saturday, December 4, 2010
[size=14pt] I want the German Embassy to look into this issue, give me a visa to travel to Germany and see things for myself and help me apprehend my husband, who declared me dead many years backI haven't seen or heard from my four children 10 years[/size] ,

Bosede Obasa


I have been married for 20 years. I met my husband and married him at the age of 18. At the time, he had just emerged from the ruins of his previous marriage to a white woman.



I haven't seen or heard from my four children 10 years


http://odili.net/news/source/2010/dec/4/820.html


I learnt that the woman lost her pregnancy and unable to get over the shock, she decided to commit suicide.

My husband and I met through my aunt who lives in Ibadan, Oyo State. His own parents still live in the city, even as I tell this story.

As it turned out, we were both properly married. Afterwards, he made an arrangement for me to join him in Germany, where he lived and worked.

Eventually, I joined him after I had given birth to our first child. Later, I gave birth to three other children. In all, we have three daughters and a son.

For awhile, we lived happily together until matters took a different turn when I was delivered of the fourth child. I was afflicted by a mysterious illness, which affected my nervous system.

Initially, my husband stood by me and tried to see how I could get well again. But soon it became certain that we needed to find a cure for my illness back in Nigeria. Unfortunately, each time I was brought home for treatment, I seemed to get better only to relapse when I returned to Germany.

After what seemed like our last visit to Nigeria together for treatment, my husband shrewdly abandoned me in my aunt's home. But I kept responding well to treatment and gradually recovered.

Initially, my husband had allowed two of our children to stay with me. But it was for a short time. One after the other, he took both of them back to Germany and abandoned me to my fate.

For a long time, he did not even bother to learn how I was doing. It was not long before I realised that he was unable to cope with the pressure that came with my illness, he had finally dumped me.

As a result, I have not seen or heard from my children since 2000. My aunt and her husband have been responsible for my upkeep and medical care.

To make matters worse, my parents-in law, both of who are church leaders, and my other in-laws, have stopped showing empathy for my plight.

My husband has since stopped communicating with me. He has refused to take responsibility for my upkeep and has stopped sending me money, no matter how meagre.

As my health improved, so did my yearning to reunite with my family, especially my children, in Germany.

Anyone who has visited a labour room can tell that it is impossible to assume that one was never there.

I got the shock of my life when I called my second child on the phone to wish him happy birthday and he replied that he did not know me.

Subsequently, I made an effort to travel to Germany and see things for myself. In the process, I discovered the height of man's inhumanity to a fellow man.

When I got to the German visa office in Cotonou, Benin Republic, I was coldly informed, after enduring much tossing around and suspicion, that I had been declared dead many years back by my husband. He obviously wanted to get rid of my memory in order to settle down with another woman.

Eventually, I learnt that he had remarried and fathered more children.

What I can't understand is why, even if he does not want me again, he is punishing me by keeping my children away from me. Why did he have to tell them that I am dead?

Is this not a subtle way of eventually killing me? I want the German Embassy to look into this issue and help me apprehend this man, so that I can have access to my beautiful children. They deserve to grow under my care. I am not dead, I am alive and well. The public should come to my rescue. I must not labour in vain.

Welcome to Ibadan romance.

When I got to the German visa office in Cotonou, Benin Republic, I was coldly informed, after enduring much tossing around and suspicion, that I had been declared dead many years back by my husband. He obviously wanted to get rid of my memory in order to settle down with another woman.

Does he have to lie about his first wife since she is washed ip and in Nigeria anyway?.

Maybe the first wife is not dead either. It looks like he has a habit saying his wives are dead.

it's true, maybe he's in d habit of doin dat. i rili feel 4 u tho, it's nt easy easy 4 a mother to be apart 4rm her children and esp under such circumsances. pls learn to pray more and don't give up, m sure d God who gave u those children ll restore dem to u. meanwhile dis is also a esson to learn 4rm, nt rili knowin some1 well b4 gettin married

Outstrip:

Maybe the first wife is not dead either. It looks like he has a habit saying his wives are dead.

What sort of dirty habit is that?. He is probably telling their children the same story too.

She needs to alert the authorities. If he reported that she was dead that should even be enough to start working a case against him. He is not in Nigeria where there is no law. She can get her children back. She just needs to work hard at it. telling people about it nd sitting at home and praying with no action will not bring them back

Outstrip:

She needs to alert the authorities. If he reported that she was dead that should even be enough to start working a case against him. He is not in Nigeria where there is no law. She can get her children back. She just needs to work hard at it. telling people about it nd sitting at home and praying with no action will not bring them back

It depends on if the man married her with his real name.

She knows his family. She knows her childrens names. She even lived with him there so she knows people that know him. She needs to work on getting her children back. The authorities cannot do it all

Outstrip:

She knows his family. She knows her childrens names. She even lived with him there so she knows people that know him. She needs to work on getting her children back. The authorities cannot do it all

What if the man left those children somewhere in Nigeria at the care of his relations?. The woman will not be able to make her case if there is no proof that the man is living in Germany with her children.

The children are German abi? Well he will need to produce them or face charges. You might be right and they are in Nigeria but they are German. He will either have to be on the run or produce the children.

Poor woman and children. When the kids find out the truth they are liable to HATE their father for this.

Aloy+Emeka:

What if the man left those children somewhere in Nigeria at the care of his relations?. The woman will not be able to make her case if there is no proof that the man is living in Germany with her children.

I doubt if those children are in Nigeria cos the woman said she was surprise that one of the kids didnt know her when she called to wish him happy birthday. Oyinbo no leave pikin like that.

Some people are heartless. He definitly has the habit of marrying & abandoning women. Nemesis will catch up with him. Meanwhile the lady should give the problem to God. She should also report the matter to the Nigerian Embassy & the German Authorities to help her. With fervent prayers backed up with action, she must solve the problem. The stupid man needs to be taught a lesson he will not forget in a hurry.