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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? (11219 Views)
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Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by Romeo4real(m): 8:50pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
So much vitriol being spewed out here? This was not meant to be a male bashing thread. A quick search on NL will quickly show (for those living on Mars) that Men and Women are both to blame for marriage breakups. And back to the subject of cheating, research after research have show women to be only marginally better than men - 55% of women cheat, as opposed 60% of married men - and this was a study done in 2002! No matter how rehashed the question is, it is still a valid one. In fat, it is so valid that it underpins the whole of society today. Broken homes DO lead to broken societies. Back to the OP's question - Being a "good" is just one of the components need to keep your marriage; For starters, you would have to marry the "right" person; one who can appreciate your "goodness". Also, the "goodness" cannot be defined by you, as it would always be prejudiced. The same way being a "good" husband is certainly no guarantee of keeping your wife happy. All you can do is do what you SHOULD do (NOT your best), and leave the rest to God. |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by Nobody: 8:59pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
Romeo4real:What country was that survey carried out? Infact please post the source/link. Thank you. |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by Nobody: 9:03pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
ohaechesi:@bolded, That is just unfortunate. Infact it is worse than unfortunate. |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by harakiri(m): 9:04pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
mutter: I have noticed a very familiar trend on nairaland.Whenever a guy blurts out glaring truths concerning relationships or more specifically, WOMEN. . .next thing you see are comments from the opposite sEXxX concerning the guy being hurt in a relationship or if the guy has hatred towards women. The reality is that these women know the truth but will always try to circumvert the issue with derailing comments. That being said, i speak for myself and i can proudly tell you that i don't need a woman to make me "feel" like a man. I AM A MAN WHO KNOWS HIMSELF AND HAS CONFIDENCE IN HIMSELF. I don't need reassurance from anybody to know my standing. It's all this media and religious brainwashing that has confused majority of the populace to the extent that they no longer know that the basics of marriage is anymore but what they are spoon fed with.Furthermore, i am a man whose in a relationship WITH MY EYES OPEN (meaning i am not blinded by that lie called "love" ![]() Finally, you claim that love and companionship is all that women want from a man.Even you yourself know that that's a bloody lie! How many beautiful ladies here would marry a one legged man (who isn't a billionaire?).How many ladies here would settle for a man who has no social security and no future ambition? Shebi love is blind abi? What is this love anyways? What is your own definition of love? Explain what differentiates the love between two couples and the love they have for their brand new ferraris? Medics have proven that the euphoric feeling of love we feel in our brains can be replicated by eating good chocolate (haven't you wondered why chocolates and other delicious goodies remain the best vals day gifts?). Everything about the lie called love is CONDITIONAL and that implies that the moment the factors that brought both couples disappears, the "love" dies. It's a universal law and applicable to everyone. My post might sound harsh but that is how the cold truth always is. This is not the post of some unhappy guy who is mad at the world (matter of fact, my woman keeps rolling on my back every now and then to see what i'm typing on my bed and she's calling me crazy and laughing out loud).This is a post of a guy who has grown to face the harsh realities of life. Nuff said. |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by deols(f): 9:11pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
Romeo4real: EHhhhhhhhh, dont even bring that here. That survey am sure was not caried out inNigeria and is so not applicable here. |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by ohaechesi(m): 9:16pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
fellis: there you go again! listen attentively, it was for all the points you made mentioned sent most of our fathers to early grave. not again my dear, provided there was procreation involvement in the marriage, men prefer to be on their own "if" their wives choose to turn tiger over night |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by Nobody: 9:19pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
I jxt hope sum pple are reading those sermons above ma head |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by mojounited(m): 9:19pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
MzDarkSkin: MzDarkSkin: ^^SMH @ such venom. My dear, you sound like someone that's been hurt cuz your signature has kinda changed from (you know). . .I may be wrong though. You've made your point but just try not to generalise it w.r.t the OP; different strokes apply to different folks. However, some men are not just designed to be Mr nice; call thier woman every now and then, buy them flowers and say those sweet and stimulating words women would like to hear. . .some men are hard-wired to see through the jeans and blouses women put on (even if u're dressed in heavy clothings like in the winter), reminisce on how they both got down the previous time but tend to forget about how caring the woman is/has been in terms of other factors. Meanwhile, some just believe that "Man shall not live by bread alone" ![]() ![]() |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by Nobody: 9:23pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
ohaechesi:It is still unfortunate. Women also put up with crap from their husbands but will not come to boldly declare that their children are not worth staying put in the marriage. |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by Romeo4real(m): 9:34pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
What country was that survey carried out? Infact please post the source/link.The information is actually from The Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy - Innovations in Clinical and Educational Interventions, Volume 1 Issue 3 2002, but there are numerous links online with the same data. Just google "Infidelity Statistics". The research is from 2 countries - UK & USA. Do bear in mind that infidelity stats for both sexes are far higher in Nigeria. Google is your friend. |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by Romeo4real(m): 9:37pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
EHhhhhhhhh, dont even bring that here. That survey am sure was not caried out inNigeria and is so not applicable here.Thank God it wasn't - because the percentages would simply be equal. At least at the moment, women can STILL claim that men still cheat more, if only by a small margin. |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by ohaechesi(m): 9:50pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
Romeo4real: I wouldn't like to say yout statistical report are worthly rather not ethical in Nigerian marital affairs, you stands to be corrected. try and make a proper research once more |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by MissyB3(f): 10:04pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
This Harakiri is an interesting character. I may not like the way he articulates his opinion on topics about Women, but it's difficult to ignore or slight the modicum of truth in his posts. |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by ohaechesi(m): 10:20pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
Missy ★ B: may your days be long ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by buzugee(m): 10:28pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
let me give you a few pointers on how to keep your man ![]() 1, get in where you fit in. do not try to marry a man who is much more better looking than you. this is a potential problem waiting to happen. many girls will flirt with him and wonder why he is with you. he will eventually be worn down after so much advances from so many women that he will take up some of the offers especially if the woman is hot. stay in your lane. marry someone who looks uglier or as good as you. ![]() 2, do not marry a man who is wayyyy richer than you. this is a potential problem. marry someone in the same economic class as you. marrying a rich man is a huge problem because he has enough resources at his disposal to replace you with a better model. the only rich man you should marry is someone who you both became rich together. marrying a ready made rich man will never work 3, always stay on point with your body. dont gain any crazy weight. stay fit, eat right, smell nice, keep your hygiene up to par. just always look classy and sexxxxxy 4, your hubby is not into incest. he did not marry his mom so please do not try to become his mum. stop nagging. learn to let things go. life is not that serious. learn to relax. learn to be easy-going. be happy. be joyful. stay stress free. dont be an uptight beyatchhhhh. nobody likes an uptight beyatchhhh. they might tolerate you but thats about it. if there is something that is bothering you, like the toilet sit is up ? do it yourself. put it down. dont always make an issue of trivial things. that pretty much covers it. mucho gracias ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by Nobody: 10:36pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
^^^Nice piece for the ladies |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by harakiri(m): 10:36pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
buzugee: Nice one Bruv. Positive talk right there. |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by Pettitegal(f): 10:38pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
harakiri:GGBAM, Totally agree with you, been married for 8 years and I can say, that sometimes couples go into marriage with unrealistic expectations of what "is" and what "should be" .Balancing both expecatatins is the key here. For me, I am more of a practical person and I thrive in practical realities and this works for me. However, what works for me may not work for someone else |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by harakiri(m): 10:47pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
Pettitegal: If half the population of married couples were as mature as you are, divorce prosecutors would be out of work. It's very rare to see the ladies on NL coming out with reality talk. Keep it going sister. Stay real with your marriage. |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by buzugee(m): 10:50pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
harakiri:had to lay it on the ladys like a pipe ![]() ![]() |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by buzugee(m): 10:56pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
El Guapo:right right. good lookin out bruv ![]() |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by harakiri(m): 10:57pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
Missy ★ B: Emmm. . . I also talk about my fellow men also (not women alone). Thanks for keeping it real. |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by dinggle: 11:08pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
These r the kind of men we have Choose your man. 1st man: *A good man that loves u very much. *Comes back home early because he is always thinking about you. *Has GOD in his life. *Financially average not too poor but has an income below middle class. *His d*ck is way below average n your sexual satisfaction is a mess. 2nd man: *A picker *You met him at a pick-up joint. *His friends are all women changers and you were aware b4 you met him, tho he promised to change.But as u know promises r made to be broken and he has broken his many times * He has the money to throw around. *Has an average d*ck. That seem to be able to satisfy you. 3rd man: *Holy Holy man. *Honest and truthful to his fault. *Survival is in the narrow range. Almost suffocating in poverty *Sex is 3rd rated and had when extremely necessary cos he is always thinking about the end time and preaching. *Has an average d*ck as well. 4th man: *He throws u upside down sexually *His d*ck is a bomb! and he is consider a rear breed. *No good job and you r the major income earner *You seem to be the head of the house. *He is somewhat faithful because he knows you r in the drivers seat. *When ever he cheats he does it perfectly and not even your best plan can detect him. What you don't know cant hurt u right? and he keeps cheating even wit your best friends. 5th man. Middle income earner. sexual activity average. Unfriendly mother n family (in-laws) Has brutal anger problem. but somewht ok 6th man. *Handsome, cute, loving. *Wants what you want, share what you share. *good love maker, always ready to make his woman happy. *sees his woman as a queen and treats her same. *slightly above average income earner, earned it through consistent hard work on a business he grew from scratch. Your probability of coming across him?? 1/100 how difficult. Consider for example u live in Lagos and he lives in Maiduguri. Or you live in Calabar and he lives in Sokoto. 7th man. *Good man *A bank manager. *Very good d*ck. *Sex life is wonderful. *But u r suspecting he has gay tendencies *His attitude towards men is a complete suspect and embarrasses u in public !!!PICK your MAN!!! |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by seyibrown(f): 11:09pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
@topic Being a good wife will most likely be enough to keep a good man; Being a good wife will never be enough for a bad man! Being a godly wife will be enough to keep a godly man |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by MUZBO(m): 11:38pm On Nov 13, 2010 |
Pray before u marry, pray while u r married and pray after u r ma. . .oops, that doesn't count! |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by Nobody: 12:27am On Nov 14, 2010 |
harakiri: Oh stfu! Your feelings are hurt ![]() mojounited: I have calmed down a bit. I am still angry. It is just that I have this guy I have been dating and he and I just got out of long term relationships. I will spare you all the details but lets just say he wants me but he doesn't want me. Like he wants me to be his girlfriend but he wants to "explore". He went from being "all mine and wanting me to be all his" to being pissed off and not wanting to talk to me when I refuse to engage in sexual "experiments" or see things the way he sees it. He is Jackyl and Hyde! (the African version ![]() ![]() *the jacked up part is that HE approached me! He literally chased me down to get my attention! And I went against my better judgment (just getting out of a 2 yr relationship) and gave him a shot. When he is not tripping he is the BEST but this is our first big fall out and I am pissed! |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by mutter(f): 1:50am On Nov 14, 2010 |
Harakiri I do not ant to derail too far from this topic but to answer you directly. True love is no based on factors but on qualities that a person has and these do not fade, The major problem most men have is that they do not respect women. When you do not respect woman, you cannot love her. No one can love what he does not respect or hold in high esteem.It is a shame that the African male has been reduced to this because this is the break down of the society that we are facilitating. It is not I but rather you that have been influenced by the propaganda without even knowing it. |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by Radiant(f): 2:10am On Nov 14, 2010 |
buzugee: I think the key point here is "learn to let things go". I would hug you if I could see you right now. ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by Radiant(f): 2:17am On Nov 14, 2010 |
Harakiri, I beg to defer. True love does exist and it is unconditional. It might not be reciprocated but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It's just a matter of the right people meeting each other. |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by tpia5: 2:24am On Nov 14, 2010 |
marry someone who looks uglier dangerous advice generally speaking. being ugly is no guarantee a man will make a good husband. neither extreme-too ugly or too handsome- is enough to keep a man, in itself. some ugly men are the worst players imaginable. |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by Radiant(f): 2:43am On Nov 14, 2010 |
tpia@: ![]() ![]() |
Re: Is Being A "good" Wife Enough To Keep A Man ? by roymary: 3:33am On Nov 14, 2010 |
Google should tell me how to keep your man because i really dunno, lol On a serious note, keeping your man is not such a big issue. Be the best woman you could ever be, and always improve on that; taking into consideration that you married the right man God ordained to you. As a religious person, you know good things only happens with God's intervention because their are various factors that will hinder our good intentions. For me, i will never leave a woman that has the fear of God in her, a woman that cooks delicious meals; a woman that knows how to keep the house clean(i clean a lot personally; some women are extremely dirty) A woman that knows other women will want me but chooses to always remind me how much she loves me regardless of any external temptation that might come my way. Men knows a good woman when they see one; no sensible man wants to throw away a good woman. So, be the best woman you could be. Finally, when it comes to "cheating" as women call it, i really dunno what to say, men cheat for various reasons, Some men cheat because they don't love their women; some cheat because Sex is just sport to them and a new treadmill won't be a bad idea; some men loves their women but just can't keep their eyes off those mini-skirts on the outside. I cheated because i did not have varieties of women when i was younger so i thought i missed out on something.Was busy pursing my career, Crazy reason huh!!! Thats the spirit , don't take what men do to heart, sometimes we mean no harm, Lol |
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