i quite agree with seun and b-boy you should take the matter to the police because there is no guarantee she would give you back the documents even after you pay her the money. but be careful how you deal with Nigerian policemen ooh because "policeman go see white he go say that thing na red"

@ poster,
let me give you some legal insight to your issue. there is something called 'breach of promise' to marry. thus if she can establish that
1. you promised to marry her,
2. people around know her as your fiancee and some even call her your wife, and
3. she can establish that she has refused other advances and made sacrifices just to be with you and support you, then my dear poster, considering  how long court actions take, you will certainly spend more than 50k and even waec and nysc would have given you a new cert (considering how long that takes).

as per your documents, you must establish that you have a certificate (by showing photocopies), you must establish that they are in her possession(in that case she will be given a notice to produce), and you must also establish that she is witholding them out of malice.

my dear, the darling police may not be sympathetic to your case cos you have brought shame to the gal (you must have known the kind of person she was before leading her on). going to a law court may turn out to be against your favour. EFCC may not ba able to help you recover your documents cos they are configured to deal with large sums of money.

so my dear, consider all your options. try to make her see reasons why you guys will not be right for each other. try pleading with her to release your certificates and if that doesnt work, my dear get the photocopies of your documents, swear an affidavit to the fact that they are missing and certify your photocopies (i.e certified true copy) until you can recover the originals.

and in the process, make sure you learn your lessons, cos its not only those in pyschiatric hospital that are mental-you just jam were (mad man).sometimes people like you that toy with peoples emotions can make some people go mental.

CKC,

I am very sympathetic with your present situation. However, it is possible that you are telling us the part of the story that will make us take sides with you. What if this story is not as true as you have narrated it? Only God knows!

The lesson we all should learn here is that we should all try to be transparent in dealing with everybody.

However, on the other hand, this girl is a CRIMINAL. Whatever the situation is, she does not have a single right to seize your things.

Understand this: People fall in love and fall out of love [especially when they can no longer get along], so she should understand that you did what you did [at least according to your story], because you did not see you both having a better future as a couple.

Listen, on no account should you pay a dime to that bitch. Yes, I mean it - she is a bitch. Thank God you did not make the mistake of marrying this girl [a pretentious, hard-core criminal and LovePeddler]. Who knows what she would have done to you, if you made the mistake of saying 'I do'.

The major danger of paying that money to her is:

SHE WILL NOT STOP THERE - She will find other methods to ask for more. If she collects the first one, she will [most likely] connive with her community boys to get some more money from you. The more you pay, the more they increase the prize for the next payment. I know them very well. This is not a joke. Take it very seriously!


POSSIBLE SOLUTION:

JUST TAPE HER CONVERSATION: Contrary to what Seun suggested I do not thing it is wise to invite her to discuss the matter. The girl [I am sorry, she was your girlfriend] is a thief and an imposter. The much you can do here is to call her and record your conversation on PUBLIC phone [without her knowledge] - just in case there is any denial somewhere.

INVOLVE THE POLICE: Listen, do not be afraid to go to the POLICE. No matter how much of the thugs she knows, if she ever gets to know that the Police are hunting her, she will have no choice than to give up.

I had a similar case [sometime last two years] when some boys tried to forcefully extort money from me - for no just cause. I weighed every option carefully before going to the Police. Bros, the best option you have is going to the Police. By the time they catch up with her and land her in the cell, [o boy listen] she go bring those certificates!

Make sure that you have some money for Police settlement - at least it will not be up to that 50,000 which she is requesting.

If she ever burns the certificates, make sure she is not released from the cell, then proceed to file a lawsuit.

O boy, let me warn you. Do not treat this girl as a friend anymore. In fact, my advice is that you start seeing this girl as one of your worst enemies. This girl can kill! Put your mind at the back and do the worst! She does not deserve pity!

I do not care whatever any other person has to say on this issue, but my stand still remains that this girl should not go unpunished.

My candid suggestion,
Jojo

Good for you dude, U know initially you're not going to marry her why did u promise to marry her,
Anyway, nobody above mistake. Theres solution to every problem.Call her and talk sense to her or used trick to get her back to you for some month after,make peace with her and let her go.

Hmmm! very simple, get a phone that records voice conversations, call her up with d phone and record the conversations u

guys made while talking with her,

Then u have some evidence against her men!

by the way you guyz should learn how not to make marriage promises when u don't know the person yet!!!

na so u for take marry arm-robber-motor!! eh!!

@ckc,try n use dialogue she is probably motivitated by her MEND brothers, but most importantly learn a lesson 4rm this expirience cos it could ve been worse, this story tells a care free life on ur part.gd luck

I'm sure ur mother wasn't home dat day, otherwise she would've kidnapped her and asked u for ransome. Dat girl aint good 4 u bro. get legal action against her rightaway

If you can lure her as a friend back to your life,you can get it back.Or send somebody to her.do not take it hard on her cause you can not kill her.All you need is your certificate back to you.

otuonye:

Listen, on no account should you pay a dime to that bitch. Yes, I mean it - she is a bitch. Thank God you did not make the mistake of marrying this girl [a pretentious, hard-core criminal and LovePeddler]. Who knows what she would have done to you, if you made the mistake of saying 'I do'.

Haba! What kind of vengeful description is this one? Alright, if she is a bitch, what do you call the guy who used her to do hit & run after promising her marriage, backing out of it & making her the object of ridicule? A saint? If you have a younger sister & someone described her in such terms, would you be happy? Like I said before, the girl is just hurting & in her pain she may have wanted to lash out at him. Period.

When he was having intimate relations with her, did they tell you he saw her as a pretentious, hard-core criminal and LovePeddler,  to use your own words?? If he knew she was one, why then did he go to the extent of proposing marriage to her? How are you even sure that the guy is not owing her money, or that he did not get her to incur some expenses on his behalf, which he has failed to pay back?

otuonye:

O boy, let me warn you. Do not treat this girl as a friend anymore. In fact, my advice is that you start seeing this girl as one of your worst enemies. This girl can kill! Put your mind at the back and do the worst! She does not deserve pity!

All this 'gra-gra' moves, that you guys are advising him to make, will only worsen the situation.
He needs to allow her to cool down & then, appeal to her in a kind, soft manner.

Someone should tell the original poster to apologise if possible, for any heartache he caused her. If she refuses to listen, he could approach their mutual friends to intervene or ask her siblings to try & talk to her. It may take time, but if he is diplomatic & patient, she will give in eventually. It could take a week or more, but once she sees so many people intervening, she will soften her hard stance.

People get dumped all the time. But the way & manner in which he did it, may have made the girl bitter. Who knows if he insulted her in the process or even beat her up? Am just asking. That could have gotten her mad & made her vow to deal with him. I have seen people break up & yet, end up as good friends a few months or a few years down the line. Who says you have to be enemies, just because you have broken up with a girl? Maturity, wisdom, diplomacy & tact are needed in this case. May God give the guy the ability he badly needs, to handle the situation.

@ laudate

If you do not live in the south-south, it is understandable to hear what you have just said.

Listen to this guy: [At least, according to him] This man opened a business worth 38,000 for her. Although, the guy did not tell us, I still have a reason to believe that the guy is still an applicant - looking for work!

Who knows, maybe the guy was willing to expand the business for her, or possibly find other ways to ensure she is happy

Has had an affair with her [which did not blossom into marriage, because of her attitude]. Does it make you understand that it was [to a large extent] the girl's fault?

Listen, if this girl were to be sister, honestly, I will give the certificates back to the guy - not minding what she thinks! Why would you force someone to marry you?. I think it was better for the guy to break up the relationship at this time [seeing what was on ground], than to end up in regret all through his life for getting married to someone who would not appreciate him

We have had a lot of similar stories, but no one goes as far as seizing the other person's certificates. How does he get a job? Even if they eventually got married, is this how the girl would 'RESPECTFULLY' treat him as a soulmate?

Maybe, I was a bit rough with my choice of words. Sorry about that, but I still think that the guy does not need to pay the girl a dime. If he does, she come in another way demanding for more.

The fact that she might [and most likely WILL] come back for more make me the more afraid.

My candid advice
Jojo

otuonye:

Listen to this guy: [At least, according to him] This man opened a business worth 38,000 for her. Although, the guy did not tell us, I still have a reason to believe that the guy is still an applicant - looking for work!

Who knows, maybe the guy was willing to expand the business for her, or possibly find other ways to ensure she is happy

Has had an affair with her [which did not blossom into marriage, because of her attitude]. Does it make you understand that it was [to a large extent] the girl's fault?

Listen, if this girl were to be sister, honestly, I will give the certificates back to the guy - not minding what she thinks! Why would you force someone to marry you?. I think it was better for the guy to break up the relationship at this time [seeing what was on ground], than to end up in regret all through his life for getting married to someone who would not appreciate him

We have had a lot of similar stories, but no one goes as far as seizing the other person's certificates. How does he get a job? Even if they eventually got married, is this how the girl would 'RESPECTFULLY' treat him as a soulmate?

Maybe, I was a bit rough with my choice of words. Sorry about that, but I still think that the guy does not need to pay the girl a dime. If he does, she come in another way demanding for more.

The fact that she might [and most likely WILL] come back for more make me the more afraid.

Not every girl in the South-South is a crook or a hoodlum.

You and I have NOT heard the girl's side of the story. And until we do, it is a bit pre-emptive to pass judgements based on just one person's account of the whole event. Audi alterem partem.

What attitude did she exhibit, that led to their break-up? Do you know categorically what caused their rift or are you just basing it on what the guy has said?

Listen, nobody is asking the guy to pay her anything. All am saying is that he needs to be careful about the way he goes around, asking for the certificates.

If she was truly evil, she would have burnt those certificates & claimed she did not see them, or know where they were. I think she merely wants to make him feel a bit of the pain, he caused her. Once she chills, or the guy shows some remorse, she will most likely return them.

By the way, I don't think she wants him to marry her anymore, or else she wouldn't have seized his papers. If she still wanted marriage, she would have been begging him tearfully, or persuading people to talk to him, in order to try & change his mind. She could even have lured him to bed & gotten pregnant, in order to force his hand. 

Caution is the watch word for the guy. He needs a full dose of it, in order to handle this case. Retaliation is not the answer. An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind.

Am out.

I know u made a mistake by promising her marraige, but plz do pay her any money because she will continue to ask for more from u. if u know where she stay just a Army there.

report her to the police asap. she is a thief as well as a cheap blackmailer and since both offences are criminal, she deserves to be arrested and locked up.

but o boy, u take style foolish small how could your ex have gained access to your house, to the extent of seizing your docs? dont you have carpenters where you live or it just dint occur to you that you should change your locks?

U guys should not put ethnic colorations into this issue. I dont believe that a "people" is bad or good. That she is from Ikwere (niger-delta) and you are Ibo is meaningless (this has been the bane of the nigerian society). The matter should be dealt with purely on its merits. Perhaps the idea of involving EFCC sounds more appealing to me. As someone suggested, make sure u record ur conversations with her. Then, u can head for EFCC. It is as simple as that. Even if she decides to destroy ur certificates, u can always have an alternative.

Just do as Seun said. It is a serious issue.

Might even result to impersonation.

gugo:

U guys should not put ethnic colorations into this issue. I don't believe that a "people" is bad or good. That she is from Ikwere (niger-delta) and you are Ibo is meaningless (this has been the bane of the nigerian society). The matter should be dealt with purely on its merits. Perhaps the idea of involving EFCC sounds more appealing to me. As someone suggested, make sure u record your conversations with her. Then, u can head for EFCC. It is as simple as that. Even if she decides to destroy your certificates, u can always have an alternative.

Man mi, you dey talk like say you no sabi Naija people.  Especially some of di ones wey dey this nairaland. The minute anything happens to them, the first thing they spew out are all kinds of derogatory comments about a person's ethnic group. Some folks even go to the extent of putting up newspaper articles, in order to just ridicule an entire ethnic group. Articles that have very little to do with the topic under discussion o!

If an important issue is up for discussion, and someone's performance (let's say OBJ, for example) is being criticised, before you know it, that person's sins (wether real or imaginary) are suddenly seen in the light of his linguistic group or visited upon his tribe, and insults start flying around.

Their thinking goes like this: Mr. A hails from X ethnic group. And he has committed crime 'B'. Therefore, all members of Mr. A's ethnic group, are likely to behave like Mr. A, (don't ask me why!)
& must be seen as guilty of the same offence. It doesn't matter if they know Mr. A or not. It doesn't even matter if they are not even remotely related to him! They always forget that the good, the bad & the ugly exist in all tribes/ethnic groups or nationalities, and can be found even within their very own clan
!

Sincerely, I blame you not for dumping the girl but for using the approach that brought about this matter.I have been in and out of relationship and all of them are close friends of mine till know.You know why,we always protects what brought us together before the issue of LOVE comes in and thta is FRIENDSHIP.

Most of girls av dated still hold me in high esteem because we seperated in a manner taht makes it easy for us to relate evn after.

Here is what u should do,

Forget about Police Option. Try and sit this girl down and talk to her in a way she will understands.I expect you to operate from her soft spot which u must know by now if u really know her.

Let her know that the money is not the problem but the point is you are not totally convince about letting her go.Tell her yuo are under pressure and that she is the only one that can help you out.

Let the meeting take place in her choicest place and give no room for suspicion.

Work on her brain and get your document out but don't rush.

U mat read POWER OS SEDUCTION by Robert Green to achieve your goal faster.
Next time,don't hurt ladies.They are good messangers but bad masters.

Be faithful tothe current one.

I pray this method works o.

If a discussion works, then better. At least, the guy would not have to spend much, and maybe even have a better rlship with her. [although, i don't think he needs her]

I pray it works oo.

Jojo

Its indeed a pity what you are going through. she has not done well at all and her action reveals that you did the right thing. but I want you to understand that trying to use force and treats against her too will be indeed fruitless it will be like a eunuch trying to dis-virgin a girl.

try to see her in person (except there is some thing you have not told us about how you separated) she may just be frustrated and some one somewhere is taking advantage of the situation to use her against you. talk to her and make her understand why both of you can't be together as married couples, if you know her much you will know how to break her with words she will only end up in tears and then return it all.

but I wonder why she is not trying to come back to you by her reaction. her attitude is that of vengeance. are you sure you are not the culprit in these?

, this is not really a laffin matter but d other way round it is, reading all d advise all i can say is b patient i have tried it "Silence" and it worked for me few can practice it but it works. because any action can lead 2 any bad counter action. She nos dat dats wot u value most. Pretend as if u can get anoda one and make sure u repaort theft of ur cert.

am sorry to laugh but its kinda funny

its a terroristic relationship


hand over the money and i will give you your child, ur girl must watch 24 alot

@ckc,

How far? Has she returned the certificates yet? Give us an update, o!

d two of una dey craze,

bros try pay her d moni cos of good old days with her,but she is cheap,what will 50k do 4 her?jus give her but b sure she will give u ur documents first

my advice 2 ckc

1. paying the chic will not bring your documents back; it's a cheap source of blackmail.

2. involving the police even with the 007plan by Seun will not bring out your certificates; the girl is frm a militant area she cn blow herself and the documents up

3. i think TAI CHI will work in this case; high intelligence and perseverance. get this girl back in the game, roll along long enough just as you did previously. put every other engagement Fs on hold. she will give u ur docs once she feels home at home, then u vanish. (have u introduced her to ur ppl, does she knw ur native home or permanent residence)

4. if plan three doesnt work, combine ploan one, two and three.

Thats the problem with some guys. You see a girl who is clearly a trpuble maker and yet you stick with her for whatever reason you can think of. The number 1 rule in my MODEST book of rules is "NEVER DATE A CRAZED WOMAN" even if she never show you craze, eventually she will.
 And now you come with this? I'm not sorry for you oh!

   Simple solution. Since she's asking for money get the police. If that doesn't work, GOD HELP YOU.


  LOUD LONG HISS!

Well, you should be happy, and if i were you, i will quickly pay the money, cos she actually willingly ready to let you go at a price.
Better than all those that will use voodoo.
Pay up and get your document.

@Poster,
This looks and sound like a clear case of documents kidnapping, I would advise you seek my assistance, I'm a professional negotiator. I will ensure you dont pay very high ransom.

ewo sorry oh. Cant u maybe get proof that she took it, like i dont know, email records and textes, and report her to the authorities, or area boys on your block.

plus y hasnt nigeria gone digital eh. they should have an office that u can call and request another copy. i know they dont have that but i wish they did.