We were going on fine, but I just discovered, I had to clear my head. I don't Understand what I felt, how I feel for you. I thought I wanted something more, yea, maybe. Not that I thought, I really wanted something more. But then, you didn't give me attention.

I would call, you wouldn't pick. I would text, no replies. I thought I was in this alone, so I wanted to clear my head. I didn't want to go deep into an unrequited love, so I had to clear my head. I didn't call or text for up to a month. You might think I was fine, no I wasn't. I missed you dearly, I couldn't forget. You images slapped me on waking up. They made my breakfast and had lunch with me. They didn't spare me during dinner neither did they let me go the moments I always spent before bed. They romanced me in bed! I wanted to clear my head, but I couldn't do that simple task.

Then you called. You were angry, I was confused. You wanted me to call, but you don't pick my calls or reply my texts. I still couldn't get or figured it out. We lapsed into our silence again. But that was the most unfortunate thing we did. Maybe not, but it did open another chapter in my life. A chapter I wished was and is still closed. Because it brought with it to a lot of confusion into my life. I just wanted to clear my head and things wouldn't stop getting complicated.

She crept back into my life like a poison. No not you, but she. She was there before you, when she left, I found you and found true happiness. I could tolerate all your short comings inasmuch as you loved me. But she crept back in. I forgot to lock the back door, I'm sorry. But how on earth did I forget that? She's been knocking ever since she left and I had refused to open up. i don't know what she wants but I didn't want to be friends as she said. But then she crept in. Through the back door.

What was that again they said about primary love language? My was attention. Acts of service. And she knew that. She gave me what you couldn't give me, attention. Wait, you're not totally at fault here, I knew your primary love language too, touch and gifts, but I was skeptical too. I have always had a phobia for materialistic girls. No you weren't materialistic, you were just a gift girl. You'd appreciate it no matter how little the gift is. That's your love language. So I didn't show you much, neither did you.

When I saw her in, I rushed and dialled you, and you boldly came in through the front door. That day you told me you loved me and I was happy. Very happy. So I thought everything was settled. I was a loyal freak so I trusted my god-status. Hey, I didn't cheat on you. I never did. Till this point I'm writing. It's just that things didn't go to well. In all, my heart remained with you, not once did it weaver. I stayed true to my feelings for you.

But....

It marked the beginning of confusion. Even after telling me you loved me, you still didn't pick my calls or replied my text. When you do pick, you drop it immediately, I was actually wondering if I heard right. You did repeat, but was i sure? Maybe you wanted to taunt me. She gave me time and that was confusing. For the first time, I wanted to know about the things that separated us. I wanted to know why she randomly hug me and say she missed me. I wanted to know a lot, to find out a lot. But my heart remained with you, I swear. I always know that at the end, even if she wants to come back, I will still go to you. I will still choose you. Only that it lies in your hands whether we end up together. She said, she might end up with me in the future, what does she want?

With You...

Lies my heart, my body, my soul. Would you hold on to it or throw it to her? It's you I want, It's your face I can't stop seeing. What I had with her this period was simple, I need to know, I need to understand. I'm a god and I would love to know. That is my weakness. Just I'm bound to loyalty, so also am I bound to insatiable understanding, knowledge and wisdom. I would always want to know.

I think our fates are intertwined, the moment I a god, chose to fall in love with a human female, I think things were reset. Only I pray, you don't play me. That you lay bare to me your true feelings. Maybe it is my insatiable need for knowledge of human love that made me make the decision to fall in love. I want to understand the feelings and emotions of humans. I can read the hearts of human, but that of you both, I can't read. What lies therein I need to know. To you and to her, I pray that my emotions which have developed as that of humans be not toiled with. With her have I seen the pains of human love. With you, would I see the joy of human love?

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