If you feel suicidal, stop and read on. It will only take you five minutes. I don't want to dissuade you from the reality of your suffering. I will only speak to you here as someone who knows what pain means.
I don't know who you are or why you're reading this page. I only know that right now you're reading it, and that's a good thing. I can assume that you are here because you are suffering and thinking about ending your life. If it were possible, I would rather be with you right now, sit with you and talk, face to face and with an open heart. But since this is not possible, let's do it through this page.



I knew several people who wanted to kill themselves. I myself have been in this case. So I have an idea of what you can feel. I know you can't read a big book, so I'll keep it short. While we are here together for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things to tell you that I would like to share with you. I won't discuss whether or not you should kill yourself.

Well, you're still reading this text, and it's terrific. Please stay with me until the end of this page. I hope this means that you are at least a little uncertain, deep down, somewhere inside you, about whether or not you will end your life. This is often felt, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being in doubt about his death is normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means that you are still a little uncertain. This means that while you want to die, at the same time, a part of yourself wants to continue to live. Let's stick to that, and stay for a few more minutes.


Start by thinking about this sentence:
"Suicide is not a choice; you are led to it when the pain exceeds the resources to deal with it."
In suicide, that's all it is. You are not a hated person, or crazy, or weak, or incapable, because you feel suicidal. Having dark thoughts doesn't even mean you really want to die - it just means you have more pain than resources to take care of it now. If I pile weights on your shoulders, you will collapse after a while if I add enough weight... no matter how much you want to stand... (That's why it's so useless for people to tell you: "stand up, keep your spirits up!" - you would, of course, if you could.)

Don't accept that someone tells you, "There's no reason to be suicidal about it." There are different kinds of suffering that can lead to suicide. Whether the pain is bearable or not differs from one person to another. What may be bearable for someone may not be bearable for you. The limit at which pain becomes unbearable depends on the kind of resources you have. Individuals are very different in their ability to withstand pain.

When pain exceeds the resources available to cope with it, the result is suicidal thoughts, "black thoughts". Suicide is then neither false nor true; it is not a defect of character; there is no need to judge it morally. It is simply an imbalance of pain in relation to the resources available to deal with them.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of these two things:
(1) Find a way to reduce pain,
or
(2) Find a way to increase your resources to deal with them.
Or both at the same time.

Here are the five things to consider that I was talking about earlier.

1 The first thing you need to hear is to know that you are doing well. People who were suffering as much as you are right now, have come out of it. So you have a very good chance of getting out of it. I hope this information can give you some hope.


2 The second thing I want to suggest is to give you some perspective. Tell yourself, "I'll wait 24 hours before doing anything." Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like you want to kill yourself doesn't mean you have to do it now. Take a step back from your suicidal feelings to an action. Even if it's only 24 hours. You were able to do so for 5 minutes while reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read it. Go on and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this time, acting in this way. This is very encouraging for me, and I hope it is for you.

3 The third thing is this: people often think of suicide to find relief from their pain. We don't want to die, but we want to stop suffering. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you must be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you are so desperately looking for if you are dead.

4 The fourth thing is this: some will react badly to your suicidal feelings because they are frightened or angry; these people may even increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You must understand that their negative reactions have to do with their own fears, not with you.
But there are also people who can be with you during these difficult times. They will not judge you, they will not seek to contradict you.

They'll just take care of you. Find one. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what's going on for you. It is normal to be able to ask for help one day. Call a specialized crisis line (Phoenix Suicide SOS, Friendship SOS, call a specialized centre near you, or look in the directory), call a psychotherapist (psychoanalyst, psychologist, psychiatrist), someone who is able to listen to you. But above all, don't carry the extra burden of trying to handle this alone. Just talking about what got you there can take a lot of the pressure off you, and maybe it's just the extra resource you need to get back into balance.



5 The last thing I want you to know now is this: suicidal feelings are, in and by themselves, traumatic. After they disappear, you need to continue to take care of yourself. Starting therapy is a really good idea.
Good. It's been a few minutes and you're still with me. I'm really happy about that.

Since you've been here before, you deserve a gift. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a portion of extra resources to deal with pain. Remember, earlier at the beginning of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more resources than pain. So give yourself an extra one, or two, or ten...! until they surpass your sources of pain.

Now, if this page has brought you any relief, the best and greatest resource you can find is someone to talk to. If you find someone who wants to listen and tell them how you feel and how you got there, you will really have increased your resources. Fortunately, the first person you choose will not be the last. There are many people who would like to hear what it is like for you. It's time to start looking for one around you.

My dear,

Anyone that wants to commit Suicide will not have the patience to read all those write up

Nice write up

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