1) A 29 year old male client comes in and tells you that he’s gone on 5 dates with 5 different women in the last month and about a day after he received a text saying “I think we’d be better off as friends” from each one. He tells you he doesn’t want to just be friends with these women and asks

>what he’s doing wrong.
>What approach would you take to figure this out?
>What do you tell him?
>Why do you think these women all asked to be friends?
>How can he create a spark or connection?
>What can he do to get out of the friendzone?


2) A 30 year-old female client was broken up by her 30 year-old male ex:

>>> We still love each other but my ex is stressed about his work and he thinks he doesn’t have the bandwidth to be in a relationship. He thinks that he is dragging me down with his busy lifestyle. He found out that he might move to another country for 3 years which makes him stressed and choose to leave me. I kept saying I wanted to help him with his work stress but he refused and became more distant. I don’t want to give up on him. I’m not sure what to do, I’m assuming he doesn’t want to talk to me since he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. I haven't spoken to him in weeks.

Showing her ability to understand him will help build a positive emotional connection between them.

>Compose a text message she could send her ex that communicates she understands him. *
Please don't use the word "love" in your answer.


3. A 30 year-old woman with a 30 year-old boyfriend of 3.5 years writes:

"I screwed up and had sex with someone else at the beginning of our relationship... it was when I didn’t know what I wanted at the time. He was working non-stop and he hardly ever called or texted, I figured he didn’t care... ever since I’ve been faithful. I just told him about it yesterday, but he doesn’t believe me. He says I would have told him earlier if I cared, but I didn’t tell him because I loved him and didn’t want to hurt him. How do I earn his trust back?"

>Are there any other questions you’d ask this client to better understand her situation?
>What would be your advice on how to earn her boyfriend’s trust back?

Thank you.

Hi, I need an answer to this relationship question please advise.

30 year-old woman with a 30 year-old boyfriend of 3.5 years writes:
"I screwed up and had sex with someone else at the beginning of our relationship... it was when I didn’t know what I wanted at the time. He was working non-stop and he hardly ever called or texted, I figured he didn’t care... ever since I’ve been faithful. I just told him about it yesterday, but he doesn’t believe me. He says I would have told him earlier if I cared, but I didn’t tell him because I loved him and didn’t want to hurt him. How do I earn his trust back?"

>Are there any other questions you’d ask this client to better understand her situation?
>What would be your advice on how to earn her boyfriend’s trust back?

Thank you.

Background Information:

Jake and Sarah have been married for 18 years.
Jake has been previously married and has one child who is 19 from the previous relationship.
Jake and Sarah have two kids, ages 14 and 10.
The 14-year-old daughter is a professional athlete and has high demand needs with training and her schedule; she also has anger management/stress issues.
Jake is a workaholic, and is very overreactive to problems.
Sarah is emotionally avoidant from childhood conditioning, hides her pain and does not express how she feels.
Jake’s ex-wife is narcissistic and uses the 19-year-old daughter as a way to manipulate and control Jake, which influences his ability to cope.
Jake avoids all problems with working.
They blame each other for all of the problems.
The 19-year-old daughter has anxiety, the 14-year-old daughter Kyah is screaming and yelling at her parents daily.
The 10-year-old son is addicted to video games and shut down.
Sarah refuses to leave the family home yet wants a divorce
Jake refuses to leave and wants to stay and fight for the relationship, but there is no action on his end.

---

At the start of the coaching session...

Coach: What’s on your mind today?

Sarah begins without taking a single breath - with very rapid speed in the mood of really needing to off load everything she’s holding in, she is wringing her hands and has anxious body language.

Sarah says: “I had a fabulous weekend, I went to this society party where everyone looks absolutely glamorous, I’m sure I looked the most beautiful and I donated 10k - so many people came up to tell me how generous I am. It was a fabulous night. Of course my mood was ruined the following day. Jake is doing it again, all he says is how much he loves me and wants us to stay together then he starts talking about (Christina his ex) and all the text messages she sent this week, I’m sick to death of hearing about her it’s his past not mine, I am done dealing with her and hearing about her he needs to man up and just face it and tell her to back off, but he never will, but then Christina even started texting me about Danielle saying we are to blame for her anxiety - I ignored them but I felt like my blood was boiling on the inside. I wanted to yell at her for all the problems in my marriage but I just turned the phone off and went back to exercising and I didn't bother to talk to Jake about it, what’s the point. You know I think I trained that day for about four hours. Kyah is so angry - on Wednesday she was yelling at me after Soccer training for not bringing her correct boots she wanted that day, she called me an idiot and called me useless. You know my mum used to call me the same thing. So the very next day I told Jake I want a divorce that I have had enough, and he just says never it’s not happening I love you and I’ll never leave. He criticized me saying I have no values. And it will be my fault for hurting the kids. WHAT AM I MEANT TO DO? All of our problems are Jake’s fault, he just ignores me, everything, how I feel and goes to work. And he’s more worried about Christina than me, or our kids. I’m left to deal with all kids emotional problems.”

She finally takes a breath and is silent.

Coach: “I understand you're in a difficult situation. What makes you think that what you've been doing so far isn't working?”

Sarah shuts down and no longer wants to express anything about her situation. She is answering every question with “I don't know, who cares” or “You don't even care, you have to listen to me because I pay you.”

Given the information you have above, what is your assessment of Sarah and Jake’s relationship issues? Why do you think Sarah responded the way she did after the coach asked their question? This question is required.*

Have you passed this stage