All over the world, black people suffer from something we have sadly named: The Black Tax.

The black tax is a notion born from the entitlement mentality that poor (or even lazy) family members have for the fruits of your success.
This sense of entitlement is more common in places like Nigeria where there is so much poverty in the land.

One family member who makes it is often seen as "We have made it". This is great!....but as long as you don't start seeing that sibling as "The Family Savior". If anything, that sibling making it should make for some healthy competition for you to do the same...not to be a leech. It is a mind switch you must be mindful of.

Add to it the fact that most african parents have no understanding of the concept of birth control and the problem compounds.
If you are not wealthy, do you really need 4 or more children? Why use your children to become a burden on someone else's neck? (even if that burdened person ends up also being one of your children who manages to make it).

There is nothing I hate more than some entitled family member trying to estimate the income and expense of another family member as to why the person cannot even give them money sef. That your "savior" is a salary earner for some fancy sounding company does not mean he is wealthy or even rich. That your "savior" made some money does not mean he/she does not have plans for said money.

I find most Nigerians lack financial education.
Someone making money does not mean it must be eaten right away, and it certainly does not mean it must be eaten by YOU.
Go and understand what compound interest is.

I just read a thread about someone complaining about how their brother does not want to pick their calls any more. This ofcourse he also blamed on the brother's wife along with further amebo noise about her not knowing how to cook etc (gossip). I just read that thread shaking my head because this is the same deluded person wondering why the brother wants nothing to do with them.

I find that siblings with this same evil tendency, who happen to also have a generous "savior" siblings start to get jealous and start causing trouble for the savior's fiance before that person can get to become the savior's spouse, just so that they can continue to be the main beneficiary of the savior's generousness. This is why it is good to always create that boundary as early as possible so that no one in your family starts to get it twisted.

To those who still think like this...renew your mind and your hussle.
How you fare in life is NOT your sibling's responsibility.
Their responsibility is to their nuclear family (spouse + kids) and your parents (within reason).
That's it.
Everything else is as a result of their grace to you....not your entitlement . Meditate upon the difference.

Nice write up. A man who happens to be the "financial saviour" of his family should right from the onset sound it into their ears that once he gets married, his wife and children are going to be his primary focus not them because it is sheer madness to expect from your married brother or even sister to offer the same financial assistance they offered while single.

Pavore9:
Nice write up. A man who happens to be the "financial saviour" of his family should right from the onset sound it into their ears that once he gets married, his wife and children are going to be his primary focus not them because it is sheer madness to expect from your married brother or even sister to offer the same financial assistance they offered while single.

The same must be sounded into the siblings of the spouse, which is the job of the spouse.
If family savior marries into a poor family, that spouse should be clear with his/her siblings that "my wife/husband is not your savior".

2buffagain:


The same must be sounded into the siblings of the spouse, which is the job of the spouse.
If family savior marries into a poor family, that spouse should be clear with his/her siblings that "my wife/husband is not your savior".

Yes it applies on both sides.

Never let your family know the exact amount of money you make. If not, they will open store for your head.

Pavore9:
Nice write up. A man who happens to be the "financial saviour" of his family should right from the onset sound it into their ears that once he gets married, his wife and children are going to be his primary focus not them because it is sheer madness to expect from your married brother or even sister to offer the same financial assistance they offered while single.

What if the person has unmarried and has no kids and they the demanders are the only form of family around for the person.

Lonelypacifist6:
What if the person has unmarried and has no kids and they the demanders are the only form of family around for the person.

Unmarried as per he/she will remain single for life or does not intend to have children?

Pavore9:


Unmarried as per he/she will remain single for life or does not intend to have children?

Divorced that's the word.

Lonelypacifist6:
Divorced that's the word.

What if they were a child or children from the marriage, I believe they should be his priority.

Black tax is obviously more prevalent among Blacks, however it's not exclusively a Black (people) thing. I've some non-Black associates who exhibit same - it's a product/manifestation of both egoism and egotism.

This needs to be FP for more perspectives #Frontpage

Pavore9:


What if they were a child or children from the marriage, I believe they should be his priority.

None.

Lonelypacifist6:
None.

A divorced person is already going through enough financial strains.

What kind of family member is already thinking how much to start collecting from the poor divorcee "now that the spouse is no longer there"? This is the type of selfish and entitlement mindset I do not like in some African families.

Often times, when we think we are helping, we are funding people's excesses.

Another mentality is that if you are not begging, you must have in excess. They don't think you are trying to cut your coat according to your cloth and maintenaning your lane.

Another funny one is when you carry out a project and people assume you have money. They don't think the money you 'have' has been used to fund the project.

sadly, that " black tax" is the reason why so many people are miserable in life and stressed even after making it. their family members will squeeze anything they can out of them till they are dead. you are doing NOBODY a favor by helping these lazy people, let alone helping yourself.

these people feels so entitled to the point where the believe that you OWE IT to them.
***spit on floor***

Who is the frontpage facilitator for this area? We need more perspectives.

2buffagain:


A divorced person is already going through enough financial strains.

What kind of family member is already thinking how much to start collecting from the poor divorcee "now that the spouse is no longer there"? This is the type of selfish and entitlement mindset I do not like in some African families.

Alright there I'm the Divorced guy I'm comfortably well-off and I didn't pay alimony, these people are the only ones I have in Nigeria actually they're cousins.

2buffagain:


A divorced person is already going through enough financial strains.

What kind of family member is already thinking how much to start collecting from the poor divorcee "now that the spouse is no longer there"? This is the type of selfish and entitlement mindset I do not like in some African families.

Alright there I'm the one in the narrative, Divorced plus not paying alimony comfortablely Well-off these people are my only relatives in Nigeria.

Lonelypacifist6:
Alright there I'm the one in the narrative, Divorced plus not paying alimony comfortablely Well-off these people are my only relatives in Nigeria.

If they are in need and you want to help them, you should.
You can be there for family.
But what this thread is about is treating the entitlement mentality said family members might have over your stuff as is apparent in many from that region.

bukatyne:
Often times, when we think we are helping, we are funding people's excesses.

Another mentality is that if you are not begging, you must have in excess. They don't think you are trying to cut your coat according to your cloth and maintenaning your lane.

Another funny one is when you carry out a project and people assume you have money. They don't think the money you 'have' has been used to fund the project.

I was unknowingly funding a junior brother's drug addiction and fastlane life. I woke up this morning to 9 missed calls from family members, calling me for family meeting about some thing else he did last week that cause division in the family.

A man's worst enemies are truly from within his household, the bible did not lie. What I have herd and seen in the last 2 months almost gave me a heart attack/stroke, my blood pressure rose to dangerous levels my doctor put me on drugs

I am seriously consedering relocating with wife/kids, ending ties with some of family members. Imagine your own blood taking your matter to babalawo for wealth/riches.

Then someone will say blood is ticker than water. They are days I feel I am loosing my mind, my heart is heavy concentration on work is poor I got a query for mishap

Grasscutter:


I was unknowingly funding a junior brother's drug addiction and fastlane life. I woke up this morning to 9 missed calls from family members, calling me for family meeting about some thing else he did last week that cause division in the family.

A man's worst enemies are truly from within his household, the bible did not lie. What I have herd and seen in the last 2 months almost gave me a heart attack/stroke, my blood pressure rose to dangerous levels my doctor put me on drugs

I am seriously consedering relocating with wife/kids, ending ties with some of family members. Imagine your own blood taking your matter to babalawo for wealth/riches.

Then someone will say blood is ticker than water. They are days I feel I am loosing my mind, my heart is heavy concentration on work is poor I got a query for mishap

Funny you should mention relocation That has been on my mind for a while while now, but I'm sceptical my business is here my life literally is here.

I just wished we Nigerians would follow European and American lifestyle of individualism!
I really like their individual mindset - you go out there, fend for yourself and not look for handouts from family members. You give only if you really have extra to spare.
It's tedious when you are made to carry family responsibilities on your shoulders.

Needs to be frontpage.
Can someone mention the right mods?

Lonelypacifist6:
Funny you should mention relocation That has been on my mind for a while while now, but I'm sceptical my business is here my life literally is here.

They're strong reasons for me/family to relocate. It is all tied to my so called blood brother. The babalawo was plan B, when plan A to kidnap my wife or twins for ransome was not feasible.

Am consedering sharing the whole saga here for mature input but not sure. Am still in shock 2 months later

Grasscutter:


They're strong reasons for me/family to relocate. It is all tied to my so called blood brother. The babalawo was plan B, when plan A to kidnap my wife or twins for ransome was not feasible.

Am consedering sharing the whole saga here for mature input but not sure. Am still in shock 2 months later

Please share. We are all mostly mature here in this section.

2buffagain:


Please share. We are all mostly mature here in this section.

Bros, not tonite I just taya and not on your tread, it will derail it.

I will CC you and others whom I think will provide mature response when I create a tread to tell the story.

You don’t need any further input. Cut him off and cut your losses.

Grasscutter:


They're strong reasons for me/family to relocate. It is all tied to my so called blood brother. The babalawo was plan B, when plan A to kidnap my wife or twins for ransome was not feasible.

Am consedering sharing the whole saga here for mature input but not sure. Am still in shock 2 months later

Grasscutter:


They're strong reasons for me/family to relocate. It is all tied to my so called blood brother. The babalawo was plan B, when plan A to kidnap my wife or twins for ransome was not feasible.

Am consedering sharing the whole saga here for mature input but not sure. Am still in shock 2 months later

Wow. I read somewhere that most kidnappings are an inside job. I can’t believe your own sibling will try to orchestrate one.

Grasscutter:


They're strong reasons for me/family to relocate. It is all tied to my so called blood brother. The babalawo was plan B, when plan A to kidnap my wife or twins for ransome was not feasible.

Am consedering sharing the whole saga here for mature input but not sure. Am still in shock 2 months later

My goodness...
Your own brother planning to kidnap your wife and children?, and even go fetish on you?
Your eyes have seen

Please, move far away from everyone in your family for now, change your address and even place of work if possible. Be incommunicado for now till your mind is at rest and you are able to deal with the betrayal mentally

2buffagain:
All over the world, black people suffer from something we have sadly named: The Black Tax.

The black tax is a notion born from the entitlement mentality that poor (or even lazy) family members have for the fruits of your success.
This sense of entitlement is more common in places like Nigeria where there is so much poverty in the land.

One family member who makes it is often seen as "We have made it". This is great!....but as long as you don't start seeing that sibling as "The Family Savior". If anything, that sibling making it should make for some healthy competition for you to do the same...not to be a leech. It is a mind switch you must be mindful of.

Add to it the fact that most african parents have no understanding of the concept of birth control and the problem compounds.
If you are not wealthy, do you really need 4 or more children? Why use your children to become a burden on someone else's neck? (even if that burdened person ends up also being one of your children who manages to make it).

There is nothing I hate more than some entitled family member trying to estimate the income and expense of another family member as to why the person cannot even give them money sef. That your "savior" is a salary earner for some fancy sounding company does not mean he is wealthy or even rich. That your "savior" made some money does not mean he/she does not have plans for said money.

I find most Nigerians lack financial education.
Someone making money does not mean it must be eaten right away, and it certainly does not mean it must be eaten by YOU.
Go and understand what compound interest is.

I just read a thread about someone complaining about how their brother does not want to pick their calls any more. This ofcourse he also blamed on the brother's wife along with further amebo noise about her not knowing how to cook etc (gossip). I just read that thread shaking my head because this is the same deluded person wondering why the brother wants nothing to do with them.

I find that siblings with this same evil tendency, who happen to also have a generous "savior" siblings start to get jealous and start causing trouble for the savior's fiance before that person can get to become the savior's spouse, just so that they can continue to be the main beneficiary of the savior's generousness. This is why it is good to always create that boundary as early as possible so that no one in your family starts to get it twisted.

To those who still think like this...renew your mind and your hussle.
How you fare in life is NOT your sibling's responsibility.
Their responsibility is to their nuclear family (spouse + kids) and your parents (within reason).
That's it.
Everything else is as a result of their grace to you....not your entitlement . Meditate upon the difference.

My solution is more awareness on birth control especially in religious gatherings.

That aside, you can't blame some siblings entitlement mentality.

Some of them have actually helped the enriched ones during their time of need.

Grasscutter:


Bros, not tonite I just taya and not on your tread, it will derail it.

I will CC you and others whom I think will provide mature response when I create a tread to tell the story.

Cc me.too.

@op. The matter is simple.

Is a rich man entitled to his poorer siblings money? After all I can ask him to load card for me. He can afford it too.

Let him know how it pinches

cococandy:
You don’t need any further input. Cut him off and cut your losses.

armadeo:


Cc me.too.

yeyeosoronga:


My goodness...
Your own brother planning to kidnap your wife and children?, and even go fetish on you?
Your eyes have seen

Please, move far away from everyone in your family for now, change your address and even place of work if possible. Be incommunicado for now till your mind is at rest and you are able to deal with the betrayal mentally

elektra:


Wow. I read somewhere that most kidnappings are an inside job. I can’t believe your own sibling will try to orchestrate one.

Thank u all for your words/counsel.

For security & safety purposes I can't share the full story or my decision/plans.

I have alot to deal with and sort out now, we relocate this December, may be one day when the dust settles all, I will be back with the gist and drama