GrabHisBalls:
The thing is that you have raised a standard for yourself. Perhaps, if you're patient enough, he'll come around. I'm in same shoes as you. Infact, I have one that has been disturbing me of marriage but he's just not my type. He knows he's not and has confronted me citing not being up to what I want but I refused to state the major reason why I won't accept to date or marry him 'cause I don't want him feeling less. I just believe that with time, things will fall in pleasant places.

" not my type "what is your type ?

Trustworthiness:


Probably, you should ask so many ladies in Oil and Gas with bogus carrier and cash in the bank turning themselves to baby mama after unable to get any man to marry them. Shiooo

Rich ladies want to marry wealthier men e.g Linda Ikeji. They turn themselves to baby mama's not because they don't have men below their class lined up begging. They want a far richer partner than themselves and its not always available.

When I read this thread, I needed no one to tell me that it was created by Pocohantas and I'm glad I wasn't wrong

You talk about being career driven, intelligent, bold, beautiful and all that but one thing you failed to talk is your attitude. Do you have the right attitude to keep a man who fits into your taste?

See ehn, having high standard, good educational qualifications, being beautiful or career driven is nothing to a man if your character to him and everything that surrounds him is nothing to write home about.

Judging from your Nairaland personality, everything about you reeks of pride, pomposity and lack of regard for a man and this is something that kills everything good about you in the face of a man

Even if you happen to meet a man that meets your specs it's very unlikely you will be able to keep him with the right attitude., so I don't think you need marriage with your lack of submission and humility attitude. It's a waste of time

Ladylite:


Yes my bf has been in it for years. We went to the herbalist together many years ago. It works.


Ask tontolet... She too has seen it.



Wake up or stay dead

You bf was just a lucky yahoo boy, many other guys has tried yahoo plus and still broke.
Stop being gullible.

Lack of submission attitude indeed. The one wey submit to una, una done marry am finish? See this Ekiti boy. Na me you dey advise with by-force English? What will I not see on NL?

Lack of regard for dregs like you and your cohorts in romance section? So, you are tired of creating 10 things, you now think you are a man ehn? You better face your SUBMISSIVE gf and marry her first.

See as they are happy that they have gotten me cornered. Taah! Go fix your fcking lives!

tosyne2much:
When I read this thread, I needed no one to tell me that it was created by Pocohantas and I'm flag I wasn't wrong

You talk about being career driver, intelligent, bold, beautiful and all that but one thing you failed to talk is your attitude. Do you have the right attitude to keep a man who fits into your taste?

See ehn, having high standard, good educational qualifications, being beautiful or career driven is nothing to a man if your character to him and everything that surround him is nothing to write home about.

Judging from your Nairaland personality, everything about you reeks of pride, pomposity and lack of regard for a man and this is something that kills everything good about you in the face of a man

Even if you happen to meet a man that meets your spec it's very unlikely you will be able to keep him with the right attitude.,so I don't think you need marriage with your lack of submission attitude. It's a waste of time

DanDeeBoss:
olosho work?? as as how??

Read again wht u wrote.

pocohantas:
Lack of submission attitude indeed. The one wey submit to una, una done marry am finish? See this Ekiti boy. Na me you dey advise with by-force English? What will I not see on NL?

Lack of regard for dregs like you and your cohorts in romance section? So, you are tired of creating 10 things, you now think you are a man ehn? You better face your SUBMISSIVE gf and marry her first.

See as they are happy that they have gotten me cornered. Taah! Go fix your fcking lives!

The lady you insulted is better than you in all ramifications.. At least she doesn't spend all day on Nairaland jumping from one thread to the other to spread gender hate. She has other things to do with her life and she will be the last person you will see in the romance section

Honestly, you really need to be ashamed of yourself because you're not only a pretender but a very manipulative liar

You do not only spread hate but claim men are inconsequential to you yet you always create alternate accounts to seek relationship advice. Now your biological click is ticking and loneliness is killing you

Anyone who takes all these so-called Nairaland feminists serious is in for a real trouble

[s]

tosyne2much:
The lady you insulted is better than you in all ramifications.. At least she doesn't spend all day on Nairaland jumping from one thread to the other to spread gender hate. She has other things to do with her life and she will be the last person you will see in the romance section

Honestly, you really need to be ashamed of yourself because you're not only a pretender but a very manipulative liar?

You do not only spread hate but claim men are inconsequential to you yet you always create alternate accounts to seek relationship advice.

Anyone who takes all these so-called Nairaland feminists serious is in for a real trouble

[/s]

I didn't insult any lady. I said, marry your submissive gf. Till then, shut the fck up. You don't take us serious, yet you jumped out like a rhesus monkey to comment.

Look at this thing. After creating useless dumb denigrating threads all over NL, you think a hiatus would suddenly increase your rep? Lmao...Gerrarahere

charliboy654:

You bf was just a lucky yahoo boy, many other guys has tried yahoo plus and still broke.
Stop being gullible.

Oga calm down. They went to fake spiritualists, you are the gullible one. Just as we have fake pastors.... There are fake herbalists too. If you don't know then you are on your own. Follow those who have proven results. Money is not hard to make, it is just hidden

Ladylite:


Oga calm down. They went to fake spiritualists, you are the gullible one. Just as we have fake pastors.... There are fake herbalists too. If you don't know then you are on your own. Follow those who have proven results. Money is not hard to make, it is just hidden

My hands are up for you

Ladylite:


Oga calm down. They went to fake spiritualists, you are the gullible one. Just as we have fake pastors.... There are fake herbalists too. If you don't know then you are on your own. Follow those who have proven results. Money is not hard to make, it is just hidden

Show me the way ma �

Beverlyjean:


I love Tyler Perry's movies for one thing ...it tells stories of the reality of life... Acrimony showed us how most of we women think .... The woman in the movie felt so entitled cos she sponsored the man all thru their existence together but dint 100% believe ,trust or loved the man ... He loved her a hundred percent but also believed in his dreams a hundred percent ... When u both come together as one , u both should trust ur dreams a hundred percent , even if it doesn't work in the end ... Most times God brings these challenges to test us ... And most times we give up in the dying minutes... She was the man's distraction but dint realise it... Love is for better for worse till the end ... But because she felts entitled , she tried to control him , and u can't take a man away from what he believes in..u can only support till the end ... She made the decision to move on , the man still came bk to beg but he was ridiculed ... Most women get bad advice from friends and relatives ... We women are not good managers cos we are illogical cos that's the way we are wired , but feminism has come to decieve most of us .... When a man truly loves a woman , nothing can ever change that feeling unless she cheats ... But when a woman loves a man alot of factors can change those feelings ... The woman in acrimony had an unforgiving spirit and that's y she dint accept him bk till she heard he was now in money ... Any woman that supports the woman in acrimony is a red flag , a glaring one at that

Harlequeen maybe you should talk to this lady, I think the problem is that you don’t understand men and Beverly here really do. Also, you are still showing signs that you are not over your previous relationship although you have tried to be strong. Also Harlequeen do you consider yourself an Introvert??

Harlequeen:
I am not under 25 sister, and your christian dogma won't sit with me. If i do become 35 and remain unmarried, i have decided that i will live life, adopt a child and get a boytoy. I have tasted what it is like to settle for a random guy(to be egging on a full grown man on what to do like his mother). Will never go through that again.
But thanks for your opinion but i will be avoiding Shiloh like the plague.

lol.... madam you don't need advice...you already know what to do, just stop disturbing us abeg

SBL28:
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. I lose interest in people easily too. Sometimes I wish I had someone to whisper sweet nonsense in my ears, you know that rush that comes with new love but the rest of the time, I'm just enjoying my peace. No point going around sampling frogs all over the place in the name of searching for Mr right.

And it's not bad to know what you want. Do you pray? Because without God's guidance, all these attributes you listed won't mean anything, some women did more than this and tthey still ended up with 'horsebands'.
It is God that chooses for us. So don't bother yourself, just be praying and working on your career, at God's time, His appointed man for you will show up.

P.s those friends that told you to look towards V.i, Lekki blah blah don't know what they are talking about, na where all these fvckboys even plenty pass, too many 'faworajas'. or they kept a group of good guys in one house there? Lol

Lmao!

K

GrabHisBalls:
LMAO. That could only happen in my dreams. BTW, I never said I look down on anyone.

we shall see.

Lady, I think your issue is that you think too highly of yourself. It sounds as if you think you are the most together person (looks, brains, career, ambition etc) and any man that comes across you should count himself lucky if you give him a moment of your esteemed and precious time.
Nothing wrong with standards but a bit of humility on your part would help.

ur post is void of common sense and logic.
wishing u success in ur search

Timbuktuo:


Nice manipulative tactic o present yourself as helpless there. But empathy for what exactly? You claimed to be logical and here you are trying to sneak in an emotional argument. Typical woman: strong and independent when it favours you, damsel in distress when it’s to your advantage.

What many women took away is irrelevant if it’s a reetarded take away. One would assume that a self-acclaimed logic queen would understand. But this is the internet, even imbèciles are supposedly sapiosexual.

By the way, many women also took away the fact that Tarahi’s character was impatient and duly compensated upon her husband’s dream coming true. But hey, those women’s take always don’t count because it not the conclusion you like. You basically went with the conclusion that confirmed your bias.

One more thing, your comment shows you lack individuality, perhaps that’s one of the reasons you think you have the problem you do. You need to make up your own mind about issues. Culture your own individual thought.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with your standards, and I believe if you know where and how to look you’ll be the one choosing, in fact. I’ve seen women I would spit at bag ‘higher quality males’ than myself. I think you only need to fine tune your searching and relationship skills.

Good luck.

i have been following this thread, and i will have to disagree. Money can never make up for lost time, and emotions, and a lost womb in the main character's case.

me too follow dey search for woman wey go elevate my life with moral support and encouragement in the form of pushing one to become a beta version of himself...BUT NO PUSH ME JAM RUNNING BUS. I like post Malone' song- too young....

Trust me this kind of guys are too busy to be found and not always attractive.

Working.
Educated.
Ambitious.
Has plans.
NON-RELIGIOUS!!!!!


Nne, where have you been all these years?

My advice is simple, focus on getting out of the country. You will meet men during the process or when you get abroad, whether they are Nigerian or not.

Frankly, clubs that meet like once a week or every 2 weeks is probably the best place you will find nice young men.

I'd also say that the age barrier should be more flexible as there are eligible men under 30 or at 30.

Also, men at 35 who meet your criteria are more likely to want to get married quickly, like within a year or less.


Cheers.

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.


Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

funmisticqueen:
i have been following this thread, and i will have to disagree. Money can never make up for lost time, and emotions, and a lost womb in the main character's case.

The key questions to consider are:

1. Who initiated the divorce?

2. What precipitated the initiation of the divorce?

3. Who's fault was it that a divorce occurred?

4. Would Taraji have taken him back if he didn't blow?

5. Did he do wrong by not breaking up with his fiancee once his ex wife wanted to come back?

Answer these questions and we can take it from there.

Timbuktuo:


The key questions to consider are:

1. Who initiated the divorce?

2. What precipitated the initiation of the divorce?

3. Who's fault was it that a divorce occurred?

4. Would Taraji have taken him back if he didn't blow?

5. Did he do wrong by not breaking up with his fiancee once his ex wife wanted to come back?

Answer these questions and we can take it from there.

I'm on this table too..

Timbuktuo:


The key questions to consider are:

1. Who initiated the divorce?

2. What precipitated the initiation of the divorce?

3. Who's fault was it that a divorce occurred?

4. Would Taraji have taken him back if he didn't blow?

5. Did he do wrong by not breaking up with his fiancee once his ex wife wanted to come back?

Answer these questions and we can take it from there.

you are asking the wrong questions.


why didn't he fight for her once he blew? If he sincerely loved her. After all,love never gives up.

Why did he go back to the woman he cheated on her with? Couldn't it have been any other woman?

funmisticqueen:
you are asking the wrong questions.


why didn't he fight for her once he blew? If he sincerely loved her. After all,love never gives up

Why didn't he fight for someone that divorced him and kicked him to the curb for something he didn't do? I remember him begging her not to carry on with the divorce in court before the case was decided.

I, personally, wouldn't do that. Once it's over, it's over. Especially with her moving on with another man. Meanwhile, husband was homeless and was saved by his new woman.

fuministicqueen: Why did he go back to the woman he cheated on her with? Couldn't it have been any other woman?

Lol. You're obviously taking the piss, but I'll bite.

He can move on with whomsoever he pleases. He wasn't cheating with this woman when he was divorced by his wife. He had nothing but a platonic relationship with her, but that's even besides the point. The moment his ex wife decided she was done with him, he had the right to move on with any damn person in the world.

Timbuktuo:


Why didn't he fight for someone that divorced him and kicked him to the curb for something he didn't do? Even begged her not to carry on with the divorce in court? Lol. Okay. I, personally, wouldn't do that. Once it's over, it's over. Especially with her moving on with another man. Meanwhile, husband was homeless and was saved by his new woman.



Lol. You're obviously taking the piss, but I'll bite. He can move on with whomsoever he pleases. He wasnt cheating with this woman when he was divorced by his wife. He had nothing but an official relationship with her, but that's even besides the point. The moment his ex wife decided she was done with him, he had the right to move on with any damn person on the world.

The Lord blesses your objectivity

healthserve:



The Lord blesses your objectivity

Thanks, man.

For me, it's obvious women try to always manipulate situations to their advantage using emotions and sentiments that, when carefully looked at, do not pass the test of logic.

When caught, some women all double down even though they know their positions aren't tenable. Other women would just play victim or start crying. The point is to never take responsibility for their bullshìt. That's why arguing with a woman is the most pointless thing ever. They only want to be right, whether they are wrong or not; they only want their choices to be justified whether said choices are justifiable or not.

all u have said about ur self are right, u are free to do or set any standard for ur self. but my dear everything in life has a timing, plz don't miss ur timing, a wrong marriage is hell on earth, u may think u don't need religion, but u need GOD. he is ur creator and he alone knows what is best for u, give him a try and wait patiently. defiantly u will be glade. I was ones like u, but I allowed him to direct me, today am happily married to the most amazing soul mate with children and a good career, just give GOD a trial.

Timbuktuo:


Thanks, man.

For me, it's obvious women try to always manipulate situations to their advantage using emotions and sentiments that, when carefully looked at, do not pass the test of logic.

When caught, some women all double down even though they know their positions aren't tenable. Other women would just play victim or start crying. The point is to never take responsibility for their bullshìt. That's why arguing with a woman is the most pointless thing ever. They only want to be right, whether they are wrong or not; they only want their choices to be justified whether said choices are justifiable or not.

I'm touched that this could be coming from a lady. Its rare to see the objectively displayed here by yourself and Beverlyjean, you both have my highest respect. Please do not stop being factual and objective as this. Chai. God if I choose to marry, give me a woman with sense. Damn it. You're intelligent.

healthserve:



I'm touched that this could be coming from a lady. Its rare to see the objectively displayed here by yourself and Beverljean, you both have my highest respect. Please do not stop being factual and objective as this. Chai. God if I choose to marry, give me a woman with sense. Damn it. You're intelligent.

Oga, I be man.

Timbuktuo:


Oga, I be man.

No wonder. Apologies