Gosh, didn't we look global.

So multicultural, so diverse. And we didn't want to host the World Cup just for ourselves, of course. Oh no. You had only to look at the video presentation for England's bid to realise that.

Selfless, that's us. Doing it for the greater good of the world. You could see it in the faces the film featured from locations all around the planet - and, if you were quick, in a couple of backdrops of Blighty.

<sub>A Liverpool supporter shows his colours in a tuk-tuk: A still from England's promotional video, which showed people around the world celebrating our national game

In this South African sequence a boy and girl head for the street to play a game of football</sub>

But where were the famous sights that thousands would have expected to enjoy when they flooded through our ports and airports in 2018? The smiling British Bobby,  our legendary cuisine,  a bearskinned guardsman or two.

Then there was the soundtrack - hardly Pavarotti, and certainly not Elgar. Instead, it was provided by a Ramsbottom rock band called Elbow, chosen despite the obvious connotations that would always be risked when the panel gave the Elbow to our bid.

Someone remarked that the lead singer sounded as if he was yawning.

Perhaps it was just as well the film skipped lightly over some of our less celebrated national hallmarks though. Especially in a week when it took about eight hours to drive to Gatwick, when our Bobbies donned riot gear to deal with student protests, and when rival Birmingham football fans went on a violent rampage.

<sub>A clip from the part of the video depicting a Muslim country. Much of the video promoting England as 2018 World Cup host was filmed overseas

Two boys in the West Indies share their joy at collecting cards of their favourite players</sub>

The Three Falsettos - Beckham, Cameron and Prince William - dutifully made our case with eulogies about football forming the fabric of the nation, and the like. So surely the presentation video would have captured some of this? Well, not entirely.

It started with an excited juvenile opening the letter that contained his ticket to the England France game last month. The venue was Wembley. So far so good.

Cue shots of the stadium (and a couple of clips of Arsenal's Emirates stadium for good measure). Then we're off to somewhere else in the world (maybe the Third World) to watch some kids have a kickabout in the street.

This is more like it though. The young lad is waving an England flag as his dad takes him to the match. And isn't dad draped in a Union Flag? Actually, no. It's just a multi-coloured scarf around his neck.

Much of the remaining video focuses on a range of ethnically diverse figures celebrating our national game from afar.

A young man waves Liverpool colours from a rickshaw. African and Asian spectators are transfixed with suspense as crucial matches are played out on screens around the world. A Caribbean family dances with delight as a vital goal is scored.

Close-ups of the players further underline the multinational diversity of our favourite Premiership icons


_{Out of the picture: Iconic images of England, such as Grenadier Guards in their bearskins, did not feature in the promotional video}

Quite what Adrian Chiles was doing in the middle of it all was anyone's guess, but you couldn't help feeling we were heading for trouble when he appeared, albeit for a nanosecond. (Wonder if they've ever heard of him in Russia?)

The final frames showed Rio Ferdinand, the England captain and multimillionaire celebrity, about to climb into an expensive, shiny car. At least that was true to life.

And then it was over. All our hopes had been encapsulated in a video lasting just short of three minutes. Pity it didn't do the trick.