Redeemed Lust Mind

Many years ago, in mind was always lust.
Waywardness was my hobby.
Fornication was my likes.

Countless men had climbed on me.
Countless men had tasted what was meant for a man.
Countless men had sinned through me.

Although I have goals I wanted to achieve.
Although I was brought-up so well.
Although I know the wrong from right, but the lust in my mind don’t give me chance.

In the school they’re, my mate studying to attain success.
On the street I was, trying to satisfy my libido.
Not that I wasn’t sent to school but always, I sneaked out.

Months later, it was discovered that I am pregnant.
For who, was the question been asked.
I don’t know! Was the answered been give.
Who could I mention?
They’re too many; I don’t know who am pregnant for.

Halt was my education.
Shame covered my face.
Am at home nurturing my child, when my mates are at school.

Good noting am now changed!
Like miracle, perhaps because of the shame, unfair but justify treatment towards me and my loneliness.

Now, strong is my heart; thriving on the mission to achieve the goal that had been shattered by my own hands.
More stronger than before, able to control myself off idle thoughts.
With men, have decided to have nothing with them again;
Although they caused it not, because I was not forced.

Like it was yesterday, my child has grown to become a man; industrious and intelligent.
The sorrow memories of the past that have tried to forget brought back pains to my heart by my beloved son.

The question that is inevitable was asked by son, it caused a pain that pierces my heart sharply but have made not to lie again.
Even if for anybody, not my beloved son who I cherished most.

In a well elaborated way, I explained with pains in my voice and eyes to him, my past.
Adding to stay away from men and waiting for his reaction, perhaps the release of atomic bomb.

As a kind-hearted he is, he accepted me and accepted been illegitimate, but frowned at my opinion of being a single mother for the rest of my life.

He said thus: “ Mom, I accepted been illegitimate, I accepted you as a mother because how you lived in the past was destined to be. And am happy you’re a total change now but I don’t concur with the idea of been single because it can land you back to your beginning, you know nature will ask. Go into the world choose a man – the one you love – born child, I need males to call brothers, females to call sisters and I promise to be good brother to them no matter what”.

The words soothing my mind, the pains a caused by me to my heart was healed that day by my son.

#Fiction

© Sulyman Adam Opeyemi
09/01/2020

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