My Funny Jokes part 1 - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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| My Funny Jokes part 1 by agusamuel: 8:15pm On Dec 20, 2019 |
1, Nothing Good When People say they can't see anything good in you... Hug them and say, "Life is difficult for the BLIND!" 2, Pregnant Girl on Facebook A pregnant girl on my Facebook list finally gave birth... Now she's been uploading her baby pics every 20mins, and this makes me feel like I am raising her child with my data bundles. 3, The Dream Job A man went to Reddington Hospital in Victoria Island Lagos and saw a card advertising for a Gynaecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details. The clerk pulled up the file and read: "The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynaecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off their pubic hair, then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynaecologist's examination. The annual salary is N4.2million, and if you're interested you'll have to go to Badagry." "My God! Is that where the job is?" asked the man. She answered, "No sir, that's where the end of the queue is." 4, Christmas Tattoos It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. "What is that?" he asked. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'" Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?" "Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years! 5, My Pretty Maid I don't know why women are so hard... My wife went out leaving our new born baby in the hands of our pretty maid. The little boy kept crying and the maid did all she can, but he kept crying till she brought out her breast to give him and he stopped crying. As the small boy was sucking the breast, I entered and saw it, I was so angry and afraid that he could contact some form of a disease. I shouted at the girl, but she told me that nothing was coming out of the breast. I didn't believe her, I decided to suck the breast too to confirm. As I was sucking her breast, my wife came in! Upon all my explanation, she refused to understand. Right now, I am typing this from my hospital bed. 6, Be patient. Listen I came home from work. I was tired. I sat down on the sofa. Put my feet up. My wife brought me a glass of water. My son gave me a sheet of paper: English Lang. 17% Biology 35% Mathematics 40% Physics 37% Chemistry 42% Economics 12% Agric. Science 19% Religion Knowl. ABS Geography 22% I lost my temper. And started shouting: "What is this? All the time on phone and TV. How dare you show me such marks?" My Wife said: "Be patient. Listen...." I told her: "Shut up! It's your love and pampering that has spoilt him. He is no good and never serious at all." My Wife said: "Oh! Really?" I said: "No one in our family has performed so badly ever." My Son said: "Dad, I am sorry. I was cleaning the old cupboard and I found this. This is your old school report card, dated 27th July 1980 sir." 7, pls like and comment if u find dis funny !!! comment more if u want me to post the part 2 2 Likes
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