it might be he is not intrested or he just doesnt wanna seetle down yet its scary being commited to someone u no its a big decision dont pressurise him but talk 2 him about it n if he doesnt want it just leave it

kike001: thanks a bunch for that post. its good 2 knw there are still some ladies who can see the world from a different view.

laudate: i can tell ur always gonna be in a hurry, whats the rush?has someone done this 2u b4?There is no direct correlation between age and marital bliss.i can relate with ur line of thot, but its not that clear-cut like u put it. we all draw inferences from d xperiences we've had or seen. life doesnt give no guarantees.u can't leave without risks, but d truth is with every risk comes an opportunity and a reward. av u ever heard the sayin "good things come to those who wait"?

my little advice is that life itself is a risk, so dont be scared of risks, check yourself, do you think he really still loves you?, what is he really scared of?, if the answer to the first question is yes, and he his scared of his future and the future of his unborn children and wants to make sure he is financially stable enough to be a responsible father.  The solution is to first apply the body language, your behaviour should speak for you, communication sometimes is better through body language and action, let him see through your behaviour that you are unhappy, if he loves you he must be curious on why you are unhappy, , then tell him your mind rough, and that if he wants you he has to do something at least an engagemnet or else you are quiting!!!, then watch his reaction, if he is not bothered then he was never worth it, , move on, if he is bothered, he will certainly act towards the direction you want him to , towards the engagement,

I also think communication is the answer. Just talk to your guy and tell him ur mind. Make it clear you have a problem with his attitude. See his reaction. Think well, create a strategy, so you won't say anything u might regret afterwards.

I do not think this guy is ready to be with you 4ever. Nothing stops him from getting engaged to you b4 going to the uni. One thing you should try to remember though is that 'most ppl now tends to meet their wiffy while at the uni'.

Open your eyes/heart, he might come back with his degree and a new babe (courtesy 'uni'), how old would you be and what would you do?

You guys should sit down now and get your priorities right.
If he is not ready to get committed now, what made you think he would later?

seun70:

I do not think this guy is ready to be with you 4ever. Nothing stops him from getting engaged to you before going to the uni. One thing you should try to remember though is that 'most people now tends to meet their wiffy while at the uni'.

Open your eyes/heart, he might come back with his degree and a new babe (courtesy 'uni'), how old would you be and what would you do?

You guys should sit down now and get your priorities right.
If he is not ready to get committed now, what made you think he would later?

Exactly oh.Its better to keep ur options open and if by then you not married and he still wants u y nt?

2dye4:

laudate: i can tell your always going to be in a hurry, whats the rush?

Pray tell, how is Laudate always in a hurry? Outline it for us in chapter & verse o! Is it because I gave the girl some honest advice? Would you have preffered me to sugar-coat the message with a tissue of lies? The girl is already 24 years old, not 18, & has dated him for 5 years, but the guy is NOT ready to commit to her. So what other advice does she need? That she should stick around till she is 30 or 35, listening to every pathetic excuse he decides to come up with, at periodic intervals? Life is too short for that. A woman's time is like a market. By evening, everyone goes home.

2dye4:

There is no direct correlation between age and marital bliss.

Oh yes, I agree. But there is a direct correlation between common sense & marital bliss. Go figure!

2dye4:

life doesnt give no guarantees.u can't leave without risks, but d truth is with every risk comes an opportunity and a reward. av u ever heard the sayin "good things come to those who wait"?

Good, because life doesn't give guarantees, we need to wise, sensible & smart enough know when to cut our losses, if something isn't working out, so we can move on to the next level. A man of 35 or 40 years, can still chase, toast & marry a 24, 26, 29 or 30 year old babe, whenever he desires. A woman of 28, 30 or 40 cannot do the same. Since her 27 or 28 year old guy is not ready to commit, she needs to break up with him, open her mind to dating another guy who is ready to love, respect, date & give her commitment (instead of excuses), so she can settle down in time, to a good marriage & motherhood.  How else can I spell it out for you?

There are too many single, attractive, intelligent young ladies in their thirties & early forties out there, who are not married because they spent the best part of their youth with some guy, hoping the chap would commit to them, but never did after he asked them to hold on.

So who do we blame in such cases? The lady who kept on hoping, without reading the handwriting on the wall? Or the guy who dumped them & turned round to marry a younger girl, when he was now ready to commit?

laudate, just wanted to say bravo to all of your posts

A woman's time is like a market. By evening, everyone goes home.

This is a nice quote.
I shall be using it soon,thanks laudate.

But the question is
when is evening?

babyosisi
that is a very good question
how body my sister?

sisimose:

babyosisi
that is a very good question
how body my sister?

fine o,just home alone.

welcome to the club , hubby is away , and i am chatting to the good folks of NL .

@ Sisimose

How u dey?U don chop d food wey u wan chop d oda day?LOL

@9ja4eva

sweetie late in answering but yes oooh, i chop am belle full .
we keep missing each other any how sha. NL too big not my fault.

LOL abi oh.The thing big pass Asia oh.Anyhow sha.

For real oh.So aoz ur end?

good ooh! abit stressed from work but i dey

Good knowing jare.

girl,

my advise to you: you are the one wearing the "shoes" and you know where it hurts the most. after being with this guy for 5 years you are in a better position that anyone on nairaland to make a decision on what to do. listen to your heart and do what it tells you to do. dont feel pressurised to make a any decision.

cheers

5yrs and no commitment is no joke.

9ja4eva:

5yrs and no commitment is no joke.

Na true word you talk!

Call him right now, don't hesitate, no second thoughts, just dump him, break it off, end the protracted relationship and switch off your phone.

TaxMan:

Call him right now, don't hesitate, no second thoughts, just dump him, break it off, end the protracted relationship and switch off your phone.

Haba, is that not too harsh? Whitepearl, my own suggestion is simple. Before dumping him, have a heart-to-heart, no-holds-barred discussion with him. If he wants to 'rake' or shout or yell, let him do so. Tell him exactly what is on your mind. Simply make your points, quietly, clearly and coolly. Then leave him for a few weeks, maybe 3 weeks at most. If he doesn't pop the question during that time, dump him. And move on fast.

Five years is too long for a guy to be playing 'ludo,' with your feelings. If he doesn't want you for keeps, someone else will.

laudate:


Five years is too long for a guy to be playing 'ludo,' with your feelings. If he doesn't want you for keeps, someone else will.

lol.
I loved that expression

lol


Wat of snake and ladder?

yes oooo.
miss my childhood.

@Topic

U sef postpone d sex naaaa

i agree with you totally, lol

Creamish:

@Topic

U sef postpone d sex naaaa

best advice of all.

@ topic,if you keep sleeping with him,there is no urgency in him marrying you.
Tell him you choose to be celibate until marriage and stick to that plan,if he has a problem with it then you know he only wants you to satisfy his manly needs.
Why should he buy the cow when the milk is free?