yettymuse:
If you raise a standard, then be sure you match same standard. You want a man with a car, good apartment, gainfully employed etc.... Do you have a car? Do you pay your own bills? Do you have an apartment to yourself??

The pu..s!y market is saturated now and only good pssies with good head gets a great spoil!

....start by upgrading yourself with your own money....(it’s a lot of work trying to upgrade with a man’s money)... I’m not talking Instagram-kinda upgrade... then every other thang will fall into place!

i have these things.

yettymuse:
If you raise a standard, then be sure you match same standard. You want a man with a car, good apartment, gainfully employed etc.... Do you have a car? Do you pay your own bills? Do you have an apartment to yourself??

The pu..s!y market is saturated now and only good pssies with good head gets a great spoil!

....start by upgrading yourself with your own money....(it’s a lot of work trying to upgrade with a man’s money)... I’m not talking Instagram-kinda upgrade... then every other thang will fall into place!

Please tell her my dear.... Standard my ass, she should simply tell us she's looking for a nigga with plenty cash to date we wee understand.

Harlequeen:
I'm very average in looks, but full of self esteem. Some nairalanders even think i am ugly,but they are entitled to their opinion and poor taste.

----------------------------------------------------

You seem to have standards, for expecting such qualities from your man too.
Meanwhile, your expectations tally with mine except that I’m a doctor.
I wish you good luck.

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.


Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

Don't worry,
Wait for 5 more years and you'll find people that's meets your criteria.

Lol...Aunty, you see ehn, this life is funny and full of unthinkable. It is one thing to design a standard in the middle of fantasy and another thing is the availability of what you painted. As it is, make ah burst u ehn...u may not find such man for the rest of your life and if u eventually get one, how sure are u that he is not a monster in human skin that will make your life miserable and happiness far from u. This is life. This is not assertively to say you not gonna get what u painted but always place it under MAYBE. Honestly, I love the kind of woman you're, you set your standard and stand by it, always at alert to block any random guys that is seemingly chasing the present rather than future. This is good. But based on the little understanding of life, we rarely get what we desire... I wish u best of luck in your search... But I am sure your standard will be edited by the time you cross over to the age of no drama...

Azmanaty:


Ugly girls do shit the most. U are one of them

thank you

Harlequeen:
what is unattainable in my criteria? won't you achieve all these things at a time in your life.

I didn’t quote u, don’t f*cking quote me.
U won’t achieve all those things in ur life. Idiot

Harlequeen:
Yes i am. I am feminine, soft, good company, intelligent, just starting out my career, well read and so much more. The man who i end up with will be truly blessed.

What was your last relationship like and why did it end?

Harlequeen:
I'm very average in looks, but full of self esteem. Some nairalanders even think i am ugly,but they are entitled to their opinion and poor taste.

You are playing kudos with your future husband.. drop all your mentalities..be at liberal and pray..calm and be reserved..your instincts will guard you..he can be without job presently,he can be a complete street hustler,he can be the one job shining future but presently find it difficult to navigate..and going to be the one to encourage him.. today is gone tomorrow is at hand while next tomorrow is a bit far...see beyond present..

Harlequeen:
thank you

Don't mention

Ask your father and your uncles whether they had those standards when they were in their early years. Check whether your brothers and maybe cousin brothers of marriageable age had those standards. If they all have them, continue your quest, if they don't,then you need some introspection. Are you not setting up an unattainable standard that will keep unhappy all days.

Pufpuf:
You seem to have standards, for expecting such qualities from your man too.
Meanwhile, your expectations tally with mine except that I’m a doctor.
I wish you good luck.

i am one too, and come from a family of one. I just want to break that monotony we are known for

Harlequeen:
I am not under 25 sister, and your christian dogma won't sit with me. If i do become 35 and remain unmarried, i have decided that i will live life, adopt a child and get a boytoy. I have tasted what it is like to settle for a random guy(to be egging on a full grown man on what to do like his mother). Will never go through that again.
But thanks for your opinion but i will be avoiding Shiloh like the plague.

How can I reach you?

Ferdinandu:
Ask your father and your uncles whether they had those standards when they were in their early years. Check whether your brothers and maybe cousin brothers of marriageable age had those standards. If they all have them, continue your quest, if they don't,then you need some introspection. Are you not setting up an unattainable standard that will keep unhappy all days.

my mother had those standards.

Harlequeen:
I am not under 25 sister, and your christian dogma won't sit with me. If i do become 35 and remain unmarried, i have decided that i will live life, adopt a child and get a boytoy. I have tasted what it is like to settle for a random guy(to be egging on a full grown man on what to do like his mother). Will never go through that again.
But thanks for your opinion but i will be avoiding Shiloh like the plague.

The truth, whenever you find that guy that meets your standards, he won't really be interested in u. Na to just fùck and move on....

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.


Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

You may lose all while trying to get all. Look for a God-fearing man who may not be rich at the moment but has a prospect for success.

You need strong phuck and drop the unnecessary baggage you're carrying. I usually avoid girls like you. Life is already complicated enough, I don't need people who complicate it further.

Just work on yourself and start taking risks more.

kponkedenge:

How can I reach you?

sent you a dm

luminouz:

How soon are you guys closing up for the year? 20th?



There is something about this thread,guess who OP is o!

Most departments have closed and I will be leaving over the weekend.

Does it matter who the op is?

Harlequeen:
you only see one side of the argument. Remember that acrimony was a very controversial movie, and i do not think her character was wrong. What that man did is enough to make any woman run mad. The man was just not loyal,he didn't see her as worth fighting for when he made it and to add salt to injury, he took their dreams and bleeped it with the same woman who he cheated on her with.No matter how focused he is, taraji's main mistake was financially assisting and feeding a full grown man for 20 years. This only accentuates my point

But i will take the rest of your paragraph to heart

Maaaaaaan that movie,someone dropped some comments about the movie so l looked it.Till today l am still dissecting and analysing the story line of the movie.

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.


Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

let's get to know each other
I like the way u reasoned.

I don't reply anything on nairaland becos there are a lot of crazy ppl out there. but for you I can tell you for free what you are doing is the way to go if you wanna end up with the right guy.

Harlequeen:
I am not under 25 sister, and your christian dogma won't sit with me. If i do become 35 and remain unmarried, i have decided that i will live life, adopt a child and get a boytoy. I have tasted what it is like to settle for a random guy(to be egging on a full grown man on what to do like his mother). Will never go through that again.
But thanks for your opinion but i will be avoiding Shiloh like the plague.

It's easier said than done...I just pray you make the right decision

Timileyin1234:

I didn’t quote u, don’t f*cking quote me.
U won’t achieve all those things in ur life. Idiot

i meant no insult, sorry if i offended you

helpnigeria:
I don't reply anything on nairaland becos there are a lot of crazy ppl out there. but for you I can tell you for free what you are doing is the way to go if you wanna end up with the right guy.

Thank you

MedicH:
May i know why you don't want doctors?

She is also a doctor herself

GrabHisBalls:
Most departments have closed and I will be leaving over the weekend.

Does it matter who the op is?

This weekend?


Nooooooooooo! Make I holla you on the other side!


On the OP, I dont give two fuqs,just thought you would connect the dots.

Harlequeen:
i meant no insult, sorry if i offended you

U meant no insult. Why didn’t u put question mark in that ur sentence

Ladylite:



Aunti
Aunty

Calm down, go and enjoy your life.

You may not believe in religion now but I bet you when you are 35 you will know life is spiritual.


All this you explained here are normal for teenagers and under 25 girls.

Lady to Lady I tell you that you know even if you meet a mature guy with all that standard, he may not be interested in you and you are too proud to chase or beg.


See, you are not ready so move on and have fun with your life and other areas of your life.

IN your 30s try again by then the standards you spent so much time explaining now will not seem important to you.

Ciao

You are so right


I love your analysis.

True, when a lady get older, she becomes more calm, all those standards simply drops and all she just want is a presentable working class man she can connect with.
Depend on what the word means connect with.

Anyways I think because I have been in and out of relationships through the years . Now I'm just laid back, looking for a certain inward connection.

These days I get bored within 5mins of meeting up with a guy, especially if he doesn't look interesting and hes the plain looking type or he has nothing to say or if he's too sure of himself, behaving all knowing and feeling like he's God's gift to women in a hang out.

Quickly boredom sets in.

Although I like my bf but I'm kind of bored , especially when he's busy with buisness and meetings here and there.

So to catch fun, the other guys I have met so far are boring. So boring.

Anyways I'm enjoying my work, and comedy spirit filled good looking Pastor ,


And as per the Op, she knows what she wants out of life, she's still very young and feels on top of the world, which is good. Moreover everyone have said it all. What's more to add again?

Sometimes we feel that we owned this world and can determine tomorrow. Simple logic. Imagine you have this rules of your kind of man you want as a prayer point and later this same man is not forth coming and you now clock 35 to 37 what will be your prayer point again as the first daughter? Better be careful. Your father know what it takes to be a man and he should not support you for that act. I will advise you marriage is about correction. When you get married to your man today think of how to build him to your standard. Davido has money and choma is correcting most things in him that is why David sees her different. Look for character you will change. Marriage na work not enjoyment. Some men are also running away from you because you might look authoritative and to an Esan man in edo state Godforbid you know that, you will eat your pride in shame. So my advise now. Just be yourself and ask God to give you a man that will take you to your promise now if not now in future. So be patient and close to God.

[color=#770077][/color]
It's painful to invest in you and work on you to an appreciable standard only to find that very few people will fit into your new life mould.


The higher you go, the fewer your kind you'll find


A 35year old man with the qualities you desire is either already married or in some committed relationship. Cos more often than not, it is relationships that help a man to become those.. So it's best you find a man who, though presently mayn't be exactly what you want, but is potentially matched up..


When you find such, invest in him your patience, encouragement, prayers, faith and work.. Otherwise you'd be like the proverbial farmer who sought to reap where he did not sow.07033065433


As for your angst at religion, I agree the Christianity our immediate forebears introduced us to isn't getting it all right.. It's actually mostly very frustrating and fake. But just like a fake N900 doesn't exist for the sole reason that there's no original one, so also the fakeness in Christianity is only there cos there is the original somewhere.. Loads of corruption and impurity, yes, but the diligent seeker will approach the fires of refinement just for the love of truth..

Message me if you will.
Best wishes