A foremost Political Party in Nigeria , popularly referred to as "The Ruling Party", requires for immediate appointment into the House of Representatives, a qualified Hooligan with the following professional qualifications:

First degree in Boxing or Kick boxing.

A Professional diploma in aggressive cover-up techniques.

MUST be a duly certified LIAR with vast experiencein corrupt practices.

Must be ready to shun the voices of the People inallegiance to the Party's wishes.

Possession of a falsified educational degree will be an added advantage.

Duly qualified candidates should please forward their detailed CV's to the Party Secretariat.

NB: Please note that candidates with deadly upper-cuts will be given preference.

The selection process will definitely be biased andopen to changes without notice, as this is part of the party policy.

Short listed athletes will be given a course in'Political Jargons' to familiarize them with the language of the tournament.

BEST OF LUCK!!

WHERE IS D JOKE?

^^lol

Please am i xpected to laugh.

If u cant find the joke then go hug transformer

Studio CFR:

If u cant find the joke then go hug transformer

now dats funny

Did you actually do the reading? Or you forget to do that

help me ask dem, bad belle people

i dont copy paste like them, originality speaks for me

U try stud lol
I like your joke babes

he no try anytin jor

d guy is losing it

Stud,wats up wit u?

y u dey like fall my hand?

Thanks for liking my joke B4U - will do more for yo sake sweety tehehe




@CYNTHONY NIGERIA PLC

i dey my dear friend - how i take fall your hand wit dis joke na? Lol

Studio CFR:

help me ask dem, bad belle people

i dont copy paste like them, originality speaks for me

which kain originality?//
u just tried to change what has been done by someone else and urs is so dry that i wonder what makes u judge what people paste here, guy get a life

Done by who?
Your great grand father?

Shut up mouf if u no know what to say abeg

Honestly with the way u criticize people's jokes, I was expecting something better, I miss them saucekid and milla

LOOK AT ONE EXHIBIT



Exciting Job Opportunities in the Niger Delta ,

Our client, a Niger Delta Militant Group with branches in strategic locations throughout all the six South-South states of Nigeria is seeking to expand its operations to Abuja , the Federal Capital territory. This expansion has brought about vacancies for qualified and experienced young officers. The positions are:

Area Head, Kidnapping:

The successful applicant who will report to the Executive Council, and the Executive Director, Abuja , is expected to possess the following competencies:

1) Minimum of 10 years experience in militant agitation. (Membership of Al-qaeda, Hamas or other similar organisation will be an added advantage)

2) Fluent knowledge of Hausa, Ijaw, English, Italian and German

3) Expert ability to distinguish between Oyinbos and Albinos

4) Ability to swim in deep waters

5) Ability to recognise fake/marked naira notes by sight

6) Ability to easily recognise all Senators and Ministers of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
Evidence of previous successful kidnap of BIG MEN must be provided (pictures preferable)

Photographer:

1) Minimum of 5 years experience taking photos in war zones. (Domestic fights do not qualify as war zones for these purposes)

2) Proficiency in the use of explosives as camera lighting.

3) Knowledge of the different skin tones of expatriates, as an aid to taking high-quality pictures, is a must.

4) Proficiency in the use of Adobe Photoshop, and Internet photo uploading software is a must.

Please include a portfolio of previous photo-samples (must contain kidnapped persons OR be taken in war-zones OR be nightshots in blackspots like Oshodi, 3rd Mainland bridge, Apongbon, etc)

Militant Trainee:

1) Candidates must be between the ages of 13 and 50, be at least 5ft tall, and may be either male or female.

2) Minimum of Nursery School/Kindergarten certificate.

3) Jobless university graduates, and serving policemen will be given special consideration.

4) Possession of jungle boots and face mask is a must.

5) Preference will be given to persons with knowledge of foreign European languages, and persons with the ability to swim.

Renumeration:

Very attractive, competitive, and comparable with industry standards (payments in foreign currencies).
Official guns, boats and grenades will be provided.
Excellent training, involving offshore secondment ( Iraq , Afghanistan etc) from time to time
Regular appearance on CNN, Alaaroye, Time Magazine, The Economist and other International magazines.
Excellent networking opportunities with Nigerian politicians, oil magnates, and foreign businessmen.

Interested applicants should forward their applications and detailed curriculum militae within two weeks to:
militant_recruitment@OsamaConsulting.com

Recommendations are allowed!!!

Na that No 3 funny pass,

Lancaster i hope u not tryna hijack my thread sha?

lol

no i just wanted to tell u that when u talk of copy and paste it is not a crime,we are in NL to share not show-off,
what i sent is just one of such write ups,
just try aand appreciate what people put out here and let people express themselves without the fear of 'STUDIO MAY NOT APPROVE' syndrome

Nice one! <just joking>

abeg no let them catch u o

Studio, you don apply?

Backoff! Tanimz
(No kidding)


@Lancaster
I hear u


@eyah
Thanks alot

^^ See respect.

Studio CFR:

Backoff! Tanimz
(No kidding)


@Lancaster
I hear u


@eyah
Thanks alot

someone is really sore LOL

lancaster:


LOOK AT ONE EXHIBIT



Exciting Job Opportunities in the Niger Delta ,

Our client, a Niger Delta Militant Group with branches in strategic locations throughout all the six South-South states of Nigeria is seeking to expand its operations to Abuja , the Federal Capital territory. This expansion has brought about vacancies for qualified and experienced young officers. The positions are:

Area Head, Kidnapping:

The successful applicant who will report to the Executive Council, and the Executive Director, Abuja , is expected to possess the following competencies:

1) Minimum of 10 years experience in militant agitation. (Membership of Al-qaeda, Hamas or other similar organisation will be an added advantage)

2) Fluent knowledge of Hausa, Ijaw, English, Italian and German

3) Expert ability to distinguish between Oyinbos and Albinos

4) Ability to swim in deep waters

5) Ability to recognise fake/marked naira notes by sight

6) Ability to easily recognise all Senators and Ministers of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
Evidence of previous successful kidnap of BIG MEN must be provided (pictures preferable)

Photographer:

1) Minimum of 5 years experience taking photos in war zones. (Domestic fights do not qualify as war zones for these purposes)

2) Proficiency in the use of explosives as camera lighting.

3) Knowledge of the different skin tones of expatriates, as an aid to taking high-quality pictures, is a must.

4) Proficiency in the use of Adobe Photoshop, and Internet photo uploading software is a must.

Please include a portfolio of previous photo-samples (must contain kidnapped persons OR be taken in war-zones OR be nightshots in blackspots like Oshodi, 3rd Mainland bridge, Apongbon, etc)

Militant Trainee:

1) Candidates must be between the ages of 13 and 50, be at least 5ft tall, and may be either male or female.

2) Minimum of Nursery School/Kindergarten certificate.

3) Jobless university graduates, and serving policemen will be given special consideration.

4) Possession of jungle boots and face mask is a must.

5) Preference will be given to persons with knowledge of foreign European languages, and persons with the ability to swim.

Renumeration:

Very attractive, competitive, and comparable with industry standards (payments in foreign currencies).
Official guns, boats and grenades will be provided.
Excellent training, involving offshore secondment ( Iraq , Afghanistan etc) from time to time
Regular appearance on CNN, Alaaroye, Time Magazine, The Economist and other International magazines.
Excellent networking opportunities with Nigerian politicians, oil magnates, and foreign businessmen.

Interested applicants should forward their applications and detailed curriculum militae within two weeks to:
militant_recruitment@OsamaConsulting.com

Recommendations are allowed!!!

Gosh Lancaster

I sooooooo loved your joke!!

got me smiling at first, then grinning like a Cheshire Cat to myself

and finally laughing myself silly!!!

Kudos to you - Please, pleaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeee open up a thread of your own with similar Jokes!!!

I'm your no. 1 fan!!

lancaster:

no i just wanted to tell u that when u talk of copy and paste it is not a crime,we are in NL to share not show-off,
what i sent is just one of such write ups,
just try aand appreciate what people put out here and let people express themselves without the fear of 'STUDIO MAY NOT APPROVE' syndrome

Guy, amongst everything else - not only do you display serious maturity

you talk a lot of sense!!

Me likey

Carry yo mumu typical IBO man yarn comot for my thread jor

^^

@STUDIO MAY NOT APPROVE SYNDROME - Hehehehehehehe

Na so fiful dey fear me reach? lol


Excuse, who invite dat No.1 fan of the second poster into dis matter now?

For your mind now, you make sense?