Biafrareform:
.

So you mean someone can get a girl he didn't pay preide price on pregnant, reject it, then come around after many years to claim custody of the baby and the court will grant him the custody .

On which basis will such judgement be made?.

nanaman:


Hmm.. Don't let me talk. You think so? You already judged with what you read without listening to both parties of what really transpired. Let's keep it that way. But trust me, if some people handle the case for the guy, you would be surprised. The only issue is that the young girl would bear the consequences hence, my sta tus quo.

Biafrareform:
.

Who is even talking of paying up. I don't want him near my baby girl

Graxie:
Story, he will still have access to the child. Better look for a way to get him involve in raising the child. Once you birth the child, look for child support.

Skepticus:


You talk ignorantly and you seem not to understand men.

Do you think you can force a dead beat father to be involved with the child especially when the family of the dead beat father are as useless as the sperm-donating he-goat they call a son?

Kikiofure, if the family of the dad is willing to be supportive in helping you raise the child, it's a good one and if they are not willing, you are practically on your own to raise the child, or give it up for adoption.

Forcing a man who is clearly not interested is a waste of time whether he is financially capable of being supportive or not, is a sheer waste of time.

If you are raising it on your own, perfect the legal requirements to have him bound with your family' s name or the name of your new husband (if he is supportive).

lozanni:


Very reasonable response.
The irresponsible guy might have been scared stiff as a young man when the pregnancy occured and so was coerced by his family into denying that he owned the pregnancy. As an adult now, he wants to take full responsibility for his past action.
Please meet and discuss with him.

KIkiofure:
They said since he denied me that they have no reason to accept me.. So I am on my own

Biafrareform:


I looked after this baby girl from when she was born till she came of age . She is so fond of me .

Now one nigga is trying to upset her psychological mindset all in a bit to have access to her .

This is so hard to bear

GuyWise101:
He abandoned the little girl when she was in the womb, never cared for her when she was growing up...


He now appears from nowhere and started claiming the girl he abandoned just because he has seen that she is nearing to be married just so that he can eat the bride price. (thats wickedness)


If I am in your family I would make sure that he pays every dime we spent on her head, right from her birth.

Amiteye:
how old was he when he denied the baby he might have been a teen-ager scared for his future, not thinking straight....now he is older, more secure and wiser..you know sometimes with age comes wisdom....... Talking from experience

Apination:
Issues like this dey complex, you can't stop the father from knowing his daughter but it should end there. He gave up the right to her the day he denied her

Forumobserver12:


Sometimes it may depend on the age of the guy, is obsolutely difficulty for a guy in his teen to accept responsibility of such, this is usually out of fear, but for his family to denied it, that's
completely irresponsible of the family...

daddytime:
Exactly the same thing happened with my younger sister which I shared a bit on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/5284768/she-pregnant-twins-honestly-dont#79985006

The truth is, you have no right to deny the kid a relationship with her biological father no matter what must have transpired.

nanaman:


Thanks for this. Very educative especially your second paragraph.

To dislodge such case in court will be an herculean task. Reason been that, we are just listening to a side of the story. Why did the man refuse to accept the pregnancy or child? Probably the woman was promiscuous (OP, apologies, we are just dissecting issues), or very naive while in school, or he was out of sight when he got the news or it was just absolute wickedness or the lady's fault as well (you know girls, they might be funny at times) lots of reasons we can't comprehend.

I want us to remove personal feelings and sentiments.

In court, you don't throw the water and the baby away. It would be based on facts. The mother already accepted, the man owns the child. Being that the child was not properly taking care of can be due to lots of reasons beyond the control of the man. The man is guilty of all charges. Accepted

However, does that just justify the court to denounce him of his child since the mother accepted he is the father? Does his irresponsibility make loose partenity?

Kylekent59:
You should be very happy for her that she's gonna reunite with her father. That's the best love you can give to her.


God even forgives us our sins, then we unite with him again and he welcomes us.

Just let them have her, you need not be furious. You have done your good part by being there for her. Seal your goodness with good ending and not the other way round.



You cannot deprive her of her real father!!!


*FACT*

mrkings84:
I like Ikwerre ttadidition for this, all children born out of marriage belongs to the girl's parents..... Fulstop!

GuyWise101:
He abandoned the little girl when she was in the womb, never cared for her when she was growing up...


He now appears from nowhere and started claiming the girl he abandoned just because he has seen that she is nearing to be married just so that he can eat the bride price. (thats wickedness)


If I am in your family I would make sure that he pays every dime we spent on her head, right from her birth.

theButterfly:
Before you allow him access to the girl, as her guardians, your family should

A) Ask her if she's ready to meet him. If yes, then proceed to B, C and D.

B) Meet with him and ask for an apology to the mother and to the girl. If he can't apologize or is shifting blame to the mother or your family, see it as a sign of irresponsibility and immaturity.

C) Ask him why he has returned now to know his motivations, esp. after the mother has done the work of raising her. This is a human being and not an item that can be discarded and later picked up when you feel like it.

D) Ask if he's back to stay in her life for the long haul or has come around temporarily. It would be traumatic for her if he later abandons her again, so observe how he responds and what he says. Of course, he may tell you what you want to hear, so apply wisdom.

Biafrareform:
.

Who is even talking of paying up. I don't want him near my baby girl

Chukapage:
The MAJOR reason having anything serious with a single mother is RISKY.Imagine training a child and all of a sudden a scallywag pops out of no where claiming "Father" and people will still have the guts and audacity to sit down and debate wether he gets the child or not , that's after my hard work OOOO na to kill person.

adanny01:


I get it, you are hurt and insulted by their actions.

However, dont make a fuss about it. The biological father has rights you dont have, so dont go down that way.

I suggest you guys sit her down and tell her. She will most probably wanna meet her dad, you better let her. She is not a lottle girl and you have done the best for her. If she appreciates, she will treat you guys as her first and only family. You cant force anything on her since she will in a few years have full right to choose where she lives.

Sit her down in a family meeting style and drop the news and tell her the family who want her now didn't want her when she was still in the womb and for the 16years of her life until now.

He has right for just planting a seed and running away. Then I that tendered the seed and nurtured the fruit dont have right . Nonsense. I am waiting for that court that will tell me that

Tell her you are not letting her go, and would fight them with every thing you have but she has to decide to be with the only family she has ever know.

I trust that she will do the right thing. Most kids in such situations will just want to meet with their other family and get over the feeling of not knowing.

kingjrofficial:
sorry bro.......there is nothing u can do about it, if he goes to court, u will lose.... pls do the needy and protect ur dignity and value in front of ur nephew....

#Peace

healthserve:




Look at how people are cheapening the OP's value in the kids life. What if she had died. Irresponsible people don't like responsibilities but when it's time to reap the rewards they all. Jump out to lay claims of ownership. It's not who biologically produces a child that's the father, but who "fathered" the child. While the kid can be told who the sperm donor is, he shouldn't be given more access. He gave up on all privileges when he denied her. Also she should be made aware at 18,so right after a meeting she can make the choice required by law to continue to remain with the uncle.

Slynation:

People are just talking shit, because they don't know what you and your family passed through in the cause of catering for the child....
But i understand perfectly due to past experience with my sis, it happened to us...

Now they want you to forget the shame of giving birth to a child out of wedlock....

The Cries of your Momma blaming herself for scoring F in parental guidance....

The extra adjustments and sacrifices y'all made just to accommodate an unplanned circumstances...

The Money and Time been channeled in catering for the girl knowing fully well it should have been avoided...

Bro/Sis all of the people giving you advice to forgive easily and grant the man access are all mad....

-The man must give a clear and concise reason for coming back to his senses after 16years, if he claim he was young and naive, then what about his parent, were they also young and stupid??

Secondly there must be utmost signs of repentance and gnashing of teeth before he should be allowed to see her picture self

Ndi ara Ndi ara everywhere......!!

Skepticus:


Did you go to stay with dad after you met m?

Also, Is your last name your dad's?

healthserve:




What transpired later on between you and your dad..