Coldie:
If he was poor, and ur family rejected his life partner choice and his family, would your family members be picking his calls?

The guy used to be nice like u said very nice, hut for him to change after the wife issue it depends on what ur people put him through during his trial time

Maybe they wanted a more receptive woman that will allow them to have access to whatever they want.

madridguy:
Is your mum still alive?

I keep laughing at people saying the OP should leave his brother alone and work for himself.

To me, in life we all need someone to lean on to climb our own ladder. A good example is Linda Ikeji, may God continue to bless her. I believe she hustle her way alone, but immediately she got to the top she never neglected her siblings. God bless her more.

I'm sure we all have different background and upbringing but none of my siblings can do this. We have community training and my father of blessed memory used to ring it to our ears before he passed on. He used to say, i pray you all get to the top, but you all cannot get there at once, but whoever get there first must make sure he/she help others. This is our motor in my own family.

A thousand likes. Your father was a very wise man.

CanadianNaija:


He didn't deprive himself of anything? Do you hear yourself? See your mindset, are you in his pocket?

Your brother can not get you into Shell, whether he works there or not.
I know for a fact how rigorous their recruitment process is, especially if it is for a fulltime position.
There're companies that hire contract staff for Shell and others, that one is another matter.

If you finished within the age range for their engineering graduate trainee program why didn't you apply? Was your grade good? Did you pass the aptitude test, and their accessment day?
Their fulltime recruitment is centralized and done from out of country.

It's not a one man's business, you hear that he's helping people what kind of help? Do you know? Have you bothered to ask him?

You seem misinformed, you were all given the same opportunity i don't know why you seem so resentful and envious of him.
Shell is one company at least that you can get into on merit, people without connection do it everyday, it's not your brother's fault that you're an engineer that works in a hospital.

The writer of this post johnmba is writing based on his sojourn in Canada. I'm sure there is a deluge of people on his neck everyday asking him for money from Nigeria.

He is probably in the same position as your brother. It isn't easy.

Anyway, that said, it is your duty to make yourself successful and not your brother. That is your motto. Once you feel he isn't keen on helping, then consider that you're on your own. Stop this whingeing and whining and triple your hustle. Pretend he doesn't exist and move on (Read Ecclesiastes 3:6)

At the end of the day, whatever anyone sows, he reaps. meanwhile






https.www.nairaland.com.uae-based-nigerian-boxer-open

CanadianNaija:
You’ve mentioned that he gave money and car to your first born before. What happened to it?
So is it your expectation that he does so again? You think money is easy to come by? Why don’t you have it then?

Were you all not given the same opportunity? Do you or your siblings have the qualifications or the ability to write and pass aptitude test and he didn’t help you guys get shortlisted for the test?
Your family should not let envy ruin you all

Hustle for your money and leave the man and his family alone, if you guys met him on same level, or don’t have a parasitic relationship with him I’m sure he wouldn’t be so closed off.

It must be so lonely not being able to talk with your own siblings on the phone without hearing about their money problems. I don’t blame him for not picking some calls.
While you all are worrying about yourselves who worries about him?

are U the guy the Op is talking about

trevorhorace:


You aren't being totally honest. Something serious must have transpired while growing up for him to be bitter towards you guys. I know from experience. He's hurting inside. Except that thing is addressed, it's never going to be the same. Try finding out what is with an honest dialogue when he's in his best mood. Except you already know.

Exactly something must have happened. He said when they were growing up, the brother was not close to them.

Op, How did your parents bring you guys up, did they bring you guys up in love? Some parents encourage discord amongst their children directly or indirectly.

I have noticed that less privileged parents with many kids do not really pay attention to their children until one starts making money.

Also the topic says "MY RICH", so I believe this thing is centred around money, trust me if he was broke, you will not Care. I understand this story because my coudin married into a family like the ops family. Nine kids and her young husband already has high BP because of demands from his family. The siblings have refused to do anything with their lifes. They are in the village waiting for chop money.

johnmba:
Fellow NL . Am bringing this issue to seek advice.

I come from a family of 7, we are all graduates except the first son who is into business. The second son is very very rich,he works with a big multinational company.

When we were growing up he hardly play with us the younger ones but he was close to the first son. But he totally changed after he got married 15years ago. Though our parents did not initially support his marriage because of the girls background (her father died and the mum went back to her house with the daughter) and her character too. My brother got angry and said nobody should visit him or ask him for money. He used to help us in school.

Later my parents accepted and gave their support but since then my brothers attitude towards us really changed. Each time I visit him , he does not give me money in the presence of the wife. Also he usually give me money to go and eat outside because she hardly cook(maybe cos of the initial rejection)

The way he talks to the first son is degrading and he hardly pick our calls. The first son business is not moving at all but he does not care though he has given him money and car some years back and they don't talk to each other again. On several occasions people have told the third son why his brother refused to help his family. They said he helps people alot in the multinational company and he is a very nice guy.

Please what do we do? I don't want this separation to continue till death.. Our children are watching and I want us to relate as brothers and sisters.

Nb.
Nobody is calling him to ask for money. Am an engineer but works in a hospital. All we want is that brotherly love. Since I finished school I have not asked him for money likewise some of my siblings.

How do we bring him back

1) KEEP LOVING HIM

2) INTERCEDE FOR HIM

3) WRITE TO HIM AND LET HIM KNOW THAT THE FAMILY LOVES HIM, WANT HIM NOT HIS MONEY.

4) INVITE HIM TO A FAMILY MEETING. IF HE COMES, GOOD. IF NOT, STILL GOOD. KEEP DOING 1 & 2.

stan83:

Two things are behind you story, is either the wife and her family has used juju to turn his face against his relation or he belongs to a cult were he sworn an aoat not to help his siblings and relation. The solution is compulory family liberation by a true man of God. May God liberate your home.

Nonsense post.

Even as I am, my family dare not disrespect or mess with my wife. It's not juju. They must respect her.

The OP and the rest of the family nearly ruined the marriage.

Before they will experience any peace with their brother, they will have to apologize to the wife. If they can't do it, then they should forget it.

johnmba:


Need time for himself since 2004?? Toh but we need our brother back

Let's hope you genuinely want him back.

Black ppl with pull him down syndrome.

stan83:

Two things are behind you story, is either the wife and her family has used juju to turn his face against his relation or he belongs to a cult were he sworn an aoat not to help his siblings and relation. The solution is compulory family liberation by a true man of God. May God liberate your home.

God bless you my brother. I noticed how most of the commentators deliberately avoided this other aspect. It could be that he belongs to a secret society where he is under oath not to assist family members in order not to take their destinies or his wife may have used diabolical means to divert his attention from. This is not superstition. Cases abound

Hizzy:

are U the guy the Op is talking about

Lol..who knows

CanadianNaija:


He didn't deprive himself of anything? Do you hear yourself? See your mindset, are you in his pocket?

Your brother can not get you into Shell, whether he works there or not.
I know for a fact how rigorous their recruitment process is, especially if it is for a fulltime position.
There're companies that hire contract staff for Shell and others, that one is another matter.

If you finished within the age range for their engineering graduate trainee program why didn't you apply? Was your grade good? Did you pass the aptitude test, and their accessment day?
Their fulltime recruitment is centralized and done from out of country.

It's not a one man's business, you hear that he's helping people what kind of help? Do you know? Have you bothered to ask him?

You seem misinformed, you were all given the same opportunity i don't know why you seem so resentful and envious of him.
Shell is one company at least that you can get into on merit, people without connection do it everyday, it's not your brother's fault that you're an engineer that works in a hospital.

Ask person wah no de pick calls

My brother it a pity you are still in the situation i av passed through many years ago while i was still in Higher Institution.Honestly to bear "Bigman brother" as rep.is sometimes very painful,because even when you will be in a serious financial need ,many people that knows your bigman brother will ignore your predicament thinking that your brother is equal to all your task.But thank God that i later choose to go my own way and likewise all my other siblings and left the young man and his so called family alone.When all of started making it on our own he has no option than to connect himself with us automatically,now we are all raporing and enjoying the love of brotherhood in the family.So my brother my little advice to you is that you all should just assume like you don't send him at all, ignore him but still love him as your brother,reduce the attention you are giving to him and concentrate on your various proffessions,when the less of you start to make it bigger,he will automatically connect himself.No two ways about it,thanks.

What I understood here about what the OP wrote, is, they need that family relationship and communication, not his money or whatever. Thy just need his concern. My own advice is, if you have the spirit of love and care in you too, just call him any time you feel like and say hi, that may change his mind and attitude.

O.P..take ur time to seek GOD face ask GOD to bring back that brotherly love that was thier b4. that darkness in him ur brother should be taking away....

madridguy:
Is your mum still alive?

I keep laughing at people saying the OP should leave his brother alone and work for himself.

To me, in life we all need someone to lean on to climb our own ladder. A good example is Linda Ikeji, may God continue to bless her. I believe she hustle her way alone, but immediately she got to the top she never neglected her siblings. God bless her more.

I'm sure we all have different background and upbringing but none of my siblings can do this. We have community training and my father of blessed memory used to ring it to our ears before he passed on. He used to say, i pray you all get to the top, but you all cannot get there at once, but whoever get there first must make sure he/she help others. This is our motor in my own family.

Don't trust in the arms of flesh

madridguy:
Is your mum still alive?

I keep laughing at people saying the OP should leave his brother alone and work for himself.

To me, in life we all need someone to lean on to climb our own ladder. A good example is Linda Ikeji, may God continue to bless her. I believe she hustle her way alone, but immediately she got to the top she never neglected her siblings. God bless her more.

I'm sure we all have different background and upbringing but none of my siblings can do this. We have community training and my father of blessed memory used to ring it to our ears before he passed on. He used to say, i pray you all get to the top, but you all cannot get there at once, but whoever get there first must make sure he/she help others. This is our motor in my own family.

madridguy I have immediate brother like this Op brother. I ignored him totally, today he's the one looking for my attention


no human must feel inferior for another human all in the name of blood or seniority. no human is more human than anyone, God is the greatest



Op, aren't you married now or proposing to? please mind your immediate family business, do what you can do to help your siblings and your mother in your little way. I don't know why all this worried from? hope you're not the kind that carried family for head


I carried family for head for good a year, I suffered for it for good 4years beside my bro that don't give a damn about them was always giving attention more than me, since then I have learn to be serious with my life and leave family burden behind, I can only do what is within my ability

CanadianNaija:


Lol..who knows

mmm
see I have seen it
that him wife fit disappoint am
but he's brothers and parents will never
if the Ops brother become sick or he looses his job his wife might run away I have seen it b4

baby124:
If you want a relationship with him, his mother is the best person to make him have that relationship if her actions are clean. Some mothers use emotions and sentiments to manipulate and pressure their children into taking care of the others you know. If he senses that, then that’s why he’s avoiding her. Mothers know their children well and know how to manipulate each one.

It’s really only his mother that can bring him back, if she keeps on track with just wanting her children to have a good relationship. Let her start by sending him daily WhatsApp prayers first and messages. He will get exhausted and reach out.

When I am fighting my siblings they use my mother to settle it. She’s relentless and can kill you with prayer and WhatsApp forwards . I give up eventually

mmm Your Children might behave like that how will you feel because they will soon grow

A lot of people here do not understand where the op is coming from. They have never been in these situation before, they are just replying based on their imagination.

If you were born and lived all your younger years in a very close knit, loving and caring family like the op, you would understand how it feels to suddenly loose one of your siblings, not to death but to disagreements. Your sibling is alive but it seems like he's dead, you see you brother relating very well with others, helping others, he's known as a great guy who's always ready to help. But to your family, he doesn't care.

I'm not surprised that it started after he got married. It always does. To those saying leave his wife out of this, yall don't know anything. If his wife is not responsible, who is? You guys don't understand the extent of women's influence on men. Some of them go to the extent of using spiritual means to turn men into sissies, in connection with the wife's mother.

People don't just change overnight. If the brother was fed up with them, he would have shown that a long time ago when he wasn't that comfortable. The truth is that he still loves his family but a lot of things are happening underground which only the wife and her family know.

Op, there is nothing you can do in this situation other than keep living your life. It's hard but that's the reality. The more you try to force it the worse it becomes. Let your family continue living their lives and ignore him. He will come to his senses if he wants to.

it seems the woman he married might have a hand in this . anyways its best to leave him alone if he doesn't want to come close thats hes decision you cant force someone to love you i guess your working and doing well so you should just live your life and let him live his unless you want financially favors from him i dont see why you sweating over this

Go and make money... When you don make money na him go find you.

Wow

Plead:



NOBODY OWES YOU ANYTHING,LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OFF IT

God bless you. Too many leaches with sense of entitlement. First family tried to dictate who he should marry. Now they want him to carry all their financial load. I bet they are still codedly against his wife. He has done well to keep his family from problem relatives.

Too many salary earners fall into this trap and hardly achieve anything in life despite so much hardwork.
No matter how much you help them they will still never be satisfied.

He called guy rich without knowing his bank account balance. Long throat people.

These are the village people that people talk of. They are actually close relatives with eyes on your money and family. Not anybody not related in faraway ancestral village. God pass them.

The leach cannot forge his path in life despite being a graduate. Pathetic.

Brotherly love ko, brutally hate ni. Would you have written same epistles if he's the poorest amongst you all? Yeye yeye

johnmba:

All I explained happened some years back.

We don't depend on him for money. We are all hustling our own but he is our brother. I don't call him to ask for money but I should be able to call my own blood brother and talk with him.

I'm in same shoe, my brother don't care but it's not bad because it gave me strength to fight for myself and have that respect. I know at first it was as if the world was crashing but am here struggling; there is respect when you are making it by yourself.

If helps come it absolutely okay but if it don't move on.

As for the brotherly love "family is not by blood; it's about who is there to stand with you when you needs it"

johnmba:


I had to explain to give you background of what happened at the early stage.

But we have good relationship with the wife now.

You sound as if we are begging him money. Nobody is begging him for money.

By the grace of God am feeding more than 10 people and I have people on payroll monthly.

What am asking is how to establish the family bond again

Guy add me to your payroll members I can be the number 11

shogsman:
Y’all just rushed to comment without taking time to read through the write up,dude doesn’t care about the money he just wants to bring his brother back.
My advice is to stop calling and let him go,the remaining 6 of you should keep that bond,eventually he will feel left out and rethink.

If money wasn't the issue. He wouldn't have titled the topic, my RICH brother.

You need to learn to read between the lines.

kaywhy09:
Brotherly love ko, brutally hate ni. Would you have written same epistles if he's the poorest amongst you all? Yeye yeye

my brother no be small tin ,when u get money u go see all kinds of people showing fake love from every angle if he was a palm wine tapper i bet no one will even care about him

CanadaOrBust:


1.2m divide by 360 equals $4,200 a month. If u make this living in Naija, u r RICH!

CanadaOrBust bro I hail you sir. Long time bro...

abdulazeez1002:
Exactly.

Kindly read and comprehend the OP's write-up and subsequent comebacks to replies like yours and the person you quoted.

This isn't about "demonizing" the wife as all of you are trying so hard to make it be.

The man just wants his brother "back", feel the love again and fun he so misses (the man is hurting and y'all are here reducing something so "deep" to the trite "in-law-against-wife' issue).

Wake up!

AreaFada2:

God bless you. Too many leaches with sense of entitlement. First family tried to dictate who he should marry. Now they want him to carry all their financial load. I bet they are still codedly against his wife. He has done well to keep his family from problem relatives.

Too many salary earners fall into this trap and hardly achieve anything in life despite so much hardwork.
No matter how much you help them they will still never be satisfied.

He called guy rich without knowing his bank account balance. Long throat people.

These are the village people that people talk of. They are actually close relatives with eyes on your money and family. Not anybody not related in faraway ancestral village. God pass them.

The leach cannot forge his path in life despite being a graduate. Pathetic.

These kinds of people are toxic. I almost end up getting hooked with one. They don't really care about your real status, they see the well to do with as their debtor. May God save us from the toxic relatives, or perhaps, possess wisdom to safe one self.