are going extinct. You can tell by the comments on this site for example Given that you but have a pecularity of needs and desire compatibility. Your strong desires can play an advantage here. I'll like to come out plainly to ask you both to give it a try. And who knows. All I want is an e-picture of a bottle of henessy if things work out. Best of luck |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by deltateam: 10:33am On Jun 10, 2019 |
dep07: 25 years is a ripe age to get married. Women have their biological clock, remember. At 30 years desperation sets in and at 40 years chances of birthing children with down syndrome increases, menopause draws near thereafter. As for Sisioge, she has no right to tell anyone how long to live on earth since she's human not God. Let her stick to advice not soothsaying. |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Richy4(m): 10:38am On Jun 10, 2019 |
Imogenn: I got you dear.. That's why I am sounding like a broken record for you to work on that... No one is perfect I know.. even me that is typing this nonsense.. but I know one thing about myself that i am a go getter and when i want something I put in an effort to get it... that's how it works You wanted a relationship that could end up in Marriage, Try and make an effort without getting yourself embarrassed... . Come out of your comfort zone a little it might help.. Start up like a crazy lady and enroll as an usher in your church.. if u welcome 5 or 6 people, assign seat or talk to them, u might look back after service and think aloud.... was it really me that did this? Just given u a life experience.. |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Nobody: 10:41am On Jun 10, 2019 |
Thank you and God bless you. Richy4: |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Nobody: 10:52am On Jun 10, 2019 |
essenceplus:Thank you for the mention |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Nobody: 10:55am On Jun 10, 2019 |
Richy4: aiit bro you have made some points, but like I said, if you consider the numbers still. Being abroad and single is not the same as being in Naija and single. Statistically being in Naija and single still gives you a lot more chance to get a good partner than here abroad. But I get your point still, visibility. |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by essenceplus: 10:58am On Jun 10, 2019 |
Richy4: Plz humor me more. The last paragraph |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Richy4(m): 11:04am On Jun 10, 2019 |
essenceplus: |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by essenceplus: 11:10am On Jun 10, 2019 |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Tonalphs(f): 11:27am On Jun 10, 2019 |
Read books on loving yourself and build a healthy self esteem. You become what you think about all day. You attract what you think about too. If u believe ur undesirable, the universe just said "Amen" to your belief |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Nobody: 12:15pm On Jun 10, 2019 |
Going through all your threads. One minute you are 24 and you feel you are getting old Next minute you date a useless yahoo guy who you shouldn’t have kept as a friend, let alone boyfriend Next minute you are looking for ways to impress this said useless mans mother Next minute you are single at just 25 and you feel you will be be single forever because you’re getting to that ‘undesirable’ age. Baby girl you need help. I think you have serious self esteem issues and you are extremely desperate for no reason. I also think you need therapy and a mental health evaluation. Don’t take this as an insult but I just think a relationship right now should be no where near your radar. You need at least 1year to work on yourself, to fully understand who you are and what you want. You are at a lost phase in your life that will surely pass, but it is very crucial that you take the steps to discover your identity. Ask God to guide you in your steps. Good luck. 2 Likes |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Acidosis(m): 12:46pm On Jun 10, 2019 |
Given the level of your desperation to find a man at 25, I don't think you can survive any marriage. Any man reading through your desperation-motivated threads at 24-25, will ultimately take advantage of you. When I say any man, it includes me. If I marry someone like you, I will take advantage of you, and that's exactly what any man you meet would do. Delete your Nairaland account (this particular account don cast), work on your esteem seriously, find motivation and satisfaction in other aspects of life, and your man would locate you. If you're desperate to marry or find a man to marry you at 24, then you're not NORMAL. 2 Likes |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Nobody: 12:51pm On Jun 10, 2019 |
Acidosis:bros lets look at it like this, the lady is 25 years. She does not want to clock 30 years and unmarried which is not a bad plan to have. The issue here is that if at 25years going to 26 years she does not have a man, when will that man come ? If someone has stayed in a place for 2 years and the only person that toasted her is a yahoo boy dont you think there is a problem somewhere ? Its not about gettting married at 25 years, its about having a healthy relationship or even friendship that could lead to a healthy relationship at that age. 1 Like |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Nobody: 12:58pm On Jun 10, 2019 |
The main issues here is that she stated she’s the anti social type who doesn’t get out much, that could be stopping her from meeting reasonable people, hence why she settled for a yahoo guy. Desperation at 25 is ridiculous as she is still very much in her prime and desirable. She just needs to work on herself, and get out of her comfort zone to meet people. That’s all. calgaryFriend: 2 Likes |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by Acidosis(m): 1:02pm On Jun 10, 2019 |
calgaryFriend: I got this in one of her threads
Something is not right 2 Likes |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by bukatyne(f): 1:29pm On Jun 10, 2019 |
Imogenn: DO you like what you do? DO you intend to build a career in nursing? If no, what do you want to do? |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by essenceplus: 2:07pm On Jun 10, 2019 |
Acidosis: What a discreet way of sowing seeds of discord. Nigerians and pulling people down. If you only see negatives it's not because people are unclean alone |
Re: I Feel Like I Will Be Single Forever. by generationz(f): 2:16pm On Jun 10, 2019 |
Imogenn: Calm down babe. Stop being so negative. Look age is never an issue. There are guys who won't date girls below 25 and there are guys who would date them. Have you noticed that despite their shortcomings there are ladies who seem to get all the attention . Right from secondary school some girls were getting and dumping men while some didn't even have one boyfriend. Some women get divorced and in a few months have someone serious on their neck. Many of these girls are not all that pretty, curvy , or whatever men scream they want , but they are always wanted. Same goes with guys , some not so good looking, not so rich guys seem to have more girlfriends than others. Have you ever noticed it? Why are does it happen that way? One thing - personality Personality trumps everything people think they desire in a partner. These people who have everyone flocking to them have a fun personality. It doesn't matter whether they are introverts or extroverts. They also possess high levels of empathy When they are on conversations with people they make it more about the other person ( at least at first meetings ) than about themselves. This feeds the natural narcissistic nature every human being has. It doesn't mean they don't have problems , maybe they even have issues more than you sef. However they hardly ever talk about their problems They are positive, charming , and charismatic. Even the ones who after you get to know them become bad, they know how to wear the cloak of positivity, charm and charisma when you are just getting to know them. I would have liked to talk more about this, but its such a long topic o have been studying for years. But there are two books I would highly recommend for you to read If you can understand human psychology and personality it won't matter if you are 40 or 50 yiou would have 30 year old men throwing themselves at your feet . It doesn't even matter if you are a bad bitch that society frowns upon Once yoi can charm people and make them feel important they overlook many details to be with you. Also I'll advice yoi make more friends not with the hope of dating but for the sake of understanding people. Male friends. Don't be afraid and try to be open minded . 2 Likes |
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