Those asking why his father didn't notice these negative traits in the OP mother seem to be inexperienced in the behaviors of women.
If you like woo a woman for 10 to 100 years.Na when you marry am put am for house.Na only then you go begin see im real character.
I have no sympathy for men who suffer in this failed,archaic social construct called marriage

LordKO:
@OP

Your mother is a fully developed egoist with below average emotional quotient, who's unlucky financial-wise/career-wise - and your father doesn't have unlimited wealth, I didn't say he's not doing well or not giving his best financially and otherwise. Not that she could've been better if she's success in either or both the areas anyway, but it could have covered somethings.

Truth is that, it takes either voluntary slavery or outright servility to put up with any human being who's of your mother's ethical leanings, irrespective of her financial and career standing at any point in time - unless she's put in order from the inception, your father failed wittingly or unwittingly in doing this at the inception of their relationship. This should be a lesson to fake libertarians - libertarian doesn't mean absence of conscientiousness - and servile people.

And the reason she's not separated/divorced your father all this while is because your father has always been in a better financial standing than her, more so she knows that your father has always had genuine interest for her. It takes men of two distinct personalities to put up with her type for long without either killing each other, your father's type is one, but not the type to get the best out of her, and the altruistic and conscientious man (a real libertarian). The latter class would've made her a better woman character-wise by now and everyone in your family would've been living in mutual happiness all this while.

I can imagine the kind of emotional and mental havoc she's caused your father in particular and all of you in general, even though your father has adopted carefreeness towards her, as the connotation of your submission suggested, which is one method of handling people like her.

But for the sake of preserving togetherness of your family - unity and oneness aren't options - I would've tell you what your father should do if truly he wants to have his sanity back. . . . Somethings aren't meant to be said openly or in a situation like this.

For humanity sake, you all should take to carefreeness towards her but never mete out alienation on her or stop loving her. Your father in particular should continue to love her unconditionally, but he should forget any thought about staying in love with her, with this reality in place he'll gradually regain some of his lost sanity.

Dad has tried his best to ensure she changes... He has compromised so many times just to see her change... Whatsoever she feels that he is doing wrong he takes it from her as wrong.. Even though its baseless... And he has tried different methods.. But sir.. I feel she was sent to destroy everything....

She's a total nightmare

ImaIma1:


@ the bolded, in a lot of cases, otherwise is the case. That's why it's important to marry someone who shares the same thinking process and ideas with you. Not just to marry to have a woman in the house.

That is the mistake men make and probably the mistake his dad made

take this to the bank.
Women don't build with men!they only do so when they have to,not that they want to.
You can continue denying it but it's a fact.

Juliet11111:
YOU ARE MAD

I hope ure not like that though,because am coming soon

@op, i think you should commit her into prayers, since you can't change her physically then it's time to pray out that unruly character in her, it may take sometimes but i know it will turn out well at last

Iogobenz:
take this to the bank.
Women don't build with men!they only do so when they have to,not that they want to.
You can continue denying it but it's a fact.

The bank of Nairaland??

Please don't misinform people.

Put your hatred or bias for women aside and expand your knowledge about something before making a conclusion

deep

ImaIma1:


The bank of Nairaland??

Please don't misinform people.

Put your hatred or bias for women aside and expand your knowledge about something before making a conclusion

I don't have bias for women neither do I hate them.
Also,if you go through my posts,I hardly put mouth in things I don't know about.
You won't see me on BBN threads,football or tribalists threads,but this my friend,I do know what I am talking about.
Women don't WANT to build any empire with men,they do so only if they HAVE to.
I am not misinforming anyone,I am simply telling them the truth since as I've been out there for way too long.
Been with all classes of them,from different places and countries too before I was able to draw that conclusion

Davebrown13:
Myself and siblings grew up in an atmosphere whereby no day passed without quarrel in our house.. We thought it was our dad that caused it while we were little. To the extent that they started fighting, beating and cursing themselves.

It continued for 7years until my dad stopped beating my mum because he was already tired of the relationship. Until we attained an age whereby we began to know the cause of the beatings and quarrelling. It was my mum. Her mouth is that of razor, sometimes I wonder what made my dad still go ahead to marry her. Coz there's a saying character is like smoke it doesn't hide, he must have seen the signs but still went ahead to marry her.

She has a way of thinking that its so annoying, baseless and useless. Very provoking. She doesn't have friends coz she can't keep or maintain that relationship.

She the type that doesn't care if her family is disgraced by her actions, she's the type that can go at any length to destroy things until she destroys it her mind won't rest.

Sometimes I wish she never bore me. I have received countless beatings and curses from her because I couldn't bear the humiliation she has done on my dad and us as a family. She sees everyone that don't support her actions as enemies. I so much hate her.

She can't be told information on what my dad does if not its war that day. I and siblings keeps our mouth shut when it comes to the whereabouts of our dad. My dad tells us all his movement and I'm like this is what is supposed to do to his wife. But what can I say. I can't blame him. But he married the wrong person.

We either live in fear or in lies just to make peace rain. My dad makes sure he's extra careful that she doesn't know his movement. My dad has planned out everything for us to make progress and succeed in life but my mum destroys every attempt. She doesn't know how to manage funds, for 3 years my dad spent over 3million on a business for her. She can't account for the money neither can progress be seen in her business, she is the definition of mismanagement.

My question is this why is she like that, she does things that doesn't make us progress an inch, sometimes I wish she was dead so fast as she's a night mare in our lives. She herself is not enjoying situation.. How much does she have... You know the funny thing... She wants to have a life but she can't keep one.

And my thoughts have been when I get enough money I'm going to separate them. She doesn't respect my dads family but carries her own family up ..I mean her parents.. She curses my dad virtually every time and she's still the same person that will ask my dad to give her money and my dads provides her the money whenever she needs it... Once she gets it she rain curses on him.

It got to a time I decided not to marry not until I saw women with good characters. Whenever I come across a lady the first I look out for for the first 3months of knowing her are likely characters my mum possesses. The moment I discover such I move away.

My mum is a torn in my flesh. And I'm scared my sisters are having one or two traits of her even though they never support her actions and moves. I can't marry a woman like my mother. I can never even if its gonna make me wait I can't rush into marriage.

I have learnt enough from my parents marriage its a disaster. If not that men like my dad who are so sincere to the last. I'm sure he would have abandoned us if not for his love.. He is the kind of father u would ever wish for.. His everyday regret is marrying a woman that instead of building his dreams with him scattered it.

Guys watch ur lady especially u that want to get married. If u notice signs u don't like talk to her about it. If she's adamant.. Leave her or else u live a life of regret.

Women are dangerous, only few made me change my decision and notion about marriage.

I emphathize with you bro, I'm faced with a similar situation although to a somewhat milder degree, but I totally understand how you feel..
My best advice?...Just find a way to be away from that place most of the times, so you can find peace. in my case, I always made sure I stayed back in school even during holidays, understand that most people can never change, don't spend the most of your time, trying to find an explanation/solution to the situation, it's not your cross to bear..Spending time in such an environment can eat up your mental energy and bother your mind so much as to leave no room for your own creative energy and personal development..
Spend time away, work on yourself and your future ASAP, Understand time is going and hopefully you'll achieve your goal pertaining the family sooner than later..

Iogobenz:
I don't have bias for women neither do I hate them.
Also,if you go through my posts,I hardly put mouth in things I don't know about.
You won't see me on BBN threads,football or tribalists threads,but this my friend,I do know what I am talking about.
Women don't WANT to build any empire with men,they do so only if they HAVE to.
I am not misinforming anyone,I am simply telling them the truth since as I've been out there for way too long.
Been with all classes of them,from different places and countries too before I was able to draw that conclusion

So you are saying that no woman in history till date has ever built a business with their husbands? Or that there are no women presently building businesses with their husbands?

This is a fallacy of hasty generalization.

Get your facts right and don't make false conclusions.

ImaIma1:


So you are saying that no woman in history till date has ever built a business with their husbands? Or that there are no women presently building businesses with their husbands?

This is a fallacy of hasty generalization.

Get your facts right and don't make false conclusions.

Did they want to or have to?
That has been my point since

Iogobenz:
Did they want to or have to?
That has been my point since

How do you know they don't want to?

ImaIma1:


How do you know they don't want to?

because you all don't be with struggling guys if everything is equal na.
It's not rocket science

Iogobenz:
because you all don't be with struggling guys if everything is equal na.
It's not rocket science

Your assumption is wrong and an insult to women that struggle and build lives and businesses with their husbands from scratch.

ImaIma1:


Your assumption is wrong and an insult to women that struggle and build lives and businesses with their husbands from scratch.

The truth always sound like an insult.
The ones that do,do so because they have to.meaning they do not have much of a choice

Too bad. This why men should like me. Always, without hesitation, discard toxic people away from your life. Is it written anywhere that if one doesn't marry one would be miserable? Is it written anywhere that if your marriage crashes then you are a failure and inferior human? Sometimes, things may not go the way we want but we should be willing to accept what we can't change and make the right decision. Imagine if your father and mother were US citizens, your mom would have drove your dad to suicide in the divorce court.

Your dad priotises the family's "peace" and unity over doing the right thing. Funny enough, he is doesn't even have peace. Your dad is better off without your mum and with custody of you guys. Too bad he is weak.

mrpaedo:
Those asking why his father didn't notice these negative traits in the OP mother seem to be inexperienced in the behaviors of women.
If you like woo a woman for 10 to 100 years.Na when you marry am put am for house.Na only then you go begin see im real character.
I have no sympathy for men who suffer in this failed,archaic social construct called marriage

Gbam!

BobbyTarantino:

I emphathize with you bro, I'm faced with a similar situation although to a somewhat milder degree, but I totally understand how you feel..
My best advice?...Just find a way to be away from that place most of the times, so you can find peace. in my case, I always made sure I stayed back in school even during holidays, understand that most people can never change, don't spend the most of your time, trying to find an explanation/solution to the situation, it's not your cross to bear..Spending time in such an environment can eat up your mental energy and bother your mind so much as to leave no room for your own creative energy and personal development..
Spend time away, work on yourself and your future ASAP, Understand time is going and hopefully you'll achieve your goal pertaining the family sooner than later..

Thanks

Samyj247:
pls what state is your mum from....IMO?

hahahaha..imo wifes serial cheaters

Davebrown13:
...

Stop blaming your mother — your father is the cause of everything. He was a nice guy. When they tell nice guys they'll carry last, never comprehend.

When his friend back then "probably" told him to read one or two relationship books to learn how women work (someone he will spend the rest of his life with), he refused — thinking he already understands women and puts all his focus only on making money. Now, with all the money he has, is he happy?

Nice guys fall in love and never look back. He thought he could change her, but now couldn't. Sometimes, nervousness and fear of talking to a new woman make men stick to a bad woman. Lack of confidence is the reason most men are suffering.

When an introvert manages to get a girlfriend, he puts all his heart into loving her and neglects all the red flags. Why? He thinks if he dumps her, it will take him 10 more years to get another woman.

A bad woman are meant to be dumped instantly even if she's intelligent and beautiful. It's better a man stays forever single than to marry a nagging woman.

I don't blame your mom, I blame your dad.

Anyway, don't marry a woman like your mom and don't be like your dad. Be a confident badáss who can dump a nagging woman instantly and move on to search for a better one. Have abundance mentality.

mrpaedo:
Those asking why his father didn't notice these negative traits in the OP mother seem to be inexperienced in the behaviors of women.
If you like woo a woman for 10 to 100 years.Na when you marry am put am for house.Na only then you go begin see im real character.
I have no sympathy for men who suffer in this failed,archaic social construct called marriage

You are right to an extent. You can see a woman's real character even if you haven't married her yet.

Sadly, most men are scared to push the boundary to find a woman's real character. When a woman meets a real no nonsense man, she drops her bad character almost instantly.

But with too many weak men around, most women don't see the need of dropping their bad behaviors because these men worship them.

Being strong is not by beating a woman, but by a woman dropping her bad behaviors because she knows her man is not weak like other men. Only the silence of her man makes her shiver let alone his actions or words.

The world is littered with weak men who are after sex and making money. As long as they get the sex and hustle for money, they don't care how a woman treats them. These sets of men will continue to suffer till thy kingdom comes.

Juliet11111:

YOU ARE MAD

see this hookup girl o...with 3k dem go useless ur kitten