This "spend everything now and forget about dawn" attitude is the reason why me and Michelin89 got divorced in the first place!

I think the issue of who earn more is not much of a big deal where there is understanding. I noticed that a large percentage of Nigeria Men do not have the confidence to marry richer women, Wealth is not bad hence and was not made for the men or the women alone. if a Man is rich it's normal but with a woman it becomes abnormal, this isn't suppose to be by my understanding. Money shouldn't been what gives a man confidence in his marriage, Naturally a Man should be a Man and be fair and firm in His decisions, reason with your woman and make life real fun. For the ladies I think we should not be controlled by wealth, it's cool but there is more to been happy than having riches.

I do not know what obtains in other societies but in Nigeria, a woman earning more than the husband is in for a stressful life. Our men are not trained for such a circumstance.

It is never understood in this country that when women earn big, they actually work for it like men do, they probably work in a very challenging and competitive environment where they exchange there time, mental/physical capacity,intelligence for the big renumeration that everyone is enjoying including the husband.

It is only behind a successful man that you have a woman (taking care of the other family issues, allowing the man to give his full attention to being succesful) but behind a successful woman there is nobody!.

When she cannot take it anymore and starts to complain, then she has become proud and the question people will ask her is if she wants to turn her husband to the wife because she earns more money?

A woman who earns more than her husband should be ready to be a superwoman and only God can help you with the load you will carry.

Men who are breadwinners, most times carry only the financial burden and they are allowed to remind you once in a while that they are not 'plucking the money from the tree' but the day you as the breadwineer/higher earner mistakenly grumble, you have started 'disrespecting' your husband.

Shinatu:

I do not know what obtains in other societies but in Nigeria, a woman earning more than the husband is in for a stressful life. Our men are not trained for such a circumstance.

It is never understood in this country that when women earn big, they actually work for it like men do, they probably work in a very challenging and competitive environment where they exchange there time, mental/physical capacity,intelligence for the big renumeration that everyone is enjoying including the husband.

It is only behind a successful man that you have a woman (taking care of the other family issues, allowing the man to give his full attention to being succesful) but behind a successful woman there is nobody!.

When she cannot take it anymore and starts to complain, then she has become proud and the question people will ask her is if she wants to turn her husband to the wife because she earns more money?

A woman who earns more than her husband should be ready to be a superwoman and only God can help you with the load you will carry.

Men who are breadwinners, most times carry only the financial burden and they are allowed to remind you once in a while that they are not 'plucking the money from the tree' but the day you as the breadwineer/higher earner mistakenly grumble, you have started 'disrespecting' your husband.

Thank you so much for this.

Most times, people say working women are proud when actually, it's their husbands who are not considerate!

buzugee:

sharrap dia. like you needed any motivation to marry a rich man

LOL, you are right, I've got all the motivation I need . . . . the fancy cars and luxury homes!

bawomolo:

abi o. like that's a shocker

see as she yab the contractor bobo with poverty mentality.

my uju wants a man with landed property, car and all the orishi rishi in life. potential no dey her dictionary o

See this one, so u r still beafing me. Sorry oh, I can't help that I'm attracted to money!

chaircover:

UJU!!!!!!!

Make den no use u do ritual o!

Start with a young not so rich guy but who has potential and you both grow together. Its' more fun that way

Thanks CC, I'll put that into consideration!

Shinatu:

I do not know what obtains in other societies but in Nigeria, a woman earning more than the husband is in for a stressful life. Our men are not trained  for such a circumstance.

It is never understood in this country that when women earn big, they actually work for it like men do, they probably work in a very challenging and competitive environment where they exchange there time, mental/physical capacity,intelligence for the big renumeration that everyone is enjoying including the husband.

It is only behind a successful man that you have a woman (taking care of the other family issues, allowing the man to give his full attention to being succesful) but behind a successful woman there is nobody!.

When she cannot take it anymore and starts to complain, then she has become proud and the question people will ask her is if she wants to turn her husband to the wife because she earns more money?

A woman who earns more than her husband should be ready to be a superwoman and only God can help you with the load you will carry.

Men who are breadwinners, most times carry only the financial burden and they are allowed to remind you once in a while that they are not 'plucking the money from the tree' but the day you as the breadwineer/higher earner mistakenly grumble, you have started 'disrespecting' your husband.

this is all bollocks. if i have seen it once i have seen it a gazillion times. even one of my friends was a victim of his wife earning more than him. women have this in-built mechanism in them that says that they have to be taken care of by men. their are the fairer and weaker sex and hence must be wined, dined, and taken care off. it is how women are hard-wired to think. so if anything deviates from this way of thinking, they are pissed off and get very angry and irritable. if she is the bread winner or earns more, she automatically looks at you with disgust and irritation. everything you do will be irritating to her. even how you eat, or how you walk, or how you talk. its a hardwired-inbuilt mechanism. they cannot help it. lose your $300,000 a year job and quickly watch how your once sweet and polite wife will develop anger management issues. it is what it is. only a few women are not hardwired like that. extremely few. maybe 1 in 5000. so fellas, if you happen to find that 1 in 5000 woman who loves you for just your personality, please keep her,  thats a keeper right there 

let me tell you the story of my friend. he was based in london with his wife. this was in 2002. young couple. anyway he got into IT. then got contracts that paid like 40 pounds per hour. his wife was so loving and sweet to him. they were the best couple ever. dude is not ugly either. he is extremely good looking and quite tall (i mentioned this to make a point). anyway so after his contract ran out in about 6 months, he couldnt get any more contracts. the IT market got saturated. so he was at home collecting unemployment benefits for like 3 years. his sweet wife turned into this evil sadistic woman. she will abuse him everyday and throw pots and pans at him. everything he did irritated her. anyway dude relocated to america after getting a job that pays 80,000 thousand a year. well what do you know ? his wife is so sweet and loving and doting to him again (never mind the fact that all his friends have told him to fashi the babe after what she did to him in london ). but, dude still loves the babe so they are still together. she is the sweetest wife now.

lololololololololol

little sweet wife, turns irritable and evil.

hahahahahahaha

lrlrlrlrlrlrlrl

hahahahahaha - ohhhh my side hurts.

buzugee:

let me tell you the story of my friend. he was based in london with his wife. this was in 2002. young couple. anyway he got into IT. then got contracts that paid like 40 pounds per hour. his wife was so loving and sweet to him. they were the best couple ever. dude is not ugly either. he is extremely good looking and quite tall (i mentioned this to make a point). anyway so after his contract ran out in about 6 months, he couldnt get any more contracts. the IT market got saturated. so he was at home collecting unemployment benefits for like 3 years. his sweet wife turned into this evil sadistic woman. she will abuse him everyday and throw pots and pans at him. everything he did irritated her. anyway dude relocated to america after getting a job that pays 80,000 thousand a year. well what do you know ? his wife is so sweet and loving and doting to him again (never mind the fact that all his friends have told him to fashi the babe after what she did to him in london ). but, dude still loves the babe so they are still together. she is the sweetest wife now.

And your point is? One woman's folly is every woman's

With mutual understanding and cooperation, this won't be a problem, 3rd parties won't even know that this is the case.

--

chaircover:

Actually your friend deserves to have the pressing iron thrown at him, not just pots and pans

How can an IT professional be out of work for 3 years in 2002 blaming a saturation in the industry & collecting owo baba?

2000 - 2008 were the best years to be in IT. If na now nko wey recession dey and IT contractors are sitting at home for 1 year? he will stay at home for 10 years?

A few men have said on here that they will do anything hopefully legal to put food on the table. Serious men dont sit at home collecting dole. They roll up their sleeves and get doing.

Yes! Tell them sister . . .

They always want to be pampered, even when they are being lazy.

Shy-One:

lololololololololol

little sweet wife, turns irritable and evil.

hahahahahahaha

lrlrlrlrlrlrlrl

hahahahahaha - ohhhh my side hurts.

aint dat something gurl ?

Ujujoan:

And your point is? One woman's folly is every woman's

my point is women think men are human ATM machines

.

chaircover:

Actually your friend deserves to have the pressing iron thrown at him, not just pots and pans     

How can an IT professional be out of work for 3 years in 2002 blaming a saturation in the industry & collecting owo baba?

2000 - 2008 were the best years to be in IT. If na now nko wey recession dey and IT contractors are sitting at home for 1 year? he will stay at home for 10 years?

A few men have said on here that they will do anything hopefully legal to put food on the table. Serious men dont sit at home collecting dole. They roll up their sleeves and get doing.

lol @ chaircover.  you know say IT get levels now. being an oracle database analyst is different from being a network administrator  . and the men who you are patting on the back who say they will do anything to put food on the table ? half of them are in jails in america and britain. tis better to collect giro than to sit in jail for tryna defraud natwest bank 

Ujujoan:

Yes! Tell them sister . . .

They always want to be pampered, even when they are being lazy.

see thats the problem with yall women. you think men are horses. when we want to catch our breath and relax, we are called lazy slavery is over. this is 2010. i aint got no massa no mo. no sirrrr. i is free. i hab gain my preedom to be a bum if i so chose

--

chaircover:

LOL Buz     

That's the whole point. Lets face it, many of these so called IT gurus read big big text books and pirated downloaded CBT's & crammed a whole lot of stuff to get their first break with a doctored CV so nothing stopped your friend from picking up & dusting his text books and retraining in another area in IT abi?

The next thing you are going to tell me is that most of the men in jail are there because they were striving to put food on their family's table. Free us o! I beg 

hehe you have so much knowledge about the exploits of IT boys in london. will i be wrong in saying you were part of that 'gold rush' era ? . some naijas even opened up IT school. i know one guy who opened up an oracle database teaching school in shoreditch. only problem was that only 1 percent of his students ever got jobs the guy couldnt teach to save his own life. he was too fast because he wanted to get people in and out so he can make more money

buzugee:

this is all bollocks. if i have seen it once i have seen it a gazillion times. even one of my friends was a victim of his wife earning more than him. women have this in-built mechanism in them that says that they have to be taken care of by men. their are the fairer and weaker sex and hence must be wined, dined, and taken care off. it is how women are hard-wired to think. so if anything deviates from this way of thinking, they are pissed off and get very angry and irritable. if she is the bread winner or earns more, she automatically looks at you with disgust and irritation. everything you do will be irritating to her. even how you eat, or how you walk, or how you talk. its a hardwired-inbuilt mechanism. they cannot help it. lose your $300,000 a year job and quickly watch how your once sweet and polite wife will develop anger management issues. it is what it is. only a few women are not hardwired like that. extremely few. maybe 1 in 5000. so fellas, if you happen to find that 1 in 5000 woman who loves you for just your personality, please keep her,  thats a keeper right there 

:@buzugee

I made the first statement in my post for a reason, the example you have given is outside the scope of my post.
Come to Nigeria and see women struggling to take care of their families and also struggling to make the broke husband look good so as not to be called a bad wife. A couple of people  have mentioned on this thread how they grew up in this country with thier mothers earning more and nobody ever knowing.

Please let me ask you a question, if as a husband your wife cannot perform the generally perceived 'wifey' roles for 3years, will you be able to be so niiiiiiiiiice as not to show any form of irritation?

Shinatu:


:@buzugee

I made the first statement in my post for a reason, the example you have given is outside the scope of my post.
Come to Nigeria and see women struggling to take care of their families and also struggling to make the broke husband look good so as not to be called a bad wife. A couple of people  have mentioned on this thread how they grew up in this country with thier mothers earning more and nobody ever knowing.

Please let me ask you a question, if as a husband your wife cannot perform the generally perceived 'wifey' roles for 3years, will you be able to be so niiiiiiiiiice as not to show any form of irritation?

yes, but those women in nigeria who are taking care of the family, do you know what is happening behind closed doors ?
and as per me, i will not marry a woman for wifely duties. i will marry a woman because i love her personality and her company. if she does her wifely duties or not is irrelevant to me. i can cook and clean. in fact, in most of my relationships we share the cooking and cleaning. its whoever feels like cooking or cleaning that day that will do it. no body is designated to cook or clean.

buzugee:

yes, but those women in nigeria who are taking care of the family, do you know what is happening behind closed doors ?
and as per me, i will not marry a woman for wifely duties. i will marry a woman because i love her personality and her company. if she does her wifely duties or not is irrelevant to me. i can cook and clean. in fact, in most of my relationships we share the cooking and cleaning. its whoever feels like cooking or cleaning that day that will do it. no body is designated to cook or clean.

Exactly!!. What do you expect to happen under closed doors when one person is combining the only one role she knows husbands to have with her own plenty roles?

so you see, you are out of the scope of my contribution, how many husbands in Nigeria do you think have the same expectations of a wife as you? To say the truth sha ,some men personally do not mind o , but the fear of what their friends/society/inlaws will say will not allow them lift a finger

Ok

@Uju,Belated buffday to you.

Thanks dear!

My dad set up my mum in her business and she makes more than he does from his paid job.

I recall those early days in Uni when I'd ask her for money and she'd be like "N10,000?. .where do you want me to get that kind of money from? If I spend all my profits on homekeeping and all of you and don't plough it back into the business, will I have a business to run? Please, go and ask your father cos I don't have that kind of money" AND trust me wey I don be bad boi tey tey, I'll retort and say "do you think I haven't asked daddy? I have and he said he's low on cash at the moment and that if I can wait till next week he'll give me the money but I can't cos I need the money latest by friday this week! You know I don't like coming to you for money unless as a last resort. . .cos everytime, I ask you for money, you'll start telling me long story of how you ordered some new supplies of bla bla bla and how you don't even have enough money to pay for the supply. . .complain!complain!complain. Yet na every weekend, I dey see u with new wire george, lace and English wax materials.  Daddy is not like that. . .if u ask him for money, even if it's his last kobo he'd give u. This your business sef, nor be popsie set am up for you? Nor be all the moni, N3M+ wey im suppose u start the building of im house im give u to set up your business? How many men can do such? Did you complain then when he gave u all his savings for your business?  AND Mumsie will be like ehen ehen, so becos your father set me up, I should run the business to the ground abi? After, some little (playful I like to call it) back and forth, she'd relent and give me a cheque/or the cash. Despite all these little spats with us (me and my elder bro) her kids, she knew her place and never disrespected my Dad. . .probably becos she was grateful for what he did for her.

I think my Dad and Mum had some kind of unwritten agreement. . .she maintained the home ie foodstuffs/feeding, clothing for the kids, miscellaneous expenses at home etc (which is a big deal for a family of 6) while Popsie was in charge of school fees and stuff like that. . .no small thing too considering all the kids were either in private prim/sec schools and in UNI.

Not a perfect model but this worked perfectly in my home and oh, mumsie's business is bigger now and she's still making more money than he does so I think basically it depends on the two individuals involved. I never marry but I must earn more than my wife o

^^^^ LOL

That's a nice approach . . . Sharing the responsibilities. I like that!

ifyalways:

@Uju,Belated buffday to you.

Ujujoan:

Thanks dear!

didnt hear about it. hope you've not finished the cake, pls send mine asap.

Anyway, happy belated birthday! I wish all your dreams come through and that this new year of your life will be better than all the former years.