nahzyla:


My state of mind is not the issue.

Your questionable opinion about putting spouse welfare before children is the issue.

Ok.

Put your children before your husband.

EOD.

Thank you.

bukatyne:


Who has higher chances of survival? Whose issue is urgent?

The husband and wife decide way forward depending on their peculiar situation.

Both situations are equally critical

bukatyne:


Ok.

Put your children before your husband.

EOD.

Thank you.

OK.

Put your husbands welfare before your little children.

EOD.

Thanks

nahzyla:



OK

So

Assuming there is just one plate of food left in a house with husband, wife and their one child.

So wifey should give the food to her husband and let her child starve because she puts her spouse first?

Where oneness is the bond that hold a couple both their individual and collective action(s) automatically become a collective decision.

It's so unfortunate that most of you believe in marriage but don't believe in its soul which is oneness.

nahzyla:

Of course, kids first. Then they get older and independent or married even then you can resume putting your spouse first.

What if he doesn't live long enough till they become independent, he remains an option and never gets the best of his wife because of kids and vice versa.
Madam my aunt retired from Total ng, she and hubby gave her children the best, made sacrifices...... today she can't walk well and the kids are doing very well to send her to India and the likes for a surgery but none has deemed it fit despite the abundance of resources. The house she stays in her husband's village wasn't renovated to befit her status. It's her and her husband now but her health has dwindled for him to get the best of her.
I'm beginning to think if a poll is carried out where people talk of their fulfilment in their marriages but anonymously, I'm not sure to read/hear good commentaries based on the me and my kids syndrome epidemic.

LordKO:


Where oneness is the bond that hold a couple both their individual and collective action(s) automatically become a collective decision.

It's so unfortunate that most of you believe in marriage but don't believe in its soul which is oneness.

@bold:

Words on marble.

A couple can look after their needs as husband and wife while simultaneously ensuring the kids' own are met. It shouldn't be an either-or situation.

LordKO:


Where oneness is the bond that hold a couple both their individual and collective action(s) automatically become a collective decision.

It's so unfortunate that most of you believe in marriage but don't believe in its soul which is oneness.

You and the other person seem not to understand my topic

Nobody said you should not be one with your spouse.

My topic said put your children's welfare first before each other.

'Welfare' here is the keyword.

Did you people even read the Opening post?

nahzyla:


You and the other person seem not to understand my topic

Nobody said you should not be one with your spouse.

My topic said put your children's welfare first before each other.

'Welfare' here is the keyword.

Did you people even read the Opening post?

Believe you me, I read and understand it well. So, you're the person who don't and won't understand our viewpoint because of the obvious reason.

When you and your husband understand what oneness is and achieve it, you'll automatically see your husband speaking through you both in his presence and absence and vice versa. Where there's oneness there's understanding and everything that represents good.

Madam, your partner before the kids please. If you love your son so well, you would want him to be with a woman that puts him first and above all.

I cannot believe there is still an ongoing argument regarding this obviously straightforward issue, who says anything about neglecting your spouse, who says anything about the absence of oneness, we are talking about priority and welfare of kids above the spouse, it can NEVER be balanced, no matter how you look at it, one will be higher than the other and in this case, it should be the KIDS, jeez.

Validation! Validation! Validation! When are you moving to the Federal Capital Territory?

Even before starting a business, one is required to have a PLAN; if a survey is done, how many families make out time to come up with a PLAN (education standard, welfare and all) for their Unborn Kid(s) before conception?

When some couples don't even have a preconception PLAN on how their parenting style will be, then it's no surprise this topic will be an issue.

In my Opinion from birth - 18yrs, or whenever they leave for higher institution, kids should have the utmost priority from both parent; its not subject to debate during the formative years (Discipline, Coaching and Guidance Stage) of a Child.

bukatyne:


Ok.

Put your children before your husband.

EOD.

Thank you.

Why did you even bother?

0neal:
Even before starting a business, one is required to have a PLAN; if a survey is done, how many families make out time to come up with a PLAN (education standard, welfare and all) for their Unborn Kid(s) before conception?

When some couples don't even have a preconception PLAN on how their parenting style will be, then it's no surprise this topic will be an issue.

In my Opinion from birth - 18yrs, or whenever they leave for higher institution, kids should have the utmost priority from both parent; its not subject to debate during the formative years (Discipline, Coaching and Guidance Stage) of a Child.

I can't even understand the ridiculous mindset of putting children wellbeing last after spouse.

Sad state of mind of many Nigerian parents.

Fountainofyouth:
I cannot believe there is still an ongoing argument regarding this obviously straightforward issue, who says anything about neglecting your spouse, who says anything about the absence of oneness, we are talking about priority and welfare of kids above the spouse, it can NEVER be balanced, no matter how you look at it, one will be higher than the other and in this case, it should be the KIDS, jeez.

Sure

nahzyla:


I can't even understand the ridiculous mindset of putting children wellbeing last after spouse.

Sad state of mind of many Nigerian parents.

The key is BALANCE...IMO "parenting course" should be made compulsory for couples intending to get married; it won't even be out of place if the court start asking for a documented "Family Plan" before legalizing marriages

Thanks for this thread, placing kids before spouse. We just got the recipe for a loveless marriage .

0neal:


The key is BALANCE...IMO "parenting course" should be made compulsory for couples intending to get married; it won't even be out of place if the court start asking for a documented "Family Plan" before legalizing marriages

True.
So many people having children these days without knowing a single thing about raising kids.

nahzyla:

Both situations are equally critical

In a critical situation, who would you put first? Your partner or your toddler?