Many men can’t stay and watch. If the tables were turned, many women would try to escape it too. When my mum had to have CS, my father signed the form and ran away because he was terrified to death for his wife and unborn child.

My friend told me that when his mum had cancer and was dying, his brothers were almost never around. People that were always around when she was in good health.

My brother relocated to Lagos when my mum’s cancer entered gear 2. He couldn’t deal with it.

Someone in my family suffered the same thing with stillbirth and her husband could just never go close to the hospital where they had the baby. She was ready to register there again for ante-natal the second time. Her husband couldn’t bring himself to drive there.

When you’re a bystander, of course you can judge because you’re operating with a clear head. Fear, pain and grief can drive you mad.

Your mother can die in front of you and you’ll go home, clean the house and eat ice cream like you’re having a normal day.