Lostz:
there would have been no need for that matchmaking thread you created a few months ago if this is true.

you are allowed to lie to yourself sha

Lostz:
there would have been no need for that matchmaking thread you created a few months ago if this is true.

you are allowed to lie to yourself sha

funmisticqueen2:
I guess you forgot to read the part where I wrote about how magnanimous I felt that period and felt like helping people out instead of bashing men. But I was less than impressed with the kind of men I saw.
I didn't see anyone worth DMing in that thread.

Lostz:
hey! there is nothing wrong in being single and searching. don't just advice people who are willing to work to be in a relationship to just dump their relationship.

I am not saying you did anything wrong by searching for a man

funmisticqueen2:
I am advicing her to leave an impending terrible situation where she will be his surrogate mother in the relationship.

Yes, it is good to support each other in a relationship but it is not a woman's responsibility to make a man better if he doesn't want to be or takes no action towards that.

She should not encourage that behavior. If she does, he will see no reason to stop it, and the only unhappy person will be her. This thread is encouraging it by feeding his ego. Does she really want an immature man child who sulks because she bought a red pencil instead of a blue one? God knows I won't tolerate it.

Lostz:
I don't see the man behavior as a threat to their relationship. there is nothing wrong with him . some people love to do things their own way. this type of men even give peace of mind in marriage. they hardly overreact or become violent. the always think things through before acting. that is why op boyfriend always bring up the problem later when he is in the right frame of mind.




why do you always advice people to walk out of their relationship when it is clear they came here to look for ways to make things work better?
perfect relationship only happen in the movie or people imagination. you have to compromise one way or the other

funmisticqueen2:
I am advicing her to leave an impending terrible situation where she will be his surrogate mother in the relationship.

Yes, it is good to support each other in a relationship but it is not a woman's responsibility to make a man better if he doesn't want to be or takes no action towards that.

She should not encourage that behavior. If she does, he will see no reason to stop it, and the only unhappy person will be her. This thread is encouraging it by feeding his ego. Does she really want an immature man child who sulks because she bought a red pencil instead of a blue one? God knows I won't tolerate it.

izzou:


Of course, I know you're perfect, and you have a perfect boyfriend currently

But don't advice people to leave their relationship, because YOU cannot tolerate it.

She is not YOU, and YOU are not her

It's just an attitudinal issue.

funmisticqueen2:
if it was you, will you tolerate it?

izzou:


Why wouldn't I? I've been in few relationships to know everyone has their own deficiency

It's not like he's cheating on her. He just likes this malice whenever she's wrong. All she needs to do is apologize and give him his space. He always comes back. With time, he'll eventually outgrow that nonsense

I'm not perfect. So why should I expect 100%
from someone else?

Maybe you're perfect Funmi, and you meet perfect people. It's possible

It isn't like I say sorry every time. No relationship is perfect but ours is "near perfect" safe for this attitude. Let me give you a scenario.
Sometimes back I was on the phone with a guy we served together. We were catching up and I didn't realize that we had spent over 20 minutes on the call. When the call ended I called him and he started giving one word answers. I figured that he had been trying to call me and explained to him that I got carried away thus spending so much time on the call.
He replied that he doesn't care who I talk to afterall it's my phone. Still, I apologized and the call ended. He didn't pick my calls/chat or call for two days. The third day he called and started with "what were you guys discussing so much that you got carried away and forgot that someone would be trying to call you."
That's what I'm talking about.

funmisticqueen2:
move on

Good day all, I'm a new member here. I have a question that I'd love enlightened and sensible people help answer.
.
.
I've noticed this trait in my partner and I want to try nip it in the bud before we get married. Whenever issues happen between us, he hardly call for resolution. When I do, he doesn't express his grievances, instead he says he isn't bothered about it. Yet he keeps malice, doesn't call or chat.. I apologise again and again, he will tell me he isn't bothered and there's no need to apologise yet he doesn't stop with the attitude. Fast forward to few days later before he eventually say what's on his mind. This has been recurring.

Please how do I make him better?

Dande55:
Keep wasting your time with an over grown kid.

Originalsly:
Some people are like that.... you can't change that. Accept that's the way he is.... at least you did well to know when he is upset about something... and he would not share what it is until a few days later. Don't try to learn what it is by force. How upset he is... how angry he is... you don't know. Some people when things upset them... they can explode at any moment.... maybe he is one such person... like a pressure cooker... he waits until he calms himself down.... then he can open up and discuss with you without blowing his top. No one is perfect..... the same way you want him to open up right away... the same way he wants you to stay away.... so whose way should it be?..... See this as Lesson One in Compromise . If this is a lesson you can't manage.... then marriage is not for you.... this is not a problem when it comes to marriage..... small potatoes!

Pussywar:
Sidan there dey date pikin. More than two billion men in this world, sis.

funmisticqueen2:
I am advicing her to leave an impending terrible situation where she will be his surrogate mother in the relationship.

Yes, it is good to support each other in a relationship but it is not a woman's responsibility to make a man better if he doesn't want to be or takes no action towards that.

She should not encourage that behavior. If she does, he will see no reason to stop it, and the only unhappy person will be her. This thread is encouraging it by feeding his ego. Does she really want an immature man child who sulks because she bought a red pencil instead of a blue one? God knows I won't tolerate it.

Soulmender:



But the Op was only asking on what to do and ways to improve and better her man and not how to leave him.
Love is a beautiful thing, don't get it twisted.

funmisticqueen2:
she can't improve someone, life is not a historical romance novel. You cannot change an adults character unless the affected person wants to change.

Soulmender:


Character can actually be learned and unlearned.

In dealing with other people around us, we should always consider the place of individual differences, we all came from different background and must've gone through different faces that somehow shape our behaviours .
What the Op needs is a way to see if she can change her man or at least the best way to manage his attitude.