bukatyne:


Nope,

We must come full circle.

1st Jan 2020, just check, you will become an hermaphrodite

crackhaus:

I'm sorry but I must protest.
What does not answering my question have to do with the fights?
Is it you and I that are fighting?

franchasng:
lol, pretty, young white girls are the highest gold diggers lol.....they date only their school mates who are also white guys, but if you as a black guy want to date pretty, young white girls from quality family background, then you must be a rich sportsman or an entertainer, or a successful surgeon, if not, na the old fat ones you will end up with, ask anybody else that have lived abroad about this.


As a black guy living abroad, you can always get sexy looking Haiti chicks, Jamaican babes, Black Americans, plump Latino babes, etc....but if you want sexy looking, young Caucasian chick from a good family background, then you must know who you are

Mindfulness:


So they date their white school mates but for a black man to get a white chick he must be rich? Interesting lie.

franchasng:
for a black guy who isn't schooling anymore to get a young, attractive white Caucasian girl from a good family background, he must be doing well financially not even through crime but as a sportsman or an entertainer or surgeon. Luck can happen for few black guys, but it is rare, that is why our Nigerian guys always end up with the old, fat white ladies, its not as if our guys don't like to date or marry young attractive white ladies, u can go figure out

Mindfulness:


No [s]it's because many Nigerian guys in the diaspora are illiterates or semi-illiterates and it shows[/s]. White accomplished women will even share the bills on dates. They are not after money in the first place. The reason why successful guys are interesting is not the size of their pocket but the fact that successful guys are usually the smart ones and therefore interesting.

franchasng:
I am not talking about splitting bills.....getting them to even accept to date is the first hurdle to talk of splitting bills.


You are wrong with the assumption I canceled out. Are you aware that at least 10 out of every 100 medical graduates from Nigeria migrate out of Nigeria to seek for greener pastures Same is applicable to nurses....and its happening now for engineering and IT experts from Nigeria.


Stop assuming the only Nigerians living abroad are those that trekked to Europe through desert routes

bukatyne:


There is a difference between poor, broke educated dude who has not landed his dream job or just got a let me manage job and an uneducated, no vision broke dude.

Ideally, I do not advise people to marry outside their spectrum. I have said it here severally that I can neither marry an uneducated mechanic nor can I marry a Governor's son except I am led that either is my husband.

I have nothing in common with either of them. The mechanic might tell me that it is a sin/ laziness to use washing machine; the Governor's son might tell me that he wants a party or there is nothing wrong in taking coke.

I know this is a generalization before people eat me raw.

So I think it is over ambitiousness for a guy/lady to marry far outside their spectrum. (except led of course.)

bukatyne:


If a man is genuinely convinced that Sister XYZ is his wife, I doubt he will leave her half way because she has not accepted him.

Yes, he will pray to God for help and get tips however, he will do the actual wooing.


Look through the Bible, all the men that got wives from God still wooed the wives themselves.

If you think because God said 'it is done', it becomes immediate, you are on your own.

bukatyne:


Your question to me was dragged out.

I don't turn my family to a circus on NL.

cassyrooy:
Very smart of you.

Like the OP went on to say, women would like either attention or financial stability. This buttresses the saying that goes thus: with everything we do, there are other things left undone.

Wanting both is looking like an impossible thing to give with the unfolding realities in today's society.

Economy is hard, male folks are trying to up their game, so they try to avoid women who wouldn't be helpful in achieving that goal or who may not be patient enough to see that ambition materialize.

Or they give them attention and after sometime, they no longer measure up to new realities because things have changed.

Finding balance in these extremely polarised life is not easy to come by, men, women, feminists of both gender should be able to see through these and not how bashing or not it is.

They have been more worse things on NL than this one.

bukatyne:


You said when you sense a whiff of disinterest or indifference, you flee to protect your ego.

That was why I highlighted that statement and responded to it.

Nobody has talked about groveling before a woman to make her accept you nor do I buy the idea of using gifts to woo a woman except you are looking for an elebi.

If you think immediately you ask a woman out, she must say yes, then you must have an overbloated sense of yourself which is pride or a mask to cover your perceived inadequacies which is low self-esteem.

If you want a lady, be ready to invest your time in wooing her and if she insists no, you can move on.

Sometimes, you need to go extra to pursue a lady especially if you are the type that believes in God's perfect will for marriage.

bukatyne:


I haven't told him to beg now, have I?

Begging for women's attention which is different from begging for a woman's attention and fleeing at the first sign of indifference are two sides of same coin:

Low self-esteem

Mindfulness:



Like you said, accomplished guys will have no problem dating anyone. And nobody said only illiterates migrate but in some places you will find more illiterates than educated Nigerians.

All I am saying is that it is not all about money. The people with money have money for a reason and these reasons is what many women are attracted to more than money.

@bold
Yes because your background shows through your demeanor.

publicworky:


Great words there

but what if such woman does not meet your criteria of what you expect in a woman you hope to call yours. What do you do?

Personal experience : my last relationship, the lady was head over heels for me, so we started dating, but I soon discover that she didn't tick a single box of my basic lifelong criteria of 'mywoman' (by the way, the criteria is not too much to ask for, they are simple)

uninspired07:


These are some of the annoying things you people say that is creating a wide gulf between men and women in the dating scene. So because I made this thread now, you assume I must be poor & so undesirable?


It’s not your fault, it’s because I created this thread.

I have gained what I need from this thread.

Thanks to all the guys that commented. I appreciate you all.

ub.unja:
if you want a better chick in terms of class and beauty then you have to #LevelUp. That means upgrade yourself so that type of chick notices you. Leveling Up can be as basic as improving your wardrobe and as thorough as getting a new body (hitting the gym hard to appeal to women's biology). It also means a brain reset where you acquire a new mindset courtesy of knowing how women, especially pretty women, think. Leveling Up also means hanging out in places where your type of women live.

If the chicks that you naturally attract don't tick womanhood boxes on your list like being industrious, knowing how to cook, etc then you must keep screening. That is, keep attracting and vetting. Attract, vet and pass. Till the one who meets the most of your requirements invites you into her world.

That's how you search for a woman.

MajorWarren:
Lol this is me. You know your self worth bro, just get your money up and you don’t ever have to chase any girl ever again. Girls love money and the security it brings and once you have it you’ll always get them, it’s a tough pill to swallow but that’s reality. I ain’t complaining tho

Mindfulness:


Who said you were poor? I have been telling you all along that there is more to dating and attraction than money but you won't hear.



Level up! This is what I have been telling you all along. But while you improve your looks, read some books too.

fieryy:


I just saw this. The f? What did I do?

kunleweb:



Too late

uninspired07:


Thanks jareee.

I don’t know how an individual will just set out to instigate trouble every time on this section. This is supposed to be a place where adults & married people converge but it has been turned into an enclave for men hating feminazis.

My only crime to these hateful beings is my statement that I hate bowing down to & begging any woman for an amorous relationship & prefer getting my money up.

MajorWarren:


Normally it’s women attacking guys who say things like this but it’s actually guys leading the attack smfh.

bukatyne:


You said when you sense a whiff of disinterest or indifference, you flee to protect your ego.

That was why I highlighted that statement and responded to it.

Nobody has talked about groveling before a woman to make her accept you nor do I buy the idea of using gifts to woo a woman except you are looking for an elebi.

If you think immediately you ask a woman out, she must say yes, then you must have an overbloated sense of yourself which is pride or a mask to cover your perceived inadequacies which is low self-esteem.

If you want a lady, be ready to invest your time in wooing her and if she insists no, you can move on.

Sometimes, you need to go extra to pursue a lady especially if you are the type that believes in God's perfect will for marriage.

bukatyne:


You said when you sense a whiff of disinterest or indifference, you flee to protect your ego.

That was why I highlighted that statement and responded to it.

Nobody has talked about groveling before a woman to make her accept you nor do I buy the idea of using gifts to woo a woman except you are looking for an elebi.

If you think immediately you ask a woman out, she must say yes, then you must have an overbloated sense of yourself which is pride or a mask to cover your perceived inadequacies which is low self-esteem.

If you want a lady, be ready to invest your time in wooing her and if she insists no, you can move on.

Sometimes, you need to go extra to pursue a lady especially if you are the type that believes in God's perfect will for marriage.

isyourboy:
[b][/b]

@ bolded, you're wrong. A lady know within the first 10mins of contact if she's gonna sleep with you or not. Girls judge a man first with his look. As a matter of fact, she'll ask you out herself if you're considerably handsome. If a woman is not giving u attention, it's a sign you're not good looking. Improve your look, and if u can't, improve ur look, then improve some other areas of ur life- women craves intelligent men , rich men , powerful men. you can use any of these to ur advantage.

No need of wooing her before u date her. Everything falls in place if u have the look

uninspired07:


I dont mean to spar with you but I think you just want men to face the vagaries of the chasing phase. It’s not all men that are that patient to chase, call and beg for a woman’s attention.

Some just prefer mutual attraction or knowing that their money is the attraction.

bukatyne:


Are you talking causal relationships or real relationships leading to marriage if successful?

isyourboy:


Both, madam. madam, Both.

I have come to realize asking women out spoil the show and give her the power to fling things around as she wishes. Have what she's looking for in a man and watch her doing the chasing