3 PRINCIPLES FOR DECISION-MAKING IN RELATIONSHIPS.
Anyone who has ever tried to make a decision – small or big – with their partner knows how difficult it is. Why is it so hard? When you are single, your decisions are your own; they only require personal buy-in and typically they have very little impact on other people. (Or at least that’s what you tell yourself!)

When you’re in a committed relationship, on the other hand, decisions require buy-in from both parties, and nearly every decision you make has an impact on your partner. Once two people enter into a relationship, the number of decisions they should make on their own decreases significantly because their respective decision circles overlap. This is not necessarily because all of these decisions must be made together, but rather because nearly every decision you make individually in a relationship has an impact on the other person. In order to maintain a healthy relationship, each partner must at least consider their spouse when making decisions. Whether you are actively making decisions together or considering one another in your individual decisions, there are relatively few that you should make completely on your own.

However, the degree to which your two decision circles overlap is entirely up to you and your partner, and it is different for every couple. Still, the more decisions a couple can successfully share and/or confidently defer to the others judgement on, the better. If one or both partners are making excessive unilateral decisions, then, sooner or later, the relationship will suffer.

THREE PRINCIPLES FOR JOINT DECISION-MAKING
Now you’re ready to make all these decisions as a couple, right? Not so fast. To effectively take action, there are three principles that you must live by as you go through the process:

Communication. Understand one another’s perspective. How do they see things? Let them tell you what they see and what they believe to be true. Make sure they understand that their input is valuable and contributes significantly to the outcome, the final decision.

Respect. When your partner makes his or her own decisions, you must openly and wholeheartedly respect their judgement and allow them the freedom to succeed or fail on their own.

Trustworthiness. When making your own decisions, you must consistently show your partner that you can make good decisions on your own. As Tony often says, It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently that makes a lasting change.