How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? - Romance - Nairaland
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| How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Rizah: 5:02pm On Oct 02, 2010 |
I am sick enough that dying anytime would not be a surprise. Well, it’s too painful to admit but I already accepted my fate, after a long battles with God for I have questioned my faith on Him. I am currently in a very loving and committed relationship with a Nigerian guy. Though we are in a long distance relationship, we both managed to keep and overcome the obstacles. We are both working and preparing ourselves (emotionally & financially) for the future and plan to get married in two years time. Sadly, I know it will no longer happen. My guy doesn’t know that I am sick and I don’t have any plan and even the courage to tell him. I love this guy so much and I don’t want to hurt him. I have been a frequent follower of NL and it's quite a relief that I was able to share this. I would appreciate very much to have your views and thoughts on this situation. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Dyt(f): 5:08pm On Oct 02, 2010 |
Try tell him,if he is gonna stay he ll n if he is gonna do oda wise,its beta now dan later |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by ZIMDRILL(m): 5:08pm On Oct 02, 2010 |
Rizah: by not telling him you hurting him just tell him you never know he might give your last better days |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Rizah: 5:29pm On Oct 02, 2010 |
Dyt: Dyt, thanks! In my heart, I believe he will stay with me. But the thing is I want to push him away from me. ZIM DRILL: Thanks Zim! I really wished for it. That "last better days" means a sacrifice on his part, he has to give up his job. We are several miles away, its really difficult. I don't want to be selfish. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Godmother(f): 5:42pm On Oct 02, 2010 |
You didnt say exactly the type of illness you have but what you are going though is hard and I admire your courage for haven accepted it. But dont give up on God. He can still work miracles (they are rare but they do happen). I believe so much in prayers and its powers. Put yourself in your guys shoes and try to reason if you would want him to tell you if the situation was turned. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by bolof2000(m): 5:46pm On Oct 02, 2010 |
i feel your pain, God will heal you. dont give up .you can still win sister. as per your bf, just tell him whats going on. he might be too broken if he found out later , i lost my best friend . he didnt let me know he was dying. up till date, i still ask why didnt he tell me who was dat sick. just tell him and God will heal his Heart cheers |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by InkedNerd(f): 5:57pm On Oct 02, 2010 |
Rizah, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. How you have to the strength to keep going is beyond me. I agree with ZIM DRILL, you need to tell this man that your dating. Imagine how it would feel if it were the other way around. This is truly one of the saddest things I've read on NL. I've thought this scenario before and I just don't know if I could be strong enough to deal with such a thing. Stay strong my dear  |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by nanidee(f): 7:35pm On Oct 02, 2010 |
I am so sorry to hear this, and well, its not going to be easy telling him, but its something you have to do. secondly, dont just accept death as your resolve, once there is life, there is hope. You can still hope for the best, and believe that it will come. Dont loose faith, because God is never late, he is always on time. Just keep believing. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Nobody: 8:10pm On Oct 02, 2010 |
Godmother: @ Op what kind of illness is this, this is a faceless forum who know there may be a solution somewhere you may not know. I feel your pain sister. But know this scripture and meditate on it depending on your believe. Jeremiah 32:27 “Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me? and trust me the answer is NO Exodus 15:26 he made us to know that He is the God our healer if listen and obey. I wish your God's healing and best of luck in your relationship. Share your pain with him if he truly love he will understand and stand by your side. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Nobody: 8:19pm On Oct 02, 2010 |
I wish I had some magic words i could write that would ease your pain and burden. May God give you the comfort and strength. I wish you will find the courage to tell your man. I understand that you don't want to see him in sorrow but he deserves to know. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Nobody: 8:35pm On Oct 02, 2010 |
@poster what do you think is worse: not telling him that you are sick, making him believe that everything is ok while he is making plans in something that is false OR being truly honest with the person you love (who would surely understand the situation). here is something for you to consider: there may be MANY things that this person wants to tell you before its too late,many things that this person want to live/cherish with you before its too late and you are simply taking all of this away from him. btw: questioning god has nothing to do with your illness because if u read the bible in the right manner you would understand that god doesnt hold grudges on its subject questioning their faith. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Rizah: 9:27pm On Oct 02, 2010 |
Thank you guys for all your kind and comforting words. I appreciate your prayers, I knew I need it more than anything else. REALITY101: I have cancer. I prefer not to say what type as it is irrelevant in the end. MRbrownJAY: You hit me exactly, I am fully guilty on that. I know I am so unfair to him. Am just short of words and teared out as I make this reply. Thanks for hitting me on the spot, I was really moved. As to questioning God, I must admit I was wrong during the time I questioned Him for that. It's easy to say, but do you know how it feels the moment you know that you are dying? The feeling, range from denial, to fear, to guilt, to anger, to sadness and to acceptance. Thank God, I found the strength of Acceptance as a relief. Knowing, I would not have to deal with the roller coaster ride of emotions, the ups and downs. I know in time, I will have the courage to tell him. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Nobody: 9:38pm On Oct 02, 2010 |
Rizah: Be strong sweetie and have faith. I have a word or two for you. I don't wanna leave my cell phone number here but you can reach me via this E- mail charlestylson@yahoo.com |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Nobody: 9:48pm On Oct 02, 2010 |
@OP,Im short of words after going through all ur post.Well,i believe thy Lord is ur strength. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by star4(f): 9:58pm On Oct 02, 2010 |
So sad you are going through this. I could never imagine all your emotions. My heart goes out to you. My advice would be to tell him, not to push away. He loves you and yes it will hurt like hell, but because of the love there has to be truth. He will find out in some way, so its best coming from you. Stay strong. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by iice(f): 9:35am On Oct 04, 2010 |
I suppose the shock of you suddenly dying and him finding out that you knew something was up and did not tell him, will do wonders. . .Dude is there planning and stuff and you're letting him go on like and idiot. People sef. . .they can forever be selfish. I'm sorry for what you're going thru, really i am. But i get irritated when people consciously hurt the ones they 'supposedly' love. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Nobody: 9:52am On Oct 04, 2010 |
iice: Jeez Iice, the girl's dying cut her some slack!  Rizah: My dear, please tell him. Trust me, it's better! |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by slap1(m): 10:06am On Oct 04, 2010 |
Tell him. His support, if he really loves you, can keep you going longer than you expect. And when your time comes, you'll go happily because, truth is, you're not happy with yourself right now for not telling him. Best Wishes. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Tinksh(f): 10:12am On Oct 04, 2010 |
Ujujoan: Sometimes people need the bold truth to snap them out of it!! Poster, you need to tell him. To not tell him is selfish cos you are not giving him a chance to do whatever he wants or needs to do. I understand you probably want to walk away for his sake but thats not fair at all on him. If you really love him you know he deserves a chance to be there for you if he chooses. Best of everything to you. xoxo |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Vic2k3(m): 10:17am On Oct 04, 2010 |
Eh yah! Poster send ma best wishes to God when u reach there.  |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Vic2k3(m): 10:28am On Oct 04, 2010 |
No mind me i was jxt joking. Btw who told u're going to die. Comeon shut up there and fight for ur life and stop being a wimp. @least u've a reason to live that is to stay wif the one u luv and after reading this post pick up ur Gootdamn fone and call ur love cos he is ur other half and needs to be told q.e.d |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by iice(f): 10:43am On Oct 04, 2010 |
Ujujoan: Lol. Sorry but sometimes, people unconsciously 'want' to be babied so that they can keep convincing themselves that they are doing something good and totally selfless. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Nobody: 4:37pm On Oct 04, 2010 |
Full disclosure is important in a relationship, u need to tell him, he would love u more for having d courage to do so, he loves u already so much n hes making plans to marry u. He ougth to be there 4 u, marriage is abt ", in sickness and health, " and dis he knws dats y he wants to tk vows wit u, u can live dat life now while u still can, n ur soul will 4eva b merry, knowin dat u were loved truly and dearly. yes, he may move on after u r gone, but i knw he will never ever forget u. A broken spirit; who can bear. Let him in. God bless u. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Ubiero(f): 1:27pm On Oct 05, 2010 |
Oh dearie.I emphathize with you.The right thing will be for you to tell him about it,if possible should be done in person. I'm not relegating your plight but it kinds of remind me about the story in Sweet November but with a different ending in sight.And if in the end,nothing or something happens,You can be sure that he would move on but he'll never forget you. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Omolola1(f): 1:32pm On Oct 05, 2010 |
This is so sad! let him know about ur sickness, two heads is beta than one, who knows, he might have a solution |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Rizah: 12:43pm On Oct 06, 2010 |
Inked_Nerd: Sorry Dear, I made you cry. Don’t worry I am stronger everyday.  REALITY101: Herewith is a smile to let you know how thankful I am. Ujujoan: Thanks and I trust your word. I’m so glad and feel better after I finally broke the news to him and my family last Sunday. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Rizah: 12:53pm On Oct 06, 2010 |
iice: Thank you Ms. Iice, for that reply and for giving me the spank which I needed most. You have blatantly strike me straight, and I honestly appreciate it coz you made me realized I was actually selfish which I though I’m not. Ubiero: Oh yes, I remember that movie, its been such a long time. It's heavy drama. Anyway, thank you dear for the advice. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by MissyB2: 1:03pm On Oct 06, 2010 |
They've said it all - Tell him and keep hoping. Meanwhile, I'm sending a big hug your way.  |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Rizah: 1:04pm On Oct 06, 2010 |
Vic2k3: lol, It’s alright, for sure I will send your warm regards to Him. And you may drop me your e-mail so I could tell you how would feels like in heaven. But make sure, you take care of yourself, God forbid we don’t know exactly the time of our death, who knows you might be the first one to go. Hehhehe, sorry im just joking too. Peace! Omolola1:He knows already and somehow he is a solution too coz he lessens my pain. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Rizah: 1:33pm On Oct 06, 2010 |
Missy ♥ B: I finally told him. Thanks Missy B for that hug. It feels so good. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by Akinagirl(f): 6:12am On Oct 07, 2010 |
You say you told him. How did he take it hun?And I am glad you feel better. God bless you. |
| Re: How Will You Take It When You Know Someone You Love Is Dying? by InkedNerd(f): 6:20am On Oct 07, 2010 |
Rizah: I'm sorry, I can't help it. When I think about it, brings tears to my eyes . I hope you get better soon. I'm glad to hear that you're getting stronger. |
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