I paced and brooded for hours, the bottle of scotch never far from my hands. When my stomach growled around two o’clock in the morning, I realized how long it had been since I had eaten anything. In the kitchen, I yanked open the refrigerator door and grabbed a container with leftover spaghetti. Not even bothering to heat it up, I sat at the table, twirling the cold pasta and chewing. Even cold, it was good. Everything Katharine made was delicious. My mind drifted to the night she had made me filet and asparagus with béarnaise sauce—a meal that rivaled anything I had eaten at Finlay’s. My praise had been honest, and her reaction had been one of her rare blushes. With her fair skin, she often had traces of color on her cheeks when she cooked or drank something hot. When she was angry, or nervous, her skin flushed a deep red, like a burning element, but her soft blush was different. It highlighted her face, making her even prettier than usual.


“I like that,” I mused.


“Like what?”


“The way you blush. You don’t do it often, but when I compliment you, it happens.”


“Maybe you don’t compliment me enough.”


“You’re right, I don’t.”


She laid her hand over her heart in mock shock. “Agreeing with me and a compliment? It’s a rare day in the VanRyan household.”


I threw back my head in laughter. Picking up my wineglass, I studied her over the rim. “When I was a child, for a while, my favorite dessert was ice cream with strawberry sauce.”


“Only for a while?”


“Nana made it for me. After she left, I never got it again.”


“Oh, Richard—”


I shook my head, not wanting to hear her sympathetic words.


“She would give it to me, and I loved to mix the sauce into the ice cream. It turned everything pink and soft.” I traced the edge of the table with my finger. “Your blush reminds me of that.”


She didn’t say anything for a moment, then came over to me, bent down, and dropped a kiss onto my head. “Thank you.”


I didn’t look up. “Yep.”


“And if you think your pretty words are getting you out of the dishes, forget it, VanRyan. I made dinner. You clean up.”


I chuckled as she left the kitchen.


My fork froze midway to my mouth. I had loved her even at that moment. The easy banter, her teasing, the comfort I found with her presence—it had all been there, but I hadn’t recognized it. Love wasn’t something I knew or understood.


I dropped my fork and pushed the container away, my appetite gone. I looked around the kitchen seeing her touches everywhere. They were all over the condo. Little pieces of Katharine she’d added, making the place more than somewhere I lived. She made it into a home. Our home. Without her, it was nothing.


Without her, I was nothing.





“Richard? What are you doing here?”


I turned and watched as a familiar scenario played out in front of me. My boss, walking into my office, finding me packing it up. In my hand was a picture taken on my wedding day. I had been holding it, staring at it for God knew how long, thinking and remembering.


Graham stepped in, looking confused. “You’re supposed to be home with Katy. I told you to take all the time you needed.” He spied the small box on my desk. “What’s going on?”


“I need to speak with you.”


“Where’s Katy?” I met his gaze head on. “I don’t know. She left me.”


He reared back, shock written on his face. Reaching in his pocket, he withdrew his phone.


“Sarah, cancel my appointments and calls for the day. Yes, all of them. Reschedule as best you can. I’ll be out of the office.” He hung up. “I didn’t see your car downstairs.”


I shook my head. “I took a cab.”


“Put the picture back on your desk and come with me. We’re going somewhere private where we can talk.”


“I’m almost done,” I argued. “I didn’t have a lot here.”


“Are you resigning?”


My sigh was laced with pain. “No. Once you hear what I have to say, though, I won’t have a job. It’s easier to do it this way.”


He frowned, and his voice became firm. “Put down the picture, Richard. Once we talk, I’ll decide what happens next.”


I looked down at the picture grasped in my shaky hand.


“Now.”


I did as he asked. He held out my coat, studying my face. “You look terrible.”


I shrugged my coat on and nodded. “I feel it, too.”


“Let’s go.”





We didn’t speak in the car. I stared out the window at the city I loved but would possibly be leaving. Without Katharine or the job I wanted, there would be nothing left for me in Victoria. Once I had settled things with Graham and Katharine, I would move on to Toronto. It was a huge, impersonal city. I could lose myself there. “Richard.”


I startled, looking at Graham.


“We’re here.”


I had been so deep in thought I hadn’t realized where we were headed. He had brought us to his house. I frowned, looking at him.


“We’ll have complete privacy. Laura is home, but she won’t interfere.”


I swallowed. “She deserves to hear this, too.”


“Maybe in a while. We’ll talk first.”


I pushed open the car door, too weary to argue. “Okay.”

CHAPTER 27

RICHARD


I STARED OUT THE WINDOW overlooking the vast property. Memories of bringing Katharine here the first day flitted through my head. How nervous and anxious we both had been. How well she played her part. My gaze swept over to the deck. Remembering our wedding dinner, my chest became tight. She had looked so pretty, felt so right in my arms when we danced. The day, which should have been nothing but another piece of my plan, had been a joyful one.


Had I loved her then?


“Richard.”


I turned to face Graham. He held out a steaming cup of coffee. “I thought you could use this.” I took the mug with a silent nod and turned back to the window. My thoughts were jumbled and confused. I had no idea how to start this conversation, but I knew I had to have it. I needed to wipe the slate clean, then figure out my next move.


Taking in a deep lungful of air, I turned back to Graham. He was leaning on his desk, feet crossed, sipping his coffee. He was his normal, calm self, yet the look on his face was intense.


“I don’t know where to start,” I admitted.


“The beginning is usually the best.”


I wasn’t certain what the beginning was in this instance. The real reason I left Anderson Inc.? The arrangement I made with Katharine? The hundreds of lies and deceptions that followed?


“Why did Katy leave you, Richard?”


I shrugged, feeling helpless. “I don’t know. Maybe because she didn’t know how I really felt about her?”


“Which is how, exactly?”


“I love her.”


“Your wife didn’t know you loved her?”


“No.”


“I think you’ve found your beginning.”


I nodded grimly, knowing he was correct.


“I lied to you.”


“Which part?”


I sat down, putting my coffee mug on the table. If I held it, I would either smash it in between my tightly clenched fists or throw the whole thing, contents and all, at the wall. Neither boded well for a civilized conversation—not that this was going to be.


“All of it. It was all a lie.”


Graham sat across from me, crossing his legs. He ran his fingers down the crease of his trousers, then looked up.


“You lied to me to get the job at The Gavin Group?”


“Yes.”


“Tell me why.”


“I was passed up for partner, and I wanted to piss David off. I wanted out, but I wanted to stay here, in Victoria. I like it here. I heard about the opening at Gavin and I wanted in.”


Aside from the small tilt of his chin, he said nothing.


“I knew you would never hire me. I had heard of the tight-knit way you ran your business. My reputation was less than stellar, on a personal level.” I barked a laugh. “It didn’t matter what I could bring to the table, business-wise, because my lifestyle and personality would stop you from even considering me.”


“That’s true.” “It occurred to me, if you thought I wasn’t that person, maybe I would have a shot.”


“And you came up with this plan.”


“Yes.”


“How did Katy come into this scheme of yours?”


“Not willingly. With the rules at Anderson, I knew she was the most obvious choice. Aside from the fact she was different from any other woman I had dated, that she was my assistant was the perfect set up.” I shrugged my shoulders in resignation. “I didn’t even like her. She wasn’t crazy about me, either.”


“You both played it well.”


“We had to. It was important to both of us.” I leaned forward, earnest. “She did this for one reason, and one reason alone, Graham.”


“Penny.”“Yes. I paid her to pretend to be my fiancée. I practically coerced her into marrying me to continue the charade. She hated the lying and the deception.” I rubbed the back of my neck, my fingers digging into my skin hard. “She was, is, so fond of all of you that it became too much for her, I think. She couldn’t do it anymore.”


“How much of this deception was Brian Maxwell privy to?”


I had already decided not to let anyone else suffer because of me. I refused to jeopardize either Brian or Amy. “None. I told him the same story I told you. If he suspected anything, he kept it to himself. I think he truly thought I had changed, or he wouldn’t have been part of this. Amy,” I added, “knew nothing. Nothing.”


He regarded me for a moment, tapping his chin. “I’m not sure he was as innocent as you say. However, I’m going to let itpass. Amy is a trusted employee, so I do believe she knew nothing.”


“She didn’t.”


“So you came on board. What was your plan?”


Putting my head down, I clasped my hands behind my head, pulling my neck. I felt tight and anxious, as if I would jump out of my skin any second.


“Richard, you need to calm down. Try to relax.”


With a huge exhale, I released my neck and looked up at him. “I don’t know where my wife is, Graham. I can’t relax. My life is in turmoil, and the one person who can make it better is out there somewhere”—I waved my hand toward the window—“thinking I don’t care.”


“When did you fall in love with her?”


“I have no idea. It was supposed to be an act. I needed her to make me more likable.I thought if I could get my foot in the door, prove my worth to you and your company, show you what I could offer to your campaigns, maybe my personal life wouldn’t matter as much. Eventually, I would divorce her, and we’d go our separate ways. I’d keep working; she’d be in a far better place financially than she had been. No one would be any the wiser.”


“But?” His question hung in the air, simple and heavy.


“Things changed. I changed. What was supposed to be an act became real. We became friends. Allies. Then we became more. I never saw it, though. I never saw how important she was becoming to me. I never thought I was capable of having feelings like that for anyone.”


“Where does Penny fit into this situation? I think she was a huge part of it all.”


“Katharine never wanted me to meet her or have anything to do with her life. She didn’t want to confuse Penny’s already muddled mind. The night you had the get-together when I joined the firm, and I had too much to drink—we argued. Or rather, I was an ass and I pushed her. She told me about her parents’ accident and how Penny came into her life. She informed me, in no uncertain terms, exactly what she thought of me.” Even with my worry and the seriousness of the conversation, my lips curled into a smile. “I saw a side of Katharine that night I never imagined she possessed. She wasn’t an insignificant weakling as I’d originally thought. She was, is, fierce and strong. Loyal.” My smile fell. “And she opened my eyes to what a bastard I truly was—to her, to everyone around me. The next day, I went and met Penny.”


“I assumed she impressed you?”


“She reminded me of someone from my past. One of the few good people I had in my younger life.” I tugged at my cowlick and stopped talking, knowing I had to regroup my thoughts. I didn’t want to dig that far into my past with Graham. “Despite everything, Katharine married me that day because we had a deal and she kept her word.”


“And you fell in love with your wife.”


“Yes, I did. But it was too late.”


“Why do you say that?”


“She left me. She left everything I gave her behind. Her phone, the money, even the car. I have no idea how to find her or where she might have gone.”


“What about Penny’s things? Did she take them?”


“No, those are at the condo, along with a few of her personal things. I assume she’ll contact me as to where to send them.”


“You don’t want to wait until then.”


I stood up, going back to the window. “I don’t think there is anything to wait for,but no, I need to find her.”


“Are you willing to fight to change that—do you want to fight, Richard?”


I spun around. “Yes. I want to fight for all of it. Her. My job. Everything.”


He stood up, crossing his arms. “I suspected you were lying the first time I met you.”


I gaped at him. “What?”


“I was fairly certain. I found your thought process intriguing, though. You intrigued me. Talking to you, I had a sense there was more to you than you allowed people to see. There was a spark, for lack of a better word, I could see. For the first time ever, I wanted to hire someone I wasn’t entirely sure about. Laura felt the same way about you—even stronger, to be honest. She felt you needed to be given a chance.”


“You said as much one other time.”


He nodded. “Katy—she was the deciding factor. She was open and real. Whether you realized it or not, you were different with her.” He smiled. “It was actually enjoyable watching you fall in love, Richard. We could both see it. We saw the changes in you.” He studied me, his head cocked to the side. “At the office, you were a wonder to behold. The way your mind works, spinning ideas, concepts. Your enthusiasm even got me going again. It was quite the spectacle to witness.”


My throat tightened. I could hear the finality of his words. Were. Was. My career at The Gavin Group was over. Even though I knew it would happen, hearing it was still a blow—a small flicker of hope had burned, and now, it was gone.


“Your company, Graham. My time there has been, without a doubt, the most positive, creative environment I have ever been part of in my career. The way you allow your people to work, the cohesive energy that permeates the environment you created. It was an honor to work for you. I can’t even begin to express my apologies for deceiving you. I won’t ask for your forgiveness, since I know I don’t deserve it. All I ask is that you forgive Katharine. I made her do it. I backed her into a corner until she had no choice.” I paused, unsure what else to say. “She’s so fond of Jenna and Laura. Once she comes back, it would give me great comfort knowing she had a friend she could rely on.”


“Where will you be?”


I shrugged. “Toronto, maybe? I don’t know. I won’t leave town until she returns and we settle everything.”


He raised his eyebrows. “This is your idea of fighting? It sounds as if you’ve already given up.”


“I can’t work for some obscure online advertising company, Graham. I’ll never go back to Anderson Inc., so I have no other choice really, except to move to another city and start again.”


“Have I fired you?”


“I assume it’s coming any minute.”


“And when it does?”


“I’ll shake your hand, thank you for being someone I’ll respect the rest of my life—someone who believed enough in me to take a chance. Very few people have ever believed in me.” I swallowed the thick emotion in my throat—Katharine had been one of those people.


“Why are you telling me all this, Richard?” he asked, confused as to my motives. “You could have stayed silent and ridden this out. Katy may come back and all this will have been for nothing. My suspicions would have remained simply that—suspicions.”


I met his stare. “Katharine isn’t the only one tired of living a lie. I want to move forward on a clean slate, whether it’s here with you or elsewhere. I didn’t expect this plan to deviate. I hadn’t planned to fall in love with my wife, and I never expected your opinion of me would mean as much as it does. I didn’t”—I cleared my throat—“expect to feel this close to your family. I’ve never experienced anything like it—I never had a family, not a real one like yours. It was as if I had come to my own crossroad, and I had no choice except to tell you the truth. I’m sorry I let you down, Graham. I regret that more than I can express.”


He stepped forward and I held out my hand, surprised to see it was shaking. He looked down, ignoring my outstretched palm. His hand was heavy as he clapped my shoulder and met my gaze. “I’m not firing you, Richard.”


“You . . . you’re not?”


“No. Not now. You have work to do. You need to find your wife and get her back. Then we’ll discuss your future with the company and in general.”


“I don’t understand.”


“There is more to all of this than meets the eye. Your past has dictated the person you became as an adult—which frankly wasn’t the nicest of people, until Katy.”


“What do you want, Graham?”


“I want you to find your wife. Find out what she’s thinking—how she’s feeling. Be honest—lay your cards on the table.”


“Then?”


“Bring her home or finish it. One way or another, get your life on track. You and I are going to sit down and talk—really talk. I think you have a lot to offer my company.” He stopped and gave a nod as if he had reached a decision in his head. “I think my family and I have something to offer you.”


“And what do I have to do to get it?”


“Be honest. Real. I want to know about your life. The Richard you were and the Richard you are now. As well, I will expect apologies to my family. If you stay on board, you are going to have to earn our trust all over again.”


“Back to square one?”


“I’d say right now you’re a negative five.”


“I understand.” I really did. His offer surprised me—it also terrified me. The thought of telling him my past life—the person I was growing up and before working for him—was daunting. However, I had something else I needed to do first.


“I don’t know how to find Katy.”


“I suggest you do the same thing as you did with me today. Start at the beginning.”


“What?”


“She and I talked a lot the day of Penny’s memorial. I think I know where she may be. If you look hard enough, you’ll find the answer in your home.” “Tell me,” I urged. “Please.”


“No. You need to figure this out. Get to know your wife without help. If you try, if you think, you can do this, Richard.” He squeezed my shoulder. “I have confidence.”


“What if I can’t?”


“Then you don’t want it badly enough. If you love her, if you really love her, you’ll figure it out.” He paused and regarded me thoughtfully. “I’m going to ask you a question. I want you to answer me without thinking. I want your first thought.”


I straightened my shoulders. I was good at that. “Shoot.”


“Why do you love Katy?”


“Because she makes me look at the world in a different way. She grounds me.” I lifted a shoulder in frustration of how to explain. “She makes life brighter. She showed me what real love meant.”


He nodded. “I’ll drive you home now.”

CHAPTER 28
RICHARD


IN THE HALLWAY, LAURA STOPPED us. She looked up at me, a frown on her face.


“I was listening by the door, Richard.”


“Okay.”


“I heard almost everything.”


I dropped my gaze, hers too intense to meet any longer.


“You lied to me. To my family.”


“Yes.”


“So did Katy.”


My head shot up. “Because I made her, Laura. She hated it. She hated the fact she had to lie in the first place, but once she got to know you, she loathed it.” I stepped forward. “She did this to make sure Penny was looked after and had a safe home. She .. . she became so fond of you, of all of you, this ruse ate her up inside.” I gripped the back of my neck, wrenching on the tense muscles. “I think it was the main reason she left. She couldn’t take the lies anymore.”


She stretched up, tugging on my arm. I released the grip on my neck and allowed her to clasp my hand.


“Was it still a lie when she left?”


“No,” I admitted. “I love her. I’m lost without Katy.” I swung my gaze to Graham and back to her. “That’s why I had to tell you. I needed a clean slate, no matter what else happens. I needed you to understand this was all on me. Not her. If I leave town, and she comes back, I hope you’ll forgive her. She’s going to be all alone


Laura smiled. “You’ve grown, Richard. Your first thought now is Katy and her well-being


“It should have always been.” She squeezed my hand. “Find your wife. Tell her the truth. I think you’ll find you aren’t the only one who’s lost.”


My chest constricted. I wanted to believe—to believe she loved me, too. That she ran because she needed to figure out her next step. I needed to find her so she understood she didn’t have to make it alone.


“I want that.”


Graham spoke up. “Then work for it. Earn it. Figure out your personal life. Once you do, we’ll discuss your professional one. As of this moment, you’re on leave until we talk again. You aren’t fired, but your future isn’t set in stone, either.”


“I understand.”


I had expected to be fired instantly. Thrown out of his house. No matter the outcome, or how difficult it would be, a future discussion was more than I deserved.


“Thank you,” I stated sincerely.“I’ll take you home now.”


I followed him to the car reflecting that without Katy there, it wasn’t my home. It was the place where I lived. Wherever she was right now, that was my home. Beside her. I had to find her and bring her back. Then I could call it home again.





After Graham dropped me off, I wandered the condo, unsure where to start. On the coffee table was the file holding all Katy’s color swatches and ideas for the place. She had added to the list for my bedroom, her little sketches included rearrangement of the furniture and color on the walls. She was talented. I had noticed but had never told her that, though I should have. There were many thoughts I should have shared. I tossed the file back onto the coffee table. When I got her back, we could discuss whatever changes she wanted to make to our room. She could do whatever she pleased to the entire place, as long as she was there, it was fine.


First, I had to find my wife.


I went to her room, dragging a small file box off her closet shelf. I knew it contained legal documents for her and Penny. I sat down on the chaise and opened the lid, ignoring the sense of guilt. These were her personal things and I felt as if I shouldn’t be looking through them without her permission.


However, I had no choice.


An hour later, I put everything back in the box, my head reeling a little. Katharine was very good at keeping records. For the first time, I understood how close to the edge of poverty she’d been living. How every cent she made went toward Penny and her care. I was able to see how the expenses became greater while her income only increased marginally. She had cut back further and further on her own expenditures—moving to cheaper accommodations, spending as little as she could on everyday necessities. Thinking back to how I treated her at the office, the things she put up with on a daily basis, how I mocked her menial lunches—it all made me squirm. Shame, hot and deep, ran through me as I thought of the things I’d done, the way I’d spoken. How she ever moved past it, and had forgiven me, was a miracle.


I shut the lid. Although I gleaned a bit more insight into her life and her unconditional love of Penny, this box held no clue as to where she might be.


I hauled out the two unopened boxes from the floor of her closet and scoured them for clues. Yet, hours later, I sat back in defeat. They contained various personal items: school projects, report cards, pieces of bric-a-brac, a few family pictures, and mementos from her teenage years. They were memories that would mean a great deal to her but meant nothing to me, nothing to guide me to her whereabouts.


I repacked the boxes and stood up, weary, but determined. I glanced around the room, then did a sweep of the drawers, shelves, bookcase, and bathroom. I pored over the pictures on the shelves, looked over the small knickknacks, and ran my finger over the book spines. I doubted her choice of literature would give me any clues.


I flicked off the light and went downstairs. I poured a scotch, surprised to see how late it was. I looked around the kitchen but had no appetite to eat. I grabbed an apple, chewing it while sitting at the counter. Thoughts of her in the kitchen, cooking a great meal, floated through my head. I remembered her laughter and how she teased me when I growled about dinner taking too long.


“Patience, Richard. All good things come to those who wait,” she said with a chuckle.


I shut my eyes. I couldn’t be patient when it came to finding Katharine.


I tossed away the half-eaten apple. In the den, I fired up the computer to check for an email from her, not surprised when there wasn’t one. I sipped my scotch, staring around the room. I always liked it when she would come in and sit across from me. I would show her what I was working on, and her comments were always positive and helpful.


How had I not noticed how deeply she’d become embedded into my life? When our arrangement first started, the lines were clearly drawn. Bit by bit, they disappeared until they were non-existent. It all became as natural as breathing—me watching her cook, her chatting with me over the desk,sitting beside her while she watched TV, or even the quick kiss she would drop on my head on her way up to bed. It was simply a part of my daily life, just as making sure my door was open so she could hear me snore was something I did without thinking.


I had fallen in love with her by building one small, new positive habit at a time. She had slowly replaced the bad ones, until they were gone, by simply being her.


With a groan, I let my head hit the back of my chair.


I needed her back.

Early the next morning, after another restless night, I carried the boxes from the home up to Katharine’s room. I had put them in the storage room, knowing she wasn’t ready to deal with the contents so soon after Penny’s death. All of her paintings, drawings, and other pieces of artwork were also stored there and would remain so until Katharine decided what to do with them.


The first box contained a lot of knickknacks and mementos that had been scattered around Penny’s room. I carefully repacked it and set the box aside. The next box was all pictures and photo albums. I spent some time poring over the albums, where I saw Penny’s life laid out in black and white images that slowly bled into colored pictures. The last book I opened began when Katharine came into her life—a thin, frightened teenager, whose eyes looked far too old for her face. As I turned the pages, she changed—growing up, filling in, and discovering life once more. I puzzled over the many pictures of them sitting in restaurants, huge tables of smiling faces with them. I grinned at the pictures taken on a beach, Katharine staring off into the sunset as the waves hit the sand, or digging in the sand for clams, a bucket partially full beside her. The album ended two years ago, and I assumed it was when Penny became ill. I recalled some photo albums in the bookcase and resolved to look through those, as well.


Finally, I opened the third box, digging through some well-read books and a few other items. At the bottom was a pile of black books, the pages dog-eared, and the spines well-worn. The front of the books contained only a label with a set of dates written in Penny’s spidery hand. I opened one, scanning the first few pages until I figured out what I was reading.


Penny’s journals. There were ten of them, all documenting different spans of her life. I found the one that corresponded with the year she found Katharine and I started to read.


So many things began to take shape in my mind. I knew her husband was a chef, and now the pictures I had seen made sense. She and Katharine would work with one of Burt’s chef friends, and after the work was done, they would gather and eat together.My Katy learned a new recipe from Mario today. Watching her work with him made my heart so happy—hearing her laughter and seeing that sadness disappear as she chopped and stirred. It was her marinara that they served at the wedding reception! Mario insisted it was better than his! Tasting it at dinner afterward, I had to agree.


  


Tonight, my Katy wowed us all with her Beef Wellington. She worked for hours with Sam, and everything we had after the dinner was her creation. Burt would have adored her and been proud. I’m so proud.


A smile pulled at my lips. No wonder she was such a good cook. Professionals had trained her for years, given her one-on-one instruction in exchange for help. I flipped forward to another short entry.


I am taking Katy to the cottage next week! We can stay for free in exchange for some housekeeping duties at the resort. Her eyes lit up so bright when I told her!


Katharine had told me they didn’t have much money, and how Penny always made things that should be work seem fun. That remarkable woman used every trick she had to give Katharine things she couldn’t afford. She showed Katharine by working hard, there was a reward. Like a dinner out for waiting tables, or making beds at a resort, it was a break from the city and memories to share. I looked at the journals scattered around the floor. I knew they held more stories about Penny and her life. I wanted to read them all, but they would have to wait for another time. I had to concentrate on her life with Katharine and hope they gave me a clue. My Katy loves the beach. She sits for hours, sketching, watching, so at peace. I worry she is alone too much, but she insists this is where she feels happiest. No sounds of the city, not surrounded by people. I must figure out how to bring her back.


  


I spoke with Scott and we can come back mid-September. I’ll have to take Katy out of school—but I know she’ll catch up fast—she is so smart. The resort isn’t as busy then, the weather is still nice, and he has the cottage free. I will surprise her with the news on her birthday before we leave.


So the entries continued. Posts about the cottage, the beach, Katharine cooking, growing up—a great deal of information, yet not what I needed. I was tempted to call Graham, tell him I thought she was at a cottage, and beg him for the name, yet I expected he would tell me to keep looking.


I shut the book, rubbing my eyes. I had been reading for over eight hours, only moving to flick on the light when clouds began to cover the sun and get some coffee. The one clue I had was the cottage Penny had mentioned going to every year and the owner’s first name: Scott. Unfortunately, there was no last name, or even better, the name of the town or resort where the cottage was located. Reaching down, I grabbed the photo albums that held the pictures of Katharine and their life. I scanned the beach pictures, taking them from the album, convinced they were the same beach but taken on different trips. I couldn’t find any clue in the pictures, and nothing written on the backs to help me. With a heavy sigh, I sagged back on the chaise, staring around the room. For the first time, I wished for some horrid touristy souvenir with the name of a town emblazoned across the front to be on the shelf with her books. Tilting my head to the side, I noticed something odd on the bottom shelf. The last two books had no wording on the spine. They were tall, slim books. I glanced down at the pile of journals scattered around the floor, then back at the bookcase. They were exactly like the worn journals I’d been reading.


I pushed off the chaise and grabbed the books. Katharine kept a journal, or at least she had. I glanced at the dates, flipping from the front to the last page. She had started about a year after coming to live with Penny and these books had lasted her five years. Her journals weren’t as wordy as Penny’s. There were random thoughts, some longer passages, even a few postcards taped inside. They also contained sketches, small images of things she must have loved.


I sent up a small prayer as I opened the first book. I needed a clue, a name, something to help me find her.


Time stopped as I scanned her words. I found I wasn’t able to stop reading. Her brief passages were filled with her essence; it was as if she was in front of me, telling me one of her stories. The depth of her love for Penny, the gratitude she felt for the home and unconditional love given to her by Penny was blatant. She wrote of their adventures, even made the search for bottles and cans sound fun. She described the dinners with Penny’s friends, her love for the different foods, and even jotted recipes on the pages. My breath caught at one passage.


We’re going to the beach next week. Penny has a friend who owns a small resort and she made a deal with him. We’ll clean the cottages daily, and in exchange, we can stay there rent-free for a week! With the two of us, we can get it done in no time and I’ll have most of the day to play! I’m so excited! I haven’t been to the beach since my parents died. I can’t believe she has done this for me!


My heartbeat sped up. This had to be it. Penny had mentioned cottages, and there were pictures of them from the beach. I kept reading.


Our cottage is so pretty! It’s bright blue with white shutters and is right on the end of the row. I can hear the water all day and night! There are only six cottages, and because it’s May, they are only half-full, so Penny and I are done by noon every day, and we spend the rest of the time exploring. I love it here!


Then there was another one a few days later.


I don’t want to go home, but Penny told me we could come back in September. Scott even promised her the same cottage. Another week to look forward to! I’m so lucky—the best birthday gift ever!


My eyes watered with the last entry. A working holiday. That was all they could afford. The same way they could only afford to eat out with the generosity of friends, and yet she felt lucky. I thought of my life of excess. Anything I wanted I could have—even growing up, I was denied nothing material. Yet, I was never satisfied, because the one thing I wanted most, they never provided.


Love.


Penny gave it to Katharine in spades. It made something like a trip together, even if she had to be a housekeeper for a week, special.


I started flipping through the pages faster, searching for entries about the location of the cottages. Near the end of the second book, I struck gold. One of her sketches was an archway with the name Scott’s Seaside Hideaway. I grabbed my phone, doing a search on the net for the name.


I found it. The picture on the site was the same archway as in her sketch, and the map indicated it was two hours away. Another picture showed the row of small cottages, the end one hardly visible, except for the blue color.


I looked back at her journal. Under the sketch were the words:


My favorite piece of heaven on earth.


I closed my eyes as relief washed over me.


I had found my wife.

Based on popular demand, we decided to post three update today. And finally, Katy has been found. Would she come back to him Would Graham and his family forgive them and give him back is job

Thank you so much AK86 for this update. When is the next update coming
Waiting anxiously for the reunion of LOVE.
Much love and respect to you.

Pls update ooooo

CHAPTER 29
KATHARINE


THE GENTLE SOUNDS OF THE waves breaking on the shore soothed me. I rested my chin on my knees, trying to lose myself in the beauty of the beach. The gulls flying overhead, the ebb and flow of the moving water, and the utter peace.


Except, I wasn’t peaceful. I felt lost, torn. I was grateful Penny was no longer trapped in a never-ending nightmare of forgotten moments, but I missed her terribly. Her voice, her laughter, the tender way she would cup my cheek, kiss my forehead, tweak my nose, and in her rare moments of clarity, provide her wisdom.


If she were here I could talk to her, tell her what I was feeling, and she would explain it to me. She would tell me what to do next.I was in love with my husband, a man who wasn’t in love with me. A man who felt love made you weak and couldn’t love himself. He would never be able to see his good traits; the ones he had buried deep inside in order never to be hurt again.


He had changed a lot since that fateful day he asked me to be his pretend fiancée. Gradually, he allowed a gentler, more caring side of himself to emerge. Penny broke through his remaining barriers. She reminded him of a time when he had felt love from another person. Graham Gavin had shown him how to work with people, not endlessly compete. He’d proved to him there were good people and he could be part of a positive group. His wife and children showed him a different version of what he believed a family could be. One filled with support and care, not neglect and pain.


I wanted to think I had something to do with his change. That somehow, in someway, I had shown him love was possible. Maybe not with me, but it was an emotion he was capable of giving and receiving. He didn’t give himself enough credit, though.


I wasn’t sure when I realized I had fallen in love with him. The seed might have been planted on our wedding day and it grew every time he shed a bit more of his caustic, hurtful nature. Every real smile and easy laugh watered the sentiment, making it stronger. Each kind act toward Penny, one of the Gavins, or me, had fed the fledgling emotion until it took hold so tight I knew it would never change.


The day Jenna showed up was the day I knew I loved him. The headache that plagued him all day, made him unusually vulnerable. He not only allowed my care, he seemed to enjoy it. His teasing had been sweet and funny, bordering on affectionate. When he came to bed, he had shown a different side to his character. His voice had been a low hum in the dark as hecomforted me, his apologies rang sincere as he asked for forgiveness for the way he had treated me in the past. Forgiveness I granted—that I had granted days, maybe weeks, before he had asked for it. Then he drew me close and made me feel safe in a way I hadn’t since my parents died. I slept content and warm in his embrace.


The next morning, I had seen yet another side—his sexy, funny side. The way he reacted to waking up entwined together; the amusing way he ordered Jenna out of the room, kissing me until I was breathless. His passion simmered below the surface, his voice low and raspy from sleep. His comment about expanding our boundaries made my heart race, and I knew for the first time in my life, I was falling in love.


Sadly, though, I knew he would never change enough to allow my love. That he would never want my love. We had a truce. To his shock, and mine, we became friends. His insults were now teasing, and hisdismissive attitude gone. However, I knew that was all I was to him. A friend—a collaborator.


I sighed as I dug my toes deeper into the cooling sand. I would have to go inside soon. Once the sun set, it grew colder, and I was already a little chilled, even with a jacket on. I knew I would pass another night pacing and rambling around the small cottage. Chances were I would end up back on the beach, bundled up, walking to try to exhaust myself so I could fall into a restless, unsatisfying sleep. Even in my slumber, I couldn’t escape my thoughts. Asleep or awake, they were filled with him.


Richard.


My eyes burned as I thought of how he had taken care of me when Penny died. How he acted as though I would shatter like glass if he spoke too loud. When he had carried me to his bed, intent on comforting me, I already knew I had to leave him. I couldn’t hide the love I felt much longer. I couldn’t stand the thought of watching his face morph into that cold, haughty mask he used to cover his true self as he dismissed my confession—because he would.


Until he could love himself, he could never love anyone. Not even me.


Impatiently, I brushed the tears away, hugging my knees tight to my chest.


I had given him the one gift I had left—myself. It was all I had, and in truth, I was being selfish. I wanted to feel him. To have him possess my body and be able to keep that memory as the one I held the tightest. It was still painful to think of, but I knew as time passed, eventually the edges would soften and wilt, and I would be able to smile thinking of the passion. Remembering how his mouth felt on mine. The way our bodies joined perfectly, the warmth of his form surrounding mine, and the way his voice sounded as he groaned out my name.


Unable to take the barrage of memories, I stifled a sob and stood up, brushing off my jeans. Turning, I stopped, frozen. Standing in the waning light, tall and stern, hands buried in his coat pockets, staring at me, with an unfathomable expression, was Richard.

RICHARD


She was too thin again. Even with a jacket on, it was evident. Her appetite had been non-existent after Penny passed, and in the few days we’d been apart, I knew she wasn’t eating. She was suffering as much as me.


When I arrived at the small cluster of cottages, I parked far enough away I wouldn’t alert her to my presence if she was, indeed, there. Walking onto the beach, I spied her right away, a small, huddled mass on the sand, staring into the horizon. She looked lost and tiny, and the need to go to her, lift her into my arms and refuse to let her go, was strong. I had never felt anything that intense until today. However, I resisted, knowing I needed to approach her cautiously. She had run once, and I didn’t want her running again.


We stood, staring at each other. I began to head toward her—slow, wary steps, until I was in front of her, inches away. Up close, she looked as ravaged as I felt. Her blue eyes were bloodshot and weary, her skin paler than ever, her hair limp and dull.


“You left me.”


“There was no need to stay.”


I frowned. “No need?”


“Graham had already waved your probationary period. Penny died. You didn’t need the cover of our marriage anymore.”


“What did you think I was going to tell people, Katharine? How did you expect me to explain your sudden disappearance?”


She waved her hand dismissively. “You always tell me how good you think on your feet, Richard. I assumed you’d tell them I was overwhelmed with losing Penny and went away to clear my head. You could string it along for a while, then tell them we’d been having problems, and I decided not to come back.”


“So you expected me to blame you. Lay it all at your feet.”


She swayed slightly. “What would it matter? I wouldn’t contest it.”


“Of course not. Because you weren’t there.”


“Exactly.”


“But it did matter. It does matter to me.”


Her brow furrowed as she watched me.


I took a step forward, wanting to be near her. Needing to touch her, worried at how fragile she seemed to be. “You left things behind. Things I would think were important to you.”


“I was going to contact you and ask you to send them—wherever I ended up settling.”


“You didn’t take your car or bankcard. How were you planning on accessing the rest of your money?”


She stuck out her stubborn chin. “I took what I earned.”


“No, you earned so much more, Katharine.”


Her lips trembled. “Why are you here? H–How did you find me?”


“I came here for you. A friend suggested I start at the beginning.”


“I don’t understand.”


“Graham told me where to find you.”


“Graham?” She frowned, looking confused. “How . . . how did he know?”


“He had a suspicion, and because he listened better than I ever did, he knew the answer was in our home. He told me to look. He refused to tell me. He said I had to figure all this out on my own.”


“I–I don’t understand.”


“After you left, I did a lot of thinking. I wallowed some, drank too much, and ran around looking for you. Finally, I realized I couldn’t do it anymore.”


“Couldn’t do what?”


“I finally understood what you were feeling. My life had become one lie after another. I couldn’t tell where reality ended and the lies began anymore. Even at my worst, when I was a complete bastard, I was honest about it. I had been hiding for so long and I didn’t want to hide anymore. I told Graham you left me.”


A tear ran down her face.


“Then I told him everything. Every single, fucking lie.She gasped. “No! Richard—why did you do that? You had it all. Everything you wanted! Everything you worked so hard for! Why did you throw it away?”


I grasped her arms, shaking her a little. “Don’t you get it, Katharine? Don’t you see?”


“See what?” she cried.


“I didn’t have everything! Not without you! I had nothing, and without you, it all meant nothing! The one real thing I had, the one honest, real thing was you!”


Her eyes grew round and she shook her head. “You don’t mean that.”


“I do. I came here for you.”


“Why? You don’t need me.”


I ran my hands up her arms, over her shoulders and neck, cupping her face—her tired, beautiful face—between my palms. “I do need you.” I met her weary gaze with my determined one, speaking the words I had only ever spoken once in my lifetime. Back then, I spoke them with a childish mindset, and the words really had no meaning. Now though—they meant everything.


“I love you, Katharine.”


Her hands wrapped around my wrists, the doubt plain on her panicked face. “No,” she breathed.


I leaned my forehead to hers. “I do. I need you so much. I miss my friend, my wife. I miss you.”


A wild sob broke from her throat. I gathered her in my arms, refusing to allow her to escape. She pushed at my chest, fighting against the comfort I needed to give her.


“You can’t run. I’ll follow you, sweetheart. I’ll follow you anywhere I pressed a kiss to her head. “Don’t leave me alone again, my Katy. I couldn’t bear it.


She broke. Flinging her arms around my neck, she buried her face in my chest as hot tears soaked my shirt. I lifted her into my arms, and carried her across the hard sand toward the bright blue cottage at the end. It was the one with the white shutters she wrote about in her journal.


I held her tight, dropping light kisses on her head. I wasn’t letting her go.





The rustic cottage was exactly how I pictured it in my head from the description in her journal. A well-worn sofa and chair were in front of a fireplace. To the left was a rudimentary kitchen with a table and two chairs. An open door led to a small bedroom, and beside it, a bathroom. That was the entire cottage. I sat Katy on the sofa and turned to the fireplace. Soot and smoke from years of use had settled into the stone and brick, turning the entire mantle a dull gray. I added some logs and kindling, wanting a fire to warm up the cool interior.


“The flue sticks.” Katy kneeled beside me, reaching past me to tug on the duct.


I struck a match, making sure the kindling caught, then stood, replacing the small screen. Bending down, I brought her to her feet, tugging her damp jacket off her shoulders, tossing it to the side. Wrapping my arms around her, I held her tight, the sense of relief saturating my body. She shivered, a long, low breath escaping her mouth. I cradled her head in my hands, dropping a kiss to her crown. She tilted her head back, the firelight dancing over her features, highlighting the delicate contours of her face.


“I can’t believe you’re here.”


“Did you really think I wouldn’t try to find you, Katy?”


“I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking. I only knew I had to go.” I pulled her to the sofa, gathering her hands into mine. “Why, sweetheart? Why did you run?”


“Because I fell in love with you, and I didn’t think you could love me back. I couldn’t hide it any longer, and I knew when you realized how I felt you’d—”


My heart clenched at her words. She loved me. I squeezed her hands, prompting her. “I’d what?”


“You’d turn back into the Richard I hated and laugh at me. You didn’t need me anymore and you would tell me to go. I thought it would be easier if I went.”


“Were you planning on coming back at all?”


“Only to find out what you wanted to do and get my things. I assumed you wouldn’t want me around anymore.”


“You thought wrong. About all of it. I need you. I want you back. I . . .” I faltered. “I love you.” She looked down at our joined hands, then back up. Bewilderment was evident in her expression; blatant disbelief was in her eyes. I couldn’t blame her, but I wanted to eradicate both.


“You don’t believe me.”


“I don’t know what to believe,” she admitted.


I slid closer, knowing I needed to find a way to convince her I was sincere. My gaze swept the small cottage as I mulled over my words, landing on the small urn sitting on the fireplace mantle.


“Did you bring Penny’s ashes with you to scatter them?” I asked.


“Yes. We had many happy memories here. She worked hard to make sure I could come here every year. She and Burt used to come here, too. She scattered his ashes on the beach.” She swallowed, voice quivering. “I thought maybe, somehow, they’d meet up and be together again in the sand andwater.” Her gaze lifted to mine. “I guess that seems silly.”


I lifted her hand to my mouth, kissing the knuckles. “Silly? No. It sounds like a sweet gesture. Something a gentle soul like you would think of.”


“A gentle soul?”


“You are one, Katy. I realized it a few weeks ago, when I stopped being such a bastard. I watched you, the way you were with Penny. The interactions you had with the Gavin family. The kindness you showed to the staff at the home.” I traced the back of my fingers down her cheek, the skin like silk under my touch. “The way you treated me. You give. You constantly give. I had never experienced that until you came into my life. I didn’t think there was anyone like you on this earth.”


I bent closer, needing her to see the sincerity in my eyes. “I didn’t think anyone like you could ever be a part of my life.”“Because you didn’t deserve it?”


“Because I didn’t believe in love.”


Her reply was a whisper. “And now?”


“I know now I can love someone. I do love someone. I love you.” I held up my hand when she started to speak. “I know you might not believe me, Katy. It’s true, though. You taught me to love. You showed me everything you said was true. What I feel for you makes me stronger. It makes me want to be a good man for you. Be honest and real. That’s why I came clean with Graham. I knew the only way I had a chance to get you back, and keep you, was to be honest. Make you proud.”


“When?”


“Pardon?”


“When did you start to change? When did you stop disliking me?”


I shrugged. “I think maybe the day you told me to go Bleep myself. That was the first time I saw the real Katharine. You’d been hiding that fire.”


“I had to. I needed my job. Penny was far more important than you or your nasty attitude.”


“I know. My behavior was horrendous. How you managed to get past any of it and agree to be with me—even for Penny—is still a mystery. That night you told me your story and let me know exactly what you thought of me was an eye-opener. I don’t think I’ve ever sobered up as fast in my life. And once again, you forgave me—you married me.”


“I had given you my word.”


“Which you could have backed out of easily. I expected you to, but once more, you surprised me. You surprised me at every turn.” Smiling, I tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Not much surprises me, yet you do—constantly. I like it.”


She smiled back, her expression not as wary as it had been.


“The most amazing thing to me was, and is, the way you were with me.”


“What do you mean?”


“All I asked, all I expected, was for you to put on an act when we were out together. I fully expected you to ignore me when we were in the privacy of the condo. I know I planned to ignore you. But . . .”


“But, what?”


“I couldn’t ignore you. You were everywhere. Without even trying, you were in my head—it was as natural as breathing. The condo became a home with you there. You teased and laughed with me. You took care of me—no one has done that my entire life. Your opinion became paramount. Everything I did, I wanted to share with you. Instead of ignoring you, I wanted more time with you. I wanted to know everything about you.”


She gazed at me, her eyes wide. “And Penny. I loved spending time with her. Hearing the stories she shared about you. I got to know more of you each time I saw her, and the more I knew, the more I fell, until the moment I realized how deeply I was in love with you.”


I gathered her hands in mine, holding them tight. “None of my cruelness changed you. Instead, your sweetness changed me, Katy. You and Penny brought out that little boy who could still love.”


“What if he forgets again?”


I shook my head. “He won’t. He can’t—not as long as I have you.” I lifted her hand. “You left your wedding rings behind, yet you’re wearing this ring.” I tapped the diamond band on her finger. “You moved it to your left hand. Why?”


“Because you gave it to me. It was the first thing you’d given me that you didn’t have to.” Her voice caught. “I–I put it there because it was closer to my heart.” I shut my eyes, hoping I understood the meaning behind her words. Pressing her hand to my face, I opened my eyes to look into hers. Tears swam in the depths of her expressive blue gaze. “I gave you my heart, too, Katy. Will you keep it, as well?”


She drew in a breath that stuttered and shook her small frame.


“You gave me your body. I want your heart. I want your love. I need it. I need you.”


“Say it, Richard.” A tear slipped down her cheek.


“I love you, Katharine VanRyan. I want you to come home with me. Make my life complete. I’ll do whatever it takes to get you to believe me. To make you believe in me.”


“I already do.”


I cupped her face, my thumbs tracing frantic circles on her skin as my heartbeat sped up. “And?” “I love you, Richard. I love you so much, it scares me.”


“Why are you scared?”


“You could break me.”


I shook my head. “It’s you who’s broken me, Katy. I’m yours.”


“I’m yours, too.”


That was all I needed. Pulling her to me, I covered her mouth with mine, groaning at the sensation of having her close. Our lips moved, tongues stroked and caressed as we reacquainted ourselves with each other. Her arms wound around my neck, holding me tight as I folded mine around her like a steel cage.


One I didn’t plan to release her from—ever.

CHAPTER 30
RICHARD


I LIFTED MY HEAD, SQUINTING in the silent darkness. We had been sitting, holding each other, needing the closeness. I didn’t know for how long, but enough for night to have descended. “I need to add some more logs,” I murmured. “The fire is going to die.”


“I like it right here. I’m warm enough.”


I chuckled and pressed a kiss to her head. “We have to move eventually.”


“I should make us something to eat.”


“I need to find a place to stay.”


She froze. “You aren’t staying here?”


Tenderly, I cupped her face, brushing a kiss to her lips. “I want to. But I don’t want to push.”


“It’s a queen-size bed.”


I quirked my eyebrow at her. “Small for us. I suppose I’ll have to snuggle with you. I guess if it’s the sacrifice I have to make—”


Her lips curled into a smile. “I suppose so.”


“I’ve missed snuggling with you. I’ve missed your warmth and your smell.”


“Well then, I guess you better stay.”


“I guess so.” I paused, needing to ask her the question that had been simmering in the back of my mind for days. “I need to ask you something, Katy.”


She drifted her finger over my stubble. “I like hearing you call me that.”


I tweaked her nose. “Good. I like saying it.”


Her expression changed to serious. “Now, what did you want to ask me?” I shifted, acutely uncomfortable. “The night before you left. The night we made love.”


“Is that what it was?”


“Yes,” I said firmly. “It was.”


“What about it?”


I got straight to the point. “I didn’t wear a condom. Is there any chance you’re pregnant?”


She shook her head, looking embarrassed. “When I was young, I had a lot of trouble with, ah, my periods. They put me on birth control pills to regulate them. I still have trouble, so I’m still on them.”


“Oh.” I sighed in relief.


“Don’t worry, Richard.” She looked away. “I know how you feel about children.”


The sadness in her voice hurt me, and I slipped my hand under her chin, forcing her to look at me. “You told me once you thought if I loved the mother, I would love the child. I think, perhaps, you were right.”


“So you want children?”


I fidgeted on the sofa, unsure how to answer. “This is all very new to me. I never thought I could love anyone. I’ve barely come to terms with the fact I’m so deeply in love with you, I can’t function without you. You knocked down every idea I held as the truth. I need you. I love you.” I shook my head with a wry smile. “I suppose it’s only natural to assume my thoughts on children could change as well.”


“It’s something we could talk about—later on?”


“Yes. I would ask for a little time, however. I want to have you to myself for a while. I want to know you—all of you—and you to know me.”


“I think that’s smart.”


“You’ll have to help me, sweetheart. I know nothing about kids. Nothing. The thought of screwing one up the way my parents did terrifies the Bleep out of me, if I’m being honest.”


She tilted her head, studying me. “Richard VanRyan. You surpass every goal you have ever set for yourself. Do you really think I’d let you fail as a father?”


A grin tugged at my lips. “I suppose not, no.”


“It won’t happen. Knowing you’re willing to discuss it is a huge step.”


“You’re sure you’re not pregnant now?”


“Yep. Sure.”


“Okay, then. I guess we’ll discuss this again—in the future.”


She nodded. “The future.”


I slipped my hand into my pocket and held up her rings. “In the meantime, I want you to have these back. I want them on your finger.” I took her hand. “I know you think they meant nothing, Katy, but they mean everything. They mean you’re mine.” I indicated her finger. “May I?”


She nodded. I tugged the small diamond band off and transferred it to her right hand, sliding her wedding band and the larger diamond back on her left hand. Bending low, I pressed a kiss to the rings.


“That’s where they belong.”


“Yes.”


I grabbed my coat from the chair and withdrew the folded papers from the inside pocket.


“What are those?”


“Our contract—both our copies.”


“Oh.”


“It doesn’t mean anything anymore, Katy. It hasn’t for a long time. It’s time to get rid of it.”


I held them up, tearing them in half. I carried them to the fireplace and dropped them into the flames. I watched as the edges turned black and curled, the flames licking at the pages until they were nothing but ash. Katy stood beside me, watching in silence.


I wrapped my arm around her waist. “The one document between us now is our marriage license. From today onward, it’s what holds us together.”


She looked up, a tender expression on her face. “I like that.”


“Maybe, once things have settled, you’d marry me again?”


Her eyes glowed. “Really?”


“Yes. Maybe somewhere prettier than city hall. I’d like you to have the wedding you deserve.”


“I kind of liked our wedding. I liked dancing with you.”


“Yeah?”


She nodded. “You were nice.” “I promise to be far nicer from now on. I want to be the man I should be for you.”


“You are.”


“Be patient with me, Katy. I’m gonna Bleep this up sometimes.”


She laughed low, stroking my cheek. “Everyone does. No one is perfect.”


“But you’ll stick with me?”


“Like glue.”


I dropped a kiss to her full mouth. “Then we’re good.”





I peered around her shoulder at the contents of the small refrigerator. The old wire shelves held a small amount of food. Tugging her aside, I picked up the carton of eggs, opening the lid. Only two were missing. The loaf of bread was barely touched, the package of cheese unopened, and the cream was almost full. There were two apples, some unopened yogurt, and on the counter, a few bananas. That was it. My suspicions about her lack of appetite were confirmed.


I shut the door, turning to face her. “This is all the food you have? Have you been eating at all?”


“Not much,” she admitted. “I wasn’t hungry.”


I recalled the small town I drove through on my way to the cottages. There was a little grocery store and I was sure I’d passed a restaurant. “I’ll take you into town for supper. You need to eat.”


She shook her head. “Nothing is open this time of night, Richard. It’s off-season. We’d have to drive farther to get to a bigger town. It’s a good hour away.”


“That’s fine.”


“I can make us some scrambled eggs.” I relented easily, not really wanting to go anywhere. “All right. I’ll make toast.”


“You can make toast?” She gasped, laying her hand on her heart.


I yanked her close, kissing her teasing mouth. “Yes. My wife taught me. She’s a smart woman.”


Her cheek folded in, and I knew she was chewing on it. I tapped the rounded flesh. “Stop it.”


“I like it when you call me your wife,” she admitted.


“It’s funny how often I found myself thinking of you as such. Never Katharine or Katy, but my wife. I liked the way it sounded, although I never questioned why.” I snorted. “Too stupid to realize how I felt about you, even in my own head.”


“Or too scared.”


The air caught in my throat. As usual, she hit the nail on the head. I had been too scared to admit what I was feeling. To admit an idea I had my entire life was wrong.


“I’m not scared of loving you anymore, Katy. I’m only scared of losing you.”


She curled herself into me, resting her head on my shoulder. I cradled her close, stroking through her hair in long passes.


“I’m here,” she whispered. “You found me.”


“Thank God.”

I set down my plate on the old coffee table, my gaze on Katy. The firelight played over her face, the flames casting a red glow around her head. She pulled her legs to her chest, chin resting on them as she stared into space. She hadn’t eaten much, but she did finish the toast. I polished off all the eggs and ate both her apples. We’d replace them, and more, in the morning. For now, though, I needed to find out how she wanted to proceed together on the road ahead of us.


“What would you like to do, Katy?”


She turned her face toward me. “Hmmm?”


I ran my knuckles down her cheek. “Tomorrow. The next day. The one after. Tell me what you’re thinking.”


“I don’t know.”


“How long did you want to stay here? Or do you want to go home?” A sudden tightness enveloped my torso, making me breathless. “Are you coming home?”


She slipped her hand into mine, one word easing my worry. “Yes.”


“Okay. Good. When?”


“Can we stay here for a few days? Or if you have to get back, I’ll follow you then?” I shook my head. “I’m not leaving here without you. If you want to stay, we can. I’ll bring you back in the summer, too.”


“The cottages won’t be here in the summer.”


“Why?”


“Scott passed away last year. His son, Bill, is selling the land. After speaking with him, I gathered whoever buys it will tear down all the cottages and develop something new and modern.” She looked around the room, her eyes drinking in memories. “He told me business has been poor, but it’s a good time to sell because of the location. The land is worth a lot of money. It’s a good opportunity for his family.”


“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I know this place is special to you.”


She smiled, rubbing her cheek on my hand. “I have my memories. I’m grateful Bill let me come back one last time.” She sighed, the sound low and sad. “I have one more good memory to add.”


“We can make our own memories, together. New ones.”


She nodded.


“Do you want me to buy this place for you?” I searched her eyes. “I can afford it,” I added. “If you want me to, I will.”


“No! No, Richard. You don’t have to buy an entire resort for me. What on earth would I do with it?”


“If it made you happy, I would. We’d figure something out. It’s probably a good investment. We could rebuild it, including a bright blue cottage with white shutters just for you.”


She leaned forward, teary-eyed and kissed the corner of my mouth. “Thank you, my darling, but no. The fact you would offer means more than I can say.”


“Okay. If you change your mind, let me know.”


“I’ll do that.”


I reclined back on the sofa, looking around the room, an idea forming in my head. I would have to see if I could arrange it. I tugged on Katy’s legs, bringing them onto my lap.


“We’re going to have a lot of questions to answer when we get back.”


“I know.” She drew in a deep breath. “Do you think they’ll ever forgive us?”


I was honest. “I don’t know.”


Graham had been more than fair after our talk. However, I knew it wasn’t over. Once I had figured out her whereabouts, I wasted no time throwing a few things into a bag and heading for the car to arrive before dark. I had called him prior to leaving, telling him I knew where Katy was and I was going to find her. He had been encouraging and wished me luck. “I hope you find your happiness, Richard. Believe you deserve it and hold on to it.”


“Thank you.”


“Call me when you get back. We’ll talk.”


“I will. Thank you, Graham.”


No other words had been spoken and no reminder of a job waiting. I had no idea what the future held for my career. All I knew right now was that Katy was my future. That was enough.


“I may not have a job, Katy.”


“What will you do?”


“We”—I stressed the word—“we may have to move. I can put out feelers in Toronto or Calgary, maybe Vancouver.”


She nodded, playing with my fingers. She kept turning my wedding band around, twisting it nervously.


“Will you go with me?”


Her head shot up and she met my gaze. “I’ll go anywhere with you, Richard.” “Okay, then. We’ll figure it out, together.”


“What if we don’t have to?”


“I’d be ecstatic. I like working for Graham. I enjoy the positive energy and the teamwork.” I barked out a laugh. “I’m even fond of that dynamo they call Jenna.”


“I think you’re fond of them all.”


“I am. It’s what I want, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to earn Graham’s trust back. As long as he gives me the chance to do so, we’ll stay. If not, we’ll have to move on.”


“Okay.”


“It’s as simple as that for you? After everything, you’ll pack up and follow me?”


She rested her head on the sofa. “I love you, Richard. If you have to leave, then so do I. The past is just that now—the past. Like the contract you burned, it’s gone. I don’t want to dwell on it or keep throwing it in your face. That’s not how love works. It’s not how I work.”


In a second, I had yanked her on my lap and was kissing her with all the emotion I felt. Every thought and new sensation went into my kiss. Love, want, desire, relief of having found her—and an emotion I had never known—joy. Joy she was here, joy she returned my love, and joy for the future, because the future contained my Katy.


I tilted her head, needing her closer, wanting more of her in every way. My arms locked around her, molding her softness to my hard body. I slipped my hands up her shirt, pressing against the smooth expanse of her back, groaning with desire.


“Please, baby,” I begged, needing more.


“Bed,” she whispered against my mouth. “Take me to bed, Richard.”


I stood up, holding her. I didn’t need to be told twice.

The bed was old and it creaked. The headboard ricocheted off the wall repeatedly as I took her, the sheets bunching around our bodies from our frenzied coupling. None of it mattered.


Before we hit the mattress, I tore off her shirt, yanking her pants away, leaving her bare to my thirsty gaze. I ran my hands over her warm skin, wanting to feel the silkiness under my fingers. She tugged at my sweatshirt, and I fell on top of her, needing her mouth back. She proved adept at using her small feet to push down my sweats so we were skin to skin, my aching cock trapped between us. I memorized her all over again with my hands and mouth. Her rosy nipples begged for my attention, growing to hard peaks under my tongue. The sweet indent of her waist on the right side was ticklish, and I reveled in her giggles as I feathered it with light kisses, and teased her skin. The swell of her hips fit perfectly in my hands as I pressed down gently, opening her up to me. I kissed her belly button, dipping my tongue in to taste the saltiness of her skin. I rained small kisses down to her thighs; her tiny gasps ramping up my desire. Slipping my fingers into her wet heat, I hissed at the sensation. “God, Katy, I want you, baby.”


She sat up, wrapping me tight in her arms, drawing me back down. “Take me,” she pleaded.


She wound her legs around my hips, urging me to the place where I was desperate to be buried. I stilled as I slid inside, inch-by-inch, until our bodies were flush. Our eyes locked, and I lowered my mouth to hers as I began to move. Slow, even thrusts that built until we were both lost in the heat of us. She clung to me, fingers digging into my back, grabbing my ass, yanking on my hair, as she keened and whimpered my name. I clutched her tight, taking her now with powerful thrusts, our sweat-soaked skin sliding together, our bodies moving as one. With a guttural cry, I buried my face into her neck as she stiffened, her body tightening around me. My orgasm washed over me, cresting hard, every nerve on fire as I released deep inside her, groaning out her name.


“Katy! My Katy.”


Sliding my arms around her back, I rolled to the side, holding her close, pressing kisses to her face, hair, and neck. She hummed, contented and warm, into my chest.


“Love you,” she whispered.


“I love you,” I breathed into her skin. I felt around on the floor, finding a blanket, which I drew up over her bare skin, tucking it around her neck. She curled into my side, fingers tracing a slow pattern over my heart.


“Tomorrow,” I vowed. “Tomorrow we start fresh. Real. Us.”


“Us,” she repeated. “Yes.”


I waited until she fell asleep before I allowed myself to drift off. I shut my eyes, knowing when I awoke she would be beside me.


Secure in that knowledge, I slept.

CHAPTER 31
RICHARD


I SHOOK BILL’S HAND AND walked across the beach. Katy was sitting on the sand, a sketchbook on her knees, pencil in hand, but she was motionless. The breeze picked up the strands of her hair, blowing them back like ribbons of dark silk. I sank down behind her, pulling her back into my embrace.


“Hey.”


She tilted her head back, observing me upside down. “Hi. What were you talking to Bill about for so long?” A frown crossed her face. “Please tell me you didn’t ask about buying the resort.”


I snickered at the expression on her face and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “No. I think he has a buyer. I was thanking him for letting you come back, and we were talking about other things. Where he is moving to, stuff like that.”


She pursed her lips and shrugged, turning back to face the water.


“What are you sketching?”


She held up the book. “Nothing. I’m enjoying the view.”


I wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her tight. “It’s a great view.”


“Penny and I used to build bonfires, cook our supper over them, and watch the sunset.”


“We can do that.”


“You’d eat a hotdog skewered on a stick?”


“Only if there’s mustard. And marshmallows after.”


“Huh.”


Leaning down, I nipped the skin at the juncture of her neck. “You don’t think I’ve ever done any outdoor activities, Katy? I built the fire last night.”


“I wondered where you’d learned to build a fire,” she admitted.


“It’s a man thing. It’s in our genes.”


Twisting around, she rolled her eyes. “Uh-huh.”


Laughing, I pushed the hair from her face. “We did camping trips at school. They taught us how to build a fire, pitch a tent, that sort of thing.”


“You did that at school?”


I rested my chin on her shoulder. “When I was a teenager and stayed at school over spring break, they offered different activities. Camping was one of them. I liked it. And yes, I even liked the hotdogs. I’m not a total snob.”


I expected one of her quick comebacks; instead, she pivoted, reached up, and cupped my cheek. “You stayed at school rather than go to your parents’?”


“If given the choice, yes. They could get away with me not coming home if they told people I was on a school trip or something. I avoided an entire summer when I was fourteen. I did go on a school trip, then I went to camp for a month. It was the best summer of my life.”


“I’m sorry, my darling.”


“Don’t feel sorry for me,” I snapped.


“We had this discussion already. I do feel bad for the child who was abandoned.” She pushed up to her feet. “And, you, Mr. VanRyan, are being rude again.”


She stomped away, her sketchbook under her arm. I scrambled to my feet, catching up to her in a few strides. Those short legs of hers couldn’t cover the ground the way mine could, thank goodness. I grabbed her around the waist, spinning her, and holding her to me.


“I’m being a dick again. Let me apologize.”


She stared at my chest.


“Katy.”


She looked up, meeting my gaze.


“I’m sorry. I strike out without thinking. I’m not used to talking about my past or having someone care about how I felt then, or now.”


“I do care.”


I lifted her up, bringing her face level with mine. “I know. I’m trying to get used to it, okay? Cut me a little slack.” I kissed the corner of her mouth. “I’m new at this trying to be a good guy thing.”


Her eyes softened, and I kissed her again.


“Was that our first fight?”


“Not sure I’d call it a first or a fight.” She smirked.


“Still, I think make-up sex is needed, yeah?” She tried to look stern, but an impish grin broke out on her face.


I swung her up into my arms, bridal style, striding toward the cottage. “Come on, Mrs. VanRyan. Let me make it up to you. After, we’ll go back into town for hotdogs and marshmallows.”


“And mustard.”


I tossed her on the bed, yanking my shirt over my head. “And mustard.”





I threw another piece of wood on the bonfire and crossed my legs. Katy curled up beside me, her head on my shoulder. I patted her knee. “Warm enough?”


She nodded, bringing the blanket tighter around her shoulders. “It gets cold when it’s dark now.”


“It is fall.” “I know.”


“How much longer do you want to stay?”


She sighed, her fingers fiddling with the blanket. “I suppose we should get back.”


It had been three days since I arrived. It was the first time in my adult life I had no place to be—no office to head to, no meetings planned, no agenda. The one thing I had to concentrate on was Katy. Aside from the couple trips into town for supplies, we hadn’t left the resort. We walked the beach, made use of the small game room where I tried to teach her the game of checkers and failed miserably, and used the time to know each other better. We talked, often for hours at a time. She knew more about me than anyone in my life. She had a way of asking questions that made me want to tell her things I’d never shared with another person. She shared more stories of her life prior to and after she met Penny. Some of the stories she told, about the time she was alone and on the streets, made me hold her tight and thank whatever deity was listening for keeping her safe.


We made love, often. I couldn’t get enough of her. The body I once found unappealing was now my version of perfection. She fit me so well, and the passion I felt for her was paramount. Her lack of experience made her response to me even more erotic. I loved watching her discover the passionate side of her nature.


She was right, however. We did have to go back to our life, or what was left of it, and figure out what our future held.


“Why don’t we stay another couple days, then we’ll head back? I heard on the radio the weather is changing, so we’d be stuck in the cottage anyway. Not”—I grinned, leaning forward and kissing her—“that I’d object being stuck inside with nothing to do except stay in bed with you.”


“All right,” she agreed with a soft laugh, then turned serious. “I still have to scatter Penny’s ashes.”


“Are you ready to do that, sweetheart?”


Her eyes had a far-away look in them when she spoke. “The fall was her favorite time of year. She didn’t like the heat of the summer. She looked forward to coming here as much as I did. I think she’d like to stay here.”


“As long as you’re sure.”


“Tomorrow,” she whispered.


I lifted her over to my lap, pressing a kiss to her head. “Tomorrow.”

I woke up, the fluttering of panic fast in my chest when the spot beside me was empty. I sat up, throwing the blanket back and striding out of the bedroom. I relaxed when I spotted Katy on the beach. She stood, facing the water, holding something to her chest. I glanced over, confirming the fact Penny’s urn was gone from the mantle.


My wife was saying goodbye.


Returning to the bedroom, I grabbed my pants, tugging them on. I picked up my T-shirt and yanked it over my head as I hurried outside, crossing the beach. The weather system they had predicted was already making its presence known. The waves were higher, hitting the sand with loud slaps. The wind was picking up, and I knew, soon, the rain would follow, and the storm would make my wife nervous.


I reached her side, enveloping her in my arms.


“I was waiting for you.”


“You should have woken me up.”


“I wanted a little time. I knew you wouldn’t be far behind me.”


“Are you sure?”


She smiled up at me, the glimmer of tears in her eyes telling me the whole story. “Yes.”


“Okay, sweetheart.” I reached for the urn. “Do you want me to open it?”


“Please.”


I held the simple green container in my hand, running my fingers over the wildflowers that decorated its smooth surface.


“Thank you.” I murmured to Penny. “You won’t regret trusting me.”


Carefully, I opened the urn and handed Katy the small bag. She walked away from me toward the edge of the water. I let her go alone, knowing what a personal, emotional moment this was for her.


She was motionless. I could see her lips moving, and I knew she was saying her final farewell. She crouched down, opening the bag and letting the contents drain to the sand at her feet. She stood up, shaking the bag, the final remains caught and taken by the wind. Her head bowed, and she wrapped her arms around her waist, a solitary figure against the backdrop of the heavy skies.


I wanted to go to her, comfort her, but I was still unsure how to handle all the emotions I had when dealing with Katy. Should I leave her alone? Wrap her in my arms?


She solved my dilemma, turning and holding out her hand wordlessly. I grasped it and brought her close.


“Are you all right?”


She looked up, her eyes damp. “I will be.”


“Can I do something?”


“You already are.” “I want to do more.”


“Take me home, Richard. I’m ready.”


“Okay, sweetheart.”





After we left the beach, it hadn’t taken us long to gather the few things she had brought to the cottage. I packed up the remaining food and threw it all in the trunk. I waited, giving her some privacy in the cottage for yet another goodbye.


The drive home was in direct contrast to the frantic pace I had set getting to the resort. Katy was beside me, her hand clasped in mine as we made our way back to the city. I drove leisurely, giving her a chance to relax. I stole glances at her frequently.


“I know you’re looking at me.”


“I like looking at you.” “I’m fine, Richard. Really, I am.”


“Are you nervous about coming back with me? The difference in our relationship?”


She leaned her head back, looking at me. “Nervous?”


“It’s all changed now, Katy. We’re going home as a real married couple. For starters, as soon as we get home, your things are coming to my room. Our room. For good.”


“I know. You get to snuggle me every night.”


“And you get to listen to me snore.” Then I became serious. “We have a lot to face together.”


“And we’ll do it.” She hesitated. “Are you nervous?”


“In some ways, yes.”


“Why?”


I pulled over to the side of the road, draping my arm over the back of her seat. “I’m still me, Katy. Deep inside I’m still the same asshole. I have a temper. I’m not perfect—not by a long shot.”


“I don’t expect you to be perfect, Richard. But I don’t think the asshole inside is the same as the one you used to be.”


“You have a great deal of faith in me.”


“I’ve seen the change in you.” She smiled. “Plus the fact, I love you.”


“I’m worried I’ll let you down.”


“What about when I get mad at you and I act like an asshole?”


That made me chuckle. “Since I’m sure it will be justified, when it happens, we’ll deal with it.”


“We’ll deal with it all together, Richard. Asshole behavior included.”


“I swear I’ll try to be better.”


“I know you’ll try, and even more, I know you’ll succeed.” “Why are you so sure?”


“Because you love me.”


Running my knuckles down her cheek, I nodded. “I do, sweetheart. Very much.”


She covered my hand and kissed the palm. “We all have our moments, you know. Even me.”


“Is that right?”


“I used to get angry at the way you’d talk to me when you were being more . . . dickish than usual.”


“You hid it well.”


“I got even, in my own way.”


“Now you’ve piqued my curiosity. Do tell me, how did you get even with me?”


The ghost of a smile played her lips.


“Katy?”


“On the days you were extra pissy, I would swap out your low-fat cheese and mayo for the full-fat version on your sandwiches. I never cut the fat out of your foam in your lattes—ever actually. I just let you think I did.”


“What?”


“I forgot to ask one day when I was getting your sandwich and you never noticed. It was my own silent revenge.”


“That was your way of getting even?”


“I figured if your pants got tighter, you might have to work out a little harder. Maybe sweat the asshole out of you.”


I started to chuckle. That turned into laughter. Deep, belly laughs that made my eyes water.


“Such a vindictive bitch you are, sweetheart. I’m glad you’re on my side now. My treadmill trembles over your immense wrath.”


“Go Bleep yourself, VanRyan.”


Leaning over the console, I kissed her. She had no idea how incredibly endearing she was in this moment, or how much my love for her increased every time she uttered those words. Once spoken in anger, and now in jest, they were a reminder of how far we had come together.


“Take me home, Richard.”


“Okay, sweetheart.”


I pulled back onto the road, my nerves gone and a smile on my face.

updated @samebony1 and @greatlinda

Chaiii,we go love ooo o!!! Tnx sir for dis breath taking story

Tnx for d update

Ak86:
updated @samebony1 and @greatlinda

Thanks AK86, now the story can come to abkissful end with Richard buying the resort, rebuild it with him and Kathy running it.

Ak86:
updated @samebony1 and @greatlinda

Thanks AK86, now the story can come to end with Richard buying the resort, rebuild it with him and Kathy running it.

Well done Ak86
This is incredible
I have mentioned this in my previous comment that Richard will fall for katy
Women has the power and it is natural irrespective of status who involved
Appreciate and sweet popcorn for you

CHAPTER 32
RICHARD


THE CONDO WAS SILENT WHEN we arrived. I set down our bags and looked at the mess I had left behind.


“I should have cleaned up. I was anxious to get to you.”


She walked around, picking up a couple bottles. “You need to stop drinking so much scotch.”


The words were out before I could stop them. “You need to stop leaving me.”


Her eyes widened.


I tugged on my cowlick. “Shit. Home five minutes and the asshole comes out.”


“I’m going to give you that one. I shouldn’t have run. I should have stayed and talked it out with you.”Reaching out, I brought her into my arms. “You had no reason to trust me, then. I’ll make sure you won’t have that excuse next time. Not,” I added, “that there is going to be a next time.”


She nuzzled close. “No.”


“Then we’re good?”


“Yep.”


Glass crunched under my feet when I moved, and I looked down with a grimace. “Careful.”


“Another asshole moment?”


“A big one,” I acknowledged. “I was angry at you—but it passed quickly.”


“I think you were allowed.”


“I’ll get someone in to clean up.”


She shook her head with a grin. “It’s not bad. We can get it done fast.” Bending, she picked up her bag. “But you’re ordering dinner and doing the dishes.”


I grabbed my bag, following her throughthe condo. “There you go—issuing orders.”


“Get used to it.” She turned her head and winked.


I swatted her ass, causing her to yelp and try to hurry ahead of me. She tripped, almost falling on the steps, except I lunged, catching her around the waist. “Sorry, sweetheart. I forgot about your leg. Are you okay?”


She wrapped her arms around my neck. “I’m fine. You can carry me the rest of the way, though.”


Lifting her, I captured her mouth with mine and kept it there all the way to our room. Inside the doorway, I set her on her feet, releasing her lips. “Welcome home, Mrs. VanRyan.”


She smiled up at me, running her fingers along my jaw. “You’re scruffier than normal.”


“I’ll shave later.”“I kinda like it.”


“Then I’ll leave it.”


Rising on the balls of her feet, she pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Okay.” She glanced around. “Where do you want to start?”


I sat down on the mattress, pulling her beside me. “I didn’t change the sheets. They smelled like you—like us, and I couldn’t . . .” My voice trailed off. “I couldn’t.”


“I’m here now.”


“I know.” I stood up. “I’ll get your things. I want them back in here. They never should have left.”


“We weren’t ready. We are now.”


“Yep.”


“All right, then. Let’s get started.”I stepped out of the shower, toweling my hair. Entering the bedroom, I looked around with a low sigh. Katy had moved in. Her clothes were in the closet and dresser, her lotions and girly things in the bathroom. Her bedside table held her books, and her scent was already in the air. She’d been a little shocked when she saw the mess I had made in her room, but she had it straightened while I carried things back and forth.


I dragged on some sweats and a T-shirt and jogged downstairs. The bottles, papers, and broken glass were cleared away, the kitchen already back in order. She sat at the counter, a bottle of wine open, and a glass waiting for me. I took a sip, appreciating the bold flavor of the red wine.


“Dinner?”She looked up from her book. “Pizza is in the oven, waiting.”


I grabbed some plates and set down the box between us. We ate in silence, and although it wasn’t an uncomfortable one, I wanted to know what she was thinking. She seemed contemplative.


I covered her hand with mine. “Where did you go, Katy? What are you thinking about over there?”


She smiled, flipping her hand so our palms pressed together. “I was remembering my first dinner with you. We had pizza and wine that night, too.”


“We did.”


“I was incredibly nervous. I didn’t know what you wanted to discuss with me. You never spoke to me in the office unless it was to bark out an order or tell me what I was doing wrong. Sitting beside you, I had no idea what to expect. I couldn’t believe what you had to say.”I smirked. “I couldn’t believe I was asking you—Miss Elliott—the bane of my existence, to live with me and pretend to be my fiancée.” I shook my head. “I was a rat bastard to you, wasn’t I?”


“Yes, you were.”


“I’m not sure I can ever apologize enough.”


“Stop trying. That was then, this is now.” She laced our fingers together and squeezed. “I like now.”


I lifted our joined hands, kissing her knuckles. “So do I.”


“We still have to face the Gavin family.”


Releasing her hand, I reached for my wine. “I know. I’ll call Graham in the morning. I’m sure we’ll be summoned to their house in due course.”


“What do you think will happen?”


“I don’t know. I expected him to fire me on the spot. When he told me he alreadysuspected I was lying, I was certain of it.” I huffed out a laugh. “Of course, nothing is what I expect anymore, so I’m not the best judge of the situation.”


“Are you prepared for him to fire you?”


“I dread it, to be honest, but if it happens, then we move and start again. I certainly won’t get a reference from him or David. I can only hope my work speaks for itself. Brian can help me with his contacts and I have some of my own. Clients I’ve worked with in the past and such.”


“And if he doesn’t?”


“Then we stay. I want to stay. I want to work for Graham. It’ll take some time, but I’ll show him he can trust me. I’ll work my ass off for him and his company.”


“I know you will.” She met my eyes, smiling sadly. “I hope Laura and Jenna can forgive me.”


“Out of all of this, I regret that the most,” I admitted. “You already lost Penny,and I know how fond you are of both of them. I don’t want you to lose that as well.”


“I guess we’ll know soon enough.”


I nodded. “We will.”

Running a weary hand over my face, I flipped through the documents I had printed from Brian.


The day after we came home, I texted Graham to let him know I was back and Katy was with me. I didn’t receive a response. Katy also texted Jenna and asked if they could meet for coffee, but she was only met with silence. I knew she was upset, though neither of us was surprised.


By the end of the second day, I contacted Brian for some leads in other cities. He seemed surprised by my request but sent along a few for me to look over.Two were in Toronto, one was in the States, and the last one in Calgary. It was by far the most tempting, even if it was the least dynamic of all the companies. At least we’d be surrounded by mountains and close to lakes and amazing scenery.


Although I didn’t want any of them, I was sure the writing was on the wall, in regards to my place at The Gavin Group. It was time to look at my, our, options. I wanted Katy to be happy, and I knew she wouldn’t be in a large, crowded city like Toronto. Also, I had no desire to start commuting hours to get into the office. I had to put away my pride and choose what would be best for us.


I stood up, heading to the kitchen. I needed coffee and to show Katy what Brian had sent over. She looked up from the huge cookbook she was studying and smiled at me.


“What are those?”I tossed the pile of sheets on the counter and reached for the coffee pot. “Job leads.”


“Oh.” She tugged the papers closer. “Okay. Anything good?”


I tapped the top page. “This is interesting.”


She looked it over, frowning. “It’s pretty small compared to what you’re used to.”


I sat down, sipping my coffee. “I’m going to have to make some concessions.”


“Do you have to jump right away?”


“No,” I acknowledged. “I don’t want to be out too long, though. Financially, we’re fine; it’s more the staying on top of my game.”


“Well, in case,” she drawled, “I have some money I can loan you, if you need it.”


I quirked my lips. “Is that so?”


“Uh-huh. I did a job for this asshole who paid me well. It’s just kicking around if youneed it.”


I wound my arm around her waist, tucking her close. “Are you still working for this asshole?”


“No. The asshole disappeared.”


“Is that right? Did a prince on a white steed replace him?”


“No, a complex, demanding, but very sexy and sweet real man did.”


“Sweet?” I snickered. That was a new one for me.


She nodded. “You are, at times, very sweet.”


“Maybe with you. I don’t think anyone else would ever call me sweet.”


“I’m okay with that.”


I rubbed my nose to hers affectionately. “Good.”


Our eyes met, the warmth of her gaze distracting me. Heat bubbled around us, the way it did every time I was close to hernow. Lowering my head, I brushed my lips over hers.


“Now, about that sexy part . . .”


The intercom buzzing startled us both.


“Damn it.” I growled.


“Rain check,” she whispered against my lips.


I wrapped my hand around her neck, holding her close, kissing her hard. “Not a long one. I’ll deal with whatever they want, and then you’re mine.”


I hit the speaker button. “VanRyan.”


“You have visitors, Mr. VanRyan. Mr. and Mrs. Gavin are here to see you.”


I met Katy’s shocked gaze, reaching for her hand.


“Send them up.”I paused prior to opening the door, still holding tight to Katy’s hand. “No matter what, we’re okay, all right?” I said quietly.


“Yes.”


Steeling myself, I swung open the door and was met with Graham’s serious countenance. Laura was beside him, her expression somber, as well. The real kicker was the box Graham held. The last time I’d seen it, I had been packing up my desk.


Even though I wasn’t shocked, and I had suspected this would happen, the rush of disappointment in my chest was crushing. I inhaled sharply, tightening my grip on Katy’s hand. Beside me, she uttered a muffled gasp, her eyes on the box Graham held. I leaned down, pressing a kiss to her head.


“We’re okay,” I reassured her. “Remember?”


“Okay,” she repeated.


I stepped back, not wanting this tohappen in the hallway outside our home. “Come in,” I managed.


Graham set down the box on the floor beside the sofa. I was grateful when Katy spoke up, giving me a few extra seconds to gather myself.


“Can I get you coffee?”


Laura smiled and sat down. “I would appreciate a cup.”


Graham nodded. “As would I.”


I followed her to the kitchen and watched numbly as she set out cups and napkins on a tray, pouring the coffee. “Should I add cookies?” she whispered.


I shrugged. “I, uh, have no idea what the protocol is when your boss comes to fire you, Katy. Cookies seem too nice for the occasion, though.”


She worried at her cheek, and I tapped the side of her face.


“Joke. That was a joke, albeit a bad one.Put out some cookies, sweetheart. We might as well be civilized about this. It’s not as though we weren’t expecting it.”


“Are you going to yell?”


I shook my head. “No. To be honest, I’m too sad to yell.”


She flung her arms around my neck, tugging my head down to her shoulder. “Thank you for telling me. I love you.”


I lifted her, the warmth of her body needed to calm my racing heart. Her feet dangled high above the floor, and I held her close. “That makes this all bearable.” Setting her down on her feet, I picked up the tray. “Let’s go get fired.”I passed out the mugs of coffee with hands that were not as steady as usual. Laura directed a few comments to Katy,inquiring how she was coping in regards to losing Penny. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder when Katy’s voice quivered talking about scattering Penny’s ashes.


Graham watched us closely, setting down his mug.


“I assume the two of you have reached an understanding?”


“There is no understanding, Graham. I’m in love with Katy, and thankfully, she feels the same about me. We’re going forward on equal ground.”


“So this is no longer a marriage-for-show?”


I resisted the urge to tug on the back of my neck. “It ceased being that a long time ago. I was just too obstinate to see or admit it.”


He turned his gaze to Katy. “And you?”


She lifted her chin, the stubborn cleft prominent. “I love him. I have for a while. Iwas too afraid to tell him, in case he didn’t return my feelings.” She threaded her fingers through mine. “But he does, and we’re ready to face the future together.”


“Good.” Graham bent down and picked up the box, setting it on the coffee table. From his pocket, he withdrew my contract, tearing it in half, and placing it on top of the box.


“Well, then,” I muttered. “That hurt more than I thought it would.” I held up my hand as Graham started to speak. “Let me finish. It hurts, but I understand. I came into your business on false pretenses, so I recognize you have to let me go. I want you to know how much I enjoyed working for you. With you. You showed me how a person should run their company.” I swallowed the thickness in my throat. “You and your family came to mean a great deal to both of us. I hope one day you can forgive us.”“Why did you want to work for me?”


I decided to be honest. “At first it was revenge—to get back at David. He disliked you so much, I knew that if I had the chance to work for you, he might very well offer me a partnership to stay. All I wanted was the offer. Then . . .”


“Then?” Graham prompted.


“Then I met you, spoke with you, and it changed. You listened to me, encouraged my ideas. I hadn’t felt that level of excitement or positive reinforcement in years. The revenge became a back seat to wanting to be part of the whole atmosphere you had in the office. I wanted the chance to work with you.” I paused in embarrassment, lowering my voice. “I wanted to make you proud.”


For a moment, the room was silent. Graham spoke up. “I see.”


I cleared my throat. “Again, I apologize. Katy and I wish you well, both personallyand professionally.”


Graham’s fingers tapped out an irregular beat on the top of the box. “David hates me because of the way I chose to live my life. We went to school together, did you know that?”


I shook my head.


“We were friends, once. We even discussed going into business together. As usual with David, it was all or nothing. He expected dedication to the point that you couldn’t possibly maintain a life both inside and outside a business. I met Laura, and I knew I wanted more than just work. When I told him I wasn’t interested, well, we exchanged some heated words. We parted ways; he opened his business and I opened mine. We’re both successful, except his was achieved in an entirely different manner. It’s all tied up in money and business. I’ve lost count of the number of staff he has had through the years. Thequestionable campaigns associated with his company. The number of women connected to his name. I think he’s been married and divorced four times.”


“Five,” I corrected.


He grinned a little, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I guess I missed one along the way. The point is, to him nothing is more important than money. He hates me because I chose to have a life outside of work, and I still became a success. He knows, as well as anyone who knows me does, to me the most successful thing I have, the thing I hold the dearest, is my family. I would give it all up as long as I had them—without even blinking an eye.”


Graham met my gaze steadily. “He has no solid reason in his life to give it up for. That’s why he hates me.”


“I was fast becoming like him until Katy entered my life.”


He nodded. “I’m glad it changed.” He rapped the top of the box with his knuckles. “Which is why I had to end your contract, Richard. It was signed under false pretenses.”


“I appreciate your honesty and bringing my things, Graham.”


“I’m not done yet.”


“Oh?” I asked, confused.


He sat back, an almost amused expression crossing his face. “I find myself down a very talented staff member. I’ve seen your work, Mr. VanRyan, and thought, perhaps, you may fit in with my company.”


I frowned, certain I had heard him incorrectly.


“I’m sorry?”


“I think you are, now, exactly the sort of person I would like on my team.”


“I don’t . . . I don’t understand.”


“I am offering you a job, Richard. With a clean slate.” He reached in his pocket,bringing out a new contract. “We’ll start fresh.”


I swallowed, hardly believing this was happening.


“Why?” I managed through tight lips.


“Because, like Katy, I believe in second chances.” He took Laura’s hand. “We both do.”


Laura nodded at me, tears in her eyes. “You could have kept silent about your relationship with Katy, Richard. You could have continued to deceive us. We may have suspected, but we would never have known if you hadn’t been honest. We both saw how deeply you cared for Penny. We know how kind you were to Jenna. That is the Richard we want in our company. The one who wants to grow with it—be part of it.” She smiled. “Be part of our family. Because that is the way we think of the two of you.”


Katy made an odd noise in the back of her throat. Angling, I saw the tears slidingdown her face and the way her body shook, trying to keep her reaction in check. I slid closer, drawing her head to my shoulder. “Shh, sweetheart, it’s okay.”


I turned back to Graham. “You believe me? After everything, all the lies, you believe me?” I asked, dumbfounded.


“We do, because of that.” Graham indicated the way I was holding Katy. “You can’t fake that, Richard. We can feel the love you have for your wife.”


“Give him a pen!” Katy burst out. “He’ll sign! We want to stay—we both want to stay!”


Graham and Laura both grinned at her words and I had to bite my lip to stop my laughter. She would make a lousy poker player, but she was right. We did want to stay.


Keeping my arm around her, I extended my hand. “I would be honored to work for you, Graham. I won’t let you down again. I promise, I will make you proud.”


He took my hand, shaking it firmly. “You already have.”


I had to look away to make sure Katy was okay. It had nothing to do with the way my vision blurred or the sting of tears behind my eyes.


Nothing at all.

CHAPTER 33
RICHARD


I CARRIED THE TRAY TO the kitchen, leaving Laura and Katy talking. Graham followed me, carrying the box and waited so we could go into the den and talk more. He glanced at the papers on the counter, picking up the job listing for Calgary.


“Really, Richard?” He smirked. “You would have died of boredom there.”


“I couldn’t take Katy to Toronto. She’d be miserable.”


He studied me for a moment, a smile crossing his face. “How you’ve changed.”


“Grown up, you mean.”


He nodded, clapping me on the shoulder. “It’s good to see.”


I glanced over his shoulder to where Katy was standing, hugging Laura. “It feels good,” I admitted. “I never thought it was something I would experience.”


“The right person can open our eyes to many things, Richard.”


He was right.


He held out my new contract. “Let’s go sign some papers.”


“Why did you bring my things if you planned on rehiring me?”


A strange look crossed his face, and he flipped open the lid. “The box is empty, Richard.”


I gaped at him. “What? Why then?”


“The same reason we showed up unannounced. I wanted to see how you would act if you thought it was over. I wanted to see your real, gut reaction. Not one you had planned in advance.”


“And?”


“You looked shattered.”


“I was. I wanted to keep working for you.When I saw the box, I knew I’d bleeped it beyond repair. I wasn’t surprised, but it hit me right then, how much I wanted it. I knew there was nothing I could do to fix it. I had done it to myself after all.”


“Your reaction told me everything I needed to know. You were upset, yet you immediately reached out to comfort Katy. I knew you had really changed.” He grinned. “Sorry for the subterfuge.”


I stuck out my hand, which he took, shaking it hard. “I understand.”


He flipped the lid shut. “Use it and bring a few more things into the office. Make it yours, Richard.”


“Does anyone know?”


“Outside the family, no. The staff thinks you’ve been off with Katy. You come in on Monday and start again. No one else is the wiser.”


“Thank you. I won’t let you down this time. “I know,” he said and nodded emphatically. “I know.”





A short while later, Graham shook my hand goodbye. “I’ll see you Monday.”


Laura gave Katy one last hug, then turned to me. “We expect great things of you, Richard.”


“I’ll deliver.”


She patted my cheek. “I know you will.”


“I have a lot to make up for, and I’ll do my best.”


“We’re starting fresh. You come in on Monday with a clean slate with Graham and me.” She smiled ruefully. “You can work through your relationships with Adam, Jenna, and Adrian on your own. They had equal say in keeping you on, and they all were for it.” She arched an eyebrow at me knowingly. “Although, I think one of my children may have more to say on the subject than the other.”


I snickered. “Of that I have no doubt, and I’ll take whatever anger Jenna wants to direct my way. I’ll make sure to talk to all of them in private next week.”


“Welcome back on board, Richard.”


“Thank you.”


I walked them to the elevator, returning a few moments later. Katy wasn’t inside the door, or in the living room. I hurried up the stairs, surprised when I found her sitting on the chaise in her old room.


“Sweetheart?”


She looked up, a somber look on her face.


“What is it? Why are you in here?”


She shrugged. “I was thinking.”


I sat down in front of her, cupping her face. “About?” “How nervous and scared I was the first night I spent here.”


“About being here—with me?”


“That and the future. In one move, you had changed my entire life. I wasn’t in that horrid little apartment, I was leaving my job, and I had no idea how we were going to pull off such an elaborate charade. All I could think was how bad it was going to fail, and I didn’t know how I was going to pick up the pieces when it did.” She paused, her finger tracing the pattern on the cushion. “My thoughts were chaotic and I was so uncertain.”


“I wasn’t any help either, was I?”


She tilted her head, studying me. “No, actually, your calmness, the way you took control of everything was a help. You were so certain, so intent on your goal; I had only to follow your lead.”


“Would it help to know I was in awe of you even then, Katy? You showed me so much bravery.” I smirked as I remembered our earlier conversations. “The first time you told me to go Bleep myself—I saw a spark you kept hidden. You stopped being the doormat I mistakenly thought you were and became a force.” I pushed her hair away from her shoulder, caressing the silky strands. “You became my force. My light.”


“You became my everything,” she whispered.


I bent low, brushing my mouth over hers. “How far we’ve come.”


“Today was a good day.”


“It was. I’ve signed a new contract; I get to go back to work on Monday to a place where I really want to be. We can stay in Victoria, and the best part of all, is that I have you. We can make a life together.”


“I think I want to go back to work.”


I was somewhat surprised. “Why? You don’t have to.”“I know, but what am I going to do all day, Richard? Wander around an empty condo? Paint and repaint rooms? I want to be useful.” She sighed. “I don’t have Penny to fill my days anymore.”


The sadness of her words made my heart tighten.


“What about some volunteer work besides the shelter? You know so many of the residents at Golden Oaks—maybe you could spend some time there. I’m sure they’d appreciate the help.”


“I thought of that.”


I shifted forward, pulling her close. “Katy, I want you to do whatever you want to do. Volunteer, work, whatever makes you happy. But, listen to me, sweetheart. The past few months have been one thing after another for you. Everything you said earlier about how I changed your life is true.” I stroked the softness of her cheek with my knuckles. “And although it’s turned outwell, I know how stressful it all was on you. Everything changed in your life, and you lost Penny. I know, at times, it must overwhelm you, so I’m going to ask you to think about it. Don’t rush into anything. Please.”


Her eyes were fathomless as our gazes locked. I didn’t know how to express how important this was to me.


“I want . . .” I swallowed and breathed deep. “For the first time in my life, I want to take care of someone. Let me do that. I’ll support you in whatever you decide, but let me look after you for a little while. I need to make sure you’re okay.”


“I’m fine,” she insisted.


“Please,” I repeated. “Just a little time. I want you to relax. Decorate our room. Read. Sleep. Make me some of your incredible dinners. Bake me cookies.” I pressed her hand to my chest. “Look after me. I need you, sweetheart. I need to know you need me, too.”


She cupped my face, her thumbs rubbing small circles on my cheeks. “I do need you, Richard.”


“For me,” I pleaded, leaning my forehead to hers. “All I’m asking for is a little time.”


“All right.”


“Thank you.”


She met my lips with hers, and I captured them hard. I slid my arm under her legs and lifted us from the chaise. Striding from the room, I carried her to our bed. I laid her on the mattress, smiling down at her stretched out for me.


“I think we were interrupted earlier, and someone promised me a rain check. I’m collecting now.”


She tugged me back to her mouth. “Good.”


I brushed her lips with mine, already filled with desire. It was a mystery to me how I had denied my attraction to her for so long. All I needed from her was a shy glance or one of her teasing smiles, and I wanted her. Everything about her was alluring and beautiful. The way she supported—loved me—was the strongest aphrodisiac I had ever known.


My eyes fluttered open, meeting her vivid, blue gaze. In an instant, the rampant desire dimmed into a simmering pool of emotion. Everything that occurred today—every good thing in my life—was because of her.


My Katy.


The love and ache I would only ever have for her, consumed my body. Hovering over her, I dropped my mouth back to hers, my kiss tender and filled with the depth of my affection. She wrapped her arms around my neck, her fingers sliding up my head in a caress so light, I shivered. Her touch conveyed so much tenderness. Her love saturated into my skin every time we were together, grounding me, bringing me focus when I needed it the most. I soaked up her essence, her soul becoming one with mine.


I pulled off our clothes with gentle hands, my mouth rarely leaving her body. I stroked her warm skin, adoring every curve and imperfection with my touch. I smiled as she became impatient, pulling me down with arms that clutched me tight, her voice pleading for more. Sliding into her welcoming body, I stilled, reveling at the utter perfection of being joined with her in the most intimate of ways.


I had planned to Bleep her—hard. Tease her until she begged for release, but it all changed in one second. All I wanted now was to make love to her, claim her, leave her sated, content and secure in the knowledge she was mine.


And equally secure in the fact I belonged to her completely.


I began to move—long, slow strokes. I worshipped her with my hands and mouth, leaving no inch untouched, praising her the whole time. “Your skin, baby, I love how it tastes.”


She wound her fingers in my hair, tugging at the short strands, moaning my name.


I thrust faster, needing more. “My cock feels so good buried inside you.”


She wrapped her legs tighter, holding me close, as she clutched my shoulders, her blunt nails burrowing into my skin.


My movements became frantic as my orgasm began to gather strength, overtaking my being. “Mine, Katy. You’re mine.”


She shattered, her muscles clenched, crying out in her release. Burying my face into the fragrant skin of her neck, I let the waves of pleasure roll over me, intense and deep, my mind blank as I drifted, my body humming in contentment.


Lifting my head, I met Katy’s tender, sleepy gaze. I captured her lips, nuzzling the softness.


“Love you,” I breathed out.


Her smile was sweet. “I know.”

Monday, I was nervous when I walked through the door of The Gavin Group. I wasn’t surprised to find Graham waiting for me. He shook my hand, inviting me to sit down with him in his office, and he went over everything that had occurred while I was gone. He piqued my interest with a new campaign and we were deep in conversation about it when Adam, Jenna, and Adrian walked in. I stood up, extending my hand. Both Adam and Adrian shook it, however, Jenna stood back, gazing at me coolly. Understanding her anger, I nodded and sat back down. She was slow to join in the discussion, but soon was arguing with me as she always did over concepts and ideas. I was grateful for the normalcy of the moment, knowing we’d be having a far more personal discussion later.


I was right.


I was in my office, going through messages, catching up on emails and the files Amy had left for me, when Jenna walked in, shutting the door.


She stood in front of my desk hand on her hip, glaring at me.


“Just say it,” I encouraged her, even though I knew she wanted to scowl at me a while longer.


“You lied to me, you bastard. To all of us.”


“Yes, I did.” “Katy lied to me.”


I was out of my chair instantly, rounding my desk. “She didn’t want to, Jenna. She hated lying to you—to all of you. This was all me. My fault.”


“I trusted her. I thought she was my friend.”


“She is—at least she wants to be. She misses talking to you.”


Her eyes misted over. “I miss her.”


I leaned back against my desk. “I did this for selfish reasons. She did this to ensure Penny was safe and looked after. If you want to be mad, be mad at me. Forgive her, though.” I grasped the back of my neck. “She’s lost enough already. Don’t take away your friendship.”


She bit her lip, tilting her head, studying me. “That was spoken like a man who is in love with his wife.”


“I do love her. I don’t deserve her, but I love her.” Dropping my arms to my side, I drummed my fingers on the hard wooden surface. “I’m not a man prone to gestures or romance, but I’m trying. For her. I want to be the husband she deserves—the man she’s placed her trust in.”


She kept staring at me.


“Listen, Jenna. I know you want to yell and berate me. That’s fine. I’ll take it. I deserve it. I know I need to earn your trust, and I will. Somehow, I will. Just don’t”—I waved my hand, not sure how to ask—“just don’t punish Katy.”


She tapped her foot. “I like the idea about the cruise ship you had earlier.”


I blinked in confusion over the fast change of subject.


“Ah, good.”


“Maybe we can discuss it more this afternoon.”


“Sure.” She turned on her heel, pausing at the door. “When I’m ready to talk about the rest, I’ll let you know.”


“All right.”


“Until then, I’m glad you’re back.” She pursed her lips, her hand back on her hip. “I’ve missed your surly ass around here.”


I couldn’t help my laughter. “Thanks. I’ve missed our chats.” I winked since usually she was the one chatting and I was the one listening.


“Don’t let it go to your head.” She huffed. “We aren’t friends again.”


“Of course.”


“Not yet, anyway,” she added and left.


I sat back down at my desk.


It was a start. At least she was speaking to me. A little. By Thursday, I felt like I got my groove back. The days were filled with meetings, strategy sessions, and a lot of work. It was much like my time before, although now, I had somewhere I wanted to be at day’s end.


Home with Katy.


I loved arriving home, knowing she would be there. I enjoyed our nights together, sitting, talking, and sharing our day. I craved the feel of her mouth beneath mine, and the way our bodies moved when we came together at the end of the evening—or earlier, as the mood dictated. We used various surfaces in the condo—the kitchen counter, the sofa, even the wall inside the door. My desk in the den was still one of my favorite places to take Katy. Dinner was often an afterthought—I couldn’t get enough of my wife.Tonight, I stopped and bought flowers for no reason except I wanted to show her I loved her. It was still an odd sensation for me to want to express an unfamiliar emotion like love, but I kept trying. I found Adrian a good sounding board for advice at times.


Entering the condo, I heard voices. I stepped into the main room, stopping when I saw Jenna sitting with Katy at the high counter separating the kitchen. An empty bottle of wine was between them, their glasses half-full. Jenna had left the office around two, and I suspected she’d been here since leaving. I bit back my grin as I strode across the room, handing Katy her flowers, kissing her hard. She beamed, eyes wide with happiness. I knew what it meant, Jenna being here. The silence from her had weighed heavy on Katy’s heart, and it frustrated me I could do nothing to make it better. It was something they had to deal with between them—and the ball was squarely in Jenna’s court.


“Shall I order some Chinese for dinner?” I asked, bending low, stroking her pink cheek. She always flushed when drinking. I liked kissing her skin when it was warm. So, I did—I trailed my lips over her cheek to the edge of her mouth, pressing against her full lips.


“Yes, please. And thank you for the flowers.”


I placed another kiss to her tempting mouth and stood up.


“Two spring rolls”—I looked at Jenna—“or three?”


“Four,” Jenna replied. “Adrian will be here in a while. I’m sure he’ll be hungry, too.”


“I’ll get another bottle of wine.”


Jenna shrugged. “Or two.”


Chuckling, I squeezed her shoulders as I went past. “Good to see you, Jenna.” She dismissed me with a wave of her hand. “Whatever.”


I caught her sly wink to Katy, however.


They started chatting again. I stopped in the hallway listening. Katy’s laughter was low and happy. Jenna’s voice was its usual excited tone as she told Katy about a new art exhibit we all had to attend together. I drew in a surprisingly shaky breath and smiled. My wife had her friend back.


Katy was slowly picking up the pieces of her life, which meant mine was aligning with hers. We were creating a new life.


Together.

CHAPTER 34
RICHARD


JENNA BENT FORWARD, TAPPING A mock-up. “I like this one.”


I shook my head. “No, it’s flat.” I shifted through a pile of heavy stock, grabbing one near the bottom. “This one gets your attention.”


“It’s too in your face.”


“It needs to be in your face, Jenna. We’re selling fun here. It has to grab you.”


She pursed her lips, and I took the chance to take a sip of my coffee. I’d been “back” for almost three months. My relationship with all the Gavins was on solid footing, both professionally and personally. My career had never been as fulfilling as it was now.


My life with my wife was amazing. Katy brought a peace to my world I never realized I was missing or needed. She was my nucleus, and everything I did revolved around her in some way. She spent her time volunteering, and two days a week, she worked at The Gavin Group—but not for me. She assisted Laura, and the two of them made a great team. It was a win-win situation for me since I could see her in the office and still have her at home.


Jenna pushed away the mock-up with an angry snort. “I still hate it when you’re right.”


I chuckled at her indignation. Before I could speak, her phone rang. She answered, another low groan made me grin at her level of frustration.


“Fine. No, I’ll make other arrangements.” She hung up, tossing her cell phone on the table.


“Problem?”


“My car is in the shop. The part is back-ordered and won’t be here until tomorrow. Adrian is away and I need a lift home. I have to see if I can catch Dad.”


“He left for a meeting right after lunch. He said something about heading home after he was done.”


“Shit.”


“I’ll run you home.”


“You sure?”


“Yep. I can swing by and pick you up tomorrow, too.”


“Dad will drive me in. You don’t have plans with Katy tonight?”


“No. In fact, she has her computer course tonight, so I’m free as a bird.”


“Great. Thanks.”


“Sure. Now, let’s finish this, then I’ll take you.”The drive was pleasant and quick. Having been there many times, I didn’t need directions. Jenna, as usual, found lots to chat about, filling the time in the car with stories of looking for a new sofa.


She and Adrian lived on the edge of town in a new subdivision. It was close to the water, the homes large and set well apart. I liked the quiet, affluent look to the area.


After dropping Jenna off, I took a drive around the surrounding streets, admiring the houses and the peacefulness of the neighborhood. I slowed down, pulling to the curb in front of a house that caught my eye. The deep gray of the brick and the vivid blue trim stuck out in the area of more subdued colors. Two-storied with a huge wrap-around porch and large windows, it looked homey. What caught my eye, though, was the man pounding the For Sale sign into the ground. There was also a cylinder attached with a place to keep information sheets about the house. Without thinking, I was out of my car, walking toward him. He grinned at me when I asked for a copy.


“Those are still in the house. I need to grab them,” he replied in answer to my query. “The owners aren’t home, but I’m sure they wouldn’t mind. Did you want a quick look?”


I looked back at the house, not at all certain why I was interested. Katy and I had never broached the subject of a house, or moving.


Except, I liked it.


“Yes, I would.”


An hour later, I was back in my car, the information sheet clutched in my hand, another appointment booked for the morning. I wanted Katy to see this place.She looked over the sheet, confused. “A house? You want a house?”


I tapped the paper. “I want this house.”


“Why? You don’t like the condo anymore?”


I had been thinking about it all evening, while I waited for her to get home. “It’s fine. I’ve always liked it. I was thinking, though, it’s not a good place in which”—I nervously scratched the back of my neck—“to bring up children.”


Her eyes widened.


“They need a yard to play in, yes? A place to run?”


She grinned, patting my hand. “Well, they aren’t dogs, but yes, a yard for children is a good thing.” She ran her tongue over her bottom lip, a mischievous smile curlingher mouth. “Are you . . . are you pregnant, Richard?”


“No,” I scoffed. “I was thinking one day, you would be.”


She laughed, then turned serious. “One day in the near future?”


I inhaled a calming breath before replying. “If you wanted to be.”


“Richard,” she breathed out. “Are you sure?”


“I’m not saying tomorrow, or even next month. Eventually, yes, I want a family with you, Katy. However, I don’t want to bring them up in a high rise. I used to wish for a yard instead of only being allowed to play at the park for a set amount of time. I want that for my children.” I paused, clearing my throat. “Our children.”


“Then I would love to go see this house with you.”


“It’s close to Jenna,” I added.“Is that a plus for you or a drawback?”


I smirked. “Depends on the day.”


“You really liked this place?”


I nodded. “It’s only two years old—the owner built it himself, so it’s solid. His wife’s been transferred which is why it’s up for sale. It’s open and light. Four good-sized bedrooms and a great office for me. It’s got a well-equipped kitchen I think you’ll love.”


“Sounds great.”


“The backyard is huge. Plenty of space for a pool, which I’ve always wanted. We’d have to fence it off, of course, but it’s doable.”


“It sounds as though you’re ready to move in.”


I wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close. “As long as you like it, I am. If you’re happier here for the time being, then this is where we’ll stay. If youwant to look at other places, that’s fine, too.” I looked down at the picture. “There was something about this place I liked.”


“I can’t wait to see it myself.”





Katy loved it even more than I did. She went from room to room, opening closets and looking at fixtures. In the master bedroom, she gazed in silence at the view from the private balcony. We were close enough you could see the ocean. To the left and right of us, tall, thick trees surrounded the property. It was spectacular.


“You like it?”


“It’s amazing,” she murmured. “It’s so peaceful.”


I pointed to the break in the trees in the middle of the yard. “There’s a path that leads right to the edge of the property. It’s all open at the end. You can see the ocean for miles. It’s like at your cottage. Your own little piece of paradise.”


“Oh, Richard.”


“I want to give you that.”


She turned in my arms, her eyes luminous. Cupping her face, I drew her into me, kissing her full mouth.


“Let’s go see some more, okay?”


“Okay.”


The en suite was luxurious. The deep corner tub made me think of relaxing in the warm water with a glass of wine, and my wife nestled in my arms.


I drew her into my embrace, resting my chin on her shoulder. “I want you in that tub, Katy,” I whispered, dragging my lips up her neck to her ear and nibbling on the lobe. “I want to make a huge puddle on the floor and hear the way my name echoes off these walls as you scream it.” She shivered, and I placed another kiss on her neck. I stepped back with a grin, holding out my hand. “Shall we keep looking?”


She narrowed her eyes at me, making me chuckle. I loved making her flustered.


The kitchen got the biggest response. I crossed my ankles, relaxing against the counter, watching her as she walked around. I always loved observing her reactions. She traced her hand over the richness of the wood cupboards, the cold of the quartz countertop and the sleek appliances.


“I could cook so many things here!” she exclaimed as she peeked in the double ovens, and sighed over the huge sub-zero refrigerator. “I’m not sure I’d ever leave this room!”


Meeting her eyes, I knew we’d found the next step in our journey together. I wanted to do this for her—for us. I wanted to give this to her. A home of her own, where she would feel safe. A place we could create memories that belonged to us and build a life.


I raised my eyebrows in a silent question. There was no hesitation in her nod. I knew we could look at other places; in fact, we probably should, but this one felt right. It felt like us.


Turning, I smirked at the agent, who was watching us with eager eyes.


“We’d like to make an offer.”

I was certain my ears were going to burst when we shared our news with the Gavins a few days later. We invited them all for dinner and, after we ate, told them we purchased a house, and we would be living only a few blocks away from Jenna. “The gray one?” She squealed. “With the bright blue trim? I love that house!” She threw her arms around Katy. “We’re going to be neighbors!”


Katy beamed, her intense blue gaze finding mine. She had been smiling all day—joyful and laughing. Her eyes were peaceful, her happiness evident. I felt a sense of pride that was different from the kind I was used to experiencing. This had nothing to do with a job well-done, or praise for a campaign I had put hours into. This was personal pride based on the fact I had made another human being happy. A human being I loved more than I thought was possible.


I had done that.


Graham caught my eye, tilted his head toward Katy, and raised his glass in a silent toast.


I lifted mine, accepting his unspoken approval, knowing that for the first time, ever, I had earned it.

CHAPTER 35
RICHARD


THE FAMILIAR ACHE FORMED BY degrees in my head, my eyes became heavy, my shoulders and neck sore. I stared out the window at the gathering storm, wondering if I would make it home before it and the massive headache hit.


The three raps that Amy always used sounded like gunshots to my aching head. I slouched back against the cool leather of my chair, shutting my eyes.


“Come,” I called as loudly as I dared.


“Do you need anything, Richard?”


I didn’t bother to lift my head. “Can you cancel Board Tech?”


“I already did.”


“Great. You might as well take off the rest of the afternoon, Amy. I’m going to be useless.”


“Can I do anything else?”


I sighed, keeping my eyes closed. “If it wouldn’t offend you, a cup of coffee and a couple of pain relievers would be appreciated. If you can get my wife on the phone, it would be great.”


Her chuckle was low. “I think I can handle it, Richard.”


“Thank you.”


She left, and I rubbed my temples. I knew when I spoke with Katy, she would tell me to leave my car and grab a cab home. I also knew, when I got there, she would have cold compresses, much stronger pain pills, and her soothing touch to make the headache ease. I only had to get to her. The coffee and Tylenol Amy brought me would help until then.


I heard footsteps, felt pills pressed into my hand, and the smell of coffee hit mynose.


It wasn’t Amy’s voice that met my ears, however. “Drink.”


I swallowed the pills gratefully and reached out blindly for my wife’s hand.


“What are you doing here? You aren’t scheduled to be in today.”


“Amy called and said you were off this morning. She thought you had one of your headaches coming on, so I came to take you home. I intercepted her on her way back from the lounge.”


With a groan, I bent forward, burying my head into Katy’s stomach. The icy temperature of the compress felt good as she draped it across my neck and ran her fingers through my hair.


“We’ll give the pills a bit to kick in, then I’ll take you home.”


“Okay.”


“You should have called earlier,” she scolded gently. “You know how these low-pressure storms affect you.”


“I had work to do,” I protested, tightening my arms around her waist, wanting her closer.


“And how much did you accomplish?”


“Not a lot.”


“Good plan, then,” she teased.


“Go Bleep yourself, VanRyan,” I muttered, using her favorite phrase.


She shook with suppressed laughter, never stopping her tender caresses.


“Thank you for coming to get me.”


I felt the press of her lips to the back of my head. “You’re welcome.”


“Our boy unwell, Katy?” Graham’s voice was low in the hush of the office.


“Bad headache.”


“I wondered. He wasn’t himself in the meeting this morning.” “Everyone knows me so well,” I snipped, not lifting my head. “Can’t a guy have a headache without everyone noticing around here?”


They both ignored me, as if I hadn’t spoken.


“You’re taking him home?”


“As soon as he feels up to it.”


I waved my hand. “He’s right here.”


Katy patted my head. “He’s always grumpy when he isn’t well.”


“I’ve noticed.”


Laura’s voice suddenly became part of the discussion. “Oh no, a headache? Poor Richard!”


I groaned. This was getting out of hand.


“I’m fine,” I mumbled.


“He’s grumpy,” Graham stated. “Rather argumentative.”


“He always is when the headaches hit him,” Laura mused. “Good thing you’re here, Katy.”


“Do you need any help?” Jenna asked, the click of her heels announcing her arrival. “Maybe we could carry him to the car or something?”


I was done. Nobody was carrying me anywhere. They all needed to back off.


I lifted my head slowly, peeling open my eyes, fully intent on telling them all to leave. I met Katy’s concerned gaze. She smiled, cupping my cheek, arching her eyebrow. I shifted my gaze to the people behind her, and nothing but worried and caring expressions met my stare. Graham leaned against the wall, looking amused, knowing how I hated being fussed over. All the anger drained away when I realized the people surrounding me were there for one reason only: they cared.


“I don’t need to be carried anywhere,” I grumped, dropping my head back to Katy’s warmth. “Katy and I can manage fine.”


“Make sure you wait long enough, so you don’t blow chunks in her car,” Jenna advised.


Her frankness made me chuckle.


“Good point.”


“Call if you need anything, Katy.”


“I will. Thank you, Graham.”


“I’ll assume you aren’t coming for yoga tonight,” Jenna mused.


“I’ll let you know.”


There was shuffling of feet and the quiet closing of my door.


“Are they gone?”


Katy lifted my chin, stroking my hair back from my forehead. “Yes.” Bending low, she pressed a kiss to my skin. “They worry, my darling, that’s all.”


I smiled at her endearment. “I know. I’m still getting used to it.” “You’re getting better. You didn’t even curse at them.”


I snickered. “That’s because you were here.”


This time it was her turn to snicker.


“You can go to yoga. I’ll probably sleep.”


“I’ll decide later. Do you think you’re up to the ride home?”


I cracked an eye open and nodded. “The pills are working.”


“Okay, let’s get you home.”


I stood up, not surprised to see her already holding my briefcase. She was always a step ahead of me.


We made our way to the elevator, the hall deserted. I kept my arm around her, not only for the support she provided, but because I liked her close. In the car, I leaned my head back, shutting my eyes again, letting the cool seep back into my skin from the compress she tucked around my neck.


I slipped my hand over hers. “Thank you.”


Her lips brushed mine. “Always.”

I drew in a deep, bracing lungful of air. I loved living this close to the water. Katy had gone to yoga, and after I woke up, I came outside, grateful the storm had passed, taking with it the worst of my headache. I glanced around the backyard, thinking of the changes that had occurred in the months since we moved in.


A pool had been the first order of business, and it now sat to the one side, glistening and serene in the early evening light. Beside it was the pool house—Katy’s favorite part of the backyard. It was the cottage she shared with Penny on their brief holidays; bright blue, with white shutters, her memories still intact. I had arranged with Bill to purchase it and have it transported here for her. Inside, it was remodeled and useful, but still held the same rustic appeal. Her reaction to seeing it had been emotional and deep.


“Come with me, Katy.” I pulled at her hand, dragging her through the house. “I have something to show you.”


She grinned. “Is the pool done already?”


“Almost.”


I led her onto the deck, suddenly nervous. I had never done anything so sentimental in my life. I threw out my arm. “I got you a pool house.”


She froze, staring at the hut I had bought, refurbished, and had installed on a cement foundation by the pool. The porch was rebuilt, the paint fresh to match the shutters of the house, but it was her cottage.


“Richard!” She gasped. “What . . . how?” “It was important to you. I wanted you to have it.”


She flung her arms around my neck, her tears hot and wet on my neck.


“Tell me these are good tears,” I demanded quietly. I still hated when she cried. I never knew what to do when she did, or how to make things better.


“The best kind.” She sniffed.


“I still don’t like them. Stop, please.”


“Thank you, Richard. I can’t even tell you what this means to me.” She gazed up at me, the love blazing from her eyes. “I love you.”


I blinked at the sting behind my eyes.


“I love you.”


Just the thought of her reaction still made me smile and brought warmth to my chest. The one only she could create.


The door opened behind me, and Katy’s scent enveloped me as she came close, pressing a kiss to my head.“Feeling better?”


“Much. Especially now you’re home.”


“Good.”


“How was yoga? Take anyone out tonight?”


She laughed. “No, people know to stay clear of me now. I always thought yoga would help with my balance, but I seem resistant to that benefit.”


I cast my eye over her as she moved in front of me. Her body was perfect: tight and toned. “I dunno, sweetheart. I sort of like the benefits.” I patted my knee. “You could come over here and I can show you how much I like them, if you want.”


She slid on, draping her arms around my neck. “You’ve been showing me how much you like the benefits a lot lately.”


I skimmed my hand down her leg, curling it around her calf. “Just showing my appreciation.” She played with the ends of my hair, a nervous look crossing her face. I frowned. It reminded me too much of how she looked when we started.


“What’s wrong?”


“Nothing’s wrong, but I have something to tell you. I’m not sure how you’re going to react.”


“Just tell me.”


She drew a deep breath. “I’m pregnant, Richard.”


The air stilled around me. The breath caught in my throat, constricting and thick. Her words echoed in my head.


We’d had the discussions, agreed she should stop taking the pill, and I would wear condoms, then when we were ready, start a family.


“Uh . . .” Were we ready? “When?” I breathed out.


She cupped my face. “It’s early. Really early. I think after the award dinner when we couldn’t wait, and we celebrated in the car? We didn’t use protection, my darling. It was only one time, but that’s all it takes.”


I managed to nod, remembering that night. My campaign for the Kenner Footwear company had won the highest award for the year. Graham had been thrilled and so proud—and so had I. I had celebrated hard with my wife.


Apparently too hard.


“Richard,” she whispered. “Talk to me.”


I waited for the panic. The anger. Except, when I gazed into the eyes of my wife, there was only one emotion I felt . . .


Elation.


I spread my hand over her still-flat stomach and grinned.


“I knocked you up.”


“You did.”


“Just the one time, eh? My boys are determined.”


She arched her eyebrow.


“I’m going to be a father.”


“You’re going to be a dad. You’re going to be a great dad.”


I mulled over those words in my head. Not a father—a dad. I wouldn’t be an absent figure from my child’s life. I refused to allow that to happen.


“With you helping me, I will be.”


“I won’t let you fail.”


“I know.” Wrapping my hand around her neck, I drew her face to mine, kissing her reverently. “Are you all right?”


She nodded. “I’m fine. I see the doctor again in a few weeks.”


“I’m coming with you.”


“Okay.”


“Maybe no more yoga. You may be even more off balance than usual.” She rolled her eyes, pushing on my shoulder. “Go Bleep yourself, VanRyan.”


I burst out laughing, pulling her close. That was my wife.


“I love you, my Katy,” I murmured.


“I love you, too.”


She curled up, and I held her close, returning my hand to her stomach. Looking down, I realized I now held my entire family within my embrace.


Everything, every moment of my life, had brought me to this point. The past was behind me, the darkness banished because of the woman I was holding, and the gift she had bestowed upon me.


The future was bright, and because of her and this one moment in time, it was filled with promise and light.


It was, as Penny once said, one of the great moments in time.


In fact, it was the greatest moment of them all.
THE END

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To the writer God bless
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