| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by djon78(m): 3:32pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
bukatyne:
I was shocked a lot of posters think children should share same bed with their parents in a normal marriage. One thing I have learnt from this forum is that people speak from what they have been exposed to. A baby is not meant to sleep with adults on same bed. That's why we have baby crib. Children sleep in there own room. That's how I was raised up. But majority of those people criticizing the op were exposed to different upbringing. Some were raised in one room. The man is right to have grievance, his wife doesn't even understand. And if it's not handled well, worse scenario will come up. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by tsmith(f): 3:45pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Prosper82:
I appreciate all the helpful and advice / criticism. It's what I needed from you all.
I cook 40% of the time. I always do the laundry, and wash the dishes at least half of the time. Whenever possible I take our oldest out so she can get a break from at least one of the kids.
The truth is that Something my wife does frequently is she will say something implying that we will have sex after she put the children to bed then when the moment comes she will either just ignore it and not act on what she said earlier or she will come up with some reason not to have sex.
The other day she said she would come over to me, but fell asleep with the kids, and I don't feel like waking her up to come have sex with me. she's a full time house wife and I realize she's super exhausted taking care of the house and two kids all day.
Last night I came back from work she straight up say we should have sex later and I helped out bathing our baby . Then she started cooking , while I had the kids. When she was done she took the kids to bed and I started ironing our clothes. After the kids fell asleep she came out cleaned the living room while I was still ironing . By the time we were done, it was 9.30pm Apparently, she wanted sex but at the same time she was on the phone with her sister. I was exhausted so I just went to bed. And that's how it goes.
I'm not entirely against attachment parenting, but the co-sleeping part has honestly created some resentment in me. Maybe I'm being selfish for feeling this way, but I feel relegated. She's a great mother, and I'm really lucky that my children have such a loving and caring mother. I just wish our marriage was a little bit like it was before having any kids. I guess, as some of you have said, I haven't fully realized what it means to adapt to parenthood.
I'm responding simply because you sound so reasonable and so articulate with your feelings and thought process. Just 2 suggestions, expressing this to her just as clearly and in its entirety not just dropping hints etc. As in a proper conversation, text or email. Many women fall into this without realising the hurt or impact to the other party or the the relationship. Making them aware keeps the relationship in check. Even better still, do you guys experiment with a build up to sex? Sexting is good, regular date nights too is even much better. To keep relationships flesh o highly recommend regular date nights, weekly if possible but worse casw scenario atleast once a month. You both can agree a stipluation that date night most end with sex and sleeping in same bed. Afterall to start with, someone has the kids. You both have something to look forward to, She dresses up and feels fresh. It can be a simple meal or plus an activity; movie, walk in the park, visiting another couple etc and you finish up at home. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by rhames(m): 3:46pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Prosper82:
I Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart
I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.
My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.
Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.
Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.
So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.
As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.
This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.
I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.
We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.
I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.
Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.
I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?
What do you guys think?
Were you born to be sex machine? Why don't you give the woman a break to bring up those children.? Put your self in her position and find out how it feels then compare. You are not a complete man yet except you stop Bringing your marriage issues especially when it's about copulation. Why throw decorum to the winds? Did she deny you food or shelter or even throw your things on the streets because of anything? Please appreciate that woman for being a good wife. You will have more sex than what you expect later on in your marriage. Oro runrun. |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by Afrikween(f): 3:47pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
GGirll:
Why don't you become his side chick? Home breaker better get sense this year cos many diseases abound non sense girl. shut up you dumb cunt..... don’t even know when someone is being sarcastic.....puta madrefuka |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by Nobody: 4:04pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
fuzzywuzzy:
She likes the validation she gets from men, just read her posts and pass. To think I used to like her comments before. I don't know what later happened to her. Pity. |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by GGirll: 4:17pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Afrikween:
shut up you dumb cunt..... don’t even know when someone is being sarcastic.....puta madrefuka you can't speak like that in a delicate matter as this and call it being sarcastic....don't know your level of education though. |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by midnighter(f): 4:26pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
nisah:
Best comment I read on this thread. Thank you |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by fuzzywuzzy: 4:26pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
koyyes:
To think I used to like her comments before. I don't know what later happened to her.
Pity. She's not getting any attention in real life so she needs to do this. And women on NL don't praise or 'like' posts like men do..... |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by Afrikween(f): 4:35pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Girl you stupid gan walai.... and for your information I’m a graduate of fine arts from the University of Nigeria Nsukka. GGirll:
you can't speak like that in a delicate matter as this and call it being sarcastic....don't know your level of education though. |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by hahn(m): 4:38pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
CAPSLOCKED:
your favorite spot should be included. inside a well.  It is well  |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by Nobody: 4:42pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Prosper82:
I appreciate all the helpful and advice / criticism. It's what I needed from you all.
I cook 40% of the time. I always do the laundry, and wash the dishes at least half of the time. Whenever possible I take our oldest out so she can get a break from at least one of the kids.
The truth is that Something my wife does frequently is she will say something implying that we will have sex after she put the children to bed then when the moment comes she will either just ignore it and not act on what she said earlier or she will come up with some reason not to have sex.
The other day she said she would come over to me, but fell asleep with the kids, and I don't feel like waking her up to come have sex with me. she's a full time house wife and I realize she's super exhausted taking care of the house and two kids all day.
Last night I came back from work she straight up say we should have sex later and I helped out bathing our baby . Then she started cooking , while I had the kids. When she was done she took the kids to bed and I started ironing our clothes. After the kids fell asleep she came out cleaned the living room while I was still ironing . By the time we were done, it was 9.30pm Apparently, she wanted sex but at the same time she was on the phone with her sister. I was exhausted so I just went to bed. And that's how it goes.
I'm not entirely against attachment parenting, but the co-sleeping part has honestly created some resentment in me. Maybe I'm being selfish for feeling this way, but I feel relegated. She's a great mother, and I'm really lucky that my children have such a loving and caring mother. I just wish our marriage was a little bit like it was before having any kids. I guess, as some of you have said, I haven't fully realized what it means to adapt to parenthood.
Your wife is trying. And if you really take time to ask her what's on her mind in a relaxed setting, she may open up. Its not easy being a full time housewife. With marriage comes understanding and patience. Things can never be exactly the same after the birth of kids. But they can be improved on if both meet each other half way. You don't have to get to the point of being upset before you discuss your concerns with her. It will not help. Leave all these touts that can't keep a single responsible woman and all these angry and desperate home wreckers attacking your wife. Don't take any of their destructive advice. Responsible married men who are /have being in your shoes have given you their advice. Take it and keep your issues out of Nairaland. |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by Nobody: 5:07pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
fuzzywuzzy:
She's not getting any attention in real life so she needs to do this. And women on NL don't praise or 'like' posts like men do..... 
|
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by JOSIG: 5:19pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Vortex369:
Well, your last line was a question: What I think?
Are you sure you really want to know what I think?
Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.
I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.
The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.
You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?
My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.
It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.
You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.
Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?
Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.
Free the guy abeg. The truth you are running away from and that the Op needs to know is that when a woman starts having dwindling interest in sex, they are losing interest in the man and most likely having an affair. Yes, mums of babies of less than one year so have affairs. I have seen such. The Op did not write the piece as he is experiencing it currently. He was just trying to be civilsed. His situation is pathetic and someone is talking trash about being Alpha male. Alpha male ko, Omega male ni. As men, it's unfortunate the society expects you to swallow plenty shit coming from your wife. Op, my advice to you is open your eyes and be observant. God will reveal the problem to you though the revelation might be painful to you. Nonsense... 2 Likes |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by JOSIG: 5:21pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Lolo24:
You took the words out of my big head. Imagine what a grown man posted Free the guy abeg. The truth you are running away from and that the Op needs to know is that when a woman starts having dwindling interest in sex, they are losing interest in the man and most likely having an affair. Yes, mums of babies of less than one year so have affairs. I have seen such. The Op did not write the piece as he is experiencing it currently. He was just trying to be civilsed. His situation is pathetic and someone is talking trash about being Alpha male. Alpha male ko, Omega male ni. As men, it's unfortunate the society expects you to swallow plenty shit coming from your wife. Op, my advice to you is open your eyes and be observant. God will reveal the problem to you though the revelation might be painful to you. Nonsense... 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by JOSIG: 5:24pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
bukatyne:
You have no inkling about what marriage is.
By the time the husband grows cold and gets used to surviving the marriage emotionally without her, I hope she marries those kids. 
If she not behaving like Alpha & Omega over those kids, she would actually get her husband to be more participatory if it is an issue. True words. He doesn't have an idea of what marriage is all about. |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by Anextin(f): 5:33pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Belafonte:
It’s important to read and understand what you are responding to before your actual response.
Someone complained of two months of “very poor sleep”, but you don’t think it’s sufficient reason enough to seek other sleeping arrangements.
Secondly, he hasn’t said he’s not been parenting. Wtf Do u think the wife is getting any sleep at all. Raising kids requires parents forfeiting much sleep till they come of age. One just have to deal with it. |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by lalopeto: 6:06pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
ImaIma1:
5 year??  . What hapun?  long story .......hmm you know, issues thanks for your concerns buddy 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by JOSIG: 6:12pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
234GT:
You are the STUPID person here, not the OP. The man loves his wife, that is why he is complaining. Sex is over available these days. If sex is his problem, he can get it outside, with girls that will even give him much better sex than his wife, for cheap too.
The wife is more stupid than you because her dead brain does not know that she is pushing the man outside. Thank you for telling the idiot what he is. |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by godliman: 6:23pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Vortex369:
Well, your last line was a question: What I think?
Are you sure you really want to know what I think?
Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.
I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.
The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.
You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?
My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.
It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.
You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.
Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?
Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.
You know what I think about your post? You spoke the truth rashly. Rash truth can cause a fight just like soft insults |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by Nobody: 6:25pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
godliman:
You know what I think about your post? You spoke the truth rashly. Rash truth can cause a fight just like soft insults No one can insult me more than I insult myself. I am an insult personified, that is why I am graduating from being human to something better than mere mortals. But the latency of truth stays sacrosanct in the face of vocal idiotic terrorism authored by a cyber collective of nobodies. |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by Daughterboard(m): 6:27pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Vortex369:
Well, your last line was a question: What I think?
Are you sure you really want to know what I think?
Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.
I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.
The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.
You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?
My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.
It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.
You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.
Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?
Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.
So a man must suffer in marriage to proof his manhood. Well done Mr. Solo |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by Nobody: 6:31pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Daughterboard:
So a man must suffer in marriage to proof his manhood. Well done Mr. Solo Do not pretend to be stupid. Sex was designed for pro-creation and not for your pleasure as a failed specie. If you want happiness, take a poison and spare the universe of your silly attraction to ignorance. By the way, if you need orgasm without the trouble of human-to-human inconvenience, then embrace crack-cocaine. It helps your animal nature generate whole-body orgasm. |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by ImaIma1(f): 6:41pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
djon78:
I wonder why many people were criticizing and insulting the op. A baby right from time is meant to sleep in his/her crib.
All this sleeping with children isn't right.
Those supporting it are primitive.
Husband and wife must have there time to themselves. Bringing a child into the mix is wrong. children should learn how to stay in there space and be independent.
I personally will not tolerate that. There must be space and it's meant to be respected.
In fact my daughter is so independent that she requests to be put in her bed. She started sleeping on her own bed right from birth because I had heard and read about parents struggling to get their children sleep in their beds later after they had allowed them get used to sleeping with them. And I didn't want to go through that. There are some practices parents do that give them unnecessary stress later. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by Nobody: 7:38pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Cutehector:
very stupid I must join you to say Very very stupid I must join you to say too. |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by Nobody: 7:44pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
If your marriage is falling apart, give her "Things fall apart" she will learn some great lessons from Okonkwo.
Oh lord! Am I making sense at all? |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by Legendguru: 7:46pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Your wife is the one starving you not the kids this is part of the reason why men cheat .wives should know men get Hot many times in a week and should always make themselves available to their men except for health reasons . 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by iso604: 7:55pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Uyi168:
..
Dormo boss.. Epa everywhere good Any ideas men dey street inbox me 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by HarunaWest(m): 8:17pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Prosper82:
I appreciate all the helpful and advice / criticism. It's what I needed from you all.
I cook 40% of the time. I always do the laundry, and wash the dishes at least half of the time. Whenever possible I take our oldest out so she can get a break from at least one of the kids.
The truth is that Something my wife does frequently is she will say something implying that we will have sex after she put the children to bed then when the moment comes she will either just ignore it and not act on what she said earlier or she will come up with some reason not to have sex.
The other day she said she would come over to me, but fell asleep with the kids, and I don't feel like waking her up to come have sex with me. she's a full time house wife and I realize she's super exhausted taking care of the house and two kids all day.
Last night I came back from work she straight up say we should have sex later and I helped out bathing our baby . Then she started cooking , while I had the kids. When she was done she took the kids to bed and I started ironing our clothes. After the kids fell asleep she came out cleaned the living room while I was still ironing . By the time we were done, it was 9.30pm Apparently, she wanted sex but at the same time she was on the phone with her sister. I was exhausted so I just went to bed. And that's how it goes.
I'm not entirely against attachment parenting, but the co-sleeping part has honestly created some resentment in me. Maybe I'm being selfish for feeling this way, but I feel relegated. She's a great mother, and I'm really lucky that my children have such a loving and caring mother. I just wish our marriage was a little bit like it was before having any kids. I guess, as some of you have said, I haven't fully realized what it means to adapt to parenthood.
Stop deceiving yourself..Just get a girlfriend. Your woman isn't the type that likes sex before sef..So any excuse, she wud gladly take it with both hands. Meanwhile always use protection NB: I said get a girlfriend not two. Don't be a pervert. |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by godliman: 8:26pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Vortex369:
No one can insult me more than I insult myself. I am an insult personified, that is why I am graduating from being human to something better than mere mortals. But the latency of truth stays sacrosanct in the face of vocal idiotic terrorism authored by a cyber collective of nobodies. pls take it easy madam this your grammar will cause ulcer 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by Belafonte(m): 8:33pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
sisisioge:
Which ones ? Biko follow us on IG @Milares_kitchen biko. I'm looking for followers. Lol. Na kiss I wan write o. Kids bawo . I go follow you later. |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by IAMCHRISTED(f): 8:36pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Send me an email and I'll tell you how to go about it. It's working for me and my husband. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Am Sex Starved, My Marriage Is Falling Apart by GGirll: 8:47pm On Jan 24, 2020 |
Afrikween:
Girl you stupid gan walai.... and for your information I’m a graduate of fine arts from the University of Nigeria Nsukka. Fine arts I can understand now pls smell outta my mention I don't like responding to dolts ok. |
